"I'm so sorry about that," Danielle said as she tried to disentangle herself from the chicken she had tripped over.

"It's quite all right," the chicken said as she shook herself vigorously. "I should have been watching where I was going. My name is Esther, by the way."

"I'm Danielle," she said as she shook her wing. "Very nice to meet you."

"Where were you heading off to in such a hurry, if I might ask?"

"Nowhere in particular," Danielle said. "I was just trying to get away from this creepy guy in that weird store. Speaking of which, I should probably keep moving because he might come out after me."

"Are you talking about Straight Shootin' Pete?" Esther asked. "Yeah, that guy's the worst. Come with me, I know a place where we can get away from him and maybe grab a cocktail while we're at it."

"Okay, sounds good," Danielle said. "I've got some friends that are at the Galloping Centipede Inn. I should probably try to make my way over there eventually."

"Oh honey, you don't want to go there right now. There's a violent mob tearing that place apart. Stick with me. I'll show you a good time. You can meet up with your friends later."

"Whatever's going to get me away from that knife wielding lunatic is fine with me for now."

"Have you ever been to the Steam Room? It's like a sauna and a bar all in one. It's usually pretty crowded at this time of night. Straight Shootin' Pete will never find us in that place."

"Lead the way," Danielle said.

She followed Esther for a few blocks until they came to an oval shaped pink building. There was a sign that appeared to be made out of steam that from time to time coalesced into legible words. The message also changed periodically. At one point it read "The Hottest Bar in Town."

There was a small entryway with doors leading off on either side. Esther led them into the door on the right, which opened into a locker room. Here they had to change into towels before they could enter the main bar. Danielle chose a blue and white striped towel, while Esther chose an orange one with pictures of muscle bound men on it.

Once they were wrapped up in their towels, they exited out another door in the far end of the locker room and came into a room that was so thick with steam, Danielle could barely see a foot in front of her. She started sweating almost immediately and her glasses completely fogged up. She decided to duck back into the locker room and drop them off as they were completely useless to her in the bar. She emerged again into the steam filled room and looked around in vain for Esther. She couldn't see anyone or anything at all other than a thick cloud of white steam. There was also a constant loud noise somewhat like the sound of a bunch of pianos being smashed. It didn't seem to originate from anywhere in particular but surrounded her at all times. There was a vaguely rhythmic quality to it, and after a bit Danielle realized it was probably some sort of music.

She wandered around for a moment before bumping into a walrus in a purple towel with floral print who was sitting on a stool sipping a mixed drink from a glass shaped like a pretzel.

"Sorry about that, ma'am," Danielle said as she shifted over a step and bumped into something decidedly solid that she presumed was the actual bar itself. She had no idea how to get a bartender's attention or where someone was supposed to keep their floss when they were wearing nothing but a towel. She was also starting to sweat profusely.

She stood clutching the bar, not wanting to let go of it for fear of getting lost in the thick cloud of mist. After a few minutes of standing alone she was starting to get a little antsy. She hadn't seen any sign of a bartender, or anyone else for that matter, other than the walrus who was still sitting casually on her stool sipping her drink. After another minute of awkwardly standing there, she attempted to make small talk.

"Whatcha drinking there?"

The walrus glanced at her as if surprised to be addressed. "Pureed Penguin Cocktail."

"Oh. Uh, what's in it?"

"Mostly penguin and fermented penguin guts. It's really tasty. You want a sip?" She held the glass forth. A slightly rotten odor with a hint of formaldehyde wafted towards Danielle and it took a great effort not to wrinkle her nose in disgust.

"No thanks. Do you know if they have, like, cranberry vodka tonics or something here?"

"Don't know," the walrus shrugged. "Never heard of that drink. But then, I only enjoy drinking dismembered penguins."

"Yeah, when you find something you like, sometimes it's hard to break away from it," Danielle said agreeably. "How do you get served in this place anyway? I can't even tell if a bartender has come by."

"Personally I just slam my flipper down on the bar really hard a few times. That usually gets someone's attention. You need a drink?"

"Uh, well that's the other thing. I kind of don't have any floss on me at the moment. Not really sure where to keep it for that matter."

"Oh, no problem. I'll buy this round. You sure I can't interest you in a Pureed Penguin? They're incredibly delicious."

"That's very kind of you, but no thanks."

"Well, what do you want? One of those cranky-berry elixirs you mentioned? My treat."

"Cranberry vodka tonic. If they have it."

"Sure thing," the walrus said as she slammed her flipper down several times, causing the whole bar to shake with the impact. A blurry shape emerged from the mist on the other side of the bar, but remained too indistinct for Danielle to tell who or what it was. In the meantime, she had managed to locate another bar stool and plopped herself down on it.

The walrus pulled out some floss from somewhere under her towel and slapped it down on top of the bar while placing their order. There was some back and forth between the walrus and the bartender, but Danielle couldn't hear what they were saying over the loud music.

After a moment, the walrus turned and handed her an icy cold glass. It felt good in the sweltering heat of the room. "Thanks," Danielle said.

"They didn't have your crabapple whatever it was you wanted, but since it seems like you like fruity drinks I took the liberty of ordering you a schnoozleberry colada."

Danielle took a sip of the drink. It was strange and exotic tasting, but sweet, and after a second sip, she decided she liked it.

"The name's Clarissa, by the way," the walrus said as she held out her flipper.

"Danielle," she replied as she took the flipper gently and shook it. "Pleasure to meet you. And thanks again for the drink. It's good."

"No problem. So how the heck did you end up in this place anyway? No offense, but you seem like you're maybe not from around here."

"That obvious, huh? I actually came in here with this chicken I just met. I have no idea where she is at the moment though."

"Yeah, I used to be best friends with a chicken," Clarissa said. "She was notorious for disappearing on me. Of course the last time that happened it turned out I had accidentally sat on her. I suppose that one wasn't really her fault. For that matter maybe I better make sure I'm not sitting on your friend right now." She lifted herself from the bar stool and then bent over to inspect it. "No don't see any squashed chickens on the stool. Would you mind checking my posterior?"

"Looks like you're all clear," Danielle said.

"Well, that's a relief. I kept finding feathers on my rump for weeks after I flattened Nora. That was quite the messy affair. I really don't recommend sitting on chickens."

"That seems like sage advice," Danielle said as she took another sip of her drink and then held it against her face. The cold radiating off of it felt wonderful. It really was ridiculously hot in here

Clarissa started to say something else, but Danielle didn't hear what she said because she was suddenly starting to feel very light-headed. She was seriously starting to question whether mixing a sauna and alcohol was a smart idea, but she didn't have time to complete the thought before she fainted completely and fell off her bar stool, crashing in a heap on the hard wooden floor.