SPECIAL CHAPTER

"NATATAKOT ako sa maaaring maging epekto nito kay Hans," pagtatapat ko kay David. We were on the bed. Madalas kaming mag-usap bago matulog.

My husband continued stroking my hair. Nakahiga ako sa kanyang dibdib at nagpapaantok. Maghahating-gabi na pero hindi pa rin ako dinadalaw ng antok sa kaiisip kay Hans.

"Don't you trust our son?" balik-tanong niya. He lowered his face and kissed me on the temple.

"Hindi naman sa gano'n. May tiwala naman ako sa kanya. Lalo na at kasama kitang nagpalaki sa kanya. Kaya lang bakit kailangan pa niyang bumukod sa atin?"

Hans just turned eighteen last week. Ang dami niyang natanggap na regalo mula kay David at sa mga kaibigan nito. Iyong asawa ni Heaven na si Levi ay niregaluhan si Hans ng condo unit. Iyong si Theo naman ay niregulahan siya ng brand new na kotse. At ang asawa ko, hindi nagpatinag, isang malaking lote sa Tagaytay ang binili para rito. Para sakaling kapag dumating na raw sa tamang edad si Hans at naisipang mag-asawa ay puwede nitong patayuan ng bahay ang lote.

"That's just normal for his age to seek independence, wife. Besides, I know he would truly understand life when he's living alone. Isipin mo na lang na mas matututo siya sa buhay lalo na at wala nang magluluto ng agahan niya tuwing umaga."

David held my hand and brought it to his lips, giving it a kiss as if telling me that everything's going to be alright for Hans.

"Pero kasi baka ito ang magiging dahilan para lumayo ang loob niya sa 'tin—"

"Shhh, I doubt our son would do that to us, wife." Umayos ng higa si David saka niyakap ako.

"Bakit gano'n, David? Bakit pakiramdam ko hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin naaabot si Hans? Sa tuwing tinitingnan ko siya, nakikita ko pa ring nasasaktan siya para sa 'kin. It's as if he's pleasing us with too much love and respect to pay for his existence. Pakiramdam ko wala na siyang natitirang pagmamahal para sa sarili niya."

"That's exactly why we need to let him go and let him live a normal life of an adolescent," David explained.

I let out a heavy sigh. I've been paying extra attention to Hans for the past six years because he's been isolating himself. Our relationship is almost open but not quite. Madalas ay sinusunod nito ang mga utos ko at ni David nang walang pag-aalinlangan. Noong nag-enrol siya ng kolehiyo ay kumuha siya ng Accountancy kahit na mas matimbang sa kanya ang Architecture. Noong tinanong ko siya kung bakit iyon ang napili niya, sabi niya gusto niya raw matulungan ang pamilya sa negosyo. He's always thinking about us. Subsob din siya sa pag-aaral simula noong tumungtong siya ng high school hanggang magkolehiyo. He's been extra careful with his actions because he's afraid he might disappoint us, which is totally the opposite.

"Napansin mo rin pala. Akala ko kasi ako lang ang nakapansin," mahinang tugon ko at isiniksik lalo ang aking sarili kay David.

This is what I liked about my relationship with my husband. After a very busy day, we would end up cuddling and conversing before drifting to sleep. David would always share about his day. I would share about my day in return, including every little milestone being achieved by our children.

"Hans needs a new environment. It would be best for him to explore the world outside the walls he built for himself. Masyado na siyang subsob sa pag-aaral at pagtulong dito sa bahay. He's trying to be as perfect as he could be in our eyes. He needs to learn that it's okay to commit mistakes. He needs to realize that he or his life can never be perfect."

Naluha ako sa aking narinig mula kay David. I am still overwhelmed about the love that he's been pouring for Hans despite the fact that the latter did not come from his very own blood. Pinatunayan niya sa akin na karapat-dapat ngang dalhin ni Hans ang kanyang apelyido. Sa totoo lang ay mas malapit pa si Hans sa kanya kaysa sa akin.

"Did I say something wrong? Why are you crying, wife?" nag-aalalang tanong niya saka tumagilid paharap sa akin. He cupped my faced and traced the tears that fell from my eyes. Lalo tuloy akong naiyak. Napaka-emotional ko pa naman lately.

"S—sorry, wife. It's just that I'm also worried about Hans. Pero kung ayaw mo siyang magbukod sa atin, kakausapin ko ulit siya—"

"Shhh," I whispered, silencing his lips with my forefinger.

"Masaya lang ako. Sobrang saya para kay Hans. Alam mo kung bakit?" He stared at me intently while waiting for me to continue.

"Kasi hindi man naging maganda ang nakaraan namin ni Hans ay nagkaroon naman siya ng ama na higit pa sa pinapangarap niya at nagkaroon naman ako ng asawa na walang katulad. I am forever grateful to God because He sent me the man who exceeded what I just needed. You're more than just a husband, David. You became my living hope that pulled me back to believe in Him again. Ikaw ang nagdala ng liwanag sa madilim naming nakaraan."

A small smile suddenly crept from David's lips. Still cupping my right cheek, he lowered down to give me a kiss. My eyes momentarily closed to welcome his lips. It lasted for almost a minute before he let go. It was a kiss of love, passion, and security. At sa tuwing ginagawa niya iyon ay nawawala lahat ng mga agam-agam ko sa aking sarili.

"And you are more than just a wife, my love. You're the most precious gift I've ever received from above. You know why?"

He planted me a quick kiss on the temple.

"Because your mere existence made me the happiest man alive. Not to mention that you tied yourself to me and bore my child. God, I feel like I'm above the cloud nine!"

With that, our conversation turned into an intimate session before we drifted to sleep. We both made each other remember our love and vows. David never failed to take me gently like I'm a precious crystal he doesn't want to get broken. He's always been sensually gentle.

Nagising akong wala na ang aking asawa sa aking tabi. Napangiti ako nang maalala ang nangyari kagabi. Bumangon na ako't inayos ang nagusot na bedsheet. I spent a few minutes doing my morning rituals before going out of the room.

Tinungo ko ang kuwarto ng aming anak pero wala na ito roon. Mukhang maagang nagising. Sa aming lahat ay ako ang laging tanghali na halos nagigising nitong mga nakaraang araw.

Pagkababa ko'y sumalubong sa akin ang makintab na sahig. New sets of curtains decorated our windows in the living area and the foyer. Mukhang maagang gumising sina Nanay Sol. Dumeretso ako sa komedor.

"Good morning, Mommy Queen!"

Haniel Duke's voice echoed in the whole dining area. Bumaba ito at sinalubong ako ng yakap. Lumuhod ako para magpantay ang aming mukha. Natawa ako nang ginawaran niya ako ng matunog na halik sa pisngi.

"Good morning, baby. Where's your dad and your brother? Hmm?"

"Good morning, wife..."

Nasagot ang aking tanong nang sumulpot si David mula sa kusina. May bitbit itong tray na may lamang mga preskang prutas.

"Good morning. Sorry, tinanghali ako ng gising."

He didn't respond. Instead, he placed the tray on the table and walked towards my direction. Kinabig niya ako't ginawaran ng halik sa labi. I blushed when Haniel laughed teasingly.

"It's okay. I was actually about to wake you up," he said after giving me a kiss.

"Daddy, look at Mom's face," Haniel exclaimed, pointing at me.

"Your mom is getting more beautiful especially when she's blushing, isn't she, son?" David agreed.

Pinisil ni David ang aking pisngi saka iginiya paupo sa harap ng lamesa.

"She is, Dad! That's why she's our queen, right?" Haniel added.

Napailing ako. Parang araw-araw na lang yata nila akong pinupuri.

Haniel's my first child with David. He just turned six years old two months ago. He's so intelligent at his age that he's becoming independent already. Kaya na nga niyang paliguan ang kanyang sarili at magbihis. He also chooses his clothes for himself most of the time. Kaya hindi na nahihirapan sa pagbabantay si Manang Inday sa kanya. He almost had his dad's features. Lakas ng dugo ng Bustamante, wala man lang minana sa akin.

"Where's Hans?" I asked when I settled on the seat.

Naupo sa kabisera si David. Si Haniel naman ay sa katapat kong upuan na katabi rin ni David.

"Nasa kuwadra. Pinapakain ang mga alaga niya," sagot ni David. Hindi ko maiwasang mapabuntong-hininga. Halos hindi ko na kasi nakakasabay ng agahan si Hans dahil madalas maaga pa siyang gumigising at mag-asikaso ng mga kabayo sa hacienda.

"Kailan daw ba niya balak lumipat sa condo niya?"

"Probably, next week. Sabi niya aasikasuhin niya muna ang mga credentials niya."

Consistent dean's lister din si Hans sa eskuwelahan na hindi naman nakakagulat dahil subsob nga siya sa pag-aaral. Hindi ko nga alam kung marunong siyang mamansin ng mga babae. At his age, I am already expecting that he will introduce a girlfriend to us. Pero kailanman ay wala siyang dinalang babae rito sa bahay at ipinakilala sa amin.

Kakasara lang ng klase kaya mas marami nang oras ang naigugugol ni Hans dito sa mansion. Iyon nga lang ay madalas pa niyang kasama ang mga tauhan sa hacienda at mga kabayo niya.

"Magandang umaga, Senyorita."

Biglang sumulpot si Susana mula rin sa kusina. Kakatuwa ang mga tao rito sa bahay. Parang mga kabute lang.

"Susana, pakitawag naman sina Nanay Sol at iba pa, para sabay-sabay na tayong mag-agahan."

"Sige ho, Senyorita."

Sabay-sabay kaming kumain nang dumating na iyong mga pinapatawag ko. Simula nang ipinanganak ko si Haniel ay naging maingay ang dating tahimik na mansyon. Kinagigiliwan ng lahat ang anak namin ni David. Dito na rin kami tumira sa Negros Occidental dahil wala namang mag-aasikaso nito sakaling umalis kami. David bought a vacation house in Tagaytay. Kaya sa tuwing may mga okasyon ay madalas kaming lumuluwas.

Paminsan-minsan ang pamilya nina Kuya Hugh at Kuya Gaston ay umuuwi rin dito. Ang kakambal kong si Heaven ay alam kong masaya at kontento na sa piling ng kanyang asawa. In fact, kapapanganak niya lang ulit at kambal pa. Mukhang siya ang nakamana ng genes namin na may lahing kambal.

"So what time are we leaving?" David asked as soon as we finished eating.

Napatingin ako sa malaking orasan na nakasabit sa pader.

"May dalawang oras pa tayong maghanda. Ala-una pa naman magsisimula ang program," sagot ko.

I currently work with a non-government organization here in Negros. Today, we will be launching a new project for the org. The main goal of the org is to help those abused women start a new life and give them home.

Napakasaya ko dahil suportado ni David ang aking ginagawa. In fact, he even donated a huge amount to the organization. At malaki ang naging tulong niyon para makapagpatayo kami ng mga centers at makapagbigay ng opportunities sa mga kababaihan na nangangailangan ng tulong.

Excited si Haniel na lumabas. Nauna pa nga siyang sumakay sa kotse ng daddy niya. Pinagbuksan ito ni Kuya Ismael.

"Kuya Hans, why are you still not changing your clothes? We're leaving!" aniya sa kanyang kuya nang makita niya itong paparating.

"Mauna na kayo, susunod na ako," sagot naman ni Hans.

I just sighed. Minsan naiisip kong sinasadya niyang magpatanghali sa kuwadra para hindi kami makapag-usap. Binata na nga talaga ang anak ko. Ayaw nang magpa-baby sa 'kin.

"Hans, hindi ka na naman sumabay sa breakfast kanina," puna ko.

"Sorry, Ate. Ipinasyal ko pa kasi si Percy." Ang tinutukoy niya'y ang pinakapaborito niyang kabayo.

Dati ay tutol akong tawagin niyang ate pero ang sabi ni David ay hayaan ko na lang dahil doon komportable si Hans. At sa loob ng ilang taon ay nasanay na lang din ako.

"Basta sumunod ka, ha? Para naman makalabas-labas ka sa hacienda. Simula nang magtapos ang klase ninyo puro ka na rin trabaho," dagdag ko pa. Nagkamot lang ito ng batok at tumango sa akin.

"Daddy, are we leaving?" Haniel asked again. Kanina pa niya kinukulit ang kanyang ama. Sumakay na ako pagkatapos akong pagbuksan ni David.

We settled on the backseat. Si Ismael ang nag-drive ng sasakyan. Si Mang Ramon naman ay nag-retire na pero tumutulong pa rin sa hacienda dahil nasanay na raw itong may ginagawa araw-araw.

"Daddy? Why does Kuya Hans call Mommy Queen ate? Then he calls you daddy," Hans asked out of the sudden. Napakabibong bata, hindi nauubusan ng tanong. Nagkatinginan kami ni David.

"Because he's big boy na, baby."

Ako ang sumagot.

"That means I can call you Ate as well when I grow up?" anito. Napanganga ako. Sinundot ko sa tagiliran si David nang patago para humingi ng saklolo pero tumawa lang ito at ginulo ang buhok ng aming anak. Napapagitnaan kasi namin si Haniel dito sa backseat.

"That's kinda off. I will still call you mommy when I grew up, Mom. I feel like it suits you better."

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang sinagot nito ang sarili niyang tanong. Hindi pa alam ni Haniel na half-brother niya lang si Hans. Siguro kapag nasa tamang edad na siya ay saka namin ipapaliwanag sa kanya ang lahat. Ang mahalaga naman ay mahal niya si Hans.

Nang makarating kami sa center ay marami nang mga tao. Mostly mga madre na kasama namin sa org at iba pang mga sponsors. Nakipagkumustahan kami sa kanila bago nagsimula ang programa.

I led the cutting of ribbon when my name got called. Haniel and David cheered for me and took a lot of pictures. Napaka-sweet ng mag-ama ko.

"And now, let us hear a message from our very own founder, Mrs. Hannah Pantino-Bustamante!" the master of the ceremony announced.

Umakyat ako sa stage habang nagpapalakpakan ang mga tao. Pero ang pinakamalakas na palakpak ay ang sa mag-ama ko.

"That's my Mom! I love you, Mommy!" Haniel cheered. Nakuha niya tuloy ang atensyon ng mga bisita.

Nakangiting inabot sa akin ng host ang microphone. Maingat akong umakyat sa platform.

"Thank you, everyone, for the warm introduction. Thanks as well to my son for leading the cheering squad," I started. The audience laughed.

"I would like to thank our major sponsors as well, led by no other than my husband, Senior David Bustamante." I stared at David. He smiled at me widely. I can see the adoration and happiness in his eyes.

Nagpalakpakan ulit ang audience. Mas malakas pa rin ang palakpak ni Haniel Nakakandong ito sa kanyang ama habang pinapanood akong nagsasalita sa ibabaw ng stage.

"I'm here to tell you a short story," I paused and stared in each corner of the hall then back at the center.

"It's a story of a woman who has gone through a lot of heartaches and earned a lot of bruises of abuse. Her teenage years had been stolen from her by her perpetrators forever. During those darkest days, she thought it's the end of everything. She thought she's the most unfortunate woman ever created. She thought she's been created to suffer the fangs of abuse. But also, during those days, God has sent someone to light up the torch for her to see the path again. She was wounded that even though there were lights scattered around her, she can't walk, she tried but fell several times. That even before she could reach the end of the tunnel, she passed out."

The audience became silent. They have their ears on me. I stared at my husband. Naglalaro ng cellphone si Haniel nang tingnan ko. Seryosong nakikinig naman sa akin ang aking asawa.

"When she woke up, she was in a white room. She then realized; God sent someone to carry her when she was too weak to walk on her own. At first, she refused the new home because she felt like she didn't deserve it at all. The white walls of that room reminded her that she's never pure anymore. The unscathed paint reminded her that she's too broken to be picked up. She was afraid because she might cause wounds to anyone who would pick her broken pieces."

Gumaralgal ang aking boses. Ngunit nagawa ko pa ring ngumiti.

"But God whispered to her when she was about to turn her back from the light, My child, I let you get broken because I wanted to mould you into a different person. I wanted to recreate you into a better version."

"Upon hearing that, she turned around and faced the light again. The woman that was once a victim of abuse emerged victorious. That woman married the man that God sent for her. That woman has given birth to an adorable kid. That woman is in front of you right now."

The audience clapped aloud. Maraming nagpapahid ng luha.

"We were all borne with a purpose. It's for you to find out what's yours. In our path, we may fall several times but the only way for us to end up to what has been planned for us is to light up our path with faith because, in the process, our torch of hope may run out of light. Trust the process. Trust the Creator."

This time the audience stood up and gave me a round of applause.

"Before I step down this stage, I would also like to add that the woman I talked about is bearing another fruit in her womb. A fruit of love and blessing from God."

The audience cheered and clapped even more. Nang tingnan ko si David sa kanyang kinauupuan ay nakanganga na ito kaya natawa ako.

"Yes, my dear husband. I'm pregnant again," I confirmed before giving the microphone back to the host.

Nang matauhan ay nanakbo si David pasalubong sa akin.

"Did you hear that? I'm gonna be a dad again!" he shouted then carried me bridal style.

Malakas na tili at tukso ang pumainlang sa paligid.

"Congratulations, Mr. Bustamante!" sunod-sunod na bati ng mga co-sponsors niya.

Natawa ako at tinampal siya sa dibdib.

"Ibaba mo nga ako, nakakahiya sa kanila."

"Why would you be ashamed? You should be proud. You're bearing another Bustamante again," aniya. Malapad ang kanyang ngisi. Ibinaba niay ako nang makalapit kami sa upuan.

"Is that true, Dad? I'm gonna be a brother?" Haniel asked innocently. Ginulo ko ang kanyang buhok.

"Oo, anak. Magiging kuya ka na," mahinang sagot ko.

"Yehey! I'm gonna be a brother!" Haniel jumped and hugged my thighs.

Niyakap ako ni David mula sa likod.

"I love you, wife," he whispered.

I couldn't ask for more. Napakasaya ko lalo na ngayo't madadagdagan na naman kami. Despite the unfortunate events the destiny has routed me, I still ended up with a knight-in-shining-armor. For me, my life can be retold as a fairy tale.

I have been bent and broken before I got the best shape that God has drawn for my life.

--END--

©GREATFAIRY