Percy: I was a responsible teenager.
Random guardian: Sir, didn't you get banned from the entire state of Missouri?
Percy: I wasn't a teenager yet.

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Percy: Whose turn is it to give the pep talk.
Annabeth: Clarrisse.
Clarrisse: Fuck shit up out there and don't die.
Chris, whipping away tears. : So inspirational.

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Miranda: I have horse like reflexes
Travis: Don't you mean cat-like?
Miranda: kicks Travis in the jaw

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Clarrisse: Annabeth won't come out of her tent.
Percy: Just tell her I said something.
Clarrisse: Said what?
Percy: Anything Factually incorrect
Two minutes later
Annabeth: Did you say that Lincoln was the first president!?

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Leo: I am the most responsible one in the Guard.
Annabeth: You just set the cook tents on fire.
Leo: And I take full responsibility.

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Annabeth: When I said to bring me back something from the beach I meant a seashell or cocunut.
Thalia: struggling to hold onto a seagull "You really should have been more specific."