Sally: Clarrisse, thank you. But you are no longer to babysit Estelle. 
Clarrisse: Why? 
Sally: You taught her to play fruit ninja. 
Clarrisse: So?
Sally: with an actual sword
Clarrisse: So?
Sally: She's four!

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Percy: Yo, Stolls, wake up. We have a mission. 
Travis, half asleep: Let me see your Warrent!
Conner, also half asleep: You can't prove schist!
Percy: ...Is that Sunflowers by Van Gogh?
The Stolls: No. 

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Annabeth: How many braincells did you loose when you became a god?
Percy: Bold of you to assume I had any in the first place. 

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Guardian to an automaton: Which of these pictures does not have a stop sign in it? 
Guardian: Hits an automaton with a stop sign. 

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Massive dragon breathing smoke into Percy's face: Be silent. I have not come to pass through fire and death to exchange words with a witless worm. 
Percy, blinking: Well fuck you too