I pirouette in the dark

I see the stars through a mirror

Tired mechanical heart

Beats 'til the song disappears

Somebody shine a light

I'm frozen by the fear in me

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

So cut me from the line

Dizzy, spinning endlessly

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

Shatter Me - Lindsey Stirling ft. Lzzy Hale

(A.N.: I forgot to say, it's TFP Ultra Magnus and G1 on Ravage, Frenzy and Rumble. And TFP Cliff. I own only my characters, @ginger300 owns hers. Also, the kitten used is my grandma's kitten in real life. And she's an energetic little ball of fluff, claws and teeth that Crowley wouldn't even want to deal with. Also, last update of the year! lol So without further ado, chapter 13. {C.M.}

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM (of a sort) AND MENTIONS OF ABUSE! I'm sorry but I needed to dip into Jenny's past. I'll put a warning in before it occurs.)

Gabriel stretched out and yawned. It was Friday, December the thirty-first. The last day of 2010. He smiled as he recalled the events of the last two weeks. Christmas has come and gone with nothing too big happening. With the exception of Juliet agreeing to go out with Jason. And the adorable gift exchange between Metallicar and Dean.

He was currently laying on the grass floor of Jenny's room, said woman having been scared the day before. He understood, as she had another dream starring Nexus. She had her kitten, Glitch, curled up by her but that didn't seem to help. So Gabriel, seeing her distress, volunteered to stay and protect the Cybertronian angel.

Jenny, being the sweet, caring woman she was, insisted that she'd be fine. That he stay in his room. He argued even when she demanded he take the bed while she took the floor. He glanced over to see her curled up by his side, unknowingly laying on one of his wings. He didn't mind, as she usually didn't move around much.

A sharp gasp escaped him as she burrowed closer to his side, hitting all the right nerves in his wings and sending an excited thrill through him. He groaned as she dug her fingers into the feathers.

"So soft. So warm..." She muttered. "Hmm. Gabe." She whispered, making him look to her in shock.

"Jen?" She remained asleep.

"Your wings. Soft." His breath hitched as she stretched out on the appendage. The second she rolled enough he stood, snapping out of the room.

Jenny simply remained oblivious as she slumbered on.

-

Jazz walked up behind Prowl, wrapping his arms around his waist as Prowl looked to a tiny silver chain. Hanging from the end was a dragon coiled around the brightest diamond he had ever seen, deep emerald eyes focused on him and blazing with a light all their own. "Who's is tha' spark?" He asked.

"Just someone I knew. Helped me adjust to life on Earth." He smiled. "She was a hunter. And only sixteen at the time I met her. She'd been hunting for a year already because a demon killed her parents. So I went with. I protected her and she did the same for me."

"She's the one who go 'ya inta this life?" A bolt of irritation flowed through him at this.

"Only because I insisted on it. She told me 'You get into the life, you never get out.' I didn't care. She needed a guardian." He sat back. "A few years later she tells me she's found the demon. She took off in the middle of the night. I spent a month looking for her, searching everyone. Metallicar managed to get in contact with me and tell me what she found." His voice cracked.

"Prowler?" He moved around, seeing a few tears trek down the mech's face.

"All that was left was this necklace, coated in blood and sulfur." He whispered.

"Oh Prowl." All Prowl could do was hug Jazz tight as the mech held him

-

Rumble and Frenzy cuddled up beside Sierra, the woman having just woken up to find that the twins had joined her. The woman smiled and looked to the two. They were slightly taller than her in their full sized forms. But when they interacted with her they mass-shifted, only coming up to her waist then.

"Sierra: Awake?" Soundwave asked quietly.

"Yes." She whispered, not wanting to wake up the boys. Soundwave had Laserbeak on his chest and Ravage by his side, both mass-shifted as well. Sierra chuckled a bit at the sight.

"I'm glad I get to see Beak more often now. She was so shy before." She noted, looking to Rumble as he stirred. One optic cracked open lazily and he yawned.

"Danni?" He asked, rubbing his optics. It had shocked the woman how quick they were to call her danni.

"Yes Rumble?"

"W'time issit?" She looked to the clock and then to him.

"Eight in the morning. You go back to sleep. Your opi and I have to get up." He sniffled and pouted.

"B-but danni." She smiled and sighed.

"Sounds? Can you work without me today?" He was distant and Sierra paused, knowing he was using the comm.

"Soundwave and Sierra: Have the day off."

"Yes." Rumble cheered silently, snuggling up against Sierra's side. She chuckled and hugged him a little tighter.

"Now come on spark. Let's get back to sleep."

-

Optimus smiled up at Alice before placing another small kiss to her stomach. She chuckled, given that he had found a spot that tickled slightly. "Op. I'm not even showing yet."

"That does not mean I cannot appreciate that my beautiful mate is carrying our sparkling." She smiled as he gently moved up the bed, still hovering over her. He dipped down and kissed her, feeling as her arms wound around his neck. He slipped his arm under the small of her back and pulled her closer.

"Come on love." She whispered as they parted. "We should get up."

"Why?"

"Because you already gave Soundwave the day off. We need someone in charge today."

"Metallicar can always watch everything today."

"Okay. Let me rephrase that. We need someone who's not ready to go homicidal on her ex in charge today."

"Ultra Magnus can watch things." He spoke between placing gentle kisses on her neck and shoulder. "I just was to spend today, by your side and maybe watching a few of your sappy romances." She laughed.

"Fine. But put Meta in charge. That'll really grind his gears." He chuckled and stood.

"You are an evil one Alice." She smirked. "Only when I'm feeling like it. And Op?"

"Yes sweetspark?" She sat up.

"Mind if I go see if there's any mozzarella sticks left? Those sound really good." He chuckled and nodded. "And maybe something chocolate." She mused.

"Why chocolate?" She shrugged.

"Cause it sounds good. And I get the feeling we just found out what the kid is gonna make me crave for the next six and a half months." Both of them laughed as Alice stood, giving Optimus a quick kiss before walking from the room.

He could only smile as he left as well. The serenity was shattered by an energon curdling scream. Optimus walked swiftly, seeing a sight that horrified him beyond words.

Curled up in a ball in Gabriel's arms, covered in blood and sweat, lay the broken and terrified form of Jenny.

-

An Hour Before

-

Jenny woke up and stretched, feeling the burn between her wings more than ever. Pain tore through her systems and she grimaced, pushing it back. She stood, picking up Glitchy and scratching behind her ears. She looked up and chirped, nuzzling Jenny.

"Go on glitchy. Find Gabriel and ask him for food will you? I need a shower." She kissed the kitten's forehead before setting her down. The little monster instead chose to stalk her ball through the grass, purring and attacking the fluffy object. She smiled before grabbing a change of clothes and walked into the bathroom, flipping on the light. She turned on the small stereo Gabriel had gotten her, smiling as Shatter Me came on. After a brief internal debate she put it on loop and stepped into the shower.

(Warning: Abuse mentioned and self harm.)

She winced as the water pounded on her back, running along her wings and the burnt and marred skin. She leaned on the wall, digging her nails into fissure cracks on the concrete. She glared at the stitches that completely covered her arms and legs.

Memories of Nexus flooded her mind, the feeling of the scalpel digging into her skin and making her scream in pain. She could feel the electrical shocks from every last wire that was forced under her skin, turning blood into energy and energy into energon. She grabbed a rag from the shelf and bit down on it, screaming as she fell to her knees, nails still lodged into the wall.

She whimpered as she relived the blade digging into her back while she was still tiny, forcing wires and muscles to integrate as the wings were surgically implanted. She sobbed, remembering that they didn't care about her screams of pain.

Why? Why didn't anyone come? Megatron didn't even know she was alive but Knockout did. So why didn't he save her?

She ripped the rag from her mouth and threw it across the shower stall, digging into the stitches and ripping at them. Some snapped with ease, allowing the wounds to reopen. Others tore, ripping up her skin even more.

She ignored the worried meow from the other side of the door as she tore at the stitches in her legs, pulling most of them free.

Only when she sat, soaked in blood and energon, did she stop. She took a deep breath, threw her head back and screamed.

Seconds later she stood, shaking as she walked over to stop in front of the full body mirror. She reched back between her shoulders, feeling the edges of the burn. Using every angle she could, she tore into the symbol that marred her. The symbol that could never go away.

Black spots filled her vision as she looked in the mirror, realizing exactly what she had done as she swayed. Blood dripped on the floor as footsteps rushed to the door.

"Jenny!" She knew the voice. Why? How did she know that voice?

Her vision blurred then and she collapsed, the door breaking open.

(Okay. It's over now.)

Gabriel stood over Jenny's unconscious form, thankful that Glitchy had know where he was. He grabbed a towel, uncaring of which one he grabbed as he wrapped her. He took care not to look until she was fully covered. He picked her up, carrying her outside bridal style.

Only then did he realize just how tiny she really was. Bones jabbed him and he felt that, with one wrong move he'd break her. She could shatter so easily in his arms.

He made a note to delete the song she had been listening to later, as it could easily trigger something. But for now, he focused only on ignoring others and getting her to the Med Bay.

-

Jason held Juliet as she shook, fearing for her sister. She lay where Juliet had been mere weeks before, sleeping as Ratchet managed to combine the required blood with the enegon she needed. He had spent the last two hours stitching up all the wounds, forcing everyone out as he worked. Both to allow Jenny privacy and so that there were no distractions.

Gabriel and Wheeljack were both pacing in the corner of the Rec Room, Optimus and Alice in the other corner. Everyone was worried for the newest addition to their team. Even Metallicar's twins looked worried as their creators talked. Casidy was sitting on a table, Jekyll and Hyde to either side of her. Her leg was bouncing up and down, making the brothers look to each other with worried eyes.

Jason looked up as Crowley walked in. "Crowley!" He yelled, gaining the man's attention.

"What do you want?" He snapped, making anger flare up in Jason. "Pesky kid." He turned on his heel and Jason growled. He flicked his wrist, slamming Crowley into the wall. Surprise shone in his eyes. And that's when Jason saw it.

He snagged Alice's phone and snapped a picture before looking at it. He tossed it back to her and she looked to it, her hand snapping to her belt as she stood. Optimus looked down at his mate's phone. The man's eyes weren't normal. Not as far as he had ever seen. And most certainly did not belong to Crowley.

The man in the image had reflective silvery-blue eyes.

-

Gabriel sat by Jenny's bed, finally allowed to go in as Ratchet had finished. He left Jason to his problems and was now watching Jenny. He was holding her placing a delicate kiss to the heel of her palm. "Please Jen."

"Gabe?" She groaned, wincing at the light. "Ouch." He quickly dimmed the light and she opened her eyes.

"What happened?" She turned away quickly.

"I don't know. One minute I'm enjoying my favorite song and then next.... The next I'm ripping out my stitches." He stood and sat by her, gently maneuvering her to where she was on his lap.

"It's okay Jen. It was a bunch of bad memories. Ratchet said it would happen sooner or later." She nodded a bit and then frowned.

"How did I get here though? And who dressed me?" She asked, making Gabriel blush.

"I brought you here in a blood soaked towel and then I brought in some of my more comfortable clothes after Ratchet said I could come in."

"O-oh." Her own cheeks tinged red. "Tha-thanks." She smiled up at him.

"No problem Jen." He dipped down, kissing her forehead. He lingered there for moment as she smiled and relaxed.

"So... I'm not tired." She admitted.

"Alright. What do you want to talk about?"

"Anything but what happened today." He thought for a moment before snapping his fingers.

"How about I tell you about the Mystery Spot?" She smiled and settled in, looking up at him.

"I'm all ears."

(A.N.: I am sooooo sorry! I hated writing that. It hurt my feels too. But it'll get better. I swear. ^.^ Until next year my dears. {C.M.})