ａ ｄｉｓａｐｐｅａｒｉｎｇ ａｃｔ

『 your p.o.v 』

          "Toki?"

          The navy haired boy standing in front of my hotel room's door looked to me with a blank expression. "Did I wake you?" He asked blandly.

          I glanced to the clock resting on my nightstand. "It's seven in the morning," I said as I shifted my attention back to my friend while trying to rub the fatigue out of my eyes, "did you need something?"

          "I was going to ask and see if you wanted to come with me to a radio show, but I think it would be better to let you sleep-"

          "No!" I said, suddenly much more awake as I left the door open for him to come in while I wandered over to my closet and began shuffling through my clothes. "Give me like, twenty minutes and I'll be ready to go."

          Chuckling, Tokiya closed the door behind himself as he watched me rush into the bathroom, Kuppuru casually sleeping on my bed since he somehow once again managed to sneak into my room last night without me ever noticing. "You can take your time. The show doesn't start till nine and it only takes half an hour to get to the radio station from here." He said as he walked over to sit at the small coffee table placed in the center of my hotel room.

          I paid the navy haired idol no mind as I went about changing into some decent clothes. "So I'm guessing this radio show appearance is for Hayato?" I asked from where I've left the bathroom door open just a crack, not nearly enough for him to see me but just enough so that we can still talk without our voices being too muffled beyond recognition.

          "Ichinose Tokiya is a name the world does not yet know so yes, this is for Hayato." He responded easily. "You saw me perform live with Nanami, Natsuki, and Syo, didn't you?"

          "I did! You didn't look like you were enjoying yourself at all." I said with a small laugh. "Haruka says it's because your company isn't letting you sing much to any nowadays."

          With a sigh, I vaguely heard the navy haired idol get up and move somewhere else within the main room. "That's a story for another time." He responded, sounding further away from the bathroom now, probably over somewhere near the balcony. "But I take it you didn't like the performance then..?"

          Popping my head out of the bathroom, my guess was right and he was over next to the closed balcony glass door that overlooks the ocean just outside Shining Saotome's resort. "I like Ichinose Tokiya better," I said before ducking back into the bathroom to continue getting ready, "Haruka and I could both see you weren't enjoying yourself so we left not even ten minutes into the event. To be honest with you Toki, it was painful watching you considering I'm sure you don't want to be an idol like Hayato-"

          "Don't talk as if you know about Hayato." The navy haired idol cut me off, his voice carrying a slight bite to each of his words. "I originally enjoyed singing as Hayato, he was and still is an extension of me. I'm not him and it was, it was fun being able to be someone I wasn't; someone charming and funny and everything I'm not. Now he's just some gag idol no one takes seriously..."

          I paused my hand that was running the brush through my hair. "Tokiya," I said his name as I once again popped my head out from the bathroom door and offered the idol student a warm smile, "you're already funny and charming. Like you said, Hayato is an extension of you so you possess all of those same qualities that you love about him within yourself." I continued brushing my hair now as I disappeared back into the bathroom, looking to my reflection in the large mirror and double checking my appearance considering I'm to be going out with an actual idol this time around. "Even though Hayato is someone you consider to be different from you, you are him to some degree so don't think of him as such a different person from yourself Toki, or else you'll never learn to be your own person and will forever just live in Hayato's shadow."

          The navy haired idol didn't say anything more as I finished getting ready in silence. Surprisingly, the silence somehow didn't feel strained, it was simply, quiet. Like our conversation died down into nothing and neither of us particularly minded it.

          By the time I finished getting ready, Kuppuru had made himself comfortable sitting in front of Tokiya who was just casually sitting at the small coffee table and scrolling away on his phone, not paying the black feline on the table any mind. I couldn't help but to laugh when Kuppuru curiously swiped at the navy haired idols phone, nearly knocking it out of his grasp. "Do that one more time and I'm locking you outside on the balcony." Tokiya said, glancing up to the black cat with narrowed eyes.

          Hissing, Kuppuru lept off the coffee table and wandered his way over to me where he brushed up against my leg, large emerald green eyes looking up at me innocently. "Oh don't come over to me because you were being bad." I said to him with a small laugh, crouching down to gently pet his head just behind his ears. "You need to learn to be nicer to my friends Kuppuru, otherwise they're all going to hate you."

          "I don't like cat's anyways."

          "Don't be mean to my Kuppuru."

          "He started it." Tokiya scoffed, putting his phone into sleep mode as he stood up from the wooden chair, brushing down his clothes to make sure there are no wrinkles in sight. "Anyways, are you ready now? We can grab some breakfast on the way out if you'd like?"

          I offered the navy haired idol a bright smile as I stood back up and gently nudged Kuppuru with my foot as he tried to paw at my legs some as to keep my attention all for himself. "They have some to-go items down in the dining hall so let's stop there before we leave. Do I need my laptop?"

          Tokiya looked to me with a slightly confused expression, something surprisingly different from his usual void emotionless expression or that one look he gets when he's utterly done with everyone around him. "Do you plan on composing while we're at the radio station?"

          Shrugging, I went ahead and grabbed my laptop from off the nearby dresser. "You never know when inspiration will strike Toki.~"

          Chuckling, the two of us made out way out the front door to my hotel room, Kuppuru watching us leave from where he's claimed a spot on my bed. "You're truly one of a kind." Tokiya said as he shook his head. "Only someone dedicated to their work would think of bringing their laptop to a radio studio."

          "Somone needs to compose your future songs so wouldn't you want me to be dedicated to my composing?" I responded with ease.

          "How are you and Kotobuki Reiji siblings?"

          "Rei-chan works just as hard as I do so don't even."

          I couldn't help but to laugh as Tokiya recounted the amount of times him and Reiji have been starred together on shows only for the brunette to constantly goof off backstage and make jokes out of everything. Though, unlike the other Quartet Night members, Tokiya did give him some credit for always taking his work seriously despite finding time to play around and keep the mood airy and light-hearted. He even said that Reiji's upbeat attitude is what he pulled inspiration from when he was trying to truly pinpoint Hayato's personality which is probably why him and Reiji get along so well in the idol business. Two upbeat personalities are bound to get along, though I can't help but wonder what it will be like when Reiji and Tokiya talk after Hayato is gone.

          With our breakfast snacks in hand, Tokiya led me outside of the resort to the taxi he had called for us not long after we got down into the dining hall. I thanked him as he opened the door for me to get in. And people say this navy haired boy is nothing but mean- just look! He was nice and opened and closed the car door for me, what a gentleman.

          "Your laptop," Tokiya spoke up once we had been in the taxi for about five minutes now, the two of us sitting side by side in the backseats as the driver quietly drives us to the radio station, "why is it you always opt to carry it around instead of just putting it in some sort of case or a bag? Wouldn't that make it easier to bring it with you from location to location?" He asked curiously.

          I thought for a moment as I finished a bite of my breakfast burrito. "Well, I feel most comfortable when I can see and feel it. If I don't know where my laptop is, even if it's just in a bag, I'll grow anxious and panic."

          Tokiya looked to me even more confused than just a second ago. "But you can leave it in your room without any problems? I don't understand why some laptop is so important to you."

          Glancing down to my laptop, I vaguely remembered the day I was given this as a present from my mother a little before my fifth birthday. "When I was young, my mother gave me this laptop." I explained. "It wasn't long after that that she passed away in a car accident and I was placed in the orphanage's system. I wasn't allowed to bring anything else to the orphanage from my home so this is the only item I have that links me to her."

          "I'm sorry to hear that you lost your mother..." The idol sitting beside me murmured, looking slightly unsure of what to say.

          I offered him a reassuring smile. "No need to apologize, what's in the past is in the past so don't worry about it. I just love my laptop a little too much for my own good I guess." I then joked before taking another bite of my breakfast burrito.

          Shaking his head, the idol beside me took a quick sip of his water. "It's weird to see someone afflicted with such a sad past always being so happy." He noted.

          "What's the point in always being sad?" I then asked. "I've shed enough tears to last me a lifetime and I've more or less gotten over my mother's death since I have Otoya. Besides, with moody people like you in the world, I couldn't possibly allow myself to be yet another debby-downer now could I?"

          "I am not a moody person." Tokiya scoffed.

          Giggling, I patted his thigh. "Sure you're not, Toki. You scowling all the time and giving out backhanded compliments if not straight insults has absolutely nothing to do with you being a moody person."

          "Please remind me again why I invited you out this once fine morning?"

          "That was your mistake, not mine."

          Soon enough the two of us arrived at the radio station and almost immediately we were met with a surprising amount of fans waiting outside near the entrance. Staff had to come out and keep the fans back as "Hayato" and I made our way inside. I wasn't expecting for there to be that many fans waiting outside for Tokiya in all honesty after hearing what Haruka said about Hayato no longer being as popular for his singing. But, I guess his acting and on-stage persona is all he needs to remain quite popular what with having fans willing to wait outside early in the morning just to catch a glimpse of this famous idol.

          I was seated inside the producer room that overlooks the recording area for the radio show, plenty of mixing boards and the such laid out before the skilled technicians while I kept to myself near the back of the room. The staff was very kind in me showing up more or less unannounced and allowed me to stay in this room so that I could listen in on the radio show. I'll have to ask Tokiya to thank them on my behalf after the show since I'm not exactly sure on who I'd need to thank for letting me sit and listen to my friend's radio show appearance... I'm really out of my element here in case you haven't noticed.

          Tuning in and out of the radio show, I listened a bit to Tokiya's answers as he spoke to the radio show host in a much more upbeat and warm voice, his entire personality as Hayato being quite the change from the Ichinose Tokiya I'm used to being with every day.

          "So what exactly is it you're hoping for your next project to be?" The radio show host had asked.

          Tokiya pretended to think for a moment, humming some to himself as he thought on how to answer this question. "I'm really hoping to release a new single!" He settled on responding with, a bright and charming smile gracing his handsome features. "Anything to make my beautiful and loving fans happy.~" He then cooed.

          With my hands resting on top of my closed laptop, I continued to tune in and out of the show as my thoughts wandered onto just what could have made Tokiya decided to become an idol in the first place.

          It's evident to see that he likes performing so I can only assume that that's one of the driving forces to what lead him down this path, though that leaves the question of why he doesn't want to be known as Hayato anymore? Could it be because he's turned into more of a comedic stage idol rather than a singing idol? But if Tokiya likes to perform then performing as Hayato wouldn't be a problem.

          So that can't be it.

          Maybe he's similar to Otoya in that he wants to sing in order to bring smiles to everyone who listens to his songs and to make their days just a little bit better if he can. I could see Tokiya falling under that category quite easily in all honesty. Most idols nowadays, just as Ringo had said, aren't exactly in this entertainment industry for the sole reason of bringing joy to their fans but rather seeking fame for themselves so Tokiya, as well as Otoya and our other friends, would be considered just as much of a rarity as myself in that regard.

          I opened my laptop near the halfway point of Hayato's radio show interview, a couple of questions about me popping up here and there as the radio show host tried to ask Tokiya if I was his girlfriend only for my navy haired friend to make up the excuse that I'm his manager. Gotta hand it to him, Tokiya is pretty good at coming up with excuses on short notice.

          Almost on autopilot now, I opened up a new project in my composing program and titled it "Believe my Voice". Tokiya wants to sing and he's at Saotome to get that opportunity and I want to help him any way I can. If he wants to sing as Ichinose Tokiya, then I'll make a song his Hayato fans won't be able to hate! I want my friend to sing honestly and to no longer be put under the pressure for him to perform well as this Hayato persona his company has forced him into. Maybe if he ends up liking this song, he'll actually write lyrics for it and accept this as a present from me to him. Now I can only hope I'll have some time to work on Tokiya's song considering I still need to finish my three songs for Ren and Masato's duet project along with doing some research into the Quartet Night members in order to also compose their debut song all before the end of this vacation which is in a little over two weeks now.

          If only there were multiple of me to go around, then completing all of these projects at once wouldn't be nearly as difficult and taxing as they are...

          Once we were back in the taxi shortly after the radio show had ended, I couldn't help but notice the small smile tugging at the corners of Tokiya's lips as we watched his fans wave goodbye to him as we drove away. He stayed behind a couple of extra minutes to sign posters and cd's and to take pictures with them so his fans were very happy to say the least and I guess that made him happy as well. A kind idol who wants his fans to like him for him... I wonder if Tokiya's nervous about one day debuting under his own name and leaving behind Hayato for good?

          "You ended up composing during my interview, didn't you?" The navy haired idol asked, never once taking his eyes off the window as we pass by large buildings with the sun fully risen up into the clear blue sky by now. "What were you working on?"

          "Like I said earlier Toki, you never know when inspiration is going to strike," I mused, "so I started composing something top secret that you're not allowed to know about until it's finished."

          Glancing to me with his crystal blue eyes, Tokiya scoffed. "Don't give yourself more work than you have to."

          "It's no trouble to compose one more song."

          "Sure it's not."

          Sticking my tongue out playfully, I gently patted my laptop. "If I put my mind to it, I can achieve anything! And besides, I'm composing songs for the people I hold dear to my heart so I want to do this." I then murmured as I glanced down to the piece of technology that's been with me for over a decade now. "Anything to make my friends happy."

          Tokiya was silent for a moment before he chuckled. "If you say so. How did you like the interview? Do you prefer Hayato over myself now that you've seen him up close and in action?"

          Looking back up to the navy haired idol student, I couldn't help but to laugh at the small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Hayato is a nice and charming and a funny guy, just like you said he is, but I think I still prefer the Ichinose Tokiya sitting with me now over him."

          The boy sitting beside me shook his head. "You're insane for putting up with me."

          "You saw what Ren put me through this last month or so and I didn't give up on him," I reasoned, "so I doubt there's anything you could do that would make me give up on you."

          Tokiya's eyes met mine for a split second before he shook his head once more and looked back out the window, me smiling triumphantly as a calm and comfortable silence fell around us.

          The warm ocean breeze blew past as I sat near the edge of the docks once again, this more or less becoming my usual composing place while we've been here in Okinawa. I looked out to the wide expense of the beach to my right and smiled as I saw Masato and Ren lounging on some towels under a singular large beach umbrella far off in the distance while Otoya swam with Syo and Natsuki out in the ocean. Tokiya said he'd be down soon to start writing lyrics to one of his duet project songs while I composed some more so it's only a matter of time before he comes down to join me on the docks. Though I'm surprised Kuppuru hasn't come down too. Usually he's the first to pop up long before even my future idols make their first appearances of the evening.

          Since I had my headphones on by now, I couldn't hear the footsteps as a small group of students approached me from behind on the docks, though I could feel their feet connecting with the wood as they grew closer and closer. Taking my headphones off to rest around my neck, I didn't bother looking behind me since I have a pretty good idea of who has come to confront me. It's been a long time coming if you consider what happened in the classroom months ago and all the constant gossip that's yet to calm down in the slightest bit that's still running rampant throughout Saotome Academy.

          "How long are you going to keep up this nice girl act?" One of the three composer students asked, that one being the one I remember saying I only got into Saotome through my connections with Reiji, Ringo, and Ryuuya the day I walked into class only to find all those harsh and cruel things written on the chalkboard about me, everything put on full display for the entire class to see that morning.

          "It's getting annoying how you keep getting the top scores on everything just because you're friends with the teachers." An idol student then said, his voice belonging to one I've seen gossiping about me quite a lot recently.

          "And it's bad enough that you already get the highest marks on your songs, but now you're working with two of the most famous people here for this duet project?" The posh composer who asked why I had gotten to work with Natsuki and Syo right before our second project started then asked, his voice still holding all the same malice and anger now as it did then. "Just who the hell do you think you are?"

          I glanced over my shoulder to the three guys, my friends off in the distance still not noticing my new "companions" just yet. "Who do I think I am? Someone who works hard instead of always complaining about how inadequate I am." I responded without a second of hesitation. "If you want better grades, then work for them. Nothing in this world is free after all."

          The posh composer student scoffed. "You think you're all high and mighty just because your brother is a famous idol and your the teacher's pet, don't you?" He asked spitefully. "And it's all because of that stupid laptop that you're getting so far ahead of the rest of us."

          In a split second, my laptop was suddenly snatched right from where it sat on my lap, my heart momentarily stopping as my eyes widened. "Give me that back." I said, scurrying to my feet. "I don't care how much you hate me but please just give me that back."

          "You're going to beg now?" The other composer student asked with a wicked smirk. "That's cute, why don't you learn how to play the piano like the rest of us instead of taking digital shortcuts."

          I didn't get the chance to say a thing in protest before my laptop was launched high over my head and directly into the beautiful crystal blue waters of the ocean behind me. My stomach dropped as I turned to watch the large splash create almost a rainbow effect in the air just above the surface of the water, my laptop disappearing down into the depths without any indications of it resurfacing on its own.

          Falling to my knees, I hurried to the edge of the docks and looked out into the ocean. I can't swim so I can't go after it. I'll drown if I try. But that's my laptop, the last thing I have of her. I can't let it go just like this. There has to be something I can do to get it back. I don't care if I drown- I need my laptop. I need her.

          The idol student laughed at my pitiful state as tears began to trickle down my cheeks, my body going frigid as anxiety slowly began to set in. "Look at you, how pathetic." He spat.

          "If you love that precious laptop of yours so much, why not go and get it?" The pompous idol student asked from behind me, a hard kick landing on my back and making me scream out in pain as I was pushed over the edge of the docks without a second thought.

          It felt almost as if I was falling in slow motion as I heard my name called out from afar, the voice sounding strangely like Tokiya's. I stared up into the sky as I was flipped on my descent downwards, my back slamming into the hard surface of the ocean before I inevitably began to sink under the cold water, my body still with fear and panic coursing through my veins as my heart hammered against my chest, every beat ringing loudly in my ears as I watched sunlight dance across the water from underneath it's surface in a myriad of shapes.

          My lungs began to burn the longer I struggled to hold my breath. No matter how hard I tried to move, I was frozen solid almost like a statue, the sunlight beginning to dim as my eyesight starts to fade. I could vaguely hear voices beginning to resound from above the surface of the water, but I was already sinking too deep into the ocean to possibly try and make out who was who.

          What am I supposed to do now? I have songs I need to finish for my friends and for Quartet Night- I can't go letting them down like this. But my laptop, it's gone just like mom and I guess just like me. Maybe this is how Aine felt when he disappeared.

          Nothing but a freezing cold in the pit of his stomach as he disappeared without a trace left behind...

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          I dunno why but I always get serious writer's block while writing for Toki like it's worse than the writer's block I used to get while writing for Otoyan and Ochibichan ;-;;;;;

          Question of the Chapter: Now that the protagonist has lost her laptop, do you think she's still going to continue composing..? And do you think she'll be alright after this whole ordeal passes by? tbh I was waiting for me to write something like this where the other jealous students go too far and do something truly stupid. In all honesty, I'm not really sure what's exactly going to pan out from this point forward so we'll see what my brain decides to write for the upcoming chapters lul

          Highkey can't believe I brought up Aine at the last second like that holy hell what am I doing with this fic xD everything is just an emotional rollercoaster of "uh-oh let's not do that" and then I do it anyways lmao.

          On the bright side, we got a cute mainly Toki centric chapter for the underloved boi of this here fanfic xD without a doubt he's the one with the least amount of cute moments so far (sorry not sorry toki considering you are the main love interest in the anime and everyone else needs a chance to shine) but hopefully now that MasaRen are going to be more on the sideline for a bit, I can write more for Tokiya and have him not be as much of a side character anymore :3

          As always, I love each and every last one of you lovely cuties and thanks so much for taking the time to read this chapter <3

~ ｋａｔ ♡

p.s. listening to aiai's "ムネノコドウ" (mune no kodou) was clearly a mistake for this last part since I drew some inspiration from Aine for the whole drowning bit lmao w h o o p s (and editing while listening to Natsuki's "Tears in Love" isn't helping either xD)