ｆｏｕｎｄ

『 your p.o.v 』

          Sitting across from the green eyed blonde, I lazily clicked at my laptops keys, adding notes here and there to the composition I'm working on. Natsuki lightly tapped the end of his pen against the small table we decided to claim as our's near the back of this little cafe Reiji often raves about. We figured coming here would help us clear our minds some and get a bit of work done, but realistically, it looks like neither of us are going to get very far in our work right now.

          Glancing over the top of my laptop, I smiled some as I watched Natsuki struggle to think of how to continue his lyrics. "You're stuck too?" I asked.

          "How'd you know?" The handsome blonde responded with a soft laugh. "These lyrics are due tomorrow in class and I can't get past this one part for the life of me."

          "I say we take a break. How about we order something for ourselves so we can try and reset before working some more?" I asked.

          Natsuki didn't have to be asked twice, the tall blonde already getting up and heading straight for the front counter. The two of us often stay up late a lot of nights and will run into each other in one of the school's lounges so he knows what I'd want right about now. He'll order me my favorite hot chocolate from this place while he grabs himself some tea along with a large platter of chocolate chip cookies for us to munch on while we talk.

          Glancing to my left, I looked out the window and out to the street. I remember when I came here with Masato and Ren way back when we were first discussing plans for me to compose their duet. Wow, that feels like an eternity ago. All of the drama surrounding Ren only ended at most a few weeks ago and yet, it feels like it could have been years since I was stressed out about possibly losing him. I'm just glad everything sorted itself out for the time being. I have enough to worry about with Quartet Night and the upcoming graduation auditions, I don't need any more childish drama for at least right now.

          I sighed as I watched cars go by this small cozy cafe. Even with things going better now in terms of everyone's friendships with one another, I still feel so stressed. I doubt I'll ever just be calm. There's always going to be songs to compose, idols to look after, and competition to be warry of. I won't get a break until I leave this industry behind probably. But, that's okay. I get to watch my friends grow into amazing idols over the upcoming years and I couldn't ask for anything better.

          "Cookies are here.~" Natsuki sang as he happily placed a platter of chocolate chip cookies down in the center of our table, a waitress following closely behind him to give us our drinks to which we both thanked her for.

          Grabbing a cookie, Natsuki took a big bite before closing his eyes in delight. "These taste amazing! Here, try a bite ___-chan." He said, holding the cookie out over the table for me to take a bite of.

          Feeling my cheeks heat up some, I leaned over the table ever so slightly and took a bite from his cookie, the rich tasting chocolate instantly taking over my senses. "These are great." I agreed.

          "Right?" The blonde said with a bright smile. "I love coming here to eat amazing sweets. They taste even better with you here to share them with me."

          "You're too sweet."

          "Just like these cookies!"

          I couldn't help but laugh at that. "Just like these cookies." I agreed. "I'm glad we decided to come here today Natsuki."

          The green eyed blonde's eyes crinkled some as he smiled. "I'm glad we decided to come here too! I miss spending time with you ___-chan and so does Satsu-chan but he'd never admit it."

          "Even though I only met him once?" I asked before taking a bite of my own cookie.

          "Satsu-chan can hear and see what I do, but when he comes out, I go to sleep it feels like so he knows you just like I do." Natsuki explained. "He seems to like you since when we're together, we just talk and relax and he likes it when I'm not stressed or in bad situations."

          I slowly nodded as I tried to take in his words. "I see. So Satsuki likes me because I don't cause trouble?" I asked with an amused grin.

          The blonde sitting across from me shrugged. "That's how I see it, but Satsu-chan has his own way of coming to his own conclusions on whose a good person and who isn't."

          "Why is Satsuki even here? If you don't mind me asking."

          For a split second, Natsuki's usually warm eyes turned cold before returning to normal once more. "I don't really know. He says he's protecting me but he never explains what he's protecting me from. Satsu-chan isn't a bad person though so I trust him."

          "As long as you trust him then he's fine in my book. Just ask him to stop trying to kill our friends." I said with a smile before taking a sip of my hot chocolate.

          The tall idol student chuckled some. "That's just Satsu-chan's way of showing he loves Syo-chan and the others."

          "So nearly drowning them in Okinawa was out of love?"

          "Of course!"

          "Ah, speaking of Syo, I remember you said that you and Syo used to live in France for a short time when you were younger. Why were you living there in the first place?" I asked, shifting the conversation some so we don't fall into a dull silence. It's rare I get any time to just sit with Natsuki and talk and I don't want to let this moment go to waste.

          Natsuki thought for a moment before answering. "When we were younger, Syo-chan and I used to compete in violin competitions and so our families decided to move us to France to better compete on a world stage. I guess you could say we were prodigies." The tall blonde chuckled while sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck.

          My eyes widened. "You guys were that good? That's amazing! I get why Syo had to stop playing as competitively what with his heart condition and all, but what made you stop playing?"

          Things got quiet for a few minutes as Natsuki struggled to find the answer to that question. His eyes flashed darker for mere seconds every time he dug a little deeper into his thoughts. "You know, I honestly can't remember. Syo-chan came back to Japan and I came back a little after he did, but I didn't stop playing my violin until after we had come back and were settled in for almost a full year. But for the life of me, I can't remember just why I stopped playing." He sighed and then took another bite of his cookie. "Satsu-chan popped up not long after that so he could probably tell me- but Satsu-chan doesn't like to tell me things about our past. If I can't remember it, he normally just says it's for the better and we move on from there."

          So Satsuki is protecting Natsuki from remembering something then...

          "I'm sure Satsuki will tell you about it when he feels you're ready to handle it." I said with a soft smile. "He just wants the best for you after all."

          "Yeah, but it's not that fun knowing you're forgetting something important. It's right there on the tip of my memories, and then it's just gone like it was only an echo of a random dream I had once in a blue moon ages ago and now I can't remember it." Natsuki said, his shoulders slouching some as he looks down to his lyrics. "Sometimes, I wish I could just remember instead of having to be protected by Satsu-chan and Syo-chan all the time."

          "You'll get there Natsuki, I'm sure of it."

          Warm green eyes met my own and I couldn't help but smile when he smiled at me. "With you by my side ___-chan, I can get anywhere."

          Just as I was fixing to respond, my phone suddenly started buzzing on the table. I was going to silence it considering I rarely get to spend time with Natsuki like this, but when I saw the caller ID, I offered the handsome blonde sitting across from me an apologetic smile as I stepped outside the cafe to answer the call.

          "I have news of your laptop." AI said as the harsh winter wind nipped at my skin some even through Reiji's jacket. "I was expecting for one of the faculty members to be behind the disappearance of your laptop, but it appears that one of the other students was the culprit."

          I wrapped my free arm around my waist in a vain attempt to try and retain some warmth. "How do you know?"

          "It took some work but I managed to track your laptops signal and pinpoint it to a dorm room number within the girl's section of Saotome Academy. Room one-eight-two as shown by my map of the school. Though I have no information on who is currently occupying that room." The teal haired idol on the other end of the line said.

          "One-eighty-two..." I repeated softly under my breath. That room is a few hallways down from mine, Haruka, and Tomo-chan's dorm room. "Okay, thanks AI, I don't know what I'd do without you."

          "Most probably get yourself into more trouble." He responded lamely.

          "You have no faith in me I swear."

          "You would be correct to an extent in believing that."

          Scoffing, I shook my head with a smile dancing across my lips. "Anyways, thanks again. Oh! How's your lyrics coming along for your solo song?" I then asked.

          "They're nearly finished already." He responded without a hint of emotion. "Let's not change the subject though. What do you intend to do with the knowledge of knowing where your laptop is?"

          I thought for a moment before shrugging despite him not being able to see my actions. "I don't know. I'll probably just go over and ask for it back. What's the worst that could happen? They tell me no?" I mused.

          The teal haired idol seemed less than amused with that response. "You should wait to confront whoever stole your laptop until Ringo or Ryuuya are there to make sure nothing goes wrong."

          "I'm old enough to take care of myself, AI." I reminded. "I don't need those two to watch over me like the hawks they are."

          "Yes, but I don't need to listen to Reiji worry about you if something goes wrong."

          "I'll handle this AI."

          There was a pause before he responded. "I see. If you're sure of yourself then do as you wish. All I ask is that you text me later tonight so that I know you're fine."

          A smile tugged at the corners of my lips at that. "Oh? Is this your way of caring about me?"

          "I don't care about anyone." He responded with a bored tone. "If you don't text me by tomorrow morning, I'm calling Ryuuya."

          And with that, the line went dead.

          Shaking my head some, I made my way back inside into the warm cafe. Natsuki was back to writing his lyrics as I took my seat across from his. We talked a little bit more about his lyrics and what he wants his solo song to sound like. And then we were back to quietly doing our own things, him writing lyrics while I reopened Otoya's solo so I could compose the main melody now. I just hope we can do this more often in the future. It's nice being able to compose with someone else here to keep me company.

          Even if we don't talk for the next few hours, this is still nice. Natsuki is great company after all. He's pretty calm, loves his tea and sweets, and doesn't mind the fact that I'm more times than not working on my compositions. When he said a while back that he wouldn't mind just sitting with me, he wasn't lying.

          He's truly a sweetheart.

          Dropping the new laptop Ringo had bought me a few days ago off in my dorm room, I then left the room to go off in search of my missing laptop. AI had said that my laptop is in room one-eighty-two and I have absolutely no idea who's rooming there. For all I know, it could be one of the S-Class students who are always glaring at me in the hallways. On the bright side though, if he was able to track my laptop to this room, then it means they haven't gone and brought a sledgehammer down on top of it. Hopefully my laptop really is all in one piece. I don't know how I'd explain this to Reiji and the others if this laptop was broken beyond repair after AI had said he was repairing it...

          I took a few turns down a couple of different hallways, going further and further from my dorm room. Tomo-chan had asked where I was headed off to after spending most of the day out with Natsuki and all I could do was lie and tell her I was meeting with Ryuuya in the teacher's lounge. Judging by the look she gave me while I was walking out though, I'm more than positive she could see through my lie with ease.

          Soon enough the door numbered one-eighty-two came into view. I inhaled a deep breath before exhaling it, trying to push back my nerves as I approached the door. Maybe I should listen to AI and go and get Ryuuya- no, I don't have to rely on them for everything. I can do this.

          I'm strong like my friends are.

          Lifting my hand, I knocked on the door and shifted my weight from one heel to the other as I waited for someone to come and open up. Though when the door finally opened, I was more than surprised at the girl I saw standing there.

          "___?" She said my name with widened eyes. "Um, what are you doing here?" She then asked with a sweet smile that was just a little too forced to be natural.

          "Shizu, I believe you have something of mine. Did you take my laptop from the practice room a few nights ago?" I asked in return.

          Her smile quickly fell at that as she stepped aside to let me in. "Oh gosh- I'm so sorry about all this, I shouldn't have taken it." She caved instantly, hurrying over to her desk and picking up my sticker-covered laptop as I closed the door to her dorm room behind myself. She doesn't have a roommate from the looks of it. Or at least if she did, they must have been one of the ones who dropped out a while ago. "I just, I didn't... Here, I didn't even open it."

          Seeing the guilty look plastered across her face as she gently handed me my laptop had me more confused than anything. "Shizu, why did you take it in the first place? How did you even manage to unlock the door to the practice room?"

          "I'll explain everything, please, sit." She said, taking a seat on her bed and patting the empty spot beside her.

          Feeling no ill-intent behind her words, I went ahead and sat down. She's a sweet girl, really. "I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting for you to be the one who took my laptop." I said with a small laugh. "Is everything alright?"

          The cute composer shook her head as she looked down to where she has her hands balled up at the ends of her skirt just over her knees. "No, I, I shouldn't have taken your laptop. I'm so sorry for doing that to you. The second I took it, I regretted it and I've been trying to think up of ways to give it back to you without making you my enemy."

          "Well, why did you take it? I'm not angry or anything seeing as you didn't break it." I said with a gentle smile.

          Her shoulders slouched some as she caved in on herself. "It's just, when you came along, Ren stopped being my idol..." She murmured softly.

          Oh, that's right. Back when we first entered Saotome, Shizu was originally Ren's composer. He knew she started to fall for him and yet he'd flirt with her like he would all the other girls. Honestly, I don't want to say I felt bad for her, but I kind of did. There was no pity there from me at least. I just felt bad that she was falling for a guy who's incapable of probably ever liking her back; at least under these circumstances.

          "Is it really just because I'm now Ren's composer that you decided to take my laptop?" I asked gently.

          Her eyes widened ever so slightly as she looked to me. "I- I don't know what you mean by that." She stuttered out.

          I offered her a reassuring smile. "I know you started to like him and that's alright Shizu. Ren and I aren't dating or anything, we're just friends so you don't have to act like you don't feel anything towards him just because I'm here."

          "I don't understand. Everything between Ren and I was going alright until he began skipping class. Then things weren't so good and he was being really flirtatious towards the other girls." Shizu said with her words coming out quickly as she recounted what went on for a few months leading up to the Okinawa trip. "He would only talk to me when no one else was around and he'd say the sweetest things. I thought, I thought that maybe there was something there, you know? He was just so, so..."

          "I get it." I responded with a small laugh. "Ren has a way of making anyone he talks to feel special it's scary. If you're not careful, you will easily get hung up on him for days, weeks, months even."

          Shizu nodded in agreement. "Exactly. I fell in love with him over these long months we've been in school. But now that he's your idol, I can't get close enough to talk to him at all. The most he does now is smile to me in the hallways and offer me a wave or a wink when we're in class or at lunch and he catches me looking at him. I can't remember the last time we talked..."

          My chest panged with slight pain at seeing the hurt behind her eyes. She's such a beautiful and kindhearted girl that I can't bring myself to be upset with her over this whole laptop ordeal. She's in love with an idol who will never truly give her the time of day; at least, not for the time being. How could I possibly be mad at her?

          "Shizu, if you want, you're welcome to come and eat lunch with us if that will help anything?" I offered, my smile softening when she looked to me warily. "I know we were never really friends or anything and you must see me as a rival in the sense that I'm close to Ren like you want to be, but I don't hold any ill-feelings towards you. And Ren and I aren't seeing each other in the least bit so if you want to try and be his friend along with all of ours, I'm sure everyone would welcome you with open arms."

          The cute girl blinked a few times as she took in my words. "You're seriously offering me to hang out with all of you? This isn't some cruel joke, is it?"

          "Of course not! Haruka and Tomo-chan would love you and I'm sure Natsuki and Masato and Otoya would want to get to know you just like Syo and Tokiya and Ren do. But, I understand if you wouldn't want to join us at lunch and stuff too. I mean, the guy you like, well, Ren isn't the type to open himself up to just anyone." I said as my smile faltered.

          Sighing, Shizu flopped back to lie down on her bed, her arms splayed out just as her long hair is. "I can see that Ren wasn't happy back when I first started composing for him. And when he started skipping class, he looked even sadder. Nothing I did could make him smile no matter how hard I tried." She said softly. "But then you came along and you just kept pushing and pushing until he finally listened to what you had to say and now he's much happier again and talking with everyone- he's like someone entirely different now but in a good, no, amazing way. I'm not sure I want to get close to him when things are going so well for all of you."

          "If you ever want to come and hang out with us, the offer is always up on the table. I'll introduce you to everyone and we can go and compose together somewhere quiet if you want to too."

          "You're too nice to me considering I stole your laptop."

          I shrugged some as I smiled down at her. "Hey, you're not a bad person Shizu. You just made a bad mistake and let your emotions get the better of you for a moment, that's all. No harm done so there's no reason for me to be upset with you. And as for Ren, I say you try and talk to him sometime. He might be open to you two really being friends this time around and who knows what will happen from there."

          Pushing herself to sit up again, Shizu looked to me with a genuine smile dancing across her lips. "You know ___, you really are a good person."

          "I'm just someone with too much work on her hands." I mused. "Anyways, it's getting a little late now so I should be heading back to my room. Haruka and Tomo-chan are probably trying to kill our cat right about now..."

          Shizu's eyes widened a bit. "You guys have a cat?" She asked. "Oh I love cat's!"

          "If Kuppuru ever shows up, I'll be sure to introduce you to him sometime. He's more of an outdoor cat so I'm sure you'll see him eventually if you haven't already." I promised as I got up off her bed and headed for the door to her room. "Goodnight Shizu! See you tomorrow in class."

          "Goodnight and ___?" She spoke up just as I was fixing to open the door. I glanced over my shoulder to her and felt my chest warm up at seeing such a relieved smile gracing her features. "Thank you for being so understanding and not being upset. I'll try and join you guys for lunch sometime when I'm ready."

          "We'd be happy to have you!"

          Closing the door to her room with a soft click, I exhaled a small sigh I hadn't even realized I'd been holding as I held my laptop close to my chest. I'm so unbelievably glad to have gotten this laptop back. Nothing bad happened to me, to my beloved piece of technology, and now I don't have to tell anyone about Shizu taking it. This little conversation of our's can stay just between her and I.

          It'll be our little secret.

          Walking down the hallway, I made my way back to my dorm room. It really is getting late now. I hadn't even realized how long Shizu and I had been talking for. It must have been at least an hour or two that I was in there chatting with her and already the moon is high up in the night sky. I'm glad we talked though. Hopefully now she'll be able to start working through her feelings concerning Ren...

          Just outside my dorm's door was a small bouquet of roses, just lying flush against the wall as to not be in the way of any passerby's. The roses were all a deep crimson color and, surprisingly, the card stuffed inside the bouquet was addressed to me but had no name as to who sent it.

          "Who gave you those?" Haruka asked as I walked into our room with the bouquet and my laptop hugged to my chest with one hand while I used the other to close the door behind me.

          "That's one perdy bouquet." Tomo-chan tacked on with a wicked grin. "I wonder which one of your idols gave you this one."

          Setting down my sticker-covered laptop beside the one Ringo had bought me, I held the bouquet out in front of me with both hands and looked at them for a moment before glancing to my roommates. "I have no idea who gave me these. They were just outside with a card saying they're for me, but no name saying who they're from."

          The pink haired composer lying down on her girlfriend's bed giggled some. "I think maybe Otoya gave you them."

          "Oh that's a good guess," Tomo-chan agreed, "but my bet is on Tokiya- or maybe Ren since he's such a flirt."

          Shaking my head at their antics, I found a spare bow of mine mom had given me and unraveled it so I just had a long strand of ribbon. Tying it around the stem of the bouquet, I went ahead and held the bouquet upside down as I hung it from the corner to the backboard of my bed. "Well, I guess only time will tell when someone fesses up to leaving them for me."

          "What if it wasn't Otoya and instead it was Masato?"

          "Or shorty could have given it to her."

          "Or Natsuki!"

          "Or maybe, it was Ryuuya or Ringo."

          Both Haruka and Tomo-chan looked to me with shocked expressions and I couldn't help but laugh at their absolute absurdity. "Oh shut up you two! The both of you are having far too much fun with this." I said with an added shake of my head, the three of us getting caught up in some late night gossiping as we usually do when instead of going to bed like a bunch of sane almost-adults, we decide that a sleepover is much more important than any amount of sleep we could possibly get.

————————

          Ha bet none of ya were expecting for Shizu to actually be relevant to the story now were ya? x3 and finally we got some quality time with Natsuki (bless the high heavens for that one)

          Question of the Chapter: Who do you think decided to bring the dear protagonist the bouquet of crimson red roses? (the color has nothing to do with the person who brought it btw so don't go saying ranran just cuz crimson red is his color lul) Once again, my mind decided to go off on it's own again and when I had originally planned to end the chapter at the end of the convo with Shizu, I went ahead and wrote in this bouquet thing and so, needless to say, I have no idea who gave her this bouquet. Gotta love randomly adding things to chapters that can actually change plot events later on :')))) not like it causes me problems later brain k thx

          I'm trying to update this fic a lot while I have free time because soon I'm going to have to start looking for a job and honestly, I'm not sure how much time I'll have for writing once I'm working full time. Hopefully the updates don't slow down to less than two chapters a month, but, we'll have to see when that time comes I guess riperoni

          I'm actually really happy I wrote Shizu into this fic. She's not canon to the Utapri series at all and I just wanted to give Ren's composer a name way back in the beginning chapters of this fic. But I think she can add some fun to the plot along with Haruka and Tomo-chan later on which is why she's having her comeback now.~ Look at past me being smart enough to help present me out. What a legend lol

          Also, sidenote, editing this chapter while blasting Nier: Automata music is actually the best like sure, I love me the Utapri songs, but nothing beats the great soundtracks of Nier and FFXV x3

          I love each and every last one of you lovely cuties and thanks so much for taking the time to read this chapter <3

    ~ ｋａｔ ♡