“Are you going to stay at the door all day?” Neriah asks, turning from the TV and glancing at Cainan, who’s been at the door since he came to visit her about ten minutes ago.

Shawn had to leave last night and told her he wouldn’t be able to visit in the morning because of work, but will definitely come over to spend more time with her once he closed. Cainan comes to visit every day as usual, but there was a difference between him and him as much as possible. He tries to stay off mentally and hopes that somehow helps emotionally.

“Not really, what’s on?” He asks, walking into the room. Neriah sees a black shopping bag in his hands and as much as she tries to ignore it and focus on the TV, she can’t and she wonders what is inside it.

“Black Panther,” she answers, looking at the TV before turning to stare at him again. “What’s in your hand?” She asks, her curiosity getting the best of hers.

His eyes drop to the bag in his hands and his hands tighten around the handle as though trying to keep it secure, but he speaks up. “Well, you know how you always said if this cancer didn’t return, you’d be out chasing your dream of being a fashion designer?”

That was a discussion they had last week where she explained basic things about herself to him, including her dreams and aspirations.

“Yeah,” she trails off, not knowing what he’s driving at and isn’t sure she can wait for the revelation of what he’s holding.

“I got you a journal. I want you to sketch out the designs you hope to work on and name what you need and I’ll get it for you.”

She stretches her hand out, and he hands her the bag. She opens the bag and there is a journal and a pencil inside. For a moment she had thought he was pulling her legs and didn’t think he had taken her sad, sappy and boring story into consideration. That he listened means he cared, that he cares means the bad blood between them is less. She loves his company even more than she’d like to admit out loud, and his new attitude makes it hard for her to have a wall around her every time he is near.

She smiles and her hands curl around the pencil, “Thank you, it means a lot to me.”

“You’re welcome.” he sits beside her and watches as she does her work sketching out unique designs for glamorous gowns first then proceedings to skirts tops, blouses and sundresses.

“You’re great at this,” Cainan compliments, speaking for the first time in the past fourteen minutes he’s been watching her sketch. Her expert use of the pencil to make strokes on the journal to bring the drawing of the designs to reality.

It baffles him and leaves him in awe.

“Thanks, it’s always been a dream of mine, to own something big in the name of fashion, and that was why I moved to the city. The city just wasn’t what we thought it would be or what I dreamed it was.” her eyes drop and she places the pencil inside the journal before closing it.

“I’m sorry,” he apologises, feeling the guilt wash over him once more.

She turns to look at him and their faces come incredibly close to each other to the point he can feel her breath on his skin. A part of him wants him to lean in and feel her lips on his and, though it feels wrong, he can’t help it.

“You’re really beautiful,” he gushes unintentionally as his hand lift to stroke her face when the door opens and Shawn walks in.

He pauses a little at the picture his eyes meet, which is the picture of Neriah and Cainan in an intimately close space. He also notices the looks on both their faces; Neriah looks like she’s confused at what is happening, while the one on Cainan's face breaks Shawn’s heart because he has seen it and because he seems to know well what the look is.

Neriah might be oblivious to it, but Shawn knows Cainan probably has developed a strong, uncontrollable feeling for her and although he had suspected it for a while, it seems so obvious now and for the first time Shawn feels insecurities washing all over him. He’s never doubted his love for Neriah, nor has he had reason to doubt hers, but Cainan just seems to make him do that for a moment and it isn’t something he’s proud of.

He doesn’t hope to contend or fight about who’s got Neriah's heart, which he knows is him, but he wonders if Cainan would be the right person to give her all she ever desired, something he might not do. That thought makes his blood boil, and he knows he can’t take it anymore.

“What are you doing?” Neriah asks in a whisper.

“Nothing, there was something on your face,” Cainan lies, and he withdraws his hands from her face when they hear the clearing of the throat and when they both turn to look at the door, they see Shawn standing there, having a pensive look on his face.

Shawn awkwardly stuffs his hands into his pocket and walks further into the room. “Did I interrupt something?”

“No, no,” Neriah says, shaking her head, “Cainan is just being nice and helping me take something off my face.” She repeats the lie Cainan has just told her.

Shawn’s scoff is very low, but Cainan hears it and he gets down from the bed and straightens his T-shirt. The feeling in the air doesn’t seem pleasant anymore. He could tell Shawn was angry under his melancholic mood and his anger appeared to be directed at him.

“I should go,” he blurts.

“Why?” Shawn asks, shooting daggers Cainan’s way with his eyes, “she wants you here, it’s obvious.”

Cainan looks down at Neriah who looks a little devastated about his leaving and he wants to reach out and hold her and tell her he wouldn’t leave her, but he knows he can’t, so instead, he turns to Shawn who seems to be in the mood for a throw down even before his girlfriend. “We should talk outside,” he said and walks out of the ward.

Shawn follows him and as soon as he gets to the corner where Cainan is, he punches Cainan in the face. Cainan stumbles backwards, taken by surprise and he sustains himself from falling by holding on to the wall.

“What’s your problem?” Cainan exclaims, holding onto his jaw, which had taken the hit.

Rage and the venom of hatred lace Shawn’s voice as he speaks. “You’re really asking me that? You Cainan Inferno, you are asking me that? Is this the price she pays for your generosity? The price I pay?”

Cainan frown as Shawn talking in parables isn’t helping the problem or anyone. “What are you talking about?”

“I saw the way you were looking at her,” he explodes.

“I don’t know what you’re talking a—” Cainan doesn’t get to finish, and he’s glad because there was no truth to what he’s saying.

“You can’t deny it because I know you love her and now you want to make her yours.” Shawn accuses.

Cainan continues to rub his jaw to ease the pain, and he tightens it as well before shrugging, “Yeah, maybe I do. What’s wrong with that?” There is boldness in his voice and honesty in his eyes. “Neriah is a beautiful, sweet, and wonderful lady. Any man in their right senses wouldn’t have a hard time falling for her.” He pauses and his brows drop. “what? You think you’re the only one that’s supposed to have feelings for her?”

Shawn surges towards Cainan, but Cainan grabs him by his collar and slams him hard against the wall. Cainan has always been the stronger man. They both knew that, or at least he knew it, and the rage going through Shawn couldn’t supersede Cainan's strength. Age, skill and experience make him the better fighter and if beating Shawn would make him hear what he has to say, he’d gladly do it.

They are in a corner, so no one would notice what is happening unless they decide to make a sound or a heavy brawl.

“Son of a bitch! This was your plan all along. Hire me back so you can do whatever and I wouldn’t be able to say anything or do anything even if you hurt me.”

Cainan pushes him harder against the wall, sneering into his ears, “Even if I didn’t hire you back, you wouldn’t still be able to say or do anything.” He lets go of his shirt and Shawn quickly straightens it and glares murderously at him.

He takes a step back, “You’re right, I am a son of a bitch and I definitely can’t be trusted around your girlfriend because I have developed genuine feelings for her and that is understandable, but what isn’t is you trying to put the blame on her and think she can’t be trusted. She’s sick and delicate and the last thing she needs is some insecure man around her.”

“Then stay away from her, from us, Cainan. Leave and don’t come back.”

“You can’t tell me what to do, Shawn.” He points out the obvious.

“I can’t, but Neriah loves me and leaving is out of the picture for me, so why not be the better man for once in our goddamn life and go away!”

He points his finger at Shawn, “Listen to me, young man-“

“No, you listen, old man. I think it’s high time you stop running after women that’ll never be yours. That lady in there isn’t Clara, and I am not Hugo. We love each other and I won’t let you ruin that for us, so leave.”

***

When Cainan gets home, he walks into his room and makes his way to his bed and on getting to it; he throws himself down on it and his eyes close briefly.

“Trouble in paradise?” a voice asks and Cainan knows too well whose voice it is because a smile appears on his face and stays there for something good on a bad day.

“Mom,” he says with great relief.

Ada, the forty-nine-year-old woman, smiles and pauses only when she’s standing beside him, “Thought I told you money can’t buy everything? It can’t buy love and certainly can’t buy happiness.”

She’s wearing an orange gown that matches her shoe and her dark skin glows in the fabric. Her hair is in an all-back weaving reaching her shoulders and there seems to be little or no trace of make-up on her face. She looks amazing.

His smile widens, even though pain pangs his heart. “I do not recall arguing with you about that. I only said I’d rather be filthy rich and brokenhearted than broke and brokenhearted.” He reminds her.

Ada sits down and Cainan pulls himself up and puts his head on her lap, “Who’s the girl that finally made you let Samantha go? Because you sure kept her around for three years even when you had no feelings or interest in her.”

Cainan's brows furrow how she knows. “It’s all over E! Son,” she clarifies.

He looks up at her, “Clara?” his suggestion is a lie and his mother seems to know that as well.

Clara wasn’t the reason he finally ended the charade with Samantha, Neriah was, and he hasn’t gone back to rethink his action since the breakup.

She shakes her head. “You loved Clara, but that love never gave you boldness. So who’s the girl that’s finally made you pull your head out of your arse?”

Cainan winces at the last part of her word and he takes his head off her lap and back to his pillow.

Hurt shows on his face now and Ada is the only person who can make that show on him. “You didn’t have to make it obvious, mom,” he says wryly with a sad voice.

“It has always been obvious, son. Clara was never yours from the beginning. She needed a man and called and treated you like a boy.”

The truth of his relationship, although not completely open to the world, was always open to him and those around him, but it still hurt a little whenever references are made to how terrible his relationship with Clara was.

His mother continues to speak snapping him out of his thoughts, “I hated that after hurting you the way she did, you still loved her and she still had so much power over you and up to a few months ago, she still did.”

“Samantha,” Ada pauses, scoffs and rubs her head, “how you’ve kept her for three years is still a miracle to me. I’m not saying you’re the best partner because you are horrible and you cheated on her many times and I raised you to be better than that man Clara made you into; I’m saying she was only after your money and the fame you brought and you needed a drama queen to make the charade buyable. In the end, you two were too toxic for each other and those types of relationships never last.”

“You seem to know everything from the beginning to the end, don’t you?”

“Yes I do, I’m your mother. So who’s the girl?”

“Her name is Neriah,” he says in the admission that there is actually a girl like his mom suspected.

And the next half hour he spends narrating the story of how things came into being and how the girl he thought he’d passionately hated over three months ago is now the girl he can’t live a day without seeing and knowing how she is.

“So you’re only figuring your feeling for her out now or have you always known?” She asks, and he knows he has to admit the truth to her even if he tried to hide it from himself as well.

He takes a while to reply as he thinks it through. “I think I’ve always known. I think I developed feelings for her the first day I saw her and although I really couldn’t figure out what it meant, I summed it all into anger and the need for revenge for the embarrassment I felt that day. It only magnified and became obvious these past weeks when I tried to kiss her.”

“What stopped you?” 

“That would have been wrong on so many levels. She has a boyfriend, and he walked in on the little intimate moment we shared... Long story short, he asked me to stay away from her and I’ve been doing since yesterday.”

“And how’s that going for you?”

He glances at his mother to see if she meant her question and she looks like one who means it. “It going horribly. I can’t focus and I want to see her and this week has been hell.” He admits, with a heavy sigh.

“What do you want to do now?”

“I don’t know, things are not that simple mom, she has Shawn and they are wonderful together. I don’t want to get between that.”

“Oh, a feeling you can’t express is as painful as a heartbreak.”

He can feel tears well up in his eyes, but he blinks them back and clears his throat. “I know, but if we will be together, then we will be. The first thing on my mind now is seeing that she pulls through this alive and in one piece.”