Izuna

I don't think I had ever held as much power in my life that I did then. I knew that I could just start screaming at him. That I could tell him everything he had done wrong. To tell him off for the indescribable anxiety he had caused me when he had disappeared, which I had had to start taking medicines against.

But I didn't. Because truth was, I wasn't angry with him. I didn't feel any remorse. I just wanted to ask him what he had been through that made him believe he had to cut me off from his life.

I ran to him. And he opened his arms to me and he caught me, lifted me up, and held me so close to him it was as if his body was trying to eat mine up.

Tobirama

He looked just as last time I had seen him, only with slightly longer hair. He wore a jacket he'd borrowed from my closet that was way too big for him, a beanie, and thumb mittens, each of them in the shape of a shark with teeth and everything. He looked more adorable like that, dressed for Iceland, than I had ever seen him. 

"I'm sorry-" I began.

"Shh", Izuna interrupted.

"But I-"

"No", he said, and I had never heard him sound so firm. "Tobirama, no. You're not allowed to. Not now. No talking. Not yet."

"How can we not talk?" I asked, my voice muffled as I was hiding it in his hair.

"Like this", he said.

And he took my face between his shark-clad hands and kissed me.

I didn't sigh. I didn't moan. I didn't make any sound as I kissed him back. I lifted him up by his thighs, carried him in and laid him down on a very thick carpet in front of the fireplace. He looked up at me, eyes sparkling, lips glistening, brows slightly furrowed. I undressed him, revealing his milky skin underneath, so soft beneath my hands. Every muscle came alive underneath my palm as I caressed his arms, his chest, his abdomen, his legs. I followed my hands with kisses, leaving hot traces all over his skin. He pulled at my cardigan, and I pulled it over my head, as well as the thermal top I wore underneath. 

I bit my lip and looked to the side as I revealed myself to him once more. Truth was, I was ashamed of my muscle loss; I had lost close to one third of my body weight since I moved here. But as Izuna traced his finger along my breast bone, I saw in his eyes that he still thought that I was beautiful; that for him, beauty came not from the surface but from somewhere within.

We still didn't say anything as we kissed again, and he pulled my trousers off. I had felt no lust in months, so I hadn't even touched myself for a long, long time and I was crazy erect. I forced Izuna on his stomach and hugged him close to me as I put my tip to him, and he clung to my back with both his arms and legs. 

As I came into him, I felt my entire world fall into place. In that moment, I came home. Maybe, I thought as I moved in slow waves above him, holding his gaze hostage with mine as he had turned his head to the side, it was okay that I didn't want Izuna because I thought I was good for him, or because I thought I could do him justice. Maybe, it was enough that I wanted Izuna. That I wanted him more than it was ever possible for anyone to ever want him. Maybe, I didn't have to suffer so much to keep myself away from him. 

We were still quiet as we made love, the only sound we heard our hot breaths. But I saw in Izuna's face that he was coming close. He moved so he sat on top of me and started jumping me slowly, rolling over me, and I held his waist, let my hands glide down to his thighs and then back up, over and over, until he leaned his head back and opened his mouth in a silent scream.

I looked at him wickedly as his warm cum spilled over my skin. Still panting, he stood up on his knees so I released him, and I hissed in frustration. But then, he bent down and took me into his mouth, and I leaned my head back and pinched my eyes closed. 

He bobbed his head for me, and I could hear he did his uttermost not to gag, but he failed. 

And I couldn't take it anymore, but burst out in a scream as I came into Izuna's mouth.

He took me, all of me, and when I looked down on him, he was looking up at me with huge eyes, mouth full, a trail of me running down his chin. I grabbed his face and looked at him, quiet again.

And he swallowed.

"Good boy", I said.

"I love you", he said.

And I hugged him, oh so close, so close to my chest, close to my heart, not able to speak because I was crying, but trying to speak those same words with my kisses instead. 

We didn't speak. Instead, we did things together. Sometimes, it was something as simple as sitting down together reading a book, or cooking together, or cleaning. But sometimes, we went out, doing things you did on Iceland such as hiking and watching volcanoes erupt. 

I wasn't working. Instead. I met Mr Swanson every day, and he counselled me. We talked about everything; my upbringing, my career, the girls I had dated, my sexuality, Izuna, my new life here, what I wanted next. 

"You need to tell Izuna", he finally said. "You need to tell him, and then you need to make up your mind." 

I knew he was right. 

Slowly, gradually, I started letting my responsibilities in my company over to the staff next in line to me. I would still be the CEO, but I understood now that I would need to take a break from work for a long time, so I took the necessary steps in order to achieve that. And I would have to make a decision about my future career as well, just as I had to make a decision about everything else.

Izuna was a star, taking care of the house and the cooking, but letting me help just as much as I was capable of in my burned-out state so that I wouldn't feel completely useless. With his fantastic cooking and weekend breakfasts, I started to gain some weight. I went for refreshing walks every day, and I bought some weights and built myself a home-gym in the basement to start to gain some muscle back. I was exhausted after only thirty minutes of lifting, but I decided thirty minutes was okay for now. I was just more tired in general, sleeping for twelve hours a night, taking hour-long naps each afternoon.

"It's a good thing", Izuna said. "It means your body is recovering."

And finally, after a few months of me and Izuna living together, I knew it was time to let Izuna in to my secrets.