Salvation doesn't return in full overnight, it is worked for- the striving in our lives. That was how it was in relation to the coming dawn of spring.

   We were still suffering from the lackluster harvest. Papa headed back to the fields just in time, as our supply of rations were dwindling to nothing. But as papa returned from the field each day, it was apparent that nature was still rallying against us. The winter had been a vicious one, hardening the ground even as spring crept in, and the weather was still quite bitter for the approaching season, but thankfully the worse was passed.

    I returned to my studies with Minryn as early as maman would allow. It was clear maman was still very much indebted to Minryn for her help in curing Erinna. She sent me bearing gifts every day, a pie she scraped up, an item hand stitched, a little token of thanks. Minryn was a woman not used to ample praise, so maman's shower of affection embarrassed her to an extent, but she gratefully welcomed the gifts.

   As spring came, so did Feria's birthday- her thirteenth. That age seemed, to maman, to be the exact age when Feria would begin to be expected to help out not as much in domestic chores, but rather earnings. Feria had a fine hand at sewing and maman suggested she begin assisting her in her tasks as a sewer in town. At first, Feria was hesitant and a bit resistant to the idea, as she told us so at night in bed.

   "I rather stay here at the house with you."

   "But won't it be fun being with maman all day?" Erinna piped up.

   Feria scrunched her face as though she smelt something aloof.

   "I suppose, but I'd prefer to stay with you two. Maman can be overbearing at times and I don't work well under her pressuring eye. Aelita would do better with that."

   "Me?" I said surprised.

   "Of course, you never complain when maman oversees your quiltwork."

   "It's quilting," I began. "It's not as hard and detailed as sewing has to be."

   "Nonetheless, I don't think it's wise to leave the house unkempt."

   "It wouldn't be left unkempt." Erinna protested. "I'll still be around and I can keep house."

   "All by yourself?" She said skeptically.

   "Of course."

   We couldn't help but smirk at our sister's cocky attitude. Erinna was not as careful or tedious in her tidying and her mind often wandered. She wasn't fit to be a sole housekeeper.

   "But what about when I go to town? You'll be all alone." I said.

   That didn't dampen her confident demeanor. "I'll be fine."

   Feria sighed. "I suppose it would help if I went to work, but- but I'm not like maman or you,"- she indicated to me- "I don't need to go to town. I'm perfectly suited to remaining at home."

   By morning, she still was weary toward the idea of working away from home, but maman eventually persuaded her into trying, though I could tell maman would have taken her anyway.

   In a way, I believe Feria took comfort in keeping house because the house was her domain. In most households the mother would control the wellbeing of the physical house, but since maman worked, Feria, from a young age, saw the house as her right to keep in order, she was in charge. Leaving the house solely in the hands of Erinna, whom she loved but didn't trust to maintain it up to her standards, was a difficult thing for her. I could only assist and correct Erinna's slacking till the time when I had to depart from the house.

    Though Feria was uneasy about leaving the house, I was always glad of it.

   Minryn taught me many new things in that season of transition. I was thriving under her instruction, so much so that I was beginning to outmatch my master. I thought of new ways, new methods to solve things, learning came to me and knowledge was acquired at a rapid pace. I never had enough books to satisfy my intense craving for information. Everything about that season was one of improvement. My curvise was finer than it had ever been, each loop and curve made with careful precision. Minryn was very much impressed with my advancement and sought new things for me to learn so I wouldn't become bored. Every day when I would devour the knowledge of a new resource she'd shake her head ruefully at me.

   "You're worse than a locust in a grain field, child."

   I pushed myself to new heights, achieved challenges I never thought I'd reach. The opportunities were unveiling before me and yet I never noticed.

   My hunger for knowledge never rested, but I made sure my body did. Five times a week I would go into town to learn, but the other two I stayed home- Feria would run on the same schedule. We could stay out six days a week like papa and maman, but we thought it better to have a day to spend at home with Erinna, a sisters day only. It did give Feria time to correct what she deemed unfit from the last five days. On those days, Erinna would want desperately to play with us, but the work had to be done beforehand. Afterwards, we would become wild things lost in the forest, making up fantasies.

   It was one of the better early spring days where there wasn't a damp chill to the air. The sun bathed everything in golden light, warming everything it touched. Erinna rejoiced at such a sight; she always became alive in peaceful, beautiful weather. She was especially gleeful that day, nagging at us to finish our chores so we could go outside and play a game with her.

   "Have you finished beating the rug?" Feria asked her while she occupied herself cleaning the dishes. She was methodical in all she did.

   "Yes, and fed the chickens and made the beds and dried the clothes and washed the table. Now hurry up or there won't be daylight left."

   Feria and I exchanged a look. I smiled at our eager sister, setting aside the broom.

   "We're almost finished. Why don't you check on the chickens again while we finish? It won't take us long."

    Her excitement was barely contained within her small frame; she had such energy even for a child her age.

   Obediently, she raced out to check on the chickens while we continued our previous task, working diligently in silence until she came back in, annoyed we hadn't finished.

   "What more do you have to do?" She complained.

   "The fireplace has to be clean," I said. "You could help me with that."

    Her frown told me I was going to have to trudge through the task alone, unfortunately. Feria, though, offered a more enticing duty.

   "Why don't you fetch some more water from the well? I need to wash some things."

   "Of course." She beamed, making haste. She came back briefly to claim the bucket then hurried back out again.

    We were left to resumed our mundane tasks in silence.

    I hated cleaning the fireplace of its ashes, but it had to be done. For the meantime, I was allowed to gripe whilst I did so.

   "I suppose I'll never meet anyone who would jump at the chance to clean the fireplace?"

   "Who knows? You might meet a boy who loves sweeping out the fireplace."

    I scrunched my nose more at the thought of boys than cleaning the fireplace.

   "Says who?"

   She shrugged, a smile visible on her face.

   "The Fates."

   "What do the Fates have to do with boys and fireplaces?"

   "They gave us the miracle of love."

   "The love of boys?" I said with a hint of contempt.

   "Uh-huh." She replied dreamily.

   "Well, you keep your love of boys and I'll keep my dislike of cleaning fireplaces."

   "I think you'll understand one day."

   "Do you?"

   She shrugged again. "Not really, no. But I hope to."

   I stuck my tongue out at such ideas as hers.

   We continued to work in silence until fully complete with our tasks. Feria, with her perfecting eye, looked over the house one more time to make sure everything was how she deemed it should be. It was then that I realized Erinna hadn't returned with the water.

   "She probably idled somewhere," Feria said, shaking her head.

   "I'll go fetch her," I said, already skipping out into the crisp cool air that couldn't be felt in the stuffy house.

   Erinna had a free spirit like me, even more so than myself. It was highly likely that something caught her eye and made her imaginative mind wander from its task.

   It was a day warm enough not to be bundled up, but a brisk chill hung in the air.

   I made my way to the well where I looked around the open space of the forest, but I could sense no trace of my sister. I was greatly unconcerned. This wasn't the first time she had strayed from her task.

   So I began my search for her, traveling a different route from the one I took. Taking my time, I could actually enjoy the nature that was beginning to blossom due to the arrival of spring, though most planets were struggling to overcome the sharp cold spell we'd been in.

   After a few minutes of pointless wandering, I stopped, sighing in annoyance as I glanced about.

   "Where could you be?"

   Genuinely, I did think about that question. Erinna wasn't someone you could easily predict like you could Feria or myself. Erinna made her own paths, she went wherever her soul instructed her to, as papa put it. After a moment of thought, I decided to head down the path with the most sunlight breaking through the trees. The rays led the way like stepping stones, enough to tempt anybody like Erinna to follow.

   The sunlit path led me to a section that began to look familiar to me; it was nearing the creek. It seemed the creek called to her like a beacon. Unfortunately, once I arrived and studied the area I could still see no sign of my sister. Finally, I decided I was tired of looking for her and called out to her. If she didn't respond, then I would head back to the house and see if she had returned while I was out. If not, I would simply wait- sometimes it was best to let adventure play out rather than set it back on the strict path.

   I called out. Once, twice, three times I called her name and no response came back.

   "That silly girl." I shook my head, already starting the walk back.

   Then, just as I was about to return back, I remembered another location she might be hiding around. Further up the creek, there laid a small pond that we sometimes frequented. Erinna was always entranced by the sparkling of the surface when the light hit it, especially at high noon. If she had a dawdling mind then it was safe to assume she could be anywhere.

   "If she's not there," I mumbled to myself, journeying along the winding creek. "Then I'm truly giving up."

    Just as I was approaching the pond, I could tell it was iced over since the temperature was low enough still. Erinna enjoyed watching light being reflected so staring at the ice would be an intriguing thing for her.

    As I came closer to the spot, I noticed, with relief, the bucket Erinna took along hanging on a branch nearby. My thinking had led me right to her. But it was strange, as I looked around initially, I still could not find her.

   "Erinna." I called her name, curious as to where she might have wandered off now.

   Turning around, confused and a tad frustrated, I paused, staring at the frozen pond.

   The ice on the edge of the pond was whole but closer to the middle there was a hole, a rugged crack where the water revealed itself. What floated in the water drew my attention further. Taking tentative steps closer to the edge, I leaned forward to see what it was the water held.

   The dark, green fabric made my breath hitch.

   "Erinna!"

   Unconcerned about the weak ice underfoot, I ran to the hole. I had nothing to fear, for as I raced across the thin ice, my gift kindled, strengthening the thickness of the ice underfoot.

    Skidding to a kneel, I reached into the water, retrieving the hood of the cloak and pulling up with all my strength. My body quivered with fear. Panic seized me in such a powerful grip that the world spun before my eyes and the air suddenly became too thick to breathe.

   Pulling her onto the icy surface, I looked her over.

   "Erinna." I shook her, believing her to be merely unconscious from the shock of the icy water. "Erinna. You have to wake up. Oh, Erinna."

    My mind was fooling me in my panicked, frenzied state of delusion.

   Instinctively, I knew I had to get her home and warmed up- I didn't know how long she had been submerged. As light as she was, though, it was still going to pose quite the challenge for me to heave her all the way back. I needed help.

   But I remained by her side, shaking her as though it would wake her.

   Her body was stiff, not full of life like it usually was. Her eyes were shut, her fists clenched loosely. Her lips didn't carry the familiar dye of pink, but rather a gray pale. Out of the water, a light crust of ice was forming. But no matter how hard I tried, she wouldn't stir.

   "Erinna?"

    Finally, my scholarly mentality awoke. All emotion except suspense fled from me. Cautiously, hesitating twice before doing so, I lowered my head to her chest, hovering just above her mouth and listened.

   No noise.

   Resting my ear upon her cold, stiff chest, I concentrated solely on the sign of a beat, even the faintest one. While I did so, I held her wrist, my fingers finding the specific point they searched for. Then, I listened, I waited for the thudding.

   Nothing felt. Nothing heard. All was vacant inside.

   Internally, I already knew the facts, I knew the truth that would make my world permanently frozen. Outwardly, though, denial gripped me.

    "Erinna? Erinna?" I resumed shaking her as though trying to wake her from a moderate slumber. "Come on, Erinna, you still need to fetch the water."

   My force increased till I was violently shaking her with urgency and my voice became tight and high-pitched.

   "Erinna! You lazy little waif! You need to fetch the water! Quit idling, Erinna and fetch the water!"

   But no matter how loud I yelled, how hard I shook her, her tiny body wouldn't wake- she remained stiff and cold in my arms. My voice broke and I swiftly followed- truth had caught up.

   I will never know how long I held my sister on that frozen pond, but a good amount of time seemed to pass.

   I rocked her rhythmically, not a single sound uttered, but an irregular sniffle. The tears were ample and they watered her expressionless face till it seemed as though she was weeping too.

   The loneliness took me by surprise. Never had I felt so abandoned clinging to the body of my sister. For I was truly alone; no more was her brightening spirit inside but dissolved into the water. I held nothing more than the reminder of the pretty girl that once was so ablaze with life.

   In her small, delicate ear I whispered useless murmurs and her name. I felt as though I would forget her name if I didn't utter it again and again.

   I must have been gone longer than need be for I heard my name being called along with that of my fallen sister's. Immediately I knew it was Feria searching for us so earnestly. I could not, for some unfathomable reason, turn to look at her as she approached, even though it was I who drew her closer by answering her.

   "Aelita?" I heard her hurried steps behind me, stopping briefly at the end of the pond, unsure if she should dare step foot.

    My back was to her and my body concealed Erinna from her. Her voice remained in normal, good cheer but with a tint of curiosity.

   "Aelita, what are you doing dawdling?" She called. "Have you found Erinna?"

   I wasn't cold but I shook with such intensity that she took quick notice of it.

   "Are you cold? I thought you couldn't get cold. Aelita," She sighed. "What is the matter with you? Look at me."

   Finally, with my voice so thick with pain, so tight with emotion I was surprised words could even be spoken, I turned back to look at her and choked out,

   "She's dead."

   The look which crossed my sister's face was one never to be forgotten.

   It morphed from concern upon seeing my face to a blank gaze once the words were out. The color drained from her face, until she as pale as Death was over Erinna, once she looked what I held in my arms. She simply collapsed to her knees at the sight.

   I returned my affectionate gaze to my younger sister, willing her to return. Behind me, I heard, at first, strangled sounds which sought control, but eventually gave way to wretched sobbing, sobbing I'd never before heard from my sister.

   We remained in such a way for a long period of time- the sun was beginning to retreat from the sky- when Feria's voice, still raw, beckoned to me.

   "Bring her here."

   Getting to my feet was a struggle for I had been kneeling for some time, but it was a light load to carry to the edge. She assisted me in gently setting her down on the grass, taking extra care smoothing out the wrinkles in her clothing. For another long stretch of time we sat there, holding the fridge body.

   Through the hazy veil of fresh sorrow, the words of my mentor reached out to me.

   "Stay brave, Aelita. Remember to always be brave. No matter what, be brave."

   Those words applied to me when my sister was ill, but now as she laid there in my arms, taken after prevailing over such a deathly ailment, I couldn't help but falter. Why such a cruel taunt from the so-called merciful Fates? Why spare her for us when faced with anguished Death, but snatched her in such a miserable, short-lived snare?

   Even as I thought this to myself, her words echoed again, louder.

  "No matter what, be brave."

   No matter what.

   The Fates had gifted me with no reason, they provided with no explanation. Now, they choose to take away my sister with no just cause that my mortal eyes could see. But the day they had blessed me was the day I put absolute trust in them, so would I then in that moment of pain.

   No matter what.

   Wiping the remaining tears, I got to my feet, looking down at Feria who continued to be hunch over, crying. I placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

   "It's becoming late. We need to head back to the house."

   She turned her tear streaked face upward at me, the pure distraught clear to any eye. I knelt to carry Erinna in my arms. Protectively, taking me by surprise, Feria stood to her full height, snatching our sister from my arms, clinging her tightly to herself. I allowed it, merely looping my arm in hers as we began our slow, weary march back.

    Arriving back at the house, I didn't know what to do with the body, but Feria wordlessly- she had started her silence after seeing the body- took the lifeless girl to our room where she set her upon the bed. I watched from the threshold as she tenderly attended to our sister. She undressed her, relieving her of the ice-crusted, wet clothes and cloak she wore and neatly placing them aside her boots, then untying her hair from its two braids. So maternal was she towards our young sister that any stranger, unknowing of our true relations, could have mistaken her as her mother figure. I felt oddly out place to be there watching such an emotion moving scene between them; I felt I had no part in it.

   Thankfully, Feria allowed me to slip away when she asked for a bath to be drawn. I went immediately to fulfill her wishes.

   I had no thoughts as I prepared the bath. My thoughts were void, full of aimless wandering. I barely remembered even drawing the bath.

   Once my task was done, I went back to tell Feria, who was warmly stroking Erinna's pale face absentmindedly. When I told her the bath was ready, she carried Erinna like a newborn babe to the basin where she began the job of bathing her. She cleaned her with such gentle scrubs that it seemed she would never complete the task. Rhythmically, she massaged our sister's scalp, washing her bronzed hair till it gleamed once more. When the deed was finished, she dried her with the utmost care that I had never witnessed even a mother give their only child.

   Finally, she carried the naked body back to our bed where she dressed her in her simple, white nightgown. Tucking her in snugly, Feria ended her silent work with an affectionate kiss on the forehead before pulling away with reluctance and remained positioned on the bed near the child, clasping her little hand.

   I sought to give her privacy with Erinna.

   I wasn't a fool. I knew how close Feria and Erinna were, especially with my frequent absences in the afternoons. It was only common sense they would grow closer being together so often. What had I to say? But in that act of love, I saw how Feria's nature was. I knew her to be compassionate and caring to all, but in that moment I realized completely how deep the love ran in her with Erinna. It seemed almost a surreal relationship. I to Feria was her sister, but Erinna was, to her, almost like her child. I never have begun to piece together how their relationship evolved to become that, but it is one of nature's greatest unexplainable phenomenons.

   Retreating to the main room, I began the preparations for supper, my heart in turmoil over the moment when maman, then papa, would arrive home. Feria would be in no shape to tell her the truth so I was left as the grim newsbearer.

   I had just begun stirring the soup in the kettle when I heard the rickety door drag across the ground. My heart felt heavier than before as I continued with my back towards her. She went about her business of setting down her stuff before addressing me.

   "What are you making?"

   My throat had tightened to the point where I was afraid no words could choke themselves out, but I somehow managed.

   "Beetroot soup with chunks of rabbit."

   She stood over me suddenly, but I remained attentive to my task of methodically stirring the thick soup. Unsatisfied with my work, she seized the spoon from my hand and began doing the task herself. I let her, stepping back from the fire and her as a numb feeling came over me.

   Lingering near the bench, I thought to sit but restrained from doing so. I don't know what I was waiting for, but she spoke up first, stirring in the pepper.

   "Where's Feria? Is she ill?"

   "No." The words were becoming harder to choke out, the emotions harder to conceal.

   She occupied herself with chopping the potatoes finer than I had.

   "Fatigued?"

   I swallowed. The air became too thick to breathe.

   "A bit."

   She transferred the choppings to the kettle.

   "What about Erinna? How has she fared? No weakness anymore?"

   No more could I talk, no more would the words comes. Tears, thick and heavy, dripped from my face in small puddles on the floor. When a few moments passed without me answering, maman repeated herself, expecting an answer. She needed to know the truth but I was forbidden to speak. I became a minute mute.

   "Aelita." She became terse with me, beginning to face me. "An answer."

   Just as she had turned to face me, noticing my distress, both our attention was diverted by a frail, ghostly voice, hoarse with sadness.

   "She's gone, maman."

   Feria stood in the threshold between our room and the main one. How fast she appeared to have lost all life from herself, looking similar in death with Erinna.

   Maman, confused and concerned, glanced between the two of us, studying our faces. She looked at us for a moment before asking with a loss of breath for clarification.

   "What are these mutterings about? Where's your sister?"

   Feria only shook her in the same blank demeanor she portrayed.

   "Feria?" Maman was becoming panicked, flustered with us.

   My voice came back in a breathy, broken sob.

   "Oh maman." I tearfully shook my head at her, my breaths labored. "She's dead, maman, she's gone."

   The color from maman drained to the ashen gray that was becoming common. She wrung her dress absentmindedly, standing there looking lost.

  She finally pushed passed Feria, who slowly crept to the bench to sit. I followed her a little ways, stopping at the edge of the room, but quickly stepped aside as maman came rushing out with Erinna clutched in her arms.

   Frantically, she searched for a place to set her, eventually settling her in her and papa's bed. Both Feria and I watched as maman scrambled around for something to fix her daughter, some miracle to wake her.

   "Maman," I called to her with a shaky voice.

   She paid me no heed, only becoming more agitated when her methods weren't working.

   I tried again, a tad bit stronger, but she continued to ignore me.

   Feria sat, hunched over with her face in her hands, a slight tremble coursing through her.

   "Maman."

    Finally, she met my brimming eyes, her flushed face of panic melting into something more tragic as she watched me. I shook my head in defeat, my voice raw.

   "She's gone, maman. She's gone."

   It appeared as though she had a brief moment of defiance, not choosing to believe the truth I told. But her delusions had worn away and she was left with nothing but sorrow, leaving her to crumple to the floor. Even Feria had to look up at the broken woman who had once been our strong mother.

   In that moment, I saw not as a child sees a parent's grief, but as one with knowledge of life sees a parent's grief.

   My mother wept for her lost, unborn child. She mourned for our sister.

   The wretched sobs of my older sister were enough to remain with me, but the tortured wails of my mother would haunt my nightmares continually for the rest of my days lived. Never again do I wish to hear the mourning of a mother.

   She was inconsolable. She clutched Erinna close to her chest, her sobs dying down but her body trembling in the worst condition. It seemed Feria shut everything out after that. She didn't cry anymore- I don't think she had the tears nor strength to do so- but stared. Her gaze always fixed beyond where I couldn't see. We were all grieving, but I felt so isolated from maman and Feria's grief.

   After maman fell apart and Feria stopped responding, I put into practice what Minryn had taught me. My most important lesson: Be brave, no matter what.

   I cooked supper that night, though I knew no one's appetite would be great.

   It would be bittersweet when papa arrived home. I knew he'd be able to give maman some comfort like he did when she lost our sibling. But I was afraid of how he would grieve. We all seemed so different in our grieving state.

   The moment I heard him approach the house, I went out to meet him. It felt wiser if I told him before he came into our stricken home than figure it out in pieces once going in.

   He was washing up outside where we usually set the small basin for him. His smile upon seeing me sent a stab through my heart. I determined that day that I'd never be the sole messenger of bad news again.

   "Aelita," He kissed my forehead. "What are you doing out here greeting me?"

   "Papa..." I faltered trying to find the words. He took notice and turned to look at me with puzzlement.

   "Yes?"

   With my hands twitching and fidgeting at my side and my eyes darting along the ground, it wasn't hard for him to realize something was amidst.

   "Aelita, what's troubling you?"

   "It's," I swallowed the emotions. "It's Erinna, papa."

   His face froze in worry. "Has she fallen ill again? Is she in pain?"

   Finally, I forced my eyes to remain on his face. He studied me anxiously. After a quick moment, I spoke up.

  "Papa. She's dead."

  Another moment passed, this time longer and drawn out until he buckled under the weight. I rushed to help him. That once strong man was brought to his knees in anguish, in despair. He tried to speak but stuttered and stumbled through his words as if he were dumb. Assisting him into the house on his shaky feet, he felt nothing more than a leaf.

  Once we stepped through the door, he staggered over to maman, crawling to her side where she still clutched Erinna. He lifted her pale, lifeless hand, kissing it, rubbing it against his cheek where tears began to rain. This sent maman into a fresh new assault of mourning.

  I couldn't handle the grief. I couldn't see my parents- my once strong, unbreakable papa and maman- fall apart so easily, shatter so quickly as they held my sister whose blank eyes were more vivid my older sister's, my sister who was supposed to be the brave one. The sorrow was going to drive me mad. So I ran.

   Running, running, never looking back, never stopping, never thinking about direction, just running.

   Night had cloaked the world, but I ran as if it were daylight.

   I knew it then as I ran till all my energy was spent. My life- our lives- had entered a new chapter, a new period- one without the light of our existence, Erinna. No longer did I have light to guide me. I was blind to what would come.

   This new chapter was shaky, uncertain. I was scared, but I knew fear must now be pushed down, for I had to be brave. My story so far had taught me many new things, but this chapter, this part would be my application of those things. I was to be brave.

   So as something that day branded me forever, something else, something reinvigorated inside me. I was broken anew.