Queen. 

   The title was mine. Though gained in an inglorious manner, I wore that title with the highest pride there was.

   Of course there was confusion in the beginning about the new sovereignty in power; the upsurge occurred so quickly that many hardly knew at first there was a new ruler on the throne. The following months left no doubt, though, where power laid.

   Throughout the coming months, the palace underwent changes of its own. I had previously dismissed all the servants and guardsmen in the palace and when I beckoned them back I knew there were choices to be made. I could not allow for an insurgency so I hand selected those who I knew were reserved, submissive individuals, not likely to question my authority. It was an easier task for the servants than the guardsmen. Sentinels were fiercely loyal- to a fault, in fact- so it was harder to determine whether they were malleable or replaceable. The younger ones proved to be more pliable to my agenda than the older ones. Those who weren't chosen were permanently dismissed. Though hand selected, my first task to my new guardsmen to test their new loyalty was immediate.

   "Kill them."

   They formed puzzled expressions at my orders.

   I repeated coolly, "Kill them. Make sure none of them arrive at a village. Do it now before nightfall."

   They then understood the message for a grim, uneasy hush fell over them as they exchanged glances. I wasn't concerned whether they would do it- I already knew they would- it was more about breaking them, like common horses, imposing upon them a new mindset which would efficiently get things done. Like I predicted, one soul desperate to prove his worth, obeyed my orders and drew out his sword. Many followed in his example and soon they all rushed out like ravished wolves. The results were to my satisfaction, but I didn't reward them quite yet. I would continue to push them, drive them forward, mold them not into guardsmen but rather simple guards set to whatever task I requested of them.

   Another alteration to the palace was the physical structure itself. Unintentionally, my ice would spread through rooms of the palace whenever I drifted off in thought. Though never as cold as the throne room, each area would become glazed over until an ice palace took shape. Though I never purposed for it to occur it pleased me that I had a signature touch upon a structure that had become so dear to me- it felt more like home with each passing day.

   One final change to the palace was the way I ruled.

   In previous reigns, it was common ground for the king and queen to have scores of advisors bustling around them, organizing their day, whispering in their ears excessively, but those days were over. I needed no one attempting to run the kingdom through me- I was not a puppet for show- I was a singular, independent ruler. I knew what was best for Edalirwen, even if Edalirwen didn't know what was best for itself. That being so, I ceased with public hearing for a brief glimpse of time. I would resume the practice again, eventually, but for now the people's close-minded opinions weren't in order.

   New laws were put in place to eliminate the various social problems between the provinces. There had to be boundaries in a kingdom, it would collapse without them. As queen, I pondered over every decision I made, hoping to find the best alternative.

    I had turned eighteen a little while after my coronation and it was around that time I had received news of Swethyna. She remained one of the only supports I had left in my life after the betrayal episode. She had stayed quiet for some time, making me worry at nights when my thoughts turned to her, but finally I received word telling me she was in good health as well as her newborn. The news overjoyed me and I scheduled a time to set out and see her.

    The village they lived in was still the same as when they first moved from the palace. They lived in a small, wooden structure badly worn due to harsh winters and relentless summers. It was bigger than my childhood home, though, so it greatly impressed me even if I appeared not to reveal those thoughts.

    When I entered, I came in at the sight of Swethyna sitting in a chair, melodiously rocking the swaddled babe in her arms. Rycas made her aware of me. Once she noticed me, she beckoned me forth, happiness radiating from her like the sun.

   "Isn't she a lovely little one?" She breathed as if taking in her child for the first time again.

    The babe's face was the picture of tranquility. The peach colored face wasn't wrinkled with focused sleep but rather her brow was relaxed and her little pink mouth sucking for something beyond. Her fists were curled loosely. This child had nothing to fear it appeared.

    "Do you want to hold her?" She offered.

    Truthfully, my arms longed to hold the child but something restrained me from reaching out for the small bundle. Swethyna eased my dilemma- whether she knew the root cause or not- and gave me a reassuring look.

    "Go on, only for a minute."

    Whether I wished to or not, she already transferred the mewling infant into my arms with delicate care.

    I had held a child before, not as fresh from the womb as this, but the feeling was foreign. Cradling the babe in my arms, I peered down into her face, hoping to gain some of her serenity myself- I greatly needed it.

   "What's her name?" I whispered softly.

   "Emmony."

    My eyes never wavered from the child, "So full of spirit for a child so peaceful."

   "Aye, but it suits her."

   I held her for another minute before returning her to the arms of her mother. Babes, they were such fragile creatures yet so easy to connect with. Something within me yearned for something my friend had. It appeared then, standing in her house, that she had everything; a husband to love and be loved by, a house with two stories that, though was decaying, stood strong, and a new babe to raise to love her. I would return to nothing but a lonely palace with no one to share life with nor anyone to cherish or love.

   That was where the resentment started.

   Time could only allot for one more hour of my stay there and I spent it talking fervently to Swethyna. Rycas took the child while we recounted the events that had transpired.

   "There's been much talk from the palace lately," She said. "They claim the king and queen are dead as well as the heirs."

    It seemed she had remained in a world of innocent bliss, unmindful of the changes around her.

    "Yes...there has been a change in power."

    "Oh?"

    My eyes flickered up to hers, gauging how she might receive the news I held.

    "I am the lone ruler now."

    Baffled, she regarded me as if I spoke another tongue.

    "You are...queen?"

    "Yes," I couldn't help the pride that swelled in my voice. "I've finally attained what I sought after."

    Her brow was furrowed deeply but she said nothing.

   "You have been a good friend to me, Swethyna, and I know you won't be able to uphold your position till another year or so but I wanted you to know it is open for you to return. It would be my deepest wish if you did."

    She remained silent for several seconds, then her eyes looked back at mine, her brow still furrowed, though not as deeply. An expression of remorse clouded her face. She began slowly.

   "Oh, Aelita, I don't...I couldn't see myself going back, not without my daughter anyways."

   "Oh no, I don't mean to push you. Return whenever you can. I simply miss your presence."

   "It would be some time before I could return. I would like to wait until she is of working age so I could take her with me-"

   "What age would that be?" I asked perched on the edge of my seat.

    She was perplexed then, keeping her gaze to the floor.

   "Rycas and I were discussing things recently...things change when you have children- you'll understand some day. Once Rycas' pledge has expired, we...we were planning on migrating west to his childhood province. His family is there and he wants Emmony and I to meet them and live amongst them. He wants us to set our roots there...and I want that as well."

   The news stung me, like an assault to the face. That was never the original plan. I couldn't lose her, I couldn't lose the only person who I cared about still. But I felt her already slipping away like grains of salt out of my grip.

   "Swethyna..." My voice faltered.

   Quickly, she sat close to me, wrapping her arm around me.

   "I promise I wouldn't have told you if I didn't believe you weren't ready to hear it, but please understand."

    Understand.

   The plead for me to understand. I had heard it too often in my life for my mind to disassociate the phrase.

   How much understanding did they want from me? How could I understand everything that would destroy my vision for my life? I refused to understand and accept anymore. For once, they must understand what I felt, how I viewed things.

   But as I sat there, staring blankly straightforward for a minute, I said nothing of my mind, instead giving her what she wanted: reassurance.

   "Of course." The voice inside my head echoed hollowed but she held me close with gratitude, not feeling the vibrations.

   "Thank you, Aelita."

    I left that day feeling discouraged.

    Again, just when things were going my way my dreams were altered and crushed. As I drew closer to the palace, my thoughts were deep and endless. Then, the thought formed in my mind perfectly and though I knew hurt would result from it, I was tired of being used like a pawn in life's game.

    I would visit Swethyna whenever I could. I'd witnessed her child's growth, seeing what a boisterous child she truly was. Throughout those two years I plotted and waited. Rycas still worked in the palace, though I kept him out in the provinces, closer to home and away from what I needed him from. He counted down the days when he could return home and steal Swethyna from me forever. Though those things burned within me, I learned to control my countenance, playing the part. Secretly, I counted down the days with him but no one would know how differently we waited until the moment arrived.

   The day came when I put my thoughts into actions.

   I had visited Swethyna a day before her set departure, helping her preparing for the tiresome journey ahead. Emmony was as obstreperous as ever, trying to be helpful but merely getting in our way; we eventually set her to the task of frivolous counting to occupy her. All that day, Swethyna kept recalling pleasant memories of the past to the present, tears sometimes brimming in her eyes. I, on the other hand, barely acknowledge those dear times, my mind focused on other details at play.

   Though Swethyna embraced me and whispered hoarsely in my ear her farewells, I left that day feeling triumphant in myself.

   The day they were due to depart I summoned Rycas one final time to the palace to authorize the end of his pledge. He was beaming like a thousand suns, his eyes alight with distinct joy. Immediately, upon taking in his radiant demeanor, my heart was hardened against him, still I retained my benignity towards him.

    He bowed deeply to me but I discouraged him.

   "Please, to your feet."

   He did as I said, his joy overwhelming.

   "I thank you for your understanding in this all, your Majesty."

   "No formalities, please. We are friends, are we not?" I smiled favorably at him.

   "Yes. I express gratitude and love from both me and Swethyna. Your endless kindness to us has been taken to heart."

    He gripped the paper declaring his duty ended, turning to go when my words beckoned him back.

   "If I could," I began tentatively. "Could I ask one last thing of you, Rycas?"

    Concern quickly replaced his previous celebration, his face lined with inquiring. He had a gentle, compassionate spirit like Swethyna, so ready to sacrifice and serve.

    "Anything. Ask anything of me."

    I didn't speak for several moments, searching his face for something before continuing.

    "I have a brief, but urgent errand I need done and I trust no one more than you to do it."

    His sense of honor and duty came rushing back to him as he waited on further directions.

    "I promise to do this task for you."

    "I knew you would." I feigned a relieved smile then handed him a small scroll. "Take this to the city of Swynd and deliver it to the high priest. Do it as swiftly as possible and when you are finished you may return home."

    "Thank you."

    I allowed him to leave, watching him go with determination in his step. Once he had left, I leaned back on my throne, staring up at the ceiling as though there were stars glistening among the intricate patterns. I stayed that way even as I called for a guard to come in. Tearing my eyes away, I gave him a level looked with a simple commanding voice.

   "Retrieve my bow."

   "Yes, your Majesty."

    He made haste to obey my command, leaving me alone momentarily.

    It was now in motion, a pendulum I could not stop.

    The guard returned promptly with the majestic bow, light bouncing off its polished wood like diamonds. Upon taking the mighty thing in my hands I ordered a horse to be prepared for my departure. I then summoned for Serlon.

    Serlon was my strongest and most loyal guard. He was intimidating to most, which was very beneficial for keeping the others in line, but more importantly, he was impressionable. He'd do anything I'd asked of him, no questions asked, no retaliation. He was the exemplary guard.

    He, as usual, accompanied me with not a single word uttered- a very stoic, laconic man. He walked beside my stallion for I was in no urgent hurry. Through the entire ride, I kept a tight grip on the bow, the quiver slung over my shoulder. Though the quiver was filled, I would only need one arrow.

    Finally, we arrived at the location I desired. I never bothered dismounting, but instead kept a vigilant eye on the path below. We were positioned on a steep overlooking the main road leading to Swynd.

    I handed the bow into Serlon's possession which he accepted with subtle confusion awaiting my instructions. Calmly, I took off the quiver and retrieved one lone arrow from it, handing that over to him as well. With the items needed in his possession I spoke carefully and with simplicity.

   "Position yourself and wait for my word."

   Though Serlon remained mute, I could sense his growing impatience but I would do nothing to sabotage all my careful planning.

   My heart lurched slightly in my chest at the sight of my target down below, making his way in haste to the city. Even from the distance we were, I could see the determination in his stride as he journeyed toward his last task. Something burned within me, ready to strike, but I knew I only had one shot, one window of opportunity.

    I waited until I could see the full back of his head.

    He was so blissfully unaware of what was about to occur. Measuring my chance, I waited, with my breath held, for the precise timing.

   "Release."

   The command had just been uttered from my mouth as the whizzing sound of an arrow flying cut through the air.

    Down below, the arrow struck its target. The clean hit sent him crumbling to his knees, his face prostrate in the dirt.

    A slight smile played upon my face.

   "Very good."

    Spurring the beast back, we traveled down to the road where he laid, his body sprawled in the dust. Red dirt seeped to the surrounding area. I surveyed the corpse for several seconds before further action.

    Dismounting, I ordered his body be placed on the back of the horse.

    My command was obeyed as he slinged Rycas on the back of the beast which whined at the new weight. Taking the reins, I led the stallion into the side forest with Serlon following diligently behind.

    I had assigned him to take the scroll specifically to Swynd for an exact reason. Littered along the highways were trenches, some steeper than others, more rugged than others, but plentiful in the region. It was no mistake I instructed him to make haste, causing him to travel along the quickest but most isolated road.

    We stood at the edge of the rocky crag where a thin line of a stream trickled below.

    So indifferent I was, I didn't flinch when, in one swift motion, pulled out the telltale arrow sunk into the back of his head- the fletching would betray me. Tissues from the brain, it seemed, coated the tip of the arrowhead, but I disregarded the gruesome sight as I placed the murderous arrow in with the rest.

    With the arrow retrieve, my clean up was complete and I kicked the creature on over the edge of the crag.

    My closest friend's husband, my loyal guardsman, and I never turned to watch him tumble down the jagged cliff like an abused rag doll. His limbs twisting and flying as he was tattered against the unforgiving rock, sliding down to the sandy bank of the stream below, forgotten.

    The task was finished.

    I never spoke a word to Serlon nor him to me about the matter afterwards. He knew the power of self-restraint and guarding his words. It was never to be brought up again.

    They found his body a day later, already being devoured by scavengers hungry for an easy feast.

    I went to visit Swethyna to break the news myself.

    She took it well but she only did so for her daughter's sake, who clung to her side. I never looked the girl in the eyes, for though she was a child, I felt in my soul that my eyes to her would reveal the truth of the matter and I didn't dare risk victory.

    I gave her time to mourn before asking her to reconsider my offer. It didn't surprise me that she rejected the offer once, defending her decision with the need to provide and remain close to Emmony. If she was working at the palace, I argued, she would never worry about money again. But a mother's connection to her child is something beyond words. She would never leave in such conditions.

   So I tried another route, a more sly one, that resulted in what I wanted.

   Swethyna worked hard to provide for herself and Emmony but she couldn't find work anywhere in the village. Eventually, she had to travel further and further to find whatever work she could for a meager pay but even then, no matter how far she traveled, there were no jobs available. In the coming weeks, as I visited her once in a while, I noticed the growing burden on her shoulder, the sag in her posture as she sat with weary eyes trained on the floor. She was a woman at the brink of her existence, tired from life- exactly where I wanted her to be when I brought my offer for the third time. And this time, as her eyes dragged up to meet mine, she listened.

    I told her since I would not allow Emmony to reside in the palace I had selected a place for her to stay in the village. A pleasant, hardworking family that would care for her as if she were one of their own, she'd be safer and happier there with other children to play with and a steady environment. I'd learned over the years, a mother likes to feel their child is in the best situation even if it isn't with them so I played on that, convincing my friend with honeyed words.

    Finally, I broke her and she gave in with a resigning sigh, closing her eyes in exhaustion.

   "Everything will be better now, Swethyna," I reassured her, glancing out the window to where Emmony rough played in the yard. "You will see."

   The last tender moment between the two of them was when we were about to depart, leaving Emmony with the family I had chosen to care for her in her mother's absence. It struck me how the child never cried or caused a scene as her mother tearfully kissed and embraced her. It irritated me in some way. Perhaps she was too young- or incompetent- to understand the situation, but Swethyna took it as resilient bravery. Internally, when she said that to me, I bristled but never let my thoughts be known.

    The whole trip back to the palace with her, Swethyna was filled with dread that she had done the wrong thing but I reassured her.

   "Every opportunity the Fates bless us with we must reach for. You will not regret this decision. Emmony will thank you for it someday, your sacrifice."

    "Aye," She stared out at the passing scenes. "But I feel as if I'm abandoning her. She lost her father, now her mother?"

    "You will see. Patience, Swethyna. A patience person is like the most elegant flower in the field."

    We remained in silence the rest of the journey back.

    At first, Swethyna longed for her daughter but as the days went on and weeks came where she could send money, her spirits lifted- she knew her purpose. After all my planning, I finally had my closest and only ally back. But things weren't like they were before.

   Before, we were practically young girls bubbling about with excitement aglow in our eyes and faces, ready to defend each other in every way. But things had shifted and I didn't like it. I no longer felt attach to her, we were different people before but we were strangers to each then. Swethyna was a mother before anything else, the center of her existence was her child and everything pertained to her. It frustrated me and that frustration festered with each passing day.

    It was then I realized once and for all that I was set above the rest and that meant being on my path alone. No more false connections.

    I began to treat Swethyna like she was: a mere servant set to complete her job. She was confused by my distance, at first, but after a week or so, she accepted the new terms of our relation and held me at arms' length as well. She now only remained to provide for Emmony- the one she truly treasured.

    It seemed all my planning, my pondering, was for nought. In the end, I nearly felt guilty for the life loss but Swethyna never knew my hand behind it all- and if she did she never let on. But looking back, I realized death was needed to grant Swethyna the position she had now. I rarely ever thought of Rycas again, but I did wonder at his last thoughts.

    He never even knew the scroll was blank.