Amber

"Luna? Amber?"

Oliver's voice ran through my head. I opened my eyes to see him standing in front of me. My sleep fogged mind first struggled to figure out where I was and why Devon wasn't with me.

It came back quickly. I was in a chair in the room with the poor little freed children, and Devon was off fighting and in Danger. My heart pounded at the thought.

Since I assumed Oliver was using the mind link not to wake the children, I did the same. "What is it?" I was afraid of his answer, but I had to know. Was Devon hurt? That wisp in the back of my mind panicked at the thought.

"The battle is over and we prevailed, but Devon needs you."

I nearly melted with relief at his first statement, and then confusion at his second.

"What's wrong?"

"Seems he's lost control of his wolf."                                                        

"Is that a thing?"

"He was quite injured—"

"What!?"

"He's not in mortal Danger, but his wolf took control and we can't get through to him. Devon's wolf is very strong, Amber, but he'll listen to you."

My hands shook at the slightest unease in Oliver's voice. He was tense and clearly trying not to worry me.

"Take me to him."

—————

It took too long to travel to Devon, although it was only about an hour's journey. There was something troubling about a hunter base being so close to our territory without our knowledge, but that wasn't what I was concerned about at the moment.

We stopped on an expanse of highway with nothing in sight but silent forest. I glanced at Oliver nervously. "Where is he?"

"He keeps running off. They tried to catch him, but he's fast and getting close is Dangerous."

"How am I supposed to find him?"

"Well, we'll walk around, calling through the mind link and hopefully we'll run into him. If he hears your voice or catches your scent, he'll probably find us."

Devon and his wolf would never hurt me, but something about how I was monster bait made me still want to run away.

But it wasn't just any monster, it was Devon, and I wasn't just going to leave him. Not this time.

We began our trek, me, Oliver, and the other wolves who had come along to guard me. I was glad Oliver had told me to wear comfortable sturdy clothing, since after a couple of hours of walking through the predawn light, we still hadn't found my mate. I continued to call out to him through the mind link, but I got no response. "Are we lost?" I asked Oliver.

"No, and even if we were we'd follow our scent trail back."

I hadn't thought of that.

As we continued, I began to feel despair. What if he really was lost to me? I had just figured out how much he meant, and now... Tears began to well up in my eyes.

Finally after far too much time had passed, a long, mournful howl split the sounds of the forest. Even the crickets stopped chirping as if they wanted to hide their presence. I turned my head in the direction it came from. "Devon!?"

"Oh good, it's my brother. This should be fun," Oliver said tersely, making me wonder just how bad it was going to be.

We walked in Devon's general direction, and my question was soon answered as a loud growl rent the air and the guard directly behind me slammed to the ground as Devon's large, snarling wolf landed on him. He didn't stop to finish him, thankfully, but instead moved towards me, pushing his body against me so hard I almost fell over. He swivelled to face Oliver and the others while baring his teeth.

"Hey, Brother. We brought you your mate." Oliver added in my head, "Good luck, Amber."

"You're just leaving me?"

"He's not going to hurt you. The rest of us, though..."

He had a good point.

"We won't be far if you need us," Oliver promised.

"Okay."

They backed off. Devon's wolf watched the direction they left until long after I could no longer detect them. Finally his body relaxed, and he turned and rubbed up against me.

"Hey, Wolf, I'm glad to see you're still alive."

He pressed in harder against me and I finally did lose my balance and fell backwards. He whined in a way that I imagined was apologetic. I relaxed at the reminder that Devon's wolf wasn't just a beast. He was the wild part of Devon.

I smiled at him. He licked my face and nuzzled closer. It was sweet, but a bit awkward, sitting on the damp ground with a needy wolf I needed to calm.

Except he already seemed calm. How did I coax Devon's human consciousness back out in calmness hadn't done it? "Hey Devon? Are you in there?" I asked tentatively. The wolf didn't seem concerned, but he also didn't respond. He licked my face again, before lying on the ground, curling his huge heavy body on and around mine protectively.

"You know I love your wolf half, but I also need the human side. I hope you're still in there."

He didn't move, so I just sat there, flexing my fingers through his fur. He seemed to like that, so I kept it up.

"I just found out how important you are to me, and I don't want to lose any part of you, Devon. Just let me know you're still in there, too, please?"

He flicked his ears, but it was just as likely him listening to the sounds around us as anything else, so I cautioned myself not to get my hopes up.

"It's kind of like you said when I didn't want to shift back. I'll really miss your human body if you don't. Kissing you, all that other stuff we just started doing. And one day, I was going to have your baby, right? Can't do that if you keep sleeping in there."

I was starting to feel desperate. I just needed one word from his human side, an indication that he was still himself. My eyes teared up.

"I really do think I love you, Devon. No, I know I do. If this isn't love, then there's no such thing."

His only response was to nuzzle his maw more firmly against me.

I tried to nudge a response from him, over and over, and I got more desperate with each failed attempt. He noticed my unhappiness and whined pitifully at me.

The tears came and wouldn't stop. "Devon, I can't live without you."

It was like a whisper in the back of my mind, but it was enough to bring back my hope. "You don't...I'm just...tired..."

I was excited, but I was still sitting in the forest with a huge wolf holding me down with his affectionate weight. I tried squirming out, but he simply repositioned himself on me again. "Could you let me up?" I asked him, and he nuzzled me again. I was too weak to have even a chance of getting my way when he was like this.

I really didn't want to do it, but I couldn't think of a better option. I focused on that little ball of emotional intention now residing in the back of my mind, and tried to lure her out. I focused my attention on the fact my wolf mate was right here with us, and on my memories of dreams and that one time I ran with Devon.

Her attention perked up, just slightly, and I ran my hands over his fur, and then, I started to shift.

I wish I could have said it wasn't painful that time, but it was, although less than the first like Devon had promised. My bones popped and cracked and my nerves screamed, but in only a few minutes I had shifted and managed to wiggle out from under him and onto my four paws. Devon's wolf's attention was fully on me—as if it had ever left—and his ears were forward in excitement and his tail thumped the ground. He licked me—her—with excitement. She returned the gesture.

I sat back and didn't try to take control while our wolves properly met each other. It was honestly kind of strange to be like a passenger in my own—in her own—body. Finally, I pushed myself forward, and began to lead Devon out of the forest. He followed like an obedient pup, because it seemed he would follow her anywhere.

"He's still a wolf, but he whispered to me, and I'm bringing him out of the forest," I told Oliver.

"Knew you could do it, Amber."

I sighed since this ordeal was probably not over, but the important part was that we were going home.