Peeta

I jumped awake, my arms reaching out for her.

Where was Katniss?

Where was I?

I woke up surrounded by pillows and blankets whiter than snow, softer than clouds. I sat up, running my fingers through my blonde hair, my eyes scanning a room I had never seen before.

I ran through my last thoughts, trying to process how or why I was here. The only thing I could remember was the arena. The last scene I remembered was Finnick, Johanna, and Beetee separating Katniss from me. I remembered her lips on mine before hell broke loose.

I heard her scream out in pain, causing me to freeze in my tracks. Johanna and Katniss were supposed to be getting the wire into the salt water to electrocute the beach and anyone near the wet sand.

Before I could think, my feet took off. "Katniss!" I shouted, calling out to her. Everyone began scrambling in the dark. Fear grew thick in the hot, muggy air. The clicks of the beetles were dying down, signaling it was almost midnight. I had no idea who was who. Trees and branches cut my arms and legs as I sprinted to where I thought her screams came from.

Suddenly, my prosthetic leg caught on a vine and I tumbled to the ground. I let out a groan as my body smashed into the hard dirt. But all I could think of was her and what could be happening to her at the moment. She couldn't die.

A bright flash in the sky illuminated the scene around me, showing two shadows standing near me. I scrambled to my feet, no idea who I was currently up against. I had to stay alive so I could protect Katniss.

I watched as one of the shadow jabbed at the other. I instantly recognized the scream as Chaff's. Suddenly, a cannon boomed, signaling that Haymitch's best friend was just murdered in front of me.

I don't know what went though my head.

I always told myself I wouldn't kill anyone unless they threatened Katniss, but I charged at Brutus. I felt a burning in my chest for this tribute, wanting to avenge Chaff. I had to make things right for Haymitch.

We struggled, me trying to pin Brutus to the ground and him trying to kick me off. Somehow in the fight, I had killed him. For some unknown reason that my mind can't connect, I managed to overpower him in that dark, sticky arena.

Another cannon boomed and I knew it was Brutus. I stood up, feeling his hot, thick blood on my hands. Almost instantly, I felt the need to throw up. But her voice startled me. "Peeta!" She cried out.

"Katniss!" I shouted,back, running towards her. I had to reach her. She had to know I was okay, that none of the cannons were for my death. "Katniss!"

Someone was near me.

I could hear them panting and smacking at the leaves in front of them. Everyone in this arena was now my enemy. Everyone except Katniss. I couldn't trust any of the others now that we were thrown into this chaotic brawl.

The alliance was officially over.

"Peeta! I'm here! I'm here!" She called louder. I picked up my pace, trying to keep with the enemy racing me, but I was too slow. Speed had never been my specialty, but ever since I lost my leg I mainly relied on my strength and wit. "I'm here! I'm here!"

"Katniss!" I cried out.

"Peeta!"

Before I could reach her, the clouds above began to swirl in ominous circles, wrapping around the lightning tree. The air began to feel thicker, giving me a feeling like I was paddling through mud.

From my angle, I could see a glint of something pointed towards the force field.

I could make out her body shape as she let her arrow fly. Her screams filled my ears as bright lightning flashed across the sky, hitting the tree. I was flung backwards from the force as a long, blinding streak launched towards the force field.

Sounds like fireworks boomed around us. I couldn't move. I could hardly keep my eyes open as sparks flew around me. Large chucks of the arena began dropping to the ground as I felt myself being lifted into the air.

Before I could process what was happening, I passed out into darkness only to wake up here.

Wherever here was.

"Glad to see you're finally awake, Mr. Mellark." A voice spoke. My head whipped towards the door on my left side. The way he was dressed and his distinctive accent told me where I was.

I was in the Capitol cradled in President Snow's mansion.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked, studying him. His aqua blue hair and makeup reminded me of the salt water in the arena, only I didn't have Finnick to save me from drowning now.

"A few days. But it has been needed to help heal you." He answered nearly monotonous. His face showed no expression, putting me on edge.

"Heal me?" I asked, now looking down at my body. Sure enough, all of my cuts and bruises were healed. I was clean again, my hands no longer caked from Brutus' blood.

"President Snow would like to speak with you." He declared, turning on his heels. I lifted the heavy covers from my body and followed behind his stranger. As we wandered the halls, I tried my best to memorize my way around here. Who knows when I might need this information.

I was lead into a highly secured area, having to be fingerprinted at every door. It would take a lot of work to try to sneak back here again.

The last pair of dark wood doors opened for me, showcasing the snake himself. A smile grew on his puffy lips as he caught sight of me. "Well rested, Mr. Mellark?" He asked.

"Where's Katniss?" I fired back, her being the only thought on my mind. If she was somewhere in this dreaded place, I had to know where.

"My, so eager to find to the precious mockingjay," he grinned. I arched my eyebrows, slightly tilting my head. "Please, sit down. Make yourself comfortable."

Following his orders, I sat down on the plush chair in front of his desk. Even from here, I could smell the roses in the vase on his desk. Something about them made my throat burn and I felt like I had to cough.

"Do you know why you are here, Mr. Mellark?" He began, folding his hands and resting them in his lap. I shook my head, watching him intently. "During the Quarter Quell, Katniss fired an arrow that blew out the entire arena. Thankfully, we were able to rescue you, Miss Mason, and Enobaria."

"What about Katniss? What happened to her?" I interrupted, fear beginning to pump into my veins.

"This is why I like you, Mr. Mellark," he grinned. "You don't hide your feelings. It's been obvious since the beginning that you've been hopelessly in love with Miss Everdeen and it's obvious now that you care for her."

I bit on my lower lip, trying to read his emotions, but he was a pro at hiding them. I furrowed my eyebrows, praying he would drop a hint as to where she could possibly be. "If you care so much for Miss Everdeen, I would advise staying quiet until spoken to. Do you think we can manage that?" He asked.

I nodded my head. "Good," he smiled. "Miss Everdeen, Mr. Odair, and Mr. Latier were captured by rebels and transported to District 13." He answered. Trying to keep my end of his deal, my mouth stayed shut. Admiring my obedience, he slightly smirked and nodded towards me.

"District Thirteen?" I asked. "I thought it was still radioactive. No one could possibly live there."

He chuckled, his beady eyes meeting mine. "My, you sure are a gullible boy," he commented. I furrowed my eyebrows, offended. He took notice, his smile fading. "Gullible is too offensive, isn't it? I would use innocent to describe you, Mr. Mellark."

"If you've known about District Thirteen this whole time, why have you kept it a secret?" I asked.

"My boy, there's plenty of secrets no one knows about." He taunted, his puffy lips curving upwards.

A soft knock was on the door then it was opened. "Mr. President, Caesar Flickerman is ready." 

President Snow grinned, his eyes meeting mine again. "Want to protect Miss Everdeen?" He asked.

xxx

"So . . . Peeta . . . welcome back."

"I bet you thought you'd done your last interview with me." I slightly smiled, trying to keep my hands from trembling. My job was simple. I was supposed to keep the districts from uprising. That's all.

"I confess, I did," Caesar said. "The night before the Quarter Quell . . . well, who ever thought we'd see you again?" He asked, leaning towards me. Usually, Caesar and I have an easy banter, our personalities matching perfectly. But not tonight.

"It wasn't part of my plan, that's for sure." I frowned. I couldn't help but think of Katniss. I wasn't supposed to survive. I was supposed to die in that arena.

"I think it was clear to all of us what your plan was. To sacrifice yourself in the arena so that Katniss Everdeen and your child could survive." Caesar replied, studying me. If only he knew.

"That was it. Clear and simple." I sighed, tracing the pattern on the arm of the chair. Was she watching this? Was she okay? "But other people had plans as well."

Suddenly, I felt angry. People used us in that arena. Just like I'm being used now as some political image. I'm another piece in a game I never signed up for. Why couldn't I have just died in that arena?

"Why don't you tell us about that last night in the arena?" Caesar asked, catching me off guard. I forgot I was still on camera. "Help us sort a few things out." He added, helping to bring me back to the matter at hand.

I nodded. This was where my part of the deal came in. This was the whole point of me being broadcasted to this demanding dictatorship. But, I take my time, thinking my words through. "That last night . . . to tell you about that last night . . . well, first of all, you have to imagine how it felt in the arena. It was like being an insect trapped under a bowl filled with steaming air. And all around you, jungle . . . green and alive and ticking. That giant clock ticking away your life. Every hour promising some new horror. You have to imagine that in the past two days, sixteen people have died -some of them defending you. At the rate things are going, the last eight will be dead by morning. Save one. The victor. And your plan is that it won't be you."

Caesar nodded, making me feel like I had to explain more. I went in depth, telling him what I replayed in my mind just this morning. "Once you're in the arena, the rest of the world becomes very distant. All of the people and things you loved and cared about almost cease to exist. The pink sky and the monsters in the jungle and the tributes who want your blood become your final reality, the only one that ever mattered. As bad as it makes you feel, you're going to have to do some killing, because in the arena, you only get one wish. And it's very costly."

"It costs your life," Caesar quickly said, acting like he understands. But he doesn't. How could he?

"Oh, no. It costs a lot more than your life. To murder innocent people?" I replied. "It costs everything you are."

"Everything you are," Caesar quietly repeated.

The room was quiet and I knew I was stepping over the line. No one ever takes about what it's like in the arena, at least not to this depth.

But since I know I was already doing wrong, I continued. "So you hold on to your wish. And that last night, yes, my wish was to save Katniss. But even without knowing about the rebels, it didn't feel right. Everything was too complicated. I found myself regretting I hadn't run off with her earlier in the day, as she had suggested. But there was no getting out of it at that point."

"You were too caught up in Beetee's plan to electrify the salt lake," Caesar excused, trying to calm the emotions building up inside of me. But whatever he was going to say couldn't stop the anger inside of me.

"Too busy playing allies with the others. I should have never let them separate us!" I blurted out, unable to control my anger. "That's when I lost her."

"When you stayed at the lightning tree, and she and Johanna Mason took the coil of wire down to the water," Caesar clarified, trying help everyone connect the pieces from the chaotic night in the arena.

"I didn't want to!" I fired back, still upset. They had to know that I didn't want to leave her side. That that wasn't my idea at all! "But I couldn't argue with Beetee without indicating we were about to break away from the alliance. When that wire was cut, everything just went insane. I can only remember bits and pieces. Trying to find her. Watching Brutus kill Chaff. Killing Brutus myself. I know she was calling my name. Then the lightning bolt hit the tree, and the force field around the arena . . . blew out."

"Katniss blew it out, Peeta," Caesar said, causing my jaw to tighten. He couldn't possibly be blaming all of this on her. "You've seen the footage." Yeah, just before I was seated in this uncomfortable chair. Dressed in this tight suit. After my deal with President Snow.

I felt a sudden need to defend her. Though it would be completely against my agreement with President Snow, I let my mouth fly without thinking. "She didn't know what she was doing. None of us could follow Beetee's plan. You can see her trying to figure out what to do with that wire," I snapped back.

"All right. It just looks suspicious," Caesar defended, holding up his hands. The more he added to his statements, the angrier I got. Couldn't he see that he was saying all of the wrong things? "As if she was part of the rebels' plan all along."

My body acted before I could tell it to. I was onto my feet, leaning close to Caesar's face. My hands gripped the arms of his chair, steading myself to resist from toppling over . . . and to restrain myself from hitting him. "Really? And was it part of her plan for Johanna to nearly kill her? For that electric shock to paralyze her? To trigger the bombing?" I shouted. "She didn't know, Caesar! Neither of us knew anything except that we were trying to keep each other alive!"

I could feel his hand shaking as it rested against my chest. A gesture, really, to tell me to calm down and for him to protect himself. "Okay, Peeta, I believe you."

"Okay." I replied, slumping back into my chair. I ran my shaking hands through my slick, blonde hair, trying to bring down my heart rate.

Caesar paused, as if waiting to see if I would lose my temper again. I noticed his eyes staring at me, as if he was listening to someone else. Then I noticed the earpiece on him. "What about your mentor, Haymitch Abernathy?"

What about him? My heart began to harden at the thought him. I felt betrayed by him, kept in the dark. He had promised to tell me everything in District 11. But I couldn't throw him under the bus. As angry as I was at him, I still cared about him. "I don't know what Haymitch knew."

And really, I don't.

"Could he have been part of the conspiracy?" Caesar pressed.

"He never mentioned it." I said through gritted teeth.

"What does your heart tell?" Caesar continued.

To tell you to shut up. "That I shouldn't have trusted him," I replied instead. "That's all."

Cautiously, Caesar reached out and patted my shoulder. The gesture is forced. "We can stop now if you want."

"Was there more to discuss?" I asked, wryly. I know there's more that I'm supposed to say.

"I was going to ask your thoughts on the war, but if you're too upset . . ." Caesar explained, a look of sympathy that I know is to be played for the cameras.

"Oh, I'm not too upset to answer that." I replied. I took a deep breath and looked into the camera. Inside, I was able to see my reflection. Flawless skin. Styled, blonde waves. And bright, yet crazed, blue eyes. "I want everyone watching -whether you're on the Capitol or the rebel side- to stop for just a moment and think about what this war could mean. For humans beings. We almost went extinct fighting one another before. Now our numbers are even fewer. Our conditions more tenuous. Is this really what we want to do? Kill ourselves off completely? In the hopes that- what? Some decent species will inherit the smoking remains of the earth?"

"I don't really . . . I'm not sure I'm following . . ." Caesar interrupted, confusion on his face. This wasn't on my card. Oh, no.

"We can't fight one another, Caesar," I explained. "There won't be enough of us left to keep going. If everybody doesn't lay down their weapons -and I mean, as in very soon- it's all over, anyway."

"So. . . you're calling for a cease-fire?" Caesar asked, trying to dissect my recent rant.

"Yes. I'm calling for a cease-fire," I sighed, rolling my eyes. This is not my idea. I know I'm probably turning away shakier districts, but I have no choice. This is the only way to protect Katniss. In the back of my mind, all I can picture is District Twelve and the starving children I saw in Katniss's home and on the street. Then I flashback to our Victory Tour and people forcing themselves to throw up in order to stuff themselves again. Suddenly, I need to get out of this stuffy room.  "Now why don't we ask the guards to take me back to my quarters so I can build another hundred card houses?"

There. That outta show how I'm doing in this lovely, little mansion.

"All right. I think that wraps it up. So back to our regularly scheduled program." Caesar signed off as I rose from my seat. There really was no point for me to sit around and wait for some sappy, forced goodbye.

I was lead down the long hallway again, entering President Snow's office. "I thought we had made a deal." Snow glared, the smell of blood present in the room.

"I did exactly what you wanted. I called for a cease-fire." I answered, tightening my fists.

"No. No, you did not do as I said. You did not read from the cards." President Snow growled, holding up his own set as well. He tossed them into the air, having them fall around me like confetti.

I stood as still as a statue. "I'm not going to read from those." I replied, staring into his haunting eyes.

"Fine," Snow growled. "Show him what happens when he doesn't listen."

xxx

Johanna dragged me out of another nightmare with her screams. Instead of my comfortable bed in that suffocating mansion, I was taken to my cell in the Tribute's Center. So much for card houses.

My time here has been painful. Beatings and snarls of threats to Katniss, but I've survived. Of course, they use her as a threat to me, knowing I'd do anything for her. The worst part is hearing the pain Johanna is constantly going through. I'm lucky that I don't know anything about rebels plans.

"Mr. Mellark, here are your next lines." A peacekeeper said as he unlocked my wrists from the chains on my bed. He tossed a few cards into my lap. I picked them, quickly scanning through them and shaking my head with a smile.

"I'm not saying these." I scoffed.

"You don't really have a choice." He snarled, forcefully dragging me back to that dreaded room in the mansion. Another wasteful interview that'll just give me more whippings.

I sat down in the chair. Makeup was powered onto my face to try to hide my sunken cheeks and bruises. Inside, I was forming my own lines. I had to say what I was thinking. But as I sat there, I couldn't remember if these words were mine or from the Capitol.

The makeup crew rushed away as Caesar greeted us. "Peeta, you look very handsome tonight." He grinned.

"Thank you. You don't look too bad yourself." I fired back, plastering on a charming smile. For a while, Caesar and I tossed back empty comments. None of them held any meaning or significance.

"Peeta, why do you think Katniss is doing these propos for the rebels?" Caesar asked, finally getting to the real reason we were meeting.

"They're using her, obviously," I answered though I had no idea what to think. "To whip up the rebels. I doubt she even really knows what's going on in the war. What's at stake?"

Unless she was doing the same thing I was.

Saying whatever she had to to keep me safe.

"Is there anything you'd like to tell her?" Caesar asked.

"There is," I nodded. Having the thought of her doing whatever to save me, I turned to the camera. "Don't be a fool, Katniss. Think for yourself. They've turned you into a weapon that could be instrumental in the destruction of humanity. If you've got any real influence, use it to put the brakes on this thing. Use it to stop the war before it's too late. Ask yourself, do you really trust the people you're working with? Do you really know what's going on? And if you don't . . . find out."

I knew for a fact I didn't know either one for my situation. I had no idea what Snow's plan was and I definitely didn't trust him.

xxx

I was no longing being punished for my performances on camera. Instead, they were from Katniss being broadcasted. Anytime a new propo would appear in the districts I would receive extra beatings. Do they even know what pain they're causing us here?

I laid on my cell bed, my eyes pinched shut. I mumbled to myself, trying to come out of my last nightmare. My most recent ones have been of Katniss. They usually consist of her pretending to love me and luring me to her side, only for her to kill me by her long, sharp claws or hidden fangs.

"Having fun, Peeta?" Johanna called out, her voice trembling. She just finished her daily shock of the day. Which, if you can believe it, happens more than once a day.

"Fun isn't what I would call it." I replied back. At least I still had Johanna. At this point, she was the only one keeping me sane.

"I think I've got your screams down now," she said. "Your voice gets higher while you're being drugged with the tracker jacker venom. I'm not gonna lie, it does send chills up my back."

I chuckled. "You scream louder when they higher the voltage over there," I fired back. "Maybe next time you'll be lucky enough for it to kill you."

"Please, I'd never get that much mercy in this prison." She laughed.

Opening my cell door was a peacekeeper. I wasn't surprised in the least by his appearance, but I was surprised by his lack of weapons. He wasn't holding a syringe or whip.

"Get up, mutt." He growled, shoving me to the ground. He grabbed my hair, pulling me to my feet. I let out a faint whine as a few strands were plucked from my scalp.

I was shoved towards back to mansion. Even though they thought I was losing my mind, I intently listened to their soft conversations. I smiled as my lines began to grew in my head. I knew what I had to say, but would I be able to remember it when the time came? I could hardly remember my own name anymore, let alone this new information.

I was pushed back to that awful interview room. More makeup and more cameras. My body began to tremble. Suddenly, it was like I was losing all grip on reality. What was I doing here again? What was I supposed to say?

I was sat down in a different chair. Instead of Caesar, it was President Snow beside me. Afraid of his presence, my prosthetic leg began to shake. I was angry. Angry with the change of the usual interview.

I jumped as President Snow began to speak. Sweat broke out on my forehead and I could feel it trailing down my face. I couldn't focus. Images of Katniss killing me and her kissing me began to fight for dominance in my head.

I looked down at my hands, reading the cards. "A cease-fire is our only option at this point." I began, anger present in my veins. I was mad that I couldn't figure what I was doing here. What was my purpose again?

As I continued reading, suddenly, she flashed across the screen. Around her was a pile of rubble. Why did it seem so familiar to me?

I blinked as it was back in my face again. Maybe I imagined it. I went back to my cards, trying to continue with this terrible interview that was bound to get me more beatings.

Suddenly, Finnick appeared.

Finnick.

He was my friend.

No, enemy.

No, friend.

What was he?

"Clearly the rebels are now attempting to disrupt us, but truth and justice shall prevail," President Snow spoke, getting me from me from my thoughts. "Peeta, do you have any parting thoughts for Katniss Everdeen?" He asked.

Katniss.

I had to protect her.

I had to warn her.

"Katniss . . . how do you think this will end? What will be left? No one is safe. Not in the Capitol. Not in the districts. And you . . . in Thirteen . . . " I declared. I took a deep breath, trying to keep my thoughts. She had to know. She had to be kept safe. "Dead by morning!" I shouted, making sure she heard me.

"End it!" President Snow commanded.

Around me, feet began to shuffle. I knew I had made a huge mistake. Images of Katniss flashed by on the screen as the peacekeepers grew closer and closer. "Katniss, they're sending in bombs! They're planning on killing you can District Thirteen!" I shouted, hoping they could hear me over the commotion. A camera smashed to the floor as their fists were raised high into the air.

I let out a small plea, only to be punched to the ground. I let out a groan of pain as I felt hot liquid growing around me.

xxx

I've been strapped to this bed for days. My only thoughts consist of Katniss. Her sickening fangs and her deadly claws. Her large gray eyes that seem to always be watching me. I'm not safe until she's dead.

Katniss Everdeen is a mutt created by the Capitol to kill me.

They tell me that she'll be here any day now.

Any day now, I'll be her next meal.

At her name, I freeze in terror.

I will not die at the hands of Katniss Everdeen.

I will kill her first.

Smoke began to fill in my cell. I cried out in fear, thinking it was another way of Katniss taunting me. Maybe she was hidden in the thick, poisonous fog from the arena, stalking me. Before I could find out, everything went dark.

xxx

When I woke up, it was clear that I wasn't in my usual cell.

Doctors still tended to me, but they were kinder.

I was terrified of their gentle touches.

I waited for their harsh impact of a needle.

Instead, I heard her voice. I turned around, seeing her standing just a few feet in front of me.

Her haunting gray eyes met mine, sending a rush of fear through my veins. I was so afraid, I couldn't move. I felt my body tensing up until she rushed at me. It was like an out of body experience.

Suddenly, I watched myself pounce onto my enemy, tackling her to the ground. I had to use all of my force to keep her down. I had to protect myself before her sharp teeth could grow out from her throat. I pushed down on her neck, trying to keep them from appearing. I stared into her eyes, watching her life began to drain. Just a little bit more before her nails could grow into long knives to slice my face. Gasps of air came out of her lips instead of lies of love like she had used to trick me in those Games. Her hands pawed as mine, but it was pointless. She couldn't lure me to my death if she couldn't breath.

Something smacked the head of my head, sending everything black.

Did I kill her?

Did I win?

Maybe, just maybe, my greatest enemy, Katniss Everdeen, was finally dead.

~~~~~~~~~~