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"are you sure about this?" haymitch asks me.

"yes..." i say silently. i've never been more sure of anything since the reaping. when i chose to stop mourning the life i lost, to start enjoying the perks of being a tribute, and to turn off my humanity - all of it was just a spur of the moment decision but deciding to save kit was something i knew was right and was exactly what i wanted to do.

up until now i didn't know if i was going to try to win or not even though i said i accepted my death. now everything is falling into place and i'm going to enter the arena knowing exactly what i'm choosing to do. "my father told me to use my knowledge to win, but he also said not to forget who i am and i wouldn't be me if i didn't help kit. i'm not a killer, and i'm not a violent person."

i look at haymitch for the first time since i told him my plan and see tears in his eyes. i didn't even realize i was crying too until now. "haymitch, promise me that you'll do everything you can to get kit sponsors. don't try to get me any, it's about kit now, okay?"

"you're willing to give up your life to save his?"

"i knew i was dead the moment i heard vivian call my name, no matter how hard i didn't want to believe it," a small smile played on my lips. "there was this boy back in district 12 who came to say good bye to me. he begged me not to let kit turn off his humanity and he told me to at least try because he owed him one. i don't know what kit did to make this boy care enough about him to come to me but it had to have been something good. i don't know him that well but that is enough to make my decision."

haymitch walked toward me and looked me right in the eyes, "you're really brave, davina. i've met a lot of people but i've never met anyone like you."

with that, we embrace each other. i feel closer to haymitch now that we have a common goal. i'm scared of dying but for the first time i've fully accepted it. there's not a sliver of doubt in my mind.

-

we all meet down on a secret floor. kit, clean, in jeans and a gray shirt, stood with his back against a wall. i'm being paranoid and looking all over the room for hidden cameras that could catch us. having another mentor train us is against the rules and even being on the same floor as theron could be disastrous but i admit i could use the extra training help, especially if i'm going to be any help to kit.

"this floor is vacant, davina." theron said with an eye roll. "no one ever comes to this floor because it's used as a storage room." that explains the boxes.

"okay," i say and finally stop looking. "but how can we be sure we can trust you? you haven't told us anything regarding who you are except your name."

"i'm a mentor for district 1." was all he said. he was laying out mats on the floor, getting it ready to train.

"whoa, there," kit says sarcastically. "that's a lot of information to handle in one day."

theron chuckled and finished laying down the last mat. "district 1 has a lot of other mentors at their disposal because so many of their tributes have won the hunger games. district 1 tributes, or as i call them, little snobs, don't think of their mentors as people who are there to train them. they think of our victors as competition. they want to make their games better than the ones previous victors have won. for instance, they try to get more kills than us and make their kills more frightening."

"okay, but why are you helping us?"

"what? was that not obvious?" he asked, looking from me to kit. "because i hate them. they're cocky and arrogant and need to be taught a lesson."

haymitch finally comes back from calling vivian and telling her that we won't be there for dinner because we're exploring the building. which isn't technically a lie, we're exploring a floor we've never been on before. "and theron is a good friend of mine."

"i don't care if you don't trust me," theron says. "i just want you to win." i'm still weary about the whole thing but i trust haymitch and if he thinks theron is truly on our side then so will i.

while kit is helping theron hang punching bags from the ceiling, i talk to haymitch. "theron knows we want kit to win, right?"

"i told him but he's going to push you just as hard as kit," he said. "theron was sixteen when he won the games the year after mine. he's ruthless and he knows what he's doing."

"so he's only 18 years old?"

"with exceptional skill."

the next few hours are painful and tiring. theron is relentless, forcing us through round and round of exercises meant to fine-tune our strengths. of course, i fall behind in all of them because the strength i have is my knowledge, but kit is shockingly good at everything.

"climb it," theron said as he hung a rope from the roof.

kit takes a running start before jumping up and grabbing hold of the rope. he reaches the top in a matter of seconds and climbs down effortlessly. theron applauded him and motioned for me to try. with a sigh, i start to climb. i get halfway when my fear of heights finally kicks in and i slide down an inch. the rope rubbed at my skin, making it burn so bad that i instinctively let go.

the world rushes by in a blur and i know the pain is coming. it goes by fast, yet slow, almost suspended. but the pain never comes because when i open my eyes i'm staring into theron's blue ones. "easy there, little one." he sounds breathless, like even he thought i was going to hit the ground before he reached me.

my whole body feels numb as he lowers me down to the floor. "lay down, catch your breath," he told me.

i lay on my back and close my eyes, trying to calm myself down. "is she okay?" i hear kit asking. "is she hurt?"

"she'll be fine," theron replied but there's worry in his voice. "she's just in shock. there will be three days in which all the tributes practice together. i'd tell you to meet me here instead but those three training sessions are mandatory. on the last afternoon, you'll each get a chance to perform in private before the gamemakers. meet me here before then and i'll give you a few tips on how to impress the judges."

"make sure she's okay," i hear haymitch whisper to kit, then the sound of his and theron's footsteps leave the room, discussing with each other.

i can hear kit lay down beside me but still, i don't open my eyes. it's quiet for a few minutes, then he says so quietly that i can barely hear him. "don't turn it off, davina."

my heart rate picks up speed and i open my eyes, turning my head to look at him. his eyes look sad, or maybe it's just me but it shocks me. "why not?" i whisper.

"because everything that makes you you will be gone, and when the time comes for you to turn it back on, you won't be the same. you won't be the davina i know and the thought of losing that girl is scarier than entering the arena."

"don't, kit," i plead, my eyes watering. "don't make this any harder than it has to be. only one comes out, remember?" that sentence seems to be a recurring thing between us, and little does he know that i intend for it to be him.

"and it's going to be you," he says confidently before standing up and walking away.

i bite my tongue, trying to hold the tears that threatened to leave my eyes. and that's when i can't hold them back. first, one small crystal bead escapes from my right eye. i can feel the warmth, sliding down my cheek, and rolling off my chin. then another. and another. until my eyes flood with them, coming like a rainfall. sniffing every ten seconds, they fall, and fall, and i let them.

*
AN:

i love this chapter!!!! lol please vote<3