XXX

me and haymitch talked for hours after kit left. he told me what'll happen when we arrive in the capital, what to expect when entering the arena and the careers. career tributes are always the strongest, most agile, and most flexible players in the hunger games, having been prepared and trained since they were born. even though training tributes before the games begin is technically illegal, the career districts generally get away with this because of their wealth and closer ties to the capitol.

"do they turn off their humanity?" i asked. i always go back to the humanity switch. it's the thing i'm most interested about and i want to find out everything i can about it before i have to decide whether or not to turn mine off.

"the careers? not usually," said haymitch. "the tributes that come from poorer districts are usually the ones to choose to go in with no humanity, but every set of tributes is different."

"did you?"

"yes," he paused. "i was reaped in the second quarter quell when i was sixteen. there were 100% as many tributes. i think everyone turned off their humanity that year. if i had the chance to go back and change my choice, i wouldn't. the games are violent and it's better to just let it all go."

i'm suddenly remembering the boy that came to say goodbye back in district 12. it's about kit. i know what he's going to do regarding his humanity, and i'm begging you not to let him turn it off. after hearing what haymitch said, i don't know how i can convince someone else to change their choice, especially kit nightlock.

i looked at the clock and realized it was 2 in the morning. "i should go to bed," i said and got off the couch, but stopped and added, "haymitch, thank you for mentoring us. i want to thank you on kit's behalf too, just in case he doesn't tell you himself."

haymitch is only 19 and has to mentor tribute after tribute, i can't even begin to imagine what that would feel like. "don't thank me yet, davina."

i don't know what he means by that but i nod and head to my room. it's bigger than i thought it would be and far more glamorous than my room back at home. even though it's filled with nice furniture, it feels empty.

i stand in the doorway for a long time, feeling the weight of losing everything from my room to my father. i suddenly understand what haymitch meant by, don't thank me yet. i have to win the games first. as much as i want to believe that i'll survive, i know my chances are slim to none.

without changing my clothes, i climb into the bed and cover my entire body with the blankets. just for tonight, i let myself mourn the life that i lost. in the morning i will enjoy the food, the warm water, the never dying electricity, the clean clothes and every other perk that comes with being a tribute because i want to enjoy the last few days i'm alive.

*

AN:

short chapter but the next one will be longer, i promise! this was basically just a filler chapter (which i hate too but they need to be written)