XXX

i feel sick to my stomach as me and kit find an empty mat. thankfully training is only half the day today, but tomorrow it's a full day and we'll be fighting against other tributes. it's no wonder haymitch stormed out of the dining room this morning, refusing to talk to us. he knew this was routine and he hated it just as much as i did.

"do you remember what," kit looked around. "haymitch taught us that first day? he gave us some combat tips. i think we should practice those today."

he's really talking about theron, who was the one to teach us, but he had to be discreet from listening ears around us. i nod and lift up my arms, shielding myself. we haven't practiced these since that first day because we were learning about knives. we're not allowed to practice with anything else but ours hands today.

kit swings his leg under mine, causing me to fall straight on my back; the force of it knocking the breath out of me. he immediately holds a hand out for me, i take it and he pull me back up. "sorry," he apologized.

"don't be," i say. "it's what we're supposed to be doing."

i look around at the other tributes. half of them are standing still, looking like frightened kittens while titus try's to coach them into doing something. the other half are the tributes from wealthier districts, they don't stand there frightened, they use the opportunity to intimidate the rest of us by showing how tough they are.

caspian and octavia swing at each other but never hit each other because the other is quick to shield themselves. malorie and mason, the siblings, seem to be doing the same thing until malorie jumps onto mason's back and pretends to snap his neck.

beside us are adonis and astrid from district 7. they practice fighting but every so often they make each other laugh. theron called their love story tragic and kit called them stupid, but all i see is two people making the best out of a bad situation.

"hey, wide-eyed girl," i hear astrid say and i stop watching the other tributes train to see that she was talking to me. "is that a tattoo?"

like an idiot i pull down my sleeve and shake my head. "birth mark," i lie.

she shrugs. "alright. i saw your reaping on tape. davina and kit, the other famous couple."

"what? uh-wait, no," i stammer while kit silently laughs. "we're not a couple. i didn't know kit before all of this happened."

"really?" adonis asked in disbelief. "the way you two follow each other around everywhere and interact looked very couple-y."

"wh-what do you mean?" i stutter awkwardly.

"pretty sure i caught you two holding hands on the first day of training," astrid explained. "and like adonis said the way you interact. we just assumed you were together. so why did you volunteer as tribute?"

"i volunteered in davina's boyfriends place," said kit. "they were together. we're just friends."

"oh, well don't tell anyone else because you could get sponsors if people think you're together. the capital will love it," astrid winked and adonis laughed.

"tributes," titus walked toward us. "enough talking and more training."

with a sigh me and kit resume our practice.

"they seem nice," kit said with a smirk.

"maybe they will be our allies," i reply jokingly. "we should meet with theron again tonight. i know we're both exhausted but we're going to need to learn a few combat moves to use for tomorrow. we don't know who we're going to fight against but i'm not feeling too confident. unless we're going to be using our brains to fight, i'm most likely the weakest one here."

"that's not true," kit said, but there was doubt on his face. i know i should be offended but even i knew how fragile i was. my father tried so hard to protect me from every dangerous thing out there but now i'm here and he's far away, mourning me.

training ends and we ride the elevator back up to our floor. surprisingly, once the doors open we immediately see haymitch. he's standing there with an expression i can't explain... maybe horror.

"haymitch, what's wrong?" i ask worriedly.

"theron just called," he answered. "he can't train you anymore."

"if this is about what happened in the elevator, caspian and octavia didn't suspect a thing," i say quickly. "call him back haymitch and i'll tell him."

"it's not that," haymitch said sadly. "the elevator camera is running now and he can't turn it off again. he's already tried. there's no way you can get to his floor without being caught."

my lips parted in surprise. "but... we need him. not just for the training session with the other tributes tomorrow but for the arena, for our private sessions with the judge-"

"davina," kit put his hands on my shoulders so that i would look at him. i could feel my body shaking beneath his fingertips and my breath quickening in panic. "he said there was no way. i'm sorry. we're on our own now."

"we need him." i refused to look away, even as my lips trembled and my shoulders heaved with emotion, unwilling to back down. my hands clenched into shaking fists, in a desperate battle against the grief. a lone tear traced down my cheek, and just like that, the floodgates opened. i wept, tears streaming my eyes, loud, heaving sobs tearing from my throat, and still i did not look away.

not until the sobs drove me to my knees did my determined gaze fall.

*

poor davina, i'm going to go cry now