A/N: Credit to Renowned-Wolf for helping with this chapter.

The episode opens up to panning shots of four monitors. They show a variety of clips from previous episodes showing you, Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie killing targets. They pause on a clip of Blitzo choking on a Boba Pearl.

The camera pans out to show Agent One and Agent Two.

Agent One: Right there! This was the first sighting.

Agent Two: They are definitely from Hell. They must use this dark magic to cross over into our world... and they seem to be killing specifically targeted people. But, why? And why does a Human seem to be working with them?

Agent One: They always attack at random, aaaall over the country. There's no way to predict where they'll show up next!

A loud clattering noise is heard from outside, followed by a stock angry cat sound. The two agents immediately glance over to a barred-up window obscured by heavily damaged blinds. Agent Two makes a gap between the blinds to the outside to see what made that noise. The agents then see the source of all the racket: Blitzo, standing on a box and a dumpster while holding the dumpster lid open. He looks around suspiciously.

Agent Two: Ahhh, well... That's convenient.

Cuts to Blitzo outside, standing on trash bags and holding a dumpster lid open.

Blitzo: Shhhhh! Remember, we can't be seen.

Blitzo slams the dumpster lid loudly, but then falls backwards into a pile of trash bags. Millie silently chuckles at his predicament, then walks away.

Y/N: Says the one responsible for all that banging and crashing.

Blitzo jumps up out of the garbage pile covered in trash; he has an old newspaper on his forehead, a half-eaten lollipop stuck to the side of his head, a scrap of paper on his horn with an old banana peel impaled on the end of it, and a used condom on his index finger, the same finger he uses to poke your face indignantly.

Blitzo: [softly] I said shuuush your pussy-sucking lips, Y/N!

You step away from him, grossed out from Blitzo's condom finger, as you notice a portal opening behind you. Loona is seen on the other end and Millie jumps into it, waving to Moxxie. Moxxie begins to walk towards the portal but is suddenly tackled to the ground by Blitzo, barely missing a net being shot their way.

Blitzo: GET DOWN!

Agent One cocks his net launcher, readying another capture net. Blitzo looks behind him and sees Agent Two jump down on a rope from a building, landing in front of the portal.

Blitzo: CLOSE IT!

Loona: Wait, no!

She tries to run through the portal before it closes, but fails.

The last thing you see before the portal closes is Loona's distraught expression. You growl in anger before facing off against the Agents. Agent Two takes advantage of the distraction and pulls the amulet off your neck and it clatters to the ground.

She blocks a punch before trying to sweep your legs, which you jump over, before hitting her with a roundhouse kick and sending her stumbling into a wall. 

Agent One aims the net launcher, before you knock it aside and punch him in the face, causing him to fall onto a pile of cardboard boxes.

Agent Two pulls out a tranquilizer gun and shoots Moxxie.

Moxxie stumbles, mumbling incoherently, then falls to the ground.

Y/N and Blitzo: MOXXIE!

With quick thinking, Blitzo grabs Moxxie, knocking down the trash can he was hiding behind, and runs away. He smacks Agent Two in the face with Moxxie and keeps on running through the alleyway with you grabbing your amulet and trying and failing to use magic due to the stress you're under.

Moxxie: (slurred) I smell... *sniffs* colors...

You and Blitzo eventually reaches a dead end. The agents waste no time in cornering him. Blitzo raises his gun and you raise your fists, ready to fight.

Y/N: Bring it, you Men in Black rejects!

Blitzo and the agents both ready their guns and prepare for a firefight. But just as Blitzo is about to fire, Agent Two pushes a button on her gun, causing the three of you to be electrocuted. Moxxie is shocked out of Blitzo's grip and Blitzo is zapped a second time from residual charge, dropping his gun and going down for the count. You struggle to stay conscious as Agent One pockets your amulet.

Agent One: *chuckles confidently* I'd like to see the suits at corporate callin' us losers now! That was pretty badass!

Agent Two: *cocks gun* Super badass!

Soon enough, You pass out. 

Meanwhile in the I.M.P. office, Loona is shown desparately scratching at the wall and whining like a dog with tears streaming down her face.

Loona: SHIT! Shit, shit, shit!

Loona wails with her head and hands on the floor. Millie stands behind her with Stolas' Grimoire in her hands, looking concerned.

Millie: You, uh... You okay, there?

Loona suddenly stands up, startling Millie into dropping the Grimoire and holding her hands up defensively.

Loona: Why are you just sitting there?! My Puppy's in trouble! Open it again!

Millie: I want to help them just as much as you do, but Blitzo was using a total of zero euphemisms, innuendos, or swears. That means it was serious, which means we don't open it until--

Consumed by rage and worry for her boyfriend, Loona grabs Millie by her shirt and yanks her up to face level.

Loona: (furious) Open the fucking portal, now!

Cuts to a sequence of Loona and Millie gearing up for a rescue mission. Loona zips a backpack labeled "Blitzø's Emergen-C Bag" closed, an angry Millie twirls and lifts a giant double-headed axe with the 'M' in the middle, and Loona transforms to her human form. The portal opens again, and Millie leaps out and lands in a pose while Loona nonchalantly steps through.

Loona bends down to sniff the ground to track where you, Blitzo, and Moxxie went.

Loona: It smells like they went this way.

Loona drops Millie into the backpack and slings it onto her back, then grabs Millie's axe off the ground, resting it on her shoulder.

Loona: Come on... Let's find Y/N and the dumbass twins.

Loona starts running towards the screen while carrying Millie. Meanwhile, in an unknown location, you wake up and look around groggily. The camera zooms out revealing that You, Moxxie, and Blitzo are tied to chairs. Moxxie panics and briefly struggles to get out, until Agent Two grabs the lamp over their heads and brings it close to your face, causing you to flinch away.

Agent Two: Finally awake, huh, human? *releases the lamp* Your demon partners have been a while now.

The camera zooms out to reveal that not only are Blitzo and Moxxie tied up, but their tails are wrapped together and chained to an iron ball.

Blitzo: Look, shitbag, it takes a lot to keep me down, alright? I took a fuck-ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of. Also, I've been strapped nipple first to a car battery. So, I-

Blitzo flinches as the lamp is shined in his face by Agent One.

Blitzo: Ohhh, okay!

Agent One: Tell us, demon scum! Who do you work for? Satan?!

Agent Two grabs the light again. They begin grabbing it back and forth as they interrogate the the three of you.

Agent Two: How did you get to our world from the afterlife?

Agent One: (to you) Why are youse helpin' them kill humans?!

Y/N: Man, get that thing out of my face!

Agent Two: When did you show up here?

The two agents stop passing the lights as Blitzo interrupts them.

Blitzo: (annoyed) Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, bitch. First of all, we just woke up from a veeeery nasty shock. And I'm still feelin' fuckin' woozy, so I'm gonna request you fetch us some coffee before we get into this. I mean, everyone gets coffee in shitty movies with scenes like this, am I right? I want somethin' iced, bitch!

Blitzo turns to his head towards you

Blitzo: Y/N, you want anything?

You give Agent Two a smug look.

Y/N: I'll have an Iced Latte with breast milk. Sorry, I mean breast milk. I mean, breast milk.

Agent Two shudders in disgust and backs away while Blitzo and Moxxie laugh hysterically.

Blitzo: Somehow, you managed to make that dead meme funny!

Y/N: Mox, what are you having?

Moxxie: I'll have a Neapolitan cappuccino, more cappu- than -ccino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk; the beans won't have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup-they always put "Foxy" or "Roxy"; I hate that. If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional misto. Please use soy milk, with two blond shots affogato *points foot accusatorily at Agent Two* and ristretto! I'd also love... three vanilla pumps at the very bottom, then add the coffee after, then add--

Agent One: ENOUGH! We aren't getting youse coffee!

Blitzo: Wow. I was getting massive douche chills just there, Mox. Congrats!

Y/N: You were giving every Karen on Earth a run for their money.

Moxxie: Thanks...I think?

Agent Two: *leans up close to Moxxie's face* If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers outta you nasty hell beasts!

Moxxie: When you say "torture", do you mean physical or psychological? Physical seems counterproductive; we would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain, and you would have no way of knowing what was true!

Blitzo: Or we might like it too much. And then you've got a whole new thing to deal with.

Agent One: *points accusatorily at Blitzo* What do you mean by that?

Blitzo: Ah, you're stupid, huh? I can work with stupid. Daddy likey dummy.

Y/N: (looking at Agent Two) Just take that anger out on me, Mommy.

Agent Two recoils in horror.

Moxxie squirms in his chair trying to hold in his laughter but laughs anyway.

Agent Two: You better stop laughin' at us!

Agent One: *grabs Blitzo by the collar* Yeah! [*pulls an amused Blitzo closer* You are the ones at our mercy!

Moxxie: It's hard to resist, I'm really sorry. I mean, considering your approach thus far, you've had us tied here for what, hours? And you haven't even had us confirm what exactly we are!

Agent Two: *leans down curious* What are you?

Moxxie: I'm a Virgo.

Y/N and Blitzo: HAH!

Agent One: Ohhhhh, a smart guy, eh?!

Agent Two: One more quip outta you and we'll shut you up!

Y/N: Please do.

Blitzo: Ooh, getting kinkyyyy!

Both agents recoil in shock and horror.

Agent One: WHAAAAT?! We aren't playin' into your vile kinks!

Blitzo: I mean, that's what it sounded like back there, you sickos!

Y/N: (sarcastic) Please don't give them ideas, Blitzo.

Blitzo: Why not? I know the shit you're into!

You get an embarrassed look.

Agent One: Stooop! We are *leans towards you, pointing* NOT gettin' kinky wit youse!

Agent Two grab Agent One and pulls him back.

Agent Two: Calm down, One! Don't let these monsters and monster sympathizer get to you!

The agents start to walk away.

Blitzo: Heyyyy, aren't we gonna get our phone call, bitch?

Agent One: Well, that entirely depends! Who are you gonna call? Hmmm?

Blitzo: Your fat mom, thankin' her for a fat time!

Agent Two: Nice try, demon! His fat mom is dead!

Agent One starts crying into his own arm.

Y/N: Well, my mom is also dead and you don't see me crying about it. Then again, she was an abusive (censored) who got what she deserved...

Cuts to the exterior of the D.H.O.R.K.S. building You, Blitzo and Moxxie are trapped inside of. Two guards armed with naginata stand outside the entrance. Four security cameras loom over their heads. Millie and Loona peek around the side of the building, looking for a way to sneak in.

Millie: This where they ended up?

Loona: I think so. Fuck, this looks intense. How are we gonna get in?

Millie sees a small vent over their heads and points at it.

Millie: Lift me up to that vent!

Loona raises her hand and Millie climbs up, opens the vent and crawls inside. She opens the side door from inside the building and lets Loona in. They sneak through the halls trying to find Moxxie and Blitzo, completely unaware that an unnamed D.H.O.R.K.S. guard can see them on the surveillance camera. The guard spits out his coffee in surprise--unintentionally soaking another guard--and sounds an alarm to alert the other guards of the trespassers.

Loona screeches to a halt. The camera zooms out, revealing a bunch of agents holding several Japanese melee weapons. An agent holding a naginata runs toward Loona and Millie and swings it at them. The girls duck, avoiding the blade. Loona jumps, swings the axe, chopping off an agent's leg while Millie shoots him twice with twin pistols. Loona throws the axe at another agent's face where it sticks. Millie climbs the agent's body and removes the ax from his head, jumps to avoid yet another guard's katana swing, then chops the katana-wielding agent in two vertically.

Loona runs into an agent with twin nunchaku and attempts to split kick him, but he avoids it. She then rolls back and jumps to avoid his strikes. An agent swings his kusarigama at Loona but Loona ducks low to the ground, allowing the nunchaku guy to be decapitated instead. Millie sneaks up to the now surprised kusarigama-wielding agent and snaps his neck, and as he falls to the floor face first Loona grabs Millie who then grabs the axe from the floor, running towards another set of three agents inside a large doorway.

Cuts to said agents. One agent hits a button attempting to stop the girls by closing the blast door on them. The other two reveal their shuriken and proceed to throw them at the girls, though they miss entirely.

Millie: Throw me!

Loona throws Millie, grunting.

Holding her axe in front of her, Millie flies toward the group of agents, landing with a roll just as the blast door labeled "CAUTION BLAST DANGER" closes behind her. Screams of agony can be heard as Millie slaughters them off-screen. The blast door opens back up to show Millie surrounded by dismembered corpses and blood splattered on the walls and ceiling.

Loona: *walks into the room, impressed* Damn! You're pretty agile for an old lady!

Millie: I'm, like, five years older than you.

Cuts back to You, Blitzo and Moxxie. Agent One yells at Blitzo while he responds by playfully sticking his tongue out at him.

Agent One: Stop insultin' my mother! She's dead!

Agent Two: Hey, hey. Let's just leave them here until they feel like talkin'.

The two agents exit the room, slamming the door behind them. Blitzo glances at the door just to be sure, then immediately tries to struggle in his bonds for a couple second before giving up.

Blitzo: *sighs* Don't worry, guys. If we keep being obnoxious, they'll eventually slip up and we'll get a chance to get out. Let's just keep fuckin' with them until they get so frustrated, they stop thinkin' clearly. It usually works.

As Blitzo speaks, the camera zooms out until it is looking at a video feed of him and Moxxie, Blitzo's audio degrading to add to the effect. Agents One and Two watch you through the screen.

Agent One: Hmmm! So, the demons and human wanna play games, huh? Well, we can play games...

Agent Two chuckles and hits a button between "HAHA GAS" and "BITCH JUICE". As she lifts her fist away, the camera zooms in on the button, now glowing a bright green and is revealed to be labeled "TRUTH BOMB".

Agent Two: Heh! Yeaaah.

Cuts back to Moxxie and Blitzo. Blitzo is still struggling against the ropes to no avail.

Y/N: I'm just worried about Loona. She'll be on her way by now, I'm sure!

Blitzo: Ugh, she'll be fine, Y/N. It would take a roided-up hippo to take down that woman when she's upset.

Y/N: We've dealt with cannibalistic hicks, drunk and high college students, and sorry excuses for Angels, but never a clandestine government organization! She could be in danger!

As you speak, a green gas begins filling the room.

Blitzo: (suddenly angry) Do you ever honestly shut up about Loona?! It's always *mockingly imitates you* "Oh, how's Loona?" "I can't tonight. I'm hangin' with Loona or one of the other girls!" "I'm so worried about Loona!" And she's ALMOST ALWAYS... FIVE FUCKIN' FEET away from you! It's pathetic!

Y/N: That... was oddly personal.

Blitzo: (surprised]) Y'know, you're right! I don't know why the fuck I just let my guts spill like that.

Moxxie glances at the floor and sees the green gas surrounding the three of you, eyes widening in fear.

Moxxie: Guys! They're filling this room with something!

Blitzo: Fuck! *sniffs* The hell is this?

Moxxie: I think it's some kind of airborne truth-telling serum!

Blitzo: Oh, you just guess that's what it is?

Moxxie: Well, uh... Just ask me something specific I wouldn't normally tell you.

Blitzo: Okay. Uh... do you wanna fuck Y/N?

Y/N: ...Why?! Why would you ask that?!

Moxxie: Well, Millie is the one who sees him as a son, so I wouldn't be opposed to him bending me over a table and- wait, fuck! Why?!

Pan to you looking dead on the inside.

Blitzo: Heh! I knew it.

Moxxie: Well, your suit is tacky! *flinches in regret* Fuck! I'm sorry...

Blitzo: *gasps dramatically* How fuckin' dare you! Youuu have shitty taste in music! *flinches in regret* AH, I'm sorry!

Moxxie: "Shit taste"?! *tears up* You said you liked that musical I recommended to you!

Blitzo: I lied! I left halfway through!

Moxxie: You... You said you loved it!

Blitzo: (in tears) It was awful, Moxxie! It was about ugly, horny caaaaats!

Moxxie starts crying hysterically. Once again, the scene zooms out into them being watched by Agents One and Two again.

Blitzo: *tears flowing* Oh, God, Moxxie! I've said so many lies to you!

Y/N: -_-

Agent Two: *chuckles* This is gonna be a gooood night!

View switches to a vent pumping more of the gas into the room. Blitzo coughs and we switch to a POV shot we watch as the room wobbles and distorts, changing into something else. He shakes his head and turns back to face You and Moxxie angrily.

Blitzo: Dammit, guys! This is all your fault!

Moxxie: How is this our fault?!

Y/N: Oh, shut the fuck up, Blitzo! I am so tired of you blaming your screwups on everyone else!

A musical trill sounds and the environment changes. 

Moxxie and Blitzo's Bad Trips;

Moxxie is shown wearing a Disney-esque outfit before you manifest next to him wearing something similar.

Moxxie: Y/N, what are we doing here?

Y/N: I have no idea.

The two of you hear a pipe organ.

https://youtu.be/I7MQpNkIaro

Moxxie: Blitzo? (coughs) We can't see you. God, this smells awful! Is that you? Is this a prank? Because I swear to Satan-

"Blitzo": It is no prank, bitches!

 Y/N: Heeeyyy. Why do you sound like that?

"Blitzo": Because, you, my precious little bitch boys-

Moxxie: Stop it, sir.

"Blitzo": Are tripping baaaaaalls!

Moxxie: ♫ No! What?! ♫

Y/N: ♫How could this be? ♫

Moxxie and Y/N: ♫ I've never tried acid, shrooms, or DMT♫

Moxxie: ♫It's a bad trip! Oy, gevalt!♫

Y/N: ♫ Of course, Blitzo, this would be your fault!

Moxxie: ♫My lungs are full of honesty, would you promise me that you won't judge?♫

"Blitzo": ♫Yes, biiiiiitch!♫

Y/N: ♫Not trying to divulge too much, but I'm in too deep, so first of all♫

Y/N and Moxxie: FUCK YOU!

"Blitzo": ♫Whaaat?!♫

Moxxie: *talk-singing* ♫ This is just typical! ♫ Well, three can play at this game of dismay! 

Y/N: ♫ 'Cause if you're here, causing frustration, we're tormenting you in your hallucination!♫

Cut to Blitzo's hallucination.

"Moxxie": I simply follow your orders! It isn't my fault if your orders are as nonsensical as a suntanning bed left out on the cold, rainy porch of a fresh April shower!

Blitzo: Why are you talking like that? What the fuck does that even mean?

"Moxxie": I am simply speaking Satan's plain English! Perhaps you should crack open a dictionary sometime. And then maybe you could understand half of the frivolous things I carry on and on about on my many rants-

Blitzo: SHUT UP!

Cut back to Moxxie's hallucination.

Moxxie: ♫ Why do you hurt us so?♫

"Blitzo": ♫I knoooow!♫

Y/N and "Blitzo": ♫Why must you push your friends away? (I push my friends awayyyyy)♫

Moxxie: ♫Why does it seem like a recurring thing that you alienate with your toxic routine?!♫

"Blitzo": ♫I don't know! Eventually, everyone goes!♫

Y/N: ♫ 'Cause you're thoughtless, and cruel, and you'll end up alone! ♫

"Blitzo" looks back, shocked by your accusations 

Cut back to Blitzo's hallucination

"Moxxie": Admit it, my dear boss, You don't know what you're doing half the time. And you depend on me and the missus to manage your foolish flights of fancy.

Blitzo: I don't need you! I can do this shit on my own, so easily!

He's knocked into the mud by an apparition of Strika.

"Strika": But ya don't wanna do things alone, Blitz-O!

Before Blitzo can respond, he's grabbed by an apparition of Fizzarolli.

"Fizz": You tried the solo act, it didn't work out so well!

She distortedly cackles before tossing him to the ground and he's approached by an apparition of you dressed in a suit, using tentacles to hold him in place.

"Y/N": Admit it, boss. Anyone can run this company better than a washed up, two-bit, miserable loser who can barely tie his own shoes! Even the newbie!

"You" backhand him and he drops to the ground before he's approached by an apparition of Verosika.

"Verosika": And you still shove away anyone who gets too close until they resent you for being a selfish, shitty, shit fuck!

Blitzo pushes her away before a golden staircase appears before him.

"Stolas": Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?

"Moxxie": I believe your subconscious is trying to tell you that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy, but... also crave it as well. It's rather unfortunate, sir, considering it's often how you treat those who stand by you... such as ourselves.

"Moxxie's" clothes suddenly morph into a Princess dress while "yours" morph into Knight armor.

"Y/N": (posh accent) Are you worried we may have enough of it one day as well?

Blitzo: Stop fucking talking! All of you!

The apparitions fade away and we briefly see Agents One and Two watching the three of you drugged out of your minds.

Back in Blitzo's hallucination, all the apparitions tell him the same thing; he's going to die alone.

Back in Moxxie's hallucination.

"Blitzo": ♫ Whyyyyy, Y/N, whyyyyy, have you kept your true feelings inside?♫

Y/N: ♫I am scared of rejection♫

"Blitzo": ♫ Whyyyyy, Moxxie, whyyyy, do you have Millie put it in your butt?♫

Moxxie: ♫ It gives me an erection-♫ Hey!

Y/N: O_O

"Blitzo": ♫No need to hide. We respect your true feelings so promise meeee♫

Moxxie: ♫ That we can do♫

Y/N: ♫ To be true♫

"Blitzo": ♫The world is your anus, so peg it with honesty♫

Y/N and Moxxie: Ugh!

"Blitzo": ♫ I've been a jackass, it's true♫

Y/N: ♫ You've been a jackass, it's true♫

"Blitzo": ♫But as soon as we're back as ourselves♫

Moxxie, "Blitzo", and Y/N: ♫ I will be a better friend, than I was before♫

Moxxie: ♫Be better at speaking my miiiiiinnnd, aaaaannnd♫

Moxxie, "Blitzo", and Y/N: ♫ Together, we can begin to become fiiiiiiiiiiiiine♫

In your own bad trip

You are shown in your high school years, shaking and backing away from your mother and sister.

M/N: You're so pathetic, Y/N! Why can't you be more like your sister?!

Y/N: Julie is one of the biggest bullies at our school!

Your mom backhands you to the floor.

M/N: At least she's popular! At least she's a *somebody*! She's the top cheerleader, she's acing all her classes!

Y/N: That's because she's fucking her teachers! 

M/N: Don't talk about your sister that way!

Your sister then manifests besides your mother.

Julie: You're such an embarrassment, you pathetic dork!

She punches you in the gut, before shoving you into the wall.

Your mother and sister laugh maliciously. Your fear, shame, and indignation threaten to take over before you remember something to help get out of the bad trip.

Y/N: I'm not that scared teenager anymore. Those abusive (censored) can never hurt me again.

Your eyes start glowing green, and in a flash of green light, you're restored to your proper age. 

M/N and Julie: (scared) O_O.

You use your magic to summon tentacles and claws to restrain your mother along with the head of a large Eldritch creature hovering over her.

Y/N: Never again.

Your mother is disfigured and eaten by the eldritch creature. The hallucination of Julie runs shrieking out of the house.

Y/N: Almost as good as Dad and I killing her in self-defense and Julie being disowned. 

You feel a hand on your shoulder and turn to see Loona, IMP, and the other girls, your found family, smiling in a reassuring manner.

You smile as Loona pulls you into a kiss and your bad trip ends.

Cuts back to Millie and Loona walking up to a three-by-four 12-digit keypad. Millie walks closer and sees that the 1 button is the only one that shows any wear, while the other buttons are untouched.

Millie: Try 1.

Loona presses 1 five times. The door slides open, revealing a reception desk. The girls look to each other in affirmation and run inside. Millie vaults over the desk as the door slams shut behind them.

As you, Blitzo, and Moxxie regain your bearings, Millie crashes through the ceiling.

Millie: There's my Millie!

Y/N: Mo- uh- (correcting yourself) Millie!

Millie starts untying the three of you

Blitzo: Impressive work, Mills! How'd you get here all by yourself?

Loona smashes through the one-way window using Agent Two as a makeshift battering ram.

Y/N and Blitzo: LOONIE?!

Loona: Get your asses outta here before MORE FUCKERS SHOW UP!

Loona throws Agent Two at Agent One as he stands behind her in shock. She crouches, wolf ears sprouting from her head, and leaps, having instantly reverted to her Hellhound form as she lands. A wolf howl sound effect plays as she lands. She drops her backpack and Blitzo and Moxxie grin maniacally at each other. 

Loona: Come here!

She gives you a brief but passionate kiss.

Loona: I think you'll be needing this.

She hands you your amulet and you put it around your neck.

Y/N: This is where the fun begins.

As you say this your eyes glow green, the area around your eyes turns black, your skin turns a deathly pale, and Eldritch symbols appear all over your body.

Moxxie pulls out twin submachine guns while Blitzo brandishes his trusty flintlock pistol, flicking the hammer. Agent One weakly presses a button, setting off an alarm. The I.M.P group turn as a few disposable mooks drop from the ceiling holding Japanese weapons, before even more cartoonishly slide in from the sides and encircle them. The I.M.P. group hold fighting poses, ready for a smackdown.

Blitzo: Ooookay, I've had one too many emotions for today! Guys... *turns to you and Moxxie* Let's fuck these fuckers up!

You and Moxxie give an evil, toothy smiles and nod. A fluid fight scene starts as one agent attempts to strike Blitzo with the sickle end of his kusarigama, only for Loona to catch it in her mouth and yank hard, throwing the wielder across the room to hit an agent with a katana. A female agent attempts multiple strikes at Loona with her naginata, but Loona deftly dodges and, with the kusarigama sickle still in her mouth, stabs the agent through the throat. She releases the kusarigama and grabs the chain in her hands while running, wrapping it around another agent's neck and yanking hard enough to decapitate both him and the agent with the sickle end in her throat, sending both their heads flying.

Loona then spins in a circle, disemboweling three more agents before she rips out another's throat with her teeth.

Pan to you having a nosebleed and a noticeable erection.

Y/N: I'm so turned on right now...

Loona blows you a a kiss.

Millie jumps and twirls in the air with her axe and goes for an agent wielding a katana. He tries to block but is unsuccessful as the axe easily breaks through his sword and he is cleaved in half, splattering blood and brain matter around her. Millie sees an agent with a two-handed sword running toward her, so she runs up to him and dismembers him in two quick swings. She uses her axe to deflect incoming shuriken and swings at their thrower, but he backflips away as another agent with a sword runs at her. She jumps and flips in the air and lands with a pose, then briefly clashes with the sword-wielding agent before taking off his entire lower half. The shuriken thrower makes a second attempt, but he is easily cut down. She then happily runs off while spinning her axe as the agent she dismembered earlier is seen helplessly flailing his bleeding stumps.

Cuts to a dolly arc shot of Moxxie and Blitzo firing on a multitude of agents coming their way. Blitzo discards his flintlock pistol and reaches for the backpack.

Blitzo: Mox! Cover me!

Moxxie: Yes, sir!

Moxxie unloads his submachine guns in a wide arc, before disposing them as Blitzo hands him two golden revolvers that he uses to great effect. Blitzo, meanwhile, pulls out a vicious-looking knife and runs off, stabbing one agent to death while decapitating another.

Blitzo: EAT! MY! ASS!

A/N: No thank you. That's Stolas' job.

Blitzo pulls out his phone and takes a selfie with the agent's severed head before throwing the head to the ground. Moxxie fires his revolvers until they're spent, then he viciously beats one agent to death with the butt of one before discarding them. Blitzo picks up a demonic pump-action shotgun, fires off a shot, then hands it to Moxxie, who blasts two more agents with it. Blitzo shoulders the backpack so it sits on his chest. He and Moxxie turn to each other and nod before running in opposite directions, Moxxie making a demonic hiss as he does.

You summon a tentacle that grabs an agent and slams on the ground so hard they splatter on impact then another agent tries to swing at you but you open a portal underneath yourself and fall through only to fall out of another portal above the agent where you repeatedly stomps on their face until their head splatters like a watermelon. Then you summon a trio of skulls which fly out and each devour a DHORK agent. Another agent tries to get the drop on you but you open a portal behind them and a tentacle comes out and impales them before pulling them in and their bones being spat back out.

Loona: My Puppy's got some serious bite, (looks you up and down) looking extra sexy with those magical tattoos.

Y/N: Save it for later, Mama.

A larger agent approaches and you narrowly avoid his attack before pushing him back with your tentacles and claws. As the agent is stunned Loona uppercuts him into the air then uses her kusarigama to pull him down and punch him in the gut rupturing several organs. You capitalize on this by summoning another burrage of skulls, breaking his bones on impact, pushing him through a portal and out another above you where you punch him in the back breaking his spine. 

You use magic to levitate the large agent in the air and summon ethereal panes of glass above him and bring them down, cutting him into thin slices before letting his remains spill on the floor as you smirk. Suddenly an even larger agent approaches.

Agent: I'm gonna rip off your head!

You throw a green orb into the agent's mouth then he, against his will, gouges out his own eyes, rips off his own jaw, twists his own head 180° then rips it off and kneels down handing his head to you.

Y/N: How the tables have turned. Hahaha!

Loona: I'm scaroused.

Moxxie: (with an erection) Same.

Millie: All right, baby! Woooooo!

Blitzo: Yeah, yeah. I admit you know what you're doing with that thing.

Quick pan over to Loona as Blitzo joins her. He slithers up into her hair and shoots an agent with a crossbow. One agent swings at her with a sword but she counters with a roundhouse kick to the face. As Blitzo jumps away, Loona turns and delivers a powerful uppercut to the jaw of another sword-wielding agent, sending him into the air. An agent with twin sai comes at her and she crouches down before leaping towards him, biting down so his entire head is in her mouth. She briefly shakes him back and forth before throwing him and grabbing another agent by the face, slamming him to the floor. Blitzo hands her an energy rifle of some sort, which she fires at a few agents

Loona: DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS! *looks down at Blitzo* What?

Blitzo: I am just so damn proud of you, Loonie! *hugs Loona's face and kisses her cheek* Bye, sweetie!

Blitzo slithers off of Loona, who growls angrily at his affection. She then bites down on another agent's head and throws him.

Quick pan back to Blitzo. An agent carrying nunchaku runs at him but is blindsided and knocked away by the agent Loona just threw.

Loona: *to Blitzo, off-screen* Watch out!

Blitzo turns to see Millie cut down two more agents with her axe and twirl it with a flourish.

Blitzo: Hey, Mills!

Millie: Hey, Blitz! Just one sec!

Millie jumps and swings, decapitating one agent. She cuts a leg off of a female agent holding sai, relieves a male sai-wielding agent of his lower torso, then twirls her axe to completely eviscerate an agent holding a straight sword and poses. Blitzo appears to the side with the backpack still strapped to his chest and offers Millie a pump-action shotgun.

Blitzo: Do you need a gun or anything?

Millie: Nah, I'm good!

Millie spins to the side, taking off the lower legs of a female agent with kusarigama then eviscerating her. She swings her axe as leverage for a leap onto another female agent, wrapping her legs around her neck and decapitating at least two more agents with the axe. Millie severs the leg of the agent she's held onto, who then collapses before Millie begins strangling her with her thighs. Blitzo appears to the side again, this time offering a bottle of water.

Blitzo: How about some water?

Millie: Sure!

Blitzo squeezes the bottle, squirting its contents into her open mouth

Millie: Ahhh. *snaps the agent's neck* Thanks, Blitz!

Blitzo: *throws the bottle away* No problemy, Millie-Billie!

As Millie runs off to murder even more agents, Blitzo pulls out a submachine gun and a shotgun. Cuts to a close-up of him with a sadistic smile and lightly glowing eyes.

Blitzo: Now, who wants some quality time with Daddy?

The camera zooms out to reveal more agents ready to kill. Blitzo spins his guns, runs at an agent with sai and leaps on him, firing at five agents with his shotgun before blasting the one he's grabbed onto. He leaps off and frontflips, killing two agents with the submachine gun. Once he lands, he pulls a spiked baseball bat out of the backpack strapped to his chest, trips an agent with it, then beats him in the stomach with it. He pulls a grenade out of the backpack and uses the bat to hit it away into a group of hapless agents.

Blitzo: FOOOORE!

The grenade explodes. Cuts to Agents One and Two attempting to flee the building. Blitzo's grenade explodes, and they duck and cover their heads in fear. They then see the corpse of an agent hit the floor, a femur sticking out where his leg should be and his katana falling down and impaling him in the chest.

Agent One: Why, God, *why* are we only usin' weapons from Japan's Edo Period?!

Agent Two: *grabs Agent One by his suit* Hey! The Edo period was badass, and you know it!

Agent One: Dammit, you're right.

Y/N: And here I was thinking *I* was a massive dork.

You punch both of them, sending them sprawling to the floor, but you're approached by more agents before you can advance on One and Two.

Cuts to Moxxie standing on a pile of agents, blasting agent after agent with his shotgun and screaming bloody murder. He flips one agent into the air with his tail, causing him to spin, then he blasts him away. More agents run at him, only for Moxxie to flll them with buckshot.

Moxxie: Biiitches!

Blitzo: *suddenly appears next to Moxxie* Hey, Mox!

Startled, Moxxie drops his shotgun and it lands on hits buttstock, accidentally going off but hitting an agent in the crotch. The unfortunate agent weakly reaches a hand up at Moxxie.

Blitzo: Ohhh, wow. Really goin' for the dick there, ain't'cha?

Agent: *weakly* Help...

Blitzo: Here, I got it for ya.

Blitzo takes out the knife he used earlier and stabs the agent.

Blitzo: Now, hold this.

Blitzo places the backpack in Moxxie's arms and pulls from it a comically oversized rocket launcher appropriately named "MY DICK".

Blitzo: Oh, yeah! I'm gettin' hard holdin' this motherfucker!

Blitzo fires a rocket labeled "PUSSY DESTROYER" and gives an evil laugh. The rocket flies toward a group of agents on the other side of the broken window and explodes, causing both Millie and Loona to flinch away from the flames. Millie's axe is also blown out of her hands by the blast. Moxxie then comes into view.

Moxxie: Oh, crumbs! Is everyone okay?

Blitzo jumps on him.

Blitzo: WOOOOOO! How's THAT for demon scum?!

Cuts to the broken window. Blood is dripping from the few shards left in the frame. Pans over to Agents One and Two hiding under a desk. Agent Two nods at Agent One, signaling him to hit a red button next to him aptly labeled '"RED BUTTON". This sets off an alarm and causes the entire screen to be tinted red.

Blitzo: Oh, shit! C'mon, fam! Let's blow this cocksicle joint!

Blitzo and Loona run for the exit. Millie hoists Moxxie off the ground and they join the rest of the group.

Loona: HEY!

Before they can leave, the doors close in front of them. A set of iron bars lowers in front of the doors, then a garage door closes further down, then a large steel door clamps down, lasers activate outside of it, and bathroom doors close outside of that, the vacancy indicator switching to "Occupied".

Subtle fade back to the I.M.P. gang as they beat against the door.

Moxxie: [to Loona] Quick! The book!

Loona pulls Stolas' Grimoire out of the backpack and attempts to read it.

Loona: Shhhit! I can't... I can't read the spell in this light! I can't see dick! *looks around worried*

Blitzo: Y/N! Portal!

Pan to you swarmed by a few surviving Agents.

Y/N: Little preoccupied right now!

As you kill them, this happens.

https://youtu.be/89EcaaoFhtE

Blitzo: Stolas? Wha-... A- Wh- Hold on, how did you know that we needed help?

Stolas: I have my ways, darling. Are you alright?

He leans forward, gazing into Blitzo's eyes as he places a hand on his cheek. Blitzo rolls his eyes.

Blitzo: Ugh. I'm fine, Stolas.

Stolas: *softly* Mm. Good. *caresses Blitzo's head*

Stolas pulls Blitzo's head in roughly and adopts a sharper, angrier tone.

Stolas: How the FUCK... did you get caught by humans?! Are you little creatures not being careful up here?! You know, if you *boops Blitzo's nose* get in trouble, I get in trouble! WE...*grabs Blitzo's cheek* don't want that!

Moxxie pulls Stolas's hand away from Blitzo's cheek.

Moxxie: They... caught us off guard, your highness.

Blitzo: ...Yeah, you can unclench your bird-puss, Stolas. It's not gonna happen again, 'kay?

Stolas: Luckily for you... most don't believe the word of the demon-obsessed lunatics.

The camera pans and cuts to Agents One and Two holding each other, shaking in fear.

Stolas: (off-screen) They are seen as kooks!

Cuts back to Stolas giggling and looking rather pleased with himself.

Stolas: Kooks! Such a silly word! *claps his hands together* Now! Let us all return!

Stolas opens a portal back to the I.M.P. office.

Moxxie: Yes, please. I'd like to get back to the correct hellhole as soon as possible.

Moxxie hops through and helps Millie through, Loona walks through carrying you bridal style and pressing her snoot against your cheek, and Stolas picks up Blitzo in a bridal carry.

Stolas: Am I going to get any thank you for the rescue, Blitzy?

Blitzo: Well, I suppose you should. Want me to fuck your brains out tonight?

Stolas: Very much so. *leans in for a kiss*

[Blitzo grabs the back of Stolas' head and pulls it back, causing him to blush.]

Blitzo: Alright. But, you're keepin' quiet, or I'm usin' those bear traps.

Blitzo runs a finger down Stolas's face as he shudders with obvious pleasure, his feathers fluffing out.

Stolas: Ohhhh, please do~

The two of them partake in a French kiss and the portal closes behind them. 

You and Loona share a grossed out look before you open a portal to her room and close it behind you.

Before you can say anything, Loona pins you to her bed and smothers you with licks and kisses.

Loona: Now, Puppy, what did Mommy say about scaring her like that?

Y/N: Sorry, Mommy, but in my defense how was I supposed to know there would be government agents looking for demons?

Loona: Still, Mommy thinks you should be appropriately punished.

Y/N: What do you have in mind?

Loona takes off her collar and puts it around your neck and pulls you to her face.

Loona: Get undressed and you'll see.

Y/N: (blushing) Yes, Mommy.

You do as you're told and strip naked then turn to see Loona completely nude with a smirk, holding a bottle of lube, and wearing a knotted strap-on.

Y/N: O_O

Loona: Now, be a good Puppy and crawl up on the bed.

Y/N: Yes, Mommy.

Loona: Face down ass up.

Y/N: Yes, Mommy.

She kneels down behind you on the bed and gropes your ass before spreading your cheeks.

Loona: Let's loosen you up a bit.

She pours out some lube and stimulates you causing you to moan.

Loona: You're liking this, aren't you? I think that's enough. Get ready, Puppy, because I'm not gonna be gentle.

Y/N: O_O

She puts the tip of the strap-on against your backdoor and slowly pushes.

Loona: Just relax and exhale, Puppy.

You do so, allowing Loona to slide halfway, in causing you to yelp.

Loona: So fucking cute.

You moan as she slowly pushes the rest in stopping at the knot.

Loona: Here we go, Puppy.

She starts moving her hips back and forth thrusting into you with her hips slapping against your ass as you yelp with each thrust.

Loona: Yes! Who's my good little Puppy?

You only yelp in response.

Loona: That's right, you are. Here's the main event, Puppy!

She leans forward, you feel her breasts on your back, then she pushes the strap-on the rest of the way in, shoving in the knot. You would yell in response but Loona muffles you with a kiss as she thrusts into you even faster while stroking you and fondling your balls. You eventually climax into Loona's hand which she licks up. She lays down next to you and holds you to her chest.

Loona: Mommy wasn't too rough, was she?

Y/N: I've never done that before but I should be fine.

Loona: That's my Puppy.

She smacks your ass making you yelp again.

Loona: So cute.

She notices you're still hard.

Loona: Still ready for another round, huh?

She removes the strap-on and lays down, spreading her legs for you.

Loona: Mommy thinks you've earned a treat.

You crawl up to her, give her a kiss, and rub your cock against her entrance making her moan.

Loona: Come on, quit teasing!

You surprise her by shoving your full length not in her pussy but up her ass.

Loona: O_O AHHH!!!

You start thrusting rapidly.

Loona: You little sh-

She's cut off as you assume your demon form and she moans feeling your dick shapeshift inside her. You thrust harder shoving in your knot and muffling her scream with a kiss. You wrap your arms around each other and you both climax. You both go limp and you lay down with your face on Loona's chest.

Loona: (chuckling) You little fucking bastard.

Y/N: I couldn't resist.

Loona: I guess Mommy can let it slide for now.

You share a kiss then snuggle up before falling asleep.

Cut back to D.H.O.R.K.S. Headquarters.

Agent Two: ...So, what now?

Agent One: *excited* What now?! *walks off-screen* We finally got the evidence we needed to be taken... seriously!

He pulls up several images on the monitors, showing IMP massacring the Agents and Stolas showing up.

Agent One: Nobody in corporate is ignorin' this. *chuckles victoriously*

???: You're right, One. We won't be.

One and Two look back to see a stern looking woman.

Agent One: Agent Zero!

One and Two salute her with nervous expressions.

Agent Zero: Step aside, you two. I'm taking over this investigation.

She steps forward and looks at the image of you on the monitor. She takes off her sunglasses, showing her to have the same color eyes as you.

Agent Zero: Why am I not surprised you're in league with demons? It's been a long time...little brother.

She punches the monitor showing you, cracking it as the screen fades to black.

End of Chapter.