A/N: Credit to Renowned-Wolf for helping with this chapter.

Scene opens on Loona alone in the office reading a magazine called "IMP GOSSIP". Verosika is on the front cover, with a quote from an interview with her saying "Adorkable guys are the best in bed". 

Loona's phone chimes with a text from you saying that the job is done. She traces a pattern in the Grimoire and a portal opens. A tree falls through the portal, along with a severed head. Moxxie pops out of the tree revving a chainsaw with a psychotic smile. 

Blitzo: Woo, that was a fuck ton of lumberjacks!

You walk through posing dramatically while holding a severed Lumberjack head.

Y/N: "Alas, poor Yorick". He was an asshole.

Loona: (lovingly) Dork.

You blush and toss the severed head over your shoulder.

Millie crawls across the floor like a crab, with an axe between her teeth.

A/N: Crab Millie doesn't exist, she can't hurt you! Crab Millie doesn't exist, she can't hurt you! Crab Millie doesn't exist, she can't hurt you! (looks at picture) Oh GOD!

Millie: *yells* I'm still so jazzed up!

She snaps the axe in half and laughs. She then walks over near the rest of the group.

Moxxie: Well you better stay jazzed, *points finger guns* babe. Because, guess where I'm taking you tonight?

Blitzo: Don't you dare finish a filthy pun in my presence Moxxie. Besides, drinks are on me tonight. Let's hit up the new dive down the street.

Moxxie: Actually, sir, it's our one-year marriage anniversary. So, I'm taking Millie to Ozzie's in the Lust Ring!

Y/N: You've only been married for a year?!

Millie: (starry-eyed)*gasps* Ozzie's?! No way! That place is always booked!

Moxxie: Yeah, well I've been planning it for quite a while.

Millie: Moxxie!

She jumps into Moxxie's arms and kisses his face before they both start French kissing and making out. While this is going on, Verosika enters with Tex and Roxy.

Verosika: Hey, babe. (kisses you roughly) Got plans tonight?

Y/N: (flustered) N-not really.

Verosika: Great, 'cause I'm performing at Ozzie's tonight and managed to snag everyone invites.

Loona: (wide-eyed) No fucking way...

Roxy: Get ready for a really lustful night, Prey.

The three hellhounds and Succubus initiate another make-out session. Blitzo deadpans at all the PDA going on around him.

Blitzo: No, it's fine! I-I can come with you. Help you celebrate your boring as fuck monogamy and polygamy.

Moxxie: Uh, no. The reservations are for us.

Blitzo: Uh huh!

Moxxie: Just us.

Blitzo: Mhm!

Y/N: For the love of Charlie, take a fucking hint. You are *not* invited!

Blitzo: (completely ignoring you) I'll wear something nice. 

Loona, Tex, and Roxy all snarl at him, causing him to rush out the door, accidentally running into it at first in the process.

Y/N: I swear, sometimes that guy...(frustrated exhale)

Tex: (massaging your shoulders) Relax, cutie.

Loona: Don't let him get in your head tonight.

Roxy: He isn't worth it.

Verosika: How about we go home and... (seductive) clean this blood off?

The four of them growl seductively, causing you to blush, your tail to become erect, and get a slight nosebleed. The four of them lead you out of the office.

Cut to half an hour later. You are shown getting dressed in a suit. Tex is shown only wearing a towel and looking for something to wear

Tex: What to wear...

Y/N: How about this?

You hold up a sleeveless silk dress that shows some cleavage and a small opening showing off a bit of her abs.

Tex: I don't know, cutie, I'm not one for dresses.

Y/N: Come on, you'll look great and besides I want to see how my muscle Mama looks wrapped in silk.

Tex: I'm still not-

She looks to see you giving her puppy dog eyes.

Tex: Oh come on, that's not fair!  Okay, I'll wear it for you, cutie.

Y/N: Yes!

Tex: However.

She pushes you against the wall as her towel falls off.

Tex: You are gonna make it up to Mama later.

Y/N: Of course, Mama.

Tex: Just so you know, (she leans in and whispers to you) Loona told me all about how she had to "punish" you.

Y/N: O_O

Tex licks your cheek and give you a quick kiss.

Tex: Now go on and get dressed and I'll do the same.

Y/N: O_O Yes, Mama.

You leave the room and Tex gives you a firm smack on the ass, making you yelp.

Tex: So cute.

Roxy comes out wearing a low-cut dress that barely covers her sweater puppies while Verosika is shown wearing the same dress she wore on your previous date.

Loona comes out wearing this.

You are shown getting incredibly flustered due to how sexy they look.

Verosika: Good to know you'll always be our cute dork. (kisses your cheek)

Cut to Hell's elevator.

You are shown standing with your girlfriends when M&M arrive.

Intercom: Elevator 666 departing for Lust [in seductive tone] in 5 minutes.

Millie: (acting like a doting mother) You're absolutely, positively sure that you feel safe, baby? This isn't your first time to Lust, is it?

Y/N: (absentmindedly) Nah, I've been before. I'll be fine, Mom. O_O.

Millie:

Y/N: I mean- Millie. I meant Millie!

Millie: You heard it, you heard it, you all heard it! He said it! It's fucking official!

She tightly hugs you and excitedly jumps up and down.

Millie: You called me "Mom", you called me "Mom"! Maybe one day you'll call Moxxie "Dad".

Y/N & Moxxie: Don't push it.

Y/N: My dad is still alive, and we're on very good terms.

Unknown to all of you, Blitzo was shown hiding behind a newspaper, having completely ignored your warnings to not come.

Cut to Ozzie's, where the Bouncer is shown letting people in.

Jesse: All of you together?

Loona: (with her arm linked through yours) We are.

Y/N: (flustered smile) I can hardly believe it myself.

Jesse: Ha. Best of luck to you, man.

He lets your group in and grabs Blitzo by the tail as he tries to sneak in.

Jesse: Woah there, buddy. Got a reservation?

Blitzo: Oh, yeah. I'm with those two.

Jesse: This club is for people in relationships only.

Blitzo: It's what?

Jesse: No date or dates, no reservation, no entry.

Blitzo looks up and down at Jesse, and tries to pick up the bouncer as his date, instead.

Blitzo: ...Y-you know, *bats eyes* you have really nice eyes, daddy?

He gets thrown into the lid of a dumpster, then shut inside. Blitzo pops up out of the trash.

Blitzo: You fucking prude! *Flips him off behind his back*

He gets out, his tail gets caught, and he ends up on top of trash bags. He crosses his arms and smiles. It cuts to Stolas in his mansion's dining area, pouring milk into his cereal. He groans as it shows him sitting at an empty table. He carries his bowl to a couch and covers himself with a blanket. Stolas turns on the TV to "Hell-a-Novela" and slumps down.

Gabriella: Ay, why won't you love me Alejandro?

Stolas: That's a mood, Gabriella. *eats a spoonful of cereal*

The telephone rings. Smoke comes out and says "Blitzy is calling". Stolas chokes and makes two meme faces before answering the phone.

Stolas: Helloo? Hello, Blitzy?

Blitzo: Stolas, heyyy. You-uh, shit... you busy tonight?

Stolas: Umm, why do you ask?

Blitzo: I was wondering if you... wanna come with me to a club tonight?

Stolas: Are you asking me on a date, Blitzy? *blushing and his pupils turn into hearts*

Blitzo: I-yes, I suppose that is what's happening. How fast can you get down to Lust?

A/N: UGGGHHH. This is why I hated Blitzo for about a year and don't like Barbie Wire. People who play with other peoples' emotions like this and lead them on...they suck. They're absolute scum. There's no other way to put it.

Stolas: I can be ready in twenty!

Blitzo: Alright, fantastic. See you soon.

Stolas: I'll see you, Blitzy~

Stolas pulls out an outfit, transitioning to him putting on eyeliner, looking in the mirror. He turns around and puts on blush. 

Cut to you and your girlfriends inside Ozzie's, catching the attention of the star performer.

Fizz: Hey, Verosika. (flirty) who's the new guy?

Y/N: I'm their boyfriend. Y/N.

Fizz: Damn! An adorkable stud managed to get a whole harem.

You blush as she seductively coils herself around you.

Fizz: (bedroom eyes) Just so you know, these cybernetics allow me to do *any* position.

She poses seductively, showing off how flexible she is.

In a puff of smoke, Ozzie appears in front of your group.

Ozzie: Well, guess the rumors were right. There is a cute human running around the rings of Hell.

She notices your scaroused expression and adjusts her top, giving you a better view of her cleavage.

Ozzie: Verosika tells me you know quite a bit of magic.

Y/N: I know a few tricks.

Ozzie: What kind of-

She looks and sees you summoned tentacles that are trailing up the inside of her thighs.

Ozzie: Oh, you naughty little boy.

You just smirk.

Cut back to Blitzo outside

Blitzo: Come on, come on, come on...

Stolas arrives and steps through a glowing portal behind Blitzo.

Stolas: Oh, Blitzy. I'm here~

A spotlight appears on Blitzo.

Blitzo: Wow. That's a bit overkill, don't ya think?

Stolas: *chuckles as he fixes his suit* W-well, I-I just wanted to look a little nicer for you. This is our first real date after all.

They both walk off together, holding hands.

Blitzo: Oh yeah, I guess this is, huh.

Jesse: You, again? Beat it, shithea-

Stolas: Ahem, do we have a problem?

Jesse: ...Oh! Uh, shit! Uh, my apologies, your highness. Uh, please go right in.

Blitzo pops out behind the curtain and flips off the bouncer before going inside.

Blitzo and Stolas enter Ozzie's and find a table.

Stolas: *gasps* Oh, MY! Oh, no; No, but, yes! Oh, Blitzo, how romantic is this? What made you choose such a place to bring me?

Blitzo: *pulls out a pair of binoculars* Oh, it just sounded like- I just thought we'd have a blast here, you know? 

He sees M&M at one table and sees you with your girlfriends at another, all enjoying each other's company.

Blitzo: Gotcha!

Stolas: Oh, Blitzo. What are you looking at?

Blitzo: *without looking at him* I'm looking at nothing; how about that?

A waitress named Crane comes over to their table.

Crane: Can I get you two off- I mean, start you two off with some drinks?

Stolas: Yes! Um, perhaps some wine to share; do you prefer red wine or white, Blitzo? Or perhaps some champagne?

Blitzo: *still not facing him* Yeah, whatever.

Stolas: [*nervously chuckles]* Well, perhaps all three. Why not? So, Blitzo, how was your day?

Blitzo: *finally looks at Stolas* Huh? Oh, good I guess. We killed a bunch of beardos

Stolas: THAT sounds fun! How did you kill them?

Blitzo: How? I-I-I mean, there was a lot of them, so I-bullets.

Stolas: Right, right... so, what made you decide to ask me out after all this time?

Blitzo: Uhhhh...

Music starts playing and several dancers descend from the ceiling.

Fizz: (voiceover) Ladies and gentlemen! I see some sexy faces around here tonight! [*descends from the center stage* Welcome, welcome, to Ozzie's: Lust ring's number 1 place for all kinds of sick twisted fantasies. Put on display for all you 'Sleaze' and 'Sleazettes'. The gin joint of Asmodeus herself! C'mon, give her some LOVE!

Stolas: Did she just say Asmodeus?

Blitzo: Oh, no fucking way. Not HER! *hides behind a menu]*

Fizz: I am the one and only Fizzarolli! Some of you may recognize this dashing clown face from my numerous toy-botic replicas across the rings of Hell. Gloriously designed by the big woman herself and uh, *rolls up a sleeve, revealing a cybernetic arm]* ribbed for your pleasure tonight. We have a great lineup for you tonight: Verosika Mayday, Wet Dream and the Squirterz!

As the spotlight falls on Verosika, she smirks and pulls you into a heated make-out session, nearly knocking you out of your chair.

Fizz: I'm not sure who I'm more jealous of. But as everyone's warming up, I got a funny one for y'all: Did any of you hear about the bat-shittery that happened at Loo Loo Land?

Audience laughs

Fizz: Ha ha ha! Oh, yeah. Wow. I'll tell you what: I'd sure love to shake the hand of the crazy son of a bitch who decided to burn down that off brand shithole and then slap a fat subpoena in it, 'cause I am VERY MUCH looking to sue! 

Both Stolas and Blitzo look away.

Fizz: That robo-me made us more money entertaining those kids than the ones we sell to get you freaks off, if you know what I mean. *giggles maniacally*

Random patron: Oh, I know what you mean! I have four of them!

Fizz: *pulls out hidden mic* Okay, keep that guy FAR away from me. *back to the audience* So, without wasting any more time, our little opening act is a fresh one! Coming at us from a little imp from the Wrath Ring, give it up for Moxxie... with no creative stage name whatsoever.

The audience applauds, as Moxxie gets up with his guitar before kissing Millie on the cheek. Fizz moves from her spot to another, as Moxxie takes the stage.

Moxxie: Hello, everyone -- (feedback from the microphone) Oh! *clears throat* Hi, thank you for letting me be here. It's an honor to play.

Wally Wackford: *off-screen, slurring* Uh, hurry up, Bullet, and, uh, SING, boy! I say, I say--

With an annoyed expression, you open a small portal next to you and jam your fist down into it. Another appears next to Wally and your fist emerges, hitting him across the jaw and knocking him to the floor.

Moxxie: Thanks, Y/N. This song is for my beautiful wife, a surprise for our first anniversary.

Cut to Millie with a happy look on her face.

Moxxie: I love you, Millie.

With that, he begins singing a poorly advised song.

Moxxie: ♫I love you. More than the brimstone loves the fire. More than Beelze loves her bub. More than a maggot loves gangrenes stubs♫

Everyone besides Millie stares at Moxxie with confusion, or are shown cringing.

Milky: I thought he was the smart one?

Y/N: (cringing) So did I.

Loona: This is gonna end in humiliation for him. (pulls out her phone and starts recording)

Fizz looks to Ozzie  in the shadows with a smug grin while Ozzie glares.

Moxxie: ♫You make my spirit sing. Yeah, you make me glad I live in Hell. Our love is a story sweet to tell. Yeah, you cast a special Satanic spell over my heart. ♫

The smoke machines activates, hitting Millie directly. The scene is full of pink smoke and hearts only surrounding Moxxie and Millie.

Moxxie: ♫Love is a journey we decided to start. Yeah, I hope we'll never ever be apart. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you♫

Singing the same line over and over, this is drowned by Fizz and Ozzie saying the same thing over him. Their silhouettes are shown laughing right behind his back. They appear from the smoke and begin singing their own song.

https://youtu.be/3oN7Wxm0aWc

During the song;

Blitzo: Hey, now. I've watched those two pork many times.

Moxxie: What?! 

Y/N: Blitzo?!

Blitzo: And, honestly, they make missionary look relatively exciting. That's not even half as exciting as what Y/N and his girls get up to.

Y/N:

Verosika also gets in on humiliating Blitzo.

https://youtu.be/fIHMhhH_p_s

Blitzo and Stolas are shown looking utterly humiliated.

Blitzo: You know what? This was a mistake. Alright, let's just -- let's just leave.

Stolas: Oh. Right. Of course.

Y/N: Way to fuck things up yet again, Blitz-O.

Blitzo: The 'O' is silent and nobody asked you!

Y/N: Oh, shut the fuck up!

You slug him in the gut and he falls to the ground.

Verosika: O_O. (tail wagging)

Blitzo: What the fuck?!

Y/N: Oh, please. You've had this coming for a long time. Constantly bullying us, not respecting our space, interrupting our night, oh, and to top it all off, you dragged Stolas into this!

You teleport a microphone over to yourself.

Y/N:

https://youtu.be/HZeha6T-5K4

As you sing, Blitzo leaves the club dejected with Stolas following behind.

Cut to the outside of Stolas' mansion, Blitzo drives Stolas back to his place, who bumps his head getting out of the van.

Stolas: Thank you, for... inviting me out tonight. Despite everything that's happened, I...I enjoyed spending time with you.

Blitzo: *irritated* Yeah.

Stolas: You know, I have some more wine in the house. Octavia's with her mother this weekend. So, we could--

Blitzo: I'm not fucking you tonight, okay? I'm really just -- [sighs] I'm really not in the mood, Stolas.

Stolas: We could talk, or... watch a movie, or... maybe cuddle?

Blitzo: Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear all the time. *voice breaking* But, I just, I-I can't do it tonight, okay?

Both Stolas and Blitzo look at each other with sad looks on their faces.

Blitzo: I'm sorry.

Stolas: Okay. *sighs* Goodnight, Blitzo.

Blitzo: Night.

Blitzo drives away from the mansion's driveway, leaving Stolas all by himself, shedding a tear, and sitting in front of his staircase, feeling some form of regret.

Cut to Blitzo arriving back at his and Loona's apartment. He flops down on the couch and scrolls through several photos; him and Fizz as kids and as teens seeing a Mammon concert, him and Verosika when they were dating, welcoming Moxxie to IMP, photobombing you and Loona, and finally on a picture of him, Barbie Wire, and their mother Tilla.

The last picture has the most impact on him as he curls up and begins crying.

We briefly see you and your girlfriends laying in bed, cuddling and watching a movie, ending the night on a much more pleasant note than Blitzo and Stolas

Cut to a different mansion where Stella is meeting with her brother Andrealphus.

Andrealphus: Alright my dear sister, what was so important that we had to meet this late at night? I need my beauty sleep.

Stella: It's about *this*!

She shows Andrealphus a photo of your amulet.

Stella: With this amulet, we have the potential to be two of the most powerful beings in Hell. Getting revenge on Stol-Ass would be just the beginning.

Andrealphus: Well, who has it now?

Stella: Some worthless, meddlesome human. Stol-Ass did a ritual with some plebeian Imps and a Hellhound to make him part demon. We take him out...and all that power will be ours. 

Stella starts laughing maniacally before she chokes on her own saliva again and starts coughing.

Andrealphus: O_o. You really need to stop doing that.

End of Chapter.