A/N: Ultimately decided to skip Unhappy Campers. Practically everyone hates that episode.

A/N: Thanks to Renowned-Wolf for helping with some things. 

Scene opens on you entering the hotel, looking tired. Only Angel and Husk are in the lobby.

Angel: Hey, Long Rod von Hugen Schlong, what happened? You were gone for a week.

Y/N: We had a target in a summer camp. Although we didn't know who it was, so we had to investigate. Moxxie was put in charge, somehow, and despite finding the target immediately, he insisted on staying to "do things properly" so I had to deal with shallow preteen valley girls, dude bros, Blitzo's bitch of a sister, and Moxxie's shitty fucking attitude for a fucking week. 

Husk: Poor baby. Let Mama get you a drink.

She starts making a dark and stormy.

Y/N: Also Millie and Moxxie's human disguises had me thinking questionable thoughts. The cherry on top of this shit sundae was Moxxie trying to win the approval of the campers, most of which were under the age of consent.

Angel: O_o Totally doesn't sound like pedo behavior. Did anything good happen at all during the week?

Y/N: Blitzo actually grew, sort of, as a person and apparently wants to atone for his fuck ups. 

Husk: That's nice. Though, how is his sister a bitch?

Y/N: She and our target were involved in a massive drug smuggling operation. Plus she's one of those people that uses their looks to manipulate others. Getting to beat her up was *incredibly* satisfying.

Husk brings you your drink.

Y/N: Plus, Loona, Verosika, and the other hellhounds and succubi all pounced on me to make me feel better.

Angel: Lucky bitches.

Husk: Why didn't you call me, baby?

You scratch the back of your neck and sip your drink.

Y/N: I'll make it up to you.

Husk: Damn right you will.

She grabs your collar and pulls you into a kiss.

Angel: (pouting) Just rub it in, why don't you?

Husk flips off Angel.

Transition to Angel in a dimly lit room, tied to a chair, as a Hellhound with a gold tooth approaches him.

Captor: Finally awake, Angel Dust?

Angel glowers, but eventually regains his confident smile.

Angel: Yeah, and what's it to ya?

Captor holds a knife against Angel's face.

Captor: I want you to tell me where your boss stashes his vault.

Angel: (laughs, unbothered) It's hilarious you think I'd tell you anything.

The captor grabs Angel off the ground by the neck.

Captor: Fine. I guess I'll just have to fuck the information outta ya.

Angel: (Stares defiantly) Do your worst. (Breaks into a seductive smile) Daddy.

The captor rips his shirt open and engages in sexual intercourse with Angel, revealing this is a porn film played on the Hotel's TV.

Angel: (On TV) ...Ohhhh, yeahhh, baby!

Cut to Sir Pentious being creeped out, you and Charlie looking nauseous, Vaggie looking annoyed, and Niffty being interested.

Angel: You know, this performance won me a 'Sex-x-xi' award!

Charlie: It's, uh... very... honest?... Oh. 

Y/N: (looking away) That's one word for it.

Charlie turns away, nauseous. She tries to shield her eyes with her right hand.

Vaggie: Ew!

Charlie peeks from her fingers back at the TV screen, before turning her head away to avoid watching, with her hand covering her mouth this time.

Angel: (On TV) Oh, harder, Daddy!

Vaggie: Okay! Enough of that.

Vaggie tries to help Charlie by covering the side of her face with her own hand so she doesn't have to see the TV screen. She turns her head to Angel with a disapproving and unamused stare.

Vaggie: Angel, what the fuck?

Angel: What?! You said was "Show n' Tell" day. I'm showin' you my best film, and I'm tellin' you that it scored me a win over that bitch, Tiffany Titfucker.

Pan to Husk cleaning a wine glass.

Husk: Ya know, not a very convincing interrogation scene.

Y/N: She's got a point. 

Angel: (angry laugh) Ok, what gives you two the right insult my work right to my fuckin' face?

Y/N: Coming from someone who's been interrogated before, it was pretty obvious from the get-go that it was just a porno.

Charlie: Wait, when were you interrogated?

Y/N: It wasn't look after we met. Blitzo fucked up and get us captured by some Men in Black rejects who used weapons from Japan's Edo Period because it was "badass". Even though the Edo Period was known to be a relatively peaceful time in Japan's history. 

Husk: What was the interrogation like?

Y/N: There barely was one. Blitzo, Moxxie, and I just acted obnoxious until they gassed us with something that made us talk about our feelings. Anyway, it was better than whatever the fuck this is.

Angel: Fuck you. This is classy art! (Gestures with two hands at the TV screen)

Co-star slaps Angel's butt and bites it. Sir Pentious covers his eyes when he sees this, while Niffty lies on her stomach on the table with smile, kicking her legs back and forth as she continues watching.

Husk: That's bullshit. You get drunk and bitch about them all the time. Everyone likes to bitch to the bartender. I know everything about all of you at this point. (Gestures to Sir Pentious) That one. That one is an insecure buffoon whose lonely ass watches everyone sleep.

Charlie gives Sir Pentious a weirded out look while Vaggie punches her palm and you conjure a snake-skin jacket and belt on yourself to intimidate him.

Husk: Princess, is a bleeding heart who wants to solve everybody else's problems 'cept her own.

Charlie: What?! No, I-- what? Pffff, no, no.

Husk: (to Vaggie) This one judges everyone and everything because she hates herself.

Vaggie groans loudly.

Husk: Niffty? Huh...you don't even wanna know what her deal is. And Y/N.

She gently puts her hand on the side of your face.

Husk: Baby, I know you've been through a lot but you focus too much on it and miss what's happening now. You've moved far beyond that and have all of us to support you.

She gives you a passionate kiss.

Husk: And there was that other thing, Princess. (smirks)

Charlie: (flustered) I don't know what you're talking about.

Husk: Sure you do.

Charlie: (smiling nervously; avoiding eye contact) Pretty sure I don't.

Flashback to a few nights ago.

The only people at the bar are Husk and a noticeably drunk Charlie.

Charlie: (slurred) Ya know, Husk. Your boyfriend's pretty cute.

Husk: (cleaning glass) Say what, now?

Charlie: Yeah. Just between us gal pals, how is he in bed? Is he just as adorkable?

Husk: (smirks) He's the only one that's ever made me yowl.

Back in the present;

Charlie: (flustered) We're changing the subject!

Husk smirks and backs off as Angel laughs.

Angel: You weren't kidding! Oh ho, wow!

Angel laughs in front of Vaggie's face briefly while she is still frowning before sitting himself down on the couch's arm.

Angel: Kitten's got claws!

Y/N: (to Angel) Yeah, well. Not everyone needs to be a bartender to read people. Especially given how fake some people are.

Angel: Oh ho ho, me? Fake? Wow, I had no idea. Guess that's why I'm an actor, dumbass. And-- (Phone vibrates and rings) Hold that thought. (Answers the phone) Hello? Uh, yeah I'm-I'm... No, No, I just, I... (Nervously) No, I-I'm not... But, uh... Yeah, I'll be right there. (Hangs up) Well, uh... Looks like Val needs me for an... Uh-- emergency shoot.

Husk: Uh-huh, sure.

Angel: You know what? Fuck you. I don't give a shit what some drunk ass bartender or someone who doesn't know what he's missing out on think a' me. 

You and Husk trade annoyed looks as Angel pulls out shades from his chest fluff and puts them on.

Charlie: (Sprints after Angel) Angel, you can't leave yet. (Tries to stop him from leaving by taking his hands and gently leading him back to the lobby) We haven't finished our exercises for the day.

Angel: I'm sure you'll manage without me. (Walks back over to the door to leave, grabs the handle, and opens it)

Charlie sprints back after him and closes the door with her back, trying to block him from leaving.

Charlie: There isn't much time left for the hotel to prove itself.

Angel places his hands on his hips and waist, growing annoyed and facepalming, trying to remain calm before taking off his shades with one hand, and placing another on Charlie's shoulder.

Angel: Dollface, it's my job. I know you want to fix everything but unless you can fix my boss, there's nothing you can do.

Angel leaves and Charlie slumps to the floor with her back pressed against the door.

Charlie: Uuugh, why is this so hard? What am I doing wrong?

Y/N: I mean, you *are* the Princess of Hell. The second most powerful person in this entire realm.

Charlie: So?

Y/N: You don't really use the power that you're given-

Vaggie: -which I love about you, but maybe you can... I don't know, command a little more... Authority?

Charlie: (Whines) But that's so mean.

Vaggie: It's not mean, exactly. It's... uh, aggressive kindness.

Charlie: Okay... I could be so aggressively kind to Angel's boss... That I convince him to let Angel spend more time at the hotel!

Vaggie: Sure, whatever gets you there, babe.

Charlie: Y/N, you should come with. This would be a good lesson for you as well.

Y/N: (unsure) Ok, if you say so.

Cut to Angel working at the porn studio. Valentino supervises and Travis appears as a director.

Angel: Ohhh! Daddy, I... uhhhh?...

Angel reaches behind and underneath one of the pillows and grabs a paper to re-read the script before scoffing.

Angel: Do you really expect me to memorize this whole script?

Valentino: Just improv it. You think anyone watches for the dialogue? (points to Travis, who nervously smiles and shakes his head) Action!

A gang of four demons slam the door open and enter the room, preparing to initiate the sex scene as raunchy music plays.

Angel: Oh, no. So many burglars... (Sexily) and only one me! Whatever shall I do? (Angel quickly glances back at the script before hiding it and setting it aside) I guess I'll have to do all of you!

One demon grabs and pins Angel to the bed.

Angel: Ohh! So what are you gonna do ta' me?

Angel hears the door squeak open as You and Charlie suddenly enter the studio. His eyes widen in a panic.

Angel: (shocked) Charlie?! Y/N?!

Rocky: Uh, my name's Rocky.

Angel: (Pushes Rocky off of him and the bed, sitting up) No one gives a shit.

Cut to you and Charlie walking through the studio.

Charlie: So this is where the magic happens.

Y/N: This is magical to you?

Charlie: Right, you've got a point.

A hellhound-succubus hybrid stands up and casually removes her bra, leaving her completely nude.

Y/N: O_O (nosebleed with puppy whimpers)

Charlie: O_O (bisexual panic). Okay.

Charlie walks off as the woman notices you.

Y/N: Uh, Charlie?

Venus: Aren't you just the cutest thing ever? I'm Venus

Y/N: I'm, uh, I'm Y/N.

You, unable to keep yourself from taking in her full figure, blush hard.

Venus: You know, if you want to suck my tits, you just have to ask me.

Y/N: (flustered) Greatly appreciate the offer but I'm just looking for a friend.

Venus: I could also sit on your face, but I'd have to charge you for it.

Y/N: (still flustered) I'm actually here on business.

Venus: Oh, you are definitely submissive and breedable. Are you sure you don't at least have time for a quickie? If you're not opposed to being filmed, it won't cost you anything.

Y/N: It's actually official business directly from the princess herself.

Venus: (disappointed) Alright. But...

She grabs your belt, pulls you close and slips her number in your pocket and whispers in your ear.

Venus: For when you're done with business and want pleasure.

She gives you a kiss on the cheek before getting back to her shoot.

You walk next to Charlie as Angel approaches you, panicked.

Angel: What in the ever-loving fuck are you two doing here?!

Charlie: (dramatic British accent) I am the Princess of Hell, Angel. And I go where I please. (Whispering softly) We're here to get you some time off for the hotel. Now, where's your boss?

Angel gently, yet firmly, leads you and Charlie towards the door, panicking.

Angel: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You are going nowhere near Val--

Valentino: (off-screen) Angel, what is the fucking hold up?

Angel: I'm...coming!

Valentino: (off-screen) Not off camera, you're not!

A/N: PFFT! That gets me every time.

He gently pushes you and Charlie towards the door, talking fast and panicked.

Angel: Please, please, just wait, wait until I'm done working and we will talk about this, I promise. But first, you've gotta go.

Valentino appears behind Angel.

Valentino: Aaaah, Your Majesty, and the famous Human in Hell.

Angel: (whispers) Oh, shit...

Valentino: (Walks over to you) Welcome to my humble sex dungeon. (He pushes Angel behind him as he bends down and leans towards Charlie) What can I do for such a-- 

He takes Charlie's left arm and pulls up her suit sleeve as he lecherously licks and slurps Charlie's arm, leaving a trail of his saliva.

A/N: VAL!

Charlie: (Grossed out) Ah, uh, no, thank you.

Valentino: Mm! Lovely specimen! You don't want a role, do you? Because I can make you a star, make us both richer than, well, (dips her) your papito--

Charlie: (Backs away, shocked and disgusted) Fuck noooo! Uh, I-I'm sorry.

Valentino briefly glares before turning his attention to you.

Valentino: How about you? Your type is pretty popular and I saw you made fast friends with Venus. She could be your partner.

Y/N: (creeped out by him) Uh...I'm gonna have to respectfully decline.

Valentino: (rolls his eyes) Suit yourself. Now, what can I do for you, Princess?

Charlie: I have come to aggressively, kindly speak with you about Angel.

Valentino stiffens slightly when she mentions that, eyes narrowed and an eyebrow raised in suspicion. Angel waves his hands and gestures for her to stop from behind him.

Y/N: Uh, later! We can always talk later. We wouldn't want to disrupt your work or (to Charlie) get Angel in trouble.

Charlie catches your drift and nods.

Valentino snaps his head to the side, peering over his shoulder and scowls at Angel as he grows more worried.

Valentino: Well then, make yourselves comfortable, and enjoy the show. (Motions the film crew back to the shoot as he walks back to his chair and sits beside Travis) Well, let's take this shit from the top!

Travis: (Laughs) Action!

Angel: Oh, wow, mister robbers. I sure hope you don't hurt me with those... Big guns of yours.

Rocky: Don't move, you spicy little, uuh, cock sleeve or else I'll... (the boom mic gets in his face)

Pan to Charlie whispering to the cameraman about the hotel.

Charlie: (whispering)...We do trust exercises everyday in the morning...

Valentino: Cut! What the fuck is going on with this?!

Charlie: Ooh! I'm sorry. Were we too loud? I was just telling him about the Hazbin Hotel.

Valentino: (Fakes a smile) Not at *all*, Princess! (He glares and gnashes at Angel as he shrinks forward, uneasy) It doesn't bother me one bit.

Charlie: You know, this scene feels awfully violent. If you want help with the script, maybe I can pitch some scenarios that are more whole-- woah!

Charlie trips over a cable and the electricity crackles.

Charlie: Okay. Okay. Ah, ah okay. That's on fire. That-that, that's on fire.

The actors panic as Valentino growls in fury and Charlie frantically tries to put out the flames by fanning them with her jacket.

You run up with a fire extinguisher and extinguish it. Valentino has become even more furious.

Angel: Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck...

Charlie: (Still with suit jacket off) Oh, my gosh, I am so, so, so, so sorry. I-- we can clean this up. We can-

Valentino: (walks up to you and Charlie) Don't you worry about it. We have people for that. (Turns to Angel) Angel (squeak)... can I see you in your dressing room for a moment?

You and Charlie share a concerned look as Valentino leads Angel off.

Angel enters his room and a fuming Valentino slams the door shut.

Angel: Val, I didn't know that--

Before Angel can continue, Valentino grunts in annoyance as he smacks the back of his hand hard across the side of Angel's face, giving his right eye a black eye. He stumbles back in pain, holding the side of his face with his hand as he tries to speak again.

Angel: Val, I--

Angel grunts as Valentino grabs the collar part of his robe and holds him up close to his face, extremely pissed off.

Valentino: You really think you can have Lucifer's little bitch [He throws Angel back, sending him colliding back against a chair that he anxiously shuffles around. He is visibly scared, gasping and panting out of breath.]  or that meddlesome human fight your battles for you?

Valentino growls as he walks closer to Angel, who is still trying to explain.

Angel: Val, please, I'm sorry... She's--

Valentino: You bring them here to protect you? [He reaches his left arm out to Angel with his hand open to touch or possibly grab his chest fluff as Angel backs himself away in the corner of the room in fear, instinctively grabbing his robe to try and cover his chest.] To fuck with me?

Red cigar smoke circles around the back Angel's wrists like cuffs, binding them together. Valentino grabs Angel by the neck and forcefully drags him back before slamming and pinning him down to the couch, causing Angel to yell in pain.

Angel: Ow! Val, stop!

Valentino: [Teeth gnashed.] You think they can get you out of work?

Angel Dust: No! No, that-- that-- that's not-- [Valentino uses his free hand and runs and touches Angel's chest fluff. Angel's voice wavers.] --what I'm trying to do. I-- No--

Valentino growls and violently throws Angel to the ground, causing him to slide to a stop, gasping and grunting heavily.

Valentino: [menacingly] You know they can't do anything.

Valentino manipulates his smoke into a ball before forming it into a chain wrapped around Angel's neck, lifting his head and body up to read his golden contract that's binding him to Valentino signed with his real name, "Anthony".

Valentino: I own you. Or have you forgotten that?

Angel: [Sniffling and whimpering.] No...

Valentino: [Valentino vanishes the contract but still holds onto his smoke chain tightly.] When I say "come", you say?

Angel: Yes, Valentino.

Valentino: [Leans closer to Angel, putting a hand on his shoulder.] When I say "You are fucking twenty guys before lunch," you say?

Angel: [Voice deepening and breaking.] Yes, Valentino.

Valentino: When I say "You better get those fucking [Shouting, grabbing the collar of Angel's robe and holding him up to eye level. Angel has a look of pure terror on his face.] cunts out of my studio." [Caresses the back of his hand against the of Angel's face.] You say?

Angel: Uh, I...

Valentino: [He digs his nails/claws into Angel's face, leaning in closer. His voice becomes much more aggressive.] You say?

Angel: [Holds his hands up.] Look, V-Val, she just gets involved in everything. I-I'll tell them to leave. Just don't hurt them. [Grabbing Valentino's wrists.]

Valentino: [Grabs the collar of Angel's robe again and lifts him up off of the ground. Angel gasps and grunts.] I have killed bitches for less than this attitude you're giving me. You're lucky you make me money. Now, you're going to go get rid of her, [Throws Angel to the ground, who catches himself from the fall. Points at him angrily.] and then you are filming all night. Get me?

Angel: Yes, Val.

Valentino: (Smiles) Good.

Angel reaches his arm from behind him and manages to grab the door handle, opening it a little. Valentino suddenly grabs Angel by the robe, violently dragging him out of the dressing room as he gasps. The door slams and the mirror inside falls over, smashing and shattering.

Back to the studio.

Valentino: All right! (throws a beaten Angel on the bed) Get your asses back on set, and we are taking this from the top!

Seeing Valentino's abuse of Angel reminds you of how you suffered similar abuse at the ends of your mother and sister.

You turn and see Charlie mirroring your expression, furious to the point that her horns come out.

Charlie: (demonic, angry) What makes you think you can treat him like that?!

Y/N: (snarling) I am going to squash you like the bug you are!

Valentino simply stands there, smug, with his arms crossed as the two of you approach, but Angel stands front of Val.

Angel: Guys! Just stop!

Y/N: Angel, why are you protecting this-

Angel: Y/N, Charlie, leave!

Charlie: But--

Angel: I didn't want you to come here. I already asked you to leave and you didn't listen. You made things worse.

Charlie: We just wanted to help you.

Angel: Well, you ain't! You actually want to help me? Get the fuck out of here! Right now, and let me finish my work.

Charlie: I... I didn't (Angel glares)... (Sob) mean to! (Looks at the smug Valentino) I... I'm... I'm so sorry.

Charlie sobs and leaves the studio in tears, slamming the door behind her. You look to Angel looking disappointed in himself, to Valentino's smug grin, and hesitantly leave to try to comfort Charlie.

Valentino: (Laughs and chuckles lowly in satisfaction, approaching Angel from behind, putting his hands on his shoulders and leaning over his back) Good boy.

Cuts to Angel resuming his film with makeup applied to his face to cover his black eye.

Valentino: And... action.

https://youtu.be/xEGWKXwUb54

Cut to a worn out Angel Dust returning to the Hotel while groaning. Charlie awkwardly waves at him but is ignored. Angel drops himself on a stool next to Husks' bar next to you as she cleans a glass cup.

Angel Dust: Eugh, I need a drink. The hardest you can make.

Husk: Hmm, You look like shit.

Y/N: Babe, don't-

Angel: (Takes a deep breath and regains his cocky smile.) Pfft, Not possible. Just a long shoot, nothin' new. (Husk rolls her eyes as soon. As she pours the liquor, Angel snatches the glass and gulps down the alcohol but leaving a small portion spilled) Eugh, I said a strong one.

Husk: Excuse me. Didn't realize this was a "drinking to forget" kind of night.

Angel: Oh, I forgot. You're the wise old bartender who's seen it all. Get the fuck over yourself and pour me real drink. (Angel uses the tip of his index finger and spills the full cup of alcohol)

Husk rolls her eyes and cleans up the spilled alcohol.

Y/N: Look, Angel, I know you went through a lot today, but lashing out like this isn't gonna help you.

Angel: Oh sure, and what is gonna help me? (seductive) Sharing your bed, maybe?

Y/N: Don't even try it.

Angel: C'mon. I bet I could make that tail wag. 

He runs his hand down your tail before you growl and shove him away.

Y/N: Stop! Good God, man! Your whole "seductive porn star" persona is never gonna work on me, so cut the act. You're just acting fake and embarrassing yourself.

Angel gets up in your face, now furious.

Angel: Call me fake one more time, motherfucker! I dare you.

You lean close and poke Angel in the chest fluff.

Y/N: Fake. (smug smile)

Angel: (rising) Fuckin' asshole! 

He hits his head on the bar and falls to the floor.

Angel: Argh! God!

Y/N: You done? 

Angel: (Growls angrily) Ya know what? You would be fucking lucky to get a chance to fuck me! 

He throws a half-broken bottle at you. You bat it aside with an unamused expression.

Angel: (unhinged laughter) You know how much I'm worth? You know how many people would kill to have (fluffs chest) Angel Dust come onto them? Fuck you!

Angel storms out of the hotel, pushing past Vaggie.

Vaggie: Woah-- The hell? Angel, where are you going?

Angel: (Offscreen) Out! (Door slams)

Vaggie: Y/N, what did you do?

Y/N: Why do you always assume I'm the instigator? (mumbles) Getting pretty fuckin' sick of it.

Charlie: (Worried) Oh, no. He looks really upset.

Husk: (Waves off, dismissively) It's just Angel. He'll be fine.

Charlie: I'm not so sure. (to Vaggie) I really messed up at the studio today and he got... Ugh, it was... It wasn't good, okay?

Vaggie tucks Charlie's hair behind her ear and gives her a reassuring smile, then turns to you.

Vaggie: (glaring) Gee, sounds like someone should go after him. Someone named "Y/N".

Y/N: Yeah, yeah. But I'm only going because I'm concerned about him, not because you told me to.

Husk: I'll go with you.

The two of you head out.

Charlie: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go write one hundred apology letters and a lesson planned for tomorrow about... Boundaries.

Cut to Angel sitting in a bar booth with a gang of shark demons, snorting drugs.

Angel: Oh, yeah.

You and Husk enter, sitting at the bar as the bartender turns to you.

Husk: Gimme a whiskey.

Y/N: I'm fine with just water.

The bartender brings you a glass and pours Whiskey for Husk.

Husk: I meant the whole bottle, jackass.

She chugs from it before noticing you looking concerned.

Husk: Uh, never mind. (pours a glass and gives the bottle back)

Angel: (laughing loudly) I'm so fucked up! Ahaha! So I said, "you couldn't afford me in a million afterlives!" I got better options, right boys?

Demon: You got that right!

The gangsters laugh while you growl in disgust at the scene.

Angel: (To one demon) Hey, baby, be a doll and bring me another one? Daddy's outta juice!

The gangster goes to the bar and pulls a vial of love potion out of his jacket and pours it into Angel's drink as you and Husk grow even more disgusted.

Y/N: (muttering) Son of a *bitch*...

The gangster returns to Angel.

Demon: Here you go, darling. Just for you--

You appear behind him and lift him up by his suit jacket.

Y/N: Nice try, scumbag.

You toss him into a jukebox before punching another thug that rises out of the booth.

A third thug pulls a knife out before Husk kicks him in the crotch and tosses him across a table. 

Y/N: (grabbing Angel) Let's go!

Husk throws a playing card at a hanging net, causing it to fall on top of more gangster trying to rush you.

The two of you drag Angel out of the bar.

Angel: Guys! What the actual fuck are you doing here? Let go of me.

Husk: No. You're coming back to the Hotel with us.

Angel: Get off!

Y/N: That piece of shit was trying to roofie you.

Angel: You don't think I can tell if someone spikes my drink? I do this all the fuckin' time!

Y/N: You just let creeps drug you all the time?!

Angel: You think I ask for it? I don't ask for any of this shit! I didn't ask to be this way. I didn't ask for Charlie to save me, I didn't ask for *you* to save me. I can handle myself.

Husk: Really? Because I just saw someone self-destructing. It seems like... I don't know...(pulls on suspenders) you might need a bartender to talk to.

Angel: (Chuckles, incredulous) Oh, so now you're going to act like you give a shit about me? You two think after how you treated me, I'm gonna open up to you? Please. (Walks off.)

Y/N: Maybe I'd be nicer to you if you were real, and not some bullshit version of yourself, always violating my personal space to cover your insecurities! Let me tell you,*nobody* in that hotel cares who you are! How famous, how hot, so you might as well just... cut the act.

Angel stops walking, eyes widening before tears form in the corner of his eyes. He drops the Angel Dust persona completely.

Angel: It's *not* an act!

You and Husk flinch back a bit and stare at Angel in shock.

Angel: (Sobbing) It's who I need to be. (Crosses arms to chest) And this... (Gestures to the redlight street.) This is my escape. Where I can forget about it all! How much I hate... *everything*. A place where I can get high, and not have to think about how much it hurts. And maybe... If I can ruin myself enough in the process... if I end up broken, I won't be his favorite toy anymore...and maybe he'll let me go...

Angel sits down on the sidewalk, curling up into a small ball with his legs close to his chest with his arms wrapped around them and his head buried into his knees.

You and Husk look at Angel with sympathy and pity before sitting down on either side of him.

Husk: [Sighs.] I was an Overlord once, you know. [You and Angel stare at her.] Yeah, and uh... It was nice to have that power. But when you're dealing in souls [Flashback to the past Husk gambling.] while also being a gambler, [Past Husk spreads out a deck of cards.] the stakes are pretty high. And losing a few hands can be more than a little dangerous. [Husk begins losing the gamble, signified by the numbers of the cards counting down from 10.] So when you're down on your luck, you turn to anything to... [Card shows Alastra's figure.] Keep you afloat, even making deals with yourself. [Alastra now appears holding the cards, looming over Husk to pick the card.]

Scene switches back to the forlorn present Husk.

Husk: So I know what it's like to... Regret the choices made... And knowin' ya can't take it back.

https://youtu.be/9sVoglgJjRg

Husk: So things look bad, and your back's against the wall

Your whole existence seems fuckin' hopeless

You're feelin' filthy as a dive bar bathroom stall

Y/N: Can't face the world sober and dopeless

You've lost your way, you think your life is wrecked

Well, let me just say you're correct

Angel: Wait, what?

Y/N: You're a loser, baby

A loser, goddamn baby

You're a fucked up little whiny bitch

Angel: Hey!

Y/N: You're a loser just like me.

Angel: Thanks, asshole!

Husk: You're a screw's-loose-boozer

An only one-star reviews-er

Y/N: You're a power-bottom at rock bottom

But you got company.

Angel: This supposed to make me feel better?

Y/N: There was a time I thought no one could relate

To the gruesome ways in which I'm damaged

But lettin' walls down, it can sometimes set you straight!

Husk: We're all living in the same shit sandwich.

Angel: I sold my soul to a psychopathic freak.

Husk: Haha! And you think that makes you unique?

Get outta here, man!

We're all losers, baby

We're losers, it's okay to be a--

Angel: Coked up, dick-suckin' hoe?

Y/N: Baby, that's fine by me

Angel: I'm a loser, honey,

A schmoozer and a dummy!

But at least I know I'm not alone

Husk: You're a loser

All: Just like me!

Husk: I got an appetite for gamblin'

Angel Dust: I got an appetite for samplin' every drug and sex toy I can find!

Husk: Go ahead baby, sing that song, come on!

Angel: I got no holes left to deflower

Husk: I sold my soul to save my power

Now I'm on that demon's leash

Angel and Husk: I'm trapped and it gets worse with every hour

Angel: You're both losers, babies

Y/N: We're losers, but just maybe if we

All: Eat shit together, things will end up differently!

Y/N: It's time to lose your self-loathin'

Excuse yourself, let hope in, baby

Husk: Play your card, be who you are

All: A loser, just like-

The shark demons show up.

Gangster: There he is! They're fuckin' *singing*?! Get 'em!

The gangsters open fire as you a conjure a shield and a lightsaber. 

Husk winks at you.

Husk: Watch this, baby.

She kills a few gangsters with her playing cards.

Y/N: I'm scaroused.

You block gunfire before slashing a couple gangsters with your lightsaber before Angel kills a gangster with a Tommy gun.

Angel pulls out 5 extra guns and begins fighting the rest of the demons with you and Husk until they're reduced to piles of mush.

Hammerhead gangster: This did not go as planned -(dies)

The three of you are shown covered in blood. 

Husk: Well, that was something I didn't expect to see.

Angel: Like I said, you don't know me. Sex ain't the only thing I'm good at.

Y/N: Good to know. 'Cause *this* guy ain't half bad.

You open a portal to the exterior of the Hotel.

Y/N: You guys go on ahead. I got one more thing to take care of.

Husk: Are you sure, babe?

Y/N: Positive. (reassuring) Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.

The two of you kiss before Husk and Angel walk through the portal. 

Cut to the two of them entering the lobby, laughing together.

Angel: He had like 3 bills, and it took him 30 minutes to count them. His eyes are so shit!

A/N: In case you don't know, this is a reference to old artwork of Valentino from before his redesign. This squeaky motherfucker looks so confused. 

Husk: Hehe, and this is the guy you gotta take orders from?

Angel: I know! What a fucking joke, right?

Charlie rushes to Angel in relief and hugs him tightly.

Charlie: I'm *so* sorry, Angel. I promise I won't ever, ever, ever, ever-

Angel: Charlie, it's fine. I get it. Thanks... for caring about me.

Charlie weeps tears of joy. Angel picks her up and gives her to Vaggie.

Angel: Ehh, I think this is yours.

Vaggie: Okay missy, let's get you to bed.

Charlie: (still blubbering) He-he-he said he - for-forgave me! It's so beautiful, Vaggie...

Husk: Hey, how about that drink?

Angel: You read my mind.

Cut back to Valentino's studio. He's getting ready to shoot a new scene when several pained grunts are heard from outside. 

Valentino: Seriously?! What is going on? Is it "Fuck Valentino, but not a sexy way" day?

You kick the door to the studio open, looking pissed.

Valentino: Ugh, you again. What do you want this time?

Y/N: Paypack. You're gonna pay for what you did to Angel, Valentino.

Valentino: (smug laugh) Oh, am I? Look around you. I'm one of the most powerful Overlords in this shit hole, and-

You conjure a blessed rifle.

Valentino: O_O. Well, shit. (yelling to his goons) Don't kill him, or he'll just respawn, but...do something to him! Teach him a lesson!

Valentino runs off. A couple of goons reach for their weapons before you shoot them dead.

A goon shoots before you blast him and he falls on the bed. 

Travis yelps and ducks for cover as a goon recklessly fires. You shoot the gun out of his hand before hit him with the butt of your rifle, knocking out several teeth.

A goon fires at you from the balcony before you shoot him and his corpse falls off.

As you walk up the stairs, a stray bullet hits the wall by your head. 

You turn and see Travis nervously holding a smoking gun. You roll your eyes and kneecap him. 

You walk down the hall and see a squad of goons advancing on you. You conjure a grenade and pull the pin out with your teeth before tossing it towards them. They panic and scramble before it detonates.

Someone shoots through the hazy smoke, their bullets missing completely.

You open a door in the hallway and walk through.

Venus: Y/N?!

Y/N: Uh...Hi, Venus.

Venus: What are you doing here?

Y/N: Trying to kill your scumbag of a boss, but it unfortunately isn't going to well so far.

Venus: Why?

Y/N: Because I've seen the way this waste of space treats Angel and I can't imagine he treats the rest of the performers working under him much better. None of you deserve this kind of treatment.

Venus gives you a genuine smile, her eyes briefly turning into hearts, before the two of you hear one of Valentino's thugs.

Goon: Start searching the rooms. He can't have gotten far!

Y/N: Aw, shit...

Venus: I have an idea. (tail-wagging) It's a little unconventional, but just bear with me. 

Y/N: Ok...what did you have in mind?

Without a word, Venus pushes you on her bed and starts making-out with you while pulling the covers up.

Seconds later, two of the goons burst in.

Goon 1: Do you see him?

Goon 2: Nah, it's just two of the boss' whores getting frisky. Keep moving. 

 The two of them move on. Just to be sure, Venus waits a minute before she steps kissing you.

Venus: Sorry.

Y/N: (flustered) Nothing to apologize for.

Venus: (peaking out into the hallway) The coast is clear. And...good luck.

Venus pulls you close and smothers you with kisses for a few seconds before letting you go.

Flustered and determined, you pick your rifle up and head further down the hall.

Cut to Valentino in his room, smoking a cigarette to calm his nerves while standing in the corner and holding one of his guns.

You shoot the lock to his door off and walk in. Right after doing so, Valentino sneaks up on you from behind and smacks the gun out of your hand before lifting you off your feet. You teleport the gun away so Valentino can't use it in the future. 

Valentino: You think you're the first person to take a shot at me, punk?! Better men than you have tried.

He tosses you across the room and you collide with the window.

He aims his gun at you and smirks.

Valentino: I'm not gonna kill you, don't need the Princess another reason to be pissed at me or you respawning and becoming more powerful. But I'm gonna show you what happens when someone fucks with me. 

He shoots and you  jump out of the way. He fires a couple more times and a bullet ends up tearing through your shoulder.

You yell in pain before Valentino punches you. He then begins strangling you with two hands and slams you against the wall.

Valentino: Let this be a lesson to you, kid. Nobody messes with Valentino. (smirks evilly)

While Valentino was gloating, he didn't notice you discreetly summoning a demodog. It catches him off guard by gently bumping its head against his leg.

Valentino: The fuck?

The demodog looks to you.

Y/N: (strangled) Sic 'em.

The demodog growls before pouncing, biting Val's crotch and bringing him to the floor.

Valentino: (yelling in agony) Vox! Velvette! Help!

Velvette: (off-screen) Stop yelling, piss baby! You're cutting into our karaoke and streaming time!

In desperation, Valentino lashes out with a blast of magic, hitting you square in the chest and knocking you through the window, causing you to plummet down several stories. 

You open a portal and slow your descent at the last second and roughly fall on your back right outside the hotel.

Y/N: (rubbing your shoulder) Gah...that sucked.

You stagger into the lobby. Only Vaggie is present.

Vaggie: Where the fuck have *you* been?!

She notices Venus' lipstick marks on your face.

Vaggie: So, you were just shacking up with some-

You summon a tentacle that wraps around Vaggie's neck, shutting her up and letting you get in her face.

Y/N: I am not in the mood for your bullshit.

The rest of the Hotel crew enter, overhearing the commotion.

Angel: Y/N?!

Charlie: What's going on?! 

You let Vaggie go.

Angel: Is that Venus's lipstick?

Y/N: Yeah. She helped me.

Husk: Helped you? What do you mean (sees full extent of your injuries)- Baby, what happened?!

Y/N: I...tried to kill Valentino.

Vaggie: You WHAT?

Charlie: Why did you try to do that?

Y/N: I had to do *something* help Angel and the others stuck working for that complete scumbag. Or else he's just going to ruin more lives.

Pan to Vaggie looking extremely guilty over her initial accusation.

Alastra is shown being barely able to keep her usual demeanor. 

Angel: (voice cracking) Y/N, I- You didn't have to-

Husk: (kneeling next to you) Will someone please just do something?!

Cut to you in bed, your bullet wound patched up. Fat Nuggets, Keekee, and Razzle & Dazzle are shown curled up next to you somewhere. 

HusK: Get better soon, baby. You're tough.

Alastra: Valentino will pay for this, darling.

Both of them gently kiss you before leaving the room.

Angel approaches you.

Y/N: Angel, I-

You're cut off as Angel hugs you tightly and cries softly.

Angel: I never thought anyone would be willing to do something like this for me.

He lets go.

Angel: Thank you, Y/N. I mean it.

He leaves.

Vaggie: Y/N, I...I owe you an apology. A lot of apologies, actually. It wasn't fair of me to automatically assume the worst of you, and I promise, I'm going to treat you differently from now on.

Y/N: Thanks, Vaggie. 

Vaggie smiles awkwardly before exiting, leaving only you and Charlie. 

Charlie: I really shouldn't be condoning you going after powerful overlords, or anyone who does something you don't like, but...I get it. 

Y/N: Isn't there anything you can do about filth like Valentino? You're the Princess. Can't you just....disintegrate him or something?

Charlie: If only it were that simple. The politics and ramifications of Hell's hierarchy are...tricky. But I know you were coming from a good place, Y/N. You're...(leans in closer) definitely not what I expected what I thought meeting my first human would be like.

Y/N: (teasing) Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Charlie: (leans closer) It's definitely a good thing.

She gently kisses you on the cheek. Both of you become flustered right after.

Y/N: (flustered) Uhhh...what was that for?

Charlie: (flustered) Uhh, a kiss for good luck on recovering?

Y/N: (flustered) Yeah. Good luck. Right. 

Charlie: Get well soon.

She leaves the room quickly.

Charlie: Why'd I do that, why'd I do that, why'd I do that?!

End of Episode.