Chapter 61: Exes and Oohs Part 1
One day, in the I.M.P office, most of the I.M.P members are in the meeting room as they do their own thing. Looking at their phones, having coffee, and simply relaxing around until they have work that needs to be done.
Moxxie looks around a bit and starts the conversation, "You know, I checked the scale today." He inhales and says, "And it said I lost two pounds this week."
Loona looks at Moxxie, rolls her eyes, and back to her phone, not taking an interest.
"That sounds good, have you gained a bit of muscle yet?" Randall questions.
"No. I haven't," Moxie replies, annoyed as he rolls his eyes.
Suddenly, the door is kicked open by Millie who is furious. She stomps around the office mumbling angrily. Passing Loona, as she throws her cup on the table and it lands perfectly on the table. She then hits the button that is labeled 'Nut button,' and summons a cardboard cutout of a human man saying 'Hi I'm a Human!.' She then angrily throws a knife and lunges at him and viciously attacks it. Everyone looks at Millie with confused and concerned looks, and not sure on what to say.
Moxxie then decides to ask, "Millie, honey. Everything okay?"
Millie hisses back at Moxxie, disturbing Moxxie and the others even more. Finally, Millie has calmed down.
"Yeah. Just... bumped into an ex," Millie says, and rattles her tail
"Oh! Oh..." Moxie replies, understanding what she's talking about.
"An ex? I didn't know you had an ex?" Blitz questions.
"I did. It was a long time ago," Millie says.
"I'm guessing this guy has gotten on your nerves," Drew says.
"More than just my nerves," Millie says.
She slides off the cutout as she says, "He just kept going on about how he has money now, and 'a bright future,' and 'a bigger cock.'"
"Wait, what?" Moxxie says, confused.
Then Millie yells, "Every time I see his stupid face, I can't help it, I just need to-" And then punches the filing cabinet in frustration.
Soon, Sarge walks out and asks, "What's all the noise in here? I'm in the middle of a call with a client."
"Millie has blown a fuse involving her ex," Randall says.
"Alright then, but do clean up the mess and keep the noise down while I'm in the middle of the call," Sarge says, and walks back into his office
"Yes sir," Moxxie says, and begins to clean up the mess.
Berry sighs and says, "I had the same problem with an ex. I actually had an ex myself and that sleaze shark really got on my nerves when he fuck with anyone he sees, including myself."
"Sounds a lot like my ex," Millie says, still annoyed.
Meanwhile, in the office, Sarge is still in the middle of the call, "Okay, so let me get this straight: you don't want us going to Earth at all for this job?"
In what seems like a mansion, with a businessman holding a light cigar, and his chair facing a green fireplace.
"Correct," The client answers, "That will not be necessary. I'd like to meet you and your whole crew at my estate."
Then Sarge says, "So, you want us killing someone in Hell. My crew and I can handle it. Of course, we don't do jobs in Hell as much anymore.
"I'll tell ya all about it when you get here,"The client says, and smokes the cigar, "It's in regards to a business venture I'm sure will be very worth..." through the phone, "Your time."
"Of course," Sarge says.
Then he asks, "Okay then, so what's the address to your estate?
"Transportation has already been taken care of," The client says over the phone.
Soon, Sarge spots something flying past the window, and rushes to the main office where the others are to find a helicopter in front of the main window.
"What the fuck is that?" Sarge questions.
The helicopter shoots a grappling hook under the window, breaks the wall in the process. Loona looks at the event without a single word.
"Satan's ass crack! Enough with the wall shit, we have a door!" Randall shouts.
Above, the helicopter approaches the broken wall, creating a bridge for them to walk upon.
The pilot steps out and shouts, "I.M.P.? Right this way, please!" And walks away.
Confused Moxxie asks, "Uh, sir? What's going on?" as he, and the others bring out their weapons.
"Now don't worry, it's just the transportation our client sent for us to go to Greed," Sarge says.
"Why?" Drew asks.
"He said he wanted to discuss business with us. And he wants all of us to go," Sarge says.
"Are you sure you need me to go?" Blitz asks.
"Yes. It will help you a bit more to discuss with our client in a different field," Sarge says.
"Okay then," Blitz says.
Sarge then turns to Loona, "Alright Loona, you'll be staying here."
"And is it alright if you take Mimmy home?" Blitz asks.
"Got it," Loona says.
"Thanks," Blitz says.
Mimmy hugs Blitz, "Bye daddy."
"Bye Mimmy, you be good now," Blitz says.
And with that, Sarge, Moxxie, Millie, Berry, Drew, Razor, Randall, and Blitz walk on the walkway.
Moxxie looks down and says, "Uh, sir, I don't think this is a good idea."
"I'm sure it will be fine. And if something happens, then you know what we need to do," Sarge says.
"Yeah Moxxie, so get your ass moving," Randall says and shoves Moxxie, Millie, Blitz and Berry inside the helicopter, and they decide to take their seats.
Millie tries to buckle up, but notices the seatbelts are broken.
"Is this thing safe?!" Millie asks.
"Don't worry, we are professionals," The pilot says.
Of course, they are not careful as they take flight out a huge chunk of a wall as they fly off.
Later, the helicopter flies out of a hanger in the Greed Ring as they fly over Loo Loo Land, along with other carnages as they fly over the sign that reads. 'Welcome to Nomafia Town; No mafia here! We're Mafia-free!'"
"Talk about false claims," Blitz points out.
Moxxie lets out a disdained groan, "I hate this place."
"Oh yeah, this is your old stomping ground, isn't it Mox?" Randall questions.
"Yeah unfortunately," Moxxie says and looks out the window, "I grew up just over there, swore I'd never come back, and-" However, he notices something that has him anxious, "Uh... uh- what- what, where are we going?"
The helicopter starts changing directions, making Moxxie grow more and more anxious.
Moxie then turns to Sarge, "What- Sarge... who did you say this meeting was with?"
"He told me his name was Crimson," Sarge says.
The helicopter finally lands, and the hatch opens to reveal the location.
However, Moxie grows heavily worried in realization, "Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NOO!"
The place they arrive is a huge mansion, dark smokes fuming through both the chimneys. Moxxie shivers in fear of the place, but Millie helps him out of the helicopter.
Soon enough, the group meets the client as he speaks up, "Thereeee heeee issss!"
Soon the client walks out as he says, "There's my boy! Get over here and give ya daddy a hug
"Daddy?!" Everyone but Sarge reacts in surprise.
The Imp before them is actually Moxxie's dad. He actually looks a lot like Moxxie, but also has a lot of differences.
Like Moxxie, this Imp has white hair, but a little more sporting messy hair. He also has black and white horns with a similar shape, and yellow sclera. He has a darker shade of crimson and his sideburns are longer and bushier. Around his eyes are white markings with the right being larger than the left. He possesses a crooked and bent tail with white accents near the base and right on top of the fork. Unlike Moxxie, his legs appear to be plantigrade, akin to a regular human, rather than digitigrade. One of his fangs has been replaced with a golden fang. Physically, he stands at an average height for an imp, being slightly taller than Moxxie and closer to height as Blitzo.
His attire consists of a red high-collar shirt that grips his neck, topped by a navy blue suit with light blue accents, thin red stripes, red buttons, and red lining. His pants are a dark blue which also have thin red stripes, and wears a black fedora with red and white band. His shoes are black and red heeled dress shoes, which may be altering his height, assuming his feet are differently shaped than Moxxie's.
"I only let Moxxie call me that..." The client says, "Unless ya pay me!" and laughs.
"Guys," Moxxie says, and clears his throat.
He then says, "This is my father, Crimson. Sir, this is my boss, Sarge. My colleagues, Berry, and her brother Drew, Randall, Razor, and Blitz. And my-"
And Millie brings her hand out, "Millie! I'm his wife!" to greet Crimson.
Crimson then accepts her hand, "And what a beautiful wife you are." And kisses her in the hand, "Mox, where have you been hiding this pretty little thang?"
"Oh, I'm sure he would've introduced us... eventually," Millie says.
"Oh, I'm sure," Crimson says.
He then turns to Sarge for a handshake, "You gotta be Sarge. Sarge Ryder. I've heard a lot of good things about you and your work."
"Really now?" Sarge questions.
"That's right. From all over. Looks like you're building a bit of a name for yourself here," Crimson says.
"Please to know that my reputation precedes me," Sarge says calmly.
Crimson laughs and says, "I like your attitude. Well, I hope you're all hungry. We put together a fabulous dinner for you."
Then Crimson and Sarge walk towards the mansion. Blitz and the others follow while Moxxie and Millie stay behind.
Millie turns to Moxxie and asks, "Hey baby, why haven't I met your Pa before?"
"Well uhhh, y'know, i-it's just, never been uhh-" Moxxie nervously tries to explain, adjusting his bowtie.
But then Crimson calls out, "Hey you two, move it before it gets cold."
"Look, look, Millie, we can talk about it later," Moxxie says.
Millie then takes Moxxie's hand and brother enters the house with Sarge and the others.
Once all of them enter the house, Crimson' smile fades before he snaps his fingers and enters the house, leaving the two shark demons standing in front of the door, closing the door behind them.
Once inside, everyone is seated down as Crimson pours Sarge.
Crimson asks, "So, Sarge, ya always been a hitman?" and walks to Sarge to give him his drink.
"No, no, not always. Yeah," Sarge answers, "I used to be part of a group a long time ago before I went solo before starting this company."
"You don't say," Crimson says and takes a seat.
Everyone sits in the room in an awkward silence, not sure what to say as Crimson brings out a cigar from the pocket of his jacket.
Moxxie breaks the silence to ask, "What are we doing here, sir?
"Moxxie, I raised you better than that," Crimson says, and lights up his cigar, "Ya know there's no business before dinner. Besides, we're still waitin' on one more."
Suddenly the door is knocked open, but the last guest, making an entrance.
As the guest shouts in excitement, "Woo-hoo-hoo, what is up, party people?!"
The last guest appears as a tall, shark demon having gray-toned skin with a yellow underside and gills; his fins also sport a similar pattern, but have dark green accents and white spots on their ends. His sclera are neon blue with white rings, with the right eye having a small scar on it. He also has two scars on his chest and a scar on his upper left arm. He has short, evergreen hair that sticks upwards, with dark horns protruding from his head. He also sports sea green teeth and a long tail where that is missing its skin having jagged ends with light tips. He dons a gray striped shirt that's topped by a navy green jacket with white accents and bone designs on its sleeves. His pants are the same color, which are tied by a belt with a bone buckle; his shoes are dark, having green tips on the front. He also wears a small, gray fedora on his head.
Seeing the Shark Demon, Millie, Moxxie, and Berry react in shock, "CHAZ?!"
And soon look at each other in shock, "Wait... What?!"
"You both know him?!" Moxxie asks.
Millie groans as she slaps her forehead, "You remember that 'ex' I was talking about?"
"Yeah. And you remember the shark ex I had," Berry adds, annoyed and frustrated.
The shark demon, Chaz walks over and gives Berry and the married couple a hug, "Looks like I got three big sex reunions today." And says in a singing tone, "How lucky am I?!"
"Did you date him too?!" Millie asks, surprised.
"Ha, yeah. No big deal, but I usually bone half the people in any room I'm in-" Chaz says.
"Are you fukin kidding me?! There's someone who fucked all three of you?!" Randall explains in shock.
"I'm surprised you three actually dated the same demon," Blitz replies.
Moxxie pushes Chaz's arms off of Millie and himself, "It was a long time ago."
"But I still remember it like it was yesterday. You, a fledgling mafioso! Me, the dashing and extremely sexy muscle! It was like," Chaz says, and fondly says, "It was written in the stars."
"Mafioso? As in the Mafia?" Berry asks, looking rather shocked.
Randall laughs, "Ha! Moxxie in the mafia?! That's fuckin rich!"
But Drew says, "Uh guys..."
However, looking around the room, Sarge, and the others notice the items that back up Chaz's story: A photo og Crimson and a well known Mob Boss, many trophies of Hellbeasts hanging on the wall, a framed family painting of Crimson, Moxxie as a child, and Moxxie's mother, posing like a mob family hanging over the fireplace. Everyone hears a knock on the door and looks just in time for Crimson's men to enter carrying a body bag.
"Oh shit," Randall and Razor say, shocked.
Even Drew is shocked, "I don't believe it."
"You've got to be kidding me," Berry adds, stunned.
Millie turns to Moxxie in concern, "You've never told me this before."
"I don't like to talk about this part of my life. But," Moxie says, then explains in a dramatic tone, "I first saw Chaz at my induction... in the family. Our eyes met from across the room. And there was just something about him... something that was... magnetic!"
Flashback:
The day Moxxie has been inducted into the family and welcomed into the business, Moxxie looks around and stops to see Chaz among the crowd, grinning and applauding. Moxxie blushes at the attention Chaz is given him.
During a mob turf way, Moxxie throws a tommy gun and pulls out a grenade, but it slips out of his hand. Moxxie runs to grab it and catches the moment Chaz grabs it, and their hands touch. They both share a smile before Moxxie picks up the grenade, pulls the pin and throws it away. Chaz and Moxxie stare fondly at each other as the grenade explodes in the distance, the smoke forming the shape of a heart.
The scene switches over to Moxxie greeting Chaz at the door. Chaz is holding signs that he lets fall from his hands. The signs say "TELL YOUR DAD IT'S A SALESMAN" "I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU" and "MOKSIE, WILL YOU BONE WITH ME?" Moxxie blushes fondly and lets Chaz in.
Another scene has Moxxie polishing a rifle when Chaz comes up from behind and assists. Moxxie grows aroused by the interaction.
In another scene Moxxie poses nude, except for a necklace and his socks, on the couch while Chaz paints him.
Flashback Ends:
"It's been 84 years..." Moxxie adds in a dramatic tone.
Confused, Blitz asks, "Isn't that from that "boat" movie?"
"Did any of that stuff actually happen?" Millie questions.
"Oh yeah!" Chaz says as he licks his lips, "But he skipped over the jizz covered part."
Blitz turns away in disgust and mutters, "Gross..."
Moxxie continues, "Anyway. Things changed when we went on a heist together."
Flashback:
In the heist, Moxxie, carrying the money, is running with Chaz to the exit as the security gate begins to drop. Moxxie throws the money out of the bank and catches the gate with his shoulders to give Chaz time to slide under. Moxxie tries to escape but his leg and tail are caught under the gate when it drops to the floor. After struggling to get out he turns to Chaz for help. Chaz suddenly hears the police sirens and grabs the money, giving Moxxie a final look before running off, leaving Moxxie devastated. Moxxie is thrown inside a jail cell. He sadly climbs into the bottom bunk of the bed.
"So what're you in for?" The cellmate asks.
Moxxie quietly pulls his tail closer to him. Lying on the top bunk, the cellmate reveals to be Randall.
"Okay, not much of a talker, are you?" Randall replies.
Randall hops off his bunk to shake Moxxie's hand, "I'm Randall. Randall Scatters Pleasure to meet you. I'm sure we're gonna get along just fine. So, what's your deal? What'd you do? Who'd you diddle? You look like someone who's good with a gun. You look like someone who could shoot up an office."
Moxxie attempts to speak but Randall continues, "And I hope you are 'cuz I got a plan to get us out of this dump but I'm gonna need some help, you think you can give me a hand? I need to get out and back to the Pride Ring to meet my boss. Sarge will kill me if I don't get back soon..."
Moxxie tearfully smiles as Randall continues talking about his escape plan.
Flashback Ends:
"Once I got out, I never looked back," Moxxie says
Randall chuckles, "Oh yeah, I remember that. After busting out, I let Moxxie tag with me to Pride and introduce him to Sarge. And soon enough, Moxxie started working for the company." But soon notices the intense atmosphere.
Berry, Drew, and Blitz look with worried looks as Millie growls and glares viciously towards nervous looking Chaz. Crimson, Razor, and Sarge frown in their seats.
"Well, heh, like you said, it was a long time ago," Chaz nervously says, letting out chuckles and pulling the collar of his shirt.
But soon notices the fury in Millie's eyes.
Foaming at the mouth and down right furious, Millie screams, "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"
Millie brings out her knife and leaps onto the couch to attack Chaz. Chaz dodges as Millie's knife pierces through the fabric of the couch.
Chaz quickly hides behind Crimson's chair in a panic, "Whoa, the fuck! Crazy bitch."
Millie tries to lunge at Chaz again, but is intercepted by Sarge, Blitz, and Moxxie.
Crimson stands between them as well, "Hey, hey hey, hey hey! Hey, hey hold it!" Trying to stop Millie.
Millie angrily says to Chaz, "You're gonna die, bitch!"
Soon, the maid comes in and says in a french accent, "Dinner is served."
Soon, everyone is seated in the dining room. Millie viciously cuts through her food but the room is completely silent after the earlier event.
Blitz whispers to Berry, "You think it's a good idea to let Millie sit close to Chaz."
"Not sure. Millie looks like she's ready to kill Chaz at any moment. I can understand why," Berry says.
"Well, this is aggressively uncomfortable," Sarge calmly comments.
Just then Crimson says, "I suppose you wanna know why you're here."
"Yes. You said that you wanted to do business with us, and..." Sarge says.
But Crimsons says, "I don't wanna do business with I.M.P, I wanna do business with Moxxie."
Moxxie stops cutting his food in shock, "ME?!"
"Yeah, kid," Crimson says, "I only summoned I.M.P to be sure you'd show. Because, well, we're bringin' Chaz into the family."
Chaz smirks while raising his eyebrows.
"What? Since when can just anyone join the family?" Moxxie questions.
"Come on, Mox. You had responsibilities here that," Crimson says as his tone becomes bitter, "I had to pick up once you left. Now Chaz is going to lighten the load."
But Moxxie points out, "Wait, thought you always hated his guts."
Chaz looks confused as Crimson says, "Well, I don't that I exactly 'hated' him."
But Moxxie says, "You called him a 'friendless horse-fucker' and said we lived a 'sissy lifestyle'."
"Yeah, well I was wrong. You've been gone a long time, Mox. A man can change. And so has Chaz," Crimson says.
"Yeah. I've grown, matured and, recently, came into millions!" Chaz says and shifts eyes, "But, y'know, mostly the 'mature' thing."
Randall questions with a frown, "Ohh okay, okay. So the 'friendless horse-fucker' over here gets a little moolah and suddenly, it's worth wasting our time over?"
"Well, I'm the whole 'package' if you know what I mean," Chaz says, leaving I.M.P speechless, "I got a big dick."
Annoyed, Millie asks, "But what does any of this hafta do with Moxxie?"
Crimson sets down utensils, "There's gonna be a ceremony tomorrow. Moxxie here is going to officially release his holdings in the organization. Then you can get back to," and adds bitterly, "Ignoring your family to your heart's content."
Millie stands up in anger, "Maybe he wouldn't "ignore his family" if they didn't force him to rub elbows with a no-good, shark-toothed FUCK FACE!"
Chaz grins at Millie, but she points a knife at his neck, threateningly.
But Crimson says, "Ey, look, everybody relax. I know tensions have been high tonight. Say, why don't you stay here and get some rest. We'll have the ceremony tomorrow and then you will be free to leave. I have your rooms all prepared."
Millie is about to object, but Moxxie says, "Yes sir."
"Mox?" Millie replies, confused.
Even Blitz is concerned, "Moxxie?"
The I.M.P group and Chaz begin to take their leave.
But Crimson says, "A moment, Moxxie."
Moxxie turns to Millie, "Just give me a minute, Millie. I'll be there."
Millie looks worried as Moxxie steps back inside the dining room. Chaz tries to lean into Millie, but jumps back when Millie growls and tries to bite him before Blitz calms her down. One of the shark demons closes the door, leaving Moxxie and Crimson alone.
Soon, Crimson questions in a bitter tone, "So you think you're too good for this family now?"
"What?" Moxxie questions.
"C'mere," Crimson sternly says.
Moxxie approaches Crimson, "I-I don't understand."
Crimson then stands up and backhands Moxxie in the face, knocking him down.
Crimson says in anger, "You think you'll just walk away from this family and never come back? You're dead wrong, Mox!" Then he grabs Moxxie, "As a matter of fact, the only thing you're right about is that obnoxious piss-stain can't get made. Not unless he marries in!"
"'Marries...?' But, but who would marry—?" Moxxie asks.
"Who do you think?" Crimson says as he lets go of Moxxie and sits back down, "This family needs that money and it's about time your pathetic ass was useful for something!"
"Sir, I'm already married. I-I can't-" Moxxie tries to explain.
But Crimson isn't hearing it, "You think I give a shit about your stupid beard? C'mon Mox, I even went through the trouble of makin' the house more to your kind's liking."
He then presses a button on the table bouncing dildos appear from the dining chairs, the walls, vases, and even behind a potted plant in the corner. A party ball hanging from the ceiling opens, pouring out confetti, revealing a banner that says 'CONGRATULATIONS GAY' and a trumpet fanfare.
Moxxie is completely dumbfounded and irritated, "Wait...What...? What do you think I'm into?"
"What? This is the kind of shit gays like, right?" Crimson questions.
Then Moxxie points out, "First of all, dad, I'm bisexual."
"Yeah. Gay," Crimson says.
"Oh, for fuck sake! Secondly..." Moxxie says, frustrated as he holds his hand out to block a dildo from hitting his face, "I don't know a single person of any sexuality who would enjoy this." And swats it away in anger.
And then suddenly he hears Randall laughing and says, "HAAA! There're dicks on the walls!" Moxxie frowns to hear it, "Oh, that is fuckin' hilarious!"
Chaz chuckles, "Now that's my kind of decoration."
To Moxxie, 'Of course Chaz and Randall would enjoy this'
It makes Moxxie question what he actually sees in Chaz to make himself go out with him.
Crimson then grabs Moxxie by the face, "Look at me, kid. One way or another, you're going to do what I fucking say. Don't cross me."
Moxxie soon begins to reflect on his childhood.
Flashback:
A child Moxxie was struggling to cut his steak at the dinner table. His mother gently takes the plate and cuts the steak for him. She smiles sweetly at Moxxie and he smiles back at her. Crimson glares at Moxxie. Moxxie takes the plate and begins eating his dinner. Crimson tries to rub his leg against his wife's. She quickly pulls her leg away from Crimson. Crimson stomps his leg in frustration.
Another memory shows Moxxie shooting three bullseyes in the shooting range. His mother ruffles his head proudly. Suddenly a goon grabs Moxxie and rushes him away from his mother and toward another shooting range. Two goons prep a live target as Crimson hands Moxxie a gun and points to it. Moxxie slowly takes aim but his mother takes the gun out of his hands and pushes it into Crimson's hands before grabbing her son and walking away. Crimson glares at the disrespect.
Moxxie now hides underneath the bed as his parents argue. A slap is heard and his mother walks out of the room. Later, only Crimson and Moxxie are at the dinner table. Moxxie struggles to cut his steak and then looks at his father. Crimson glares at Moxxie, who then goes back to trying to cut his food. Crimson takes a drag from his cigar and blows the smoke in Moxxie's face.
Later on, Crimson and Moxxie take a boat ride on the lake with a passenger. Crimson places a cinder block that the passenger's tail is tied to on the side of the boat over the edge and gestures for Moxxie to push it. Moxxie looks at the cinderblock, then the pleading passenger, and backs away only for Crimson to push him back into the cinderblock. Teary-eyed, Moxxie takes one last look at the passenger while pushing the cinderblock overboard, sending the victim into the lake with it. Moxxie watches as the air bubbles fade. Crimson preps another body over the side of the boat.
Crimson: [flashback] Let this be a lesson, Moxxie.
Crimson gestures to the lake, filled with hats, bags, shoes, and light articles that belonged to previous victims thrown into the water.
Crimson: [flashback] This is what happens when you cross me.
A high heel that resembles the ones Moxxie's mother wore floats to the surface.
Flashback Ends:
"Now get to bed Moxxie. You have a big day tomorrow," Crimson says, and lets Moxxie go.
Fearfully, Moxxie says, "Yes, sir."
"Oh, and Mox, you ever talk back to me again," Crimson says as Moxxie walks back up to the door, "You and that pretty little thang you brought here are goin' home in boxes. Capeesh?"
"Yes, sir," Moxxie reluctantly replies, and quickly finds the knob, and steps out, leaving Crimson alone in the dining room.
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