Chapter 26: C.H.E.R.U.B VS I.M.P
Soon, the Cherubs are able to drag Blitz and Lyle away and are rolling them somewhere.
"Uh where are we going?" Blitz asks.
"We're going to show you how we do our job. If we can show you how good we do at our job of bringing happiness around the world, maybe that can convince you," Keenie says.
"If you say so," Blitz says, feeling unsure.
Soon, the Cherubs take Blitz and Lyle to the outskirts of the hill, looking over a large forest and a lake.
Cletus happily says, "Look around, Lyle. God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age... or wealth!"
"If you were to end your life, you'd be missing all of this!" Collin adds.
Suddenly, Randall appears wearing a lizard costume, "Mhm, you're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?" and does a suggestive gesture with his fingers, indicating sex.
Keenie covers her mouth and gasps, "That is so inappropriate!"
Collin blinks in a state of disbelief and Cletus gives a disappointed look. Then Millie and Moxxie appear in cat costumes.
Millie then shows Keenie two middle fingers and says, "Oh, kiss our ass, prude!"
"Uh why are you guys dressed as cats?" Blitz asks, confused.
Moxxie sighs, "It's one of Randall's crazy ideas."
"Well duh," Randall says, with a grin on his face.
He shoves Lyle aside and says, "Anyway, take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close."
Lyle looks at the binoculars to see for himself. He sees a group of bunnies and squirrels together, and is suddenly eaten alive by a pack of wolves.
"Oh no!" Lyle says, shocked.
Collin then tries to take the binoculars, "S-stop looking!"
But Lyle continues to hold on to the binoculars, "I can't stop! I've never wanted to die more than I do now!"
Lyle continues to watch. A bear swipes a wolf to the ground and raises its paw to attack. Then the bear is crushed by a fallen tree, by a muscular logger with a chainsaw. Then a beehive lands on the man's head and begins to scream and panic. Soon, his arms are chopped off by the chainsaw and his body skewered by a charging stag. Everyone freezes in horror while Randall fakes it and grins smugly.
"Yeah. I guess it shows that nature has its ups and downs," Blitz says.
"Come on Blitz, is that all you gotta say?" Randall questions.
"Well, it's true," Blitz says, shrugging his shoulders.
Cletus nervously says, "Let's go check out someplace else!"
Millie and Moxxie do a fist bump in their cat costumes.
The next stop is a shopping mall. And Lyle's bed is pushed through the wall and makes a hole in the wall.
"Oh, Lord. Where are we now? Let me perish!" Lyle says, practically begging.
"We're here to show you another thing life is worth living for: Childhood wonderment!" Keenie says, motion towards the crowd of children.
They are happily cheering for Santa Claus who is sitting on a chair as a kid is sitting on his lap.
"Why, look at those sweet diseased-ridden vermin. Their joy comes from innocence, unspoiled by the burdens of adulthood, and their middle-class existence. Such simple joy they have. It is inspiring. Thank you for showing me this," Lyle says.
Suddenly, Randall's voice shouts, "Hey, dipshit!"
The group turns to see Randall dressed as Santa, Millie is dressed like an Elf, and Moxxie ends up with a reindeer costume and is not too pleased.
"Wanna see whose lap you're sittin' on?!" Randall adds
He then rips off the red robe. 'Santa' is revealed as an ugly gnome wearing a '#Cuties' shirt, and then the gnome makes a gnome noise. The kids scream and run. Lyle sobs like a baby as Collin and Keenie cover his eyes. A concerned Cletus pushes the bed away.
A boy actually shouts, "Santa's evil!"
Trying Plan C: The Cherubs bring Lyle to the woods next to a wooden sign that reads, 'Lover's Lookout.'
"Eh! This place reeks of teenagers!" Lyle says, disgusted.
Cletus happily flies to Lyle and says, "Lovers' Lookout, sir! We're here to remind you about possibly life's greatest joy of all-"
"Money!" Lyle cuts in.
But Collin says, "No! Love."
"I've never been in love before. I imagine it's quite nice," Lyle says.
"Well, I can relate to that. Love is actually a nice thing," Blitz says, blushing a bit.
Keenie gasps with glee, "Really? Does that mean you have a special someone?"
"Well, he's not really my boyfriend, but I actually kind of have feelings for him," Blitz says.
"He huh? Didn't know that you're gay, but love can take all forms," Cletus says.
"That's true. To me, as long as you have feelings for someone, it doesn't matter what gender or race they are," Blitz says.
"I can tell that you must really like this guy," Keenie says. She then asks, "Is he human or a demon?"
"He's a demon. I actually met him sometime ago," Blitz says.
"I can tell that you must like him, so what's his name?" Cletus asks.
Blitz giggles and is a little embarrassed.
Then Collin says to Lyle, "Still, it's not too late, sir! You can still find-"
But is cut off when Randall and the Imp couple are wearing dresses, makeup, and wigs.
"Ha! Nice try, ugly," Randall says.
Blitz covers his mouth and tries his best not to laugh.
Then Randall pulls out a megaphone, "Hey, horny lovers! Which one of you would fuck this old man?!"
In the matter of seconds, the cars speed away in response, leaving Lyle dejected.
Then Collin gets into Ranall's face, "You know, you three are so utterly c-c-cruel. We're just trying to give hope to someone in need!"
"Oh, and you three are so superior to us just because we want some selfish, greedy, authoritarian capitalist to keel over DEAD!" Moxxie says.
"Don't you think that's a little harsh Moxxie?" Blitz asks.
"Maybe, but it's true," Moxxie says.
"Yeah, but you're making it way too real," Randall says.
Then turns to Blitz, "Besides, Blitz doesn't need to worry about the romance department because he already has a man in his life."
"I uh, I don't know about that," Blitz says, embarrassed.
"Well, it's never too late to tell him how you feel, or to start a relationship," Collin says.
"Hmm," Blitz says and begins to think about it.
The next plan that the Cherubs have, they've taken him to an auditorium where a Viking woman is singing opera with a fake unicorn and a well dressed pianist playing the piano. The Cherubs are well-dressed. They even have Blitz dressed up, but Lyle is simply wearing a tie.
"Behold, the wonder of art and music! Something always here to comfort, entertain, and live for!" Cletus says.
Up above the stage on the catwalk, Randall, Moxxie, and Millie are watching from the catwalk above the stage.
"So, how do we make this bad?" Millie asks.
"We can't. There's literally nothing bad about opera, and that's a fact," Moxxie says.
"Unless, we ruin it somehow," Randall says with a mischievous grin.
He then grabs one of the spotlights and moves it away from the singer. The singer pauses and follows the light to continue singing. However, Randall continues to move the light around to ruin the show.
"She's not very good," Lyle says.
"Hmm, I wonder," Blitz says, and looks up to see Randall, Moxxie and Millie on the catwalk.
Randall continues moving the light faster and faster as Lyle and the Cherubs narrow their eyes in suspicion. But suddenly, the spotlight suddenly slips from Randall's hands and he accidently lets go of the stagelight. The stagelight falls and begins to fall towards the singer as she performs the final note. And soon, the light crushes her and dies instantly. The audience, Lyle, and the cherubs scream, while the pianist nervously tries to keep playing the piano.
"Oh, at least we made it bad," Randall says.
Suddenly, the Three Cherubs fly to the group and are furious.
Cletus is the first to shout at them, "THAT'S IT! I HAVE HAD IT! You three monsters have messed with us enough!"
"D'ooh... we're just trying to do our j-j-job!" Collin says.
"Well, so are we!" Moxxie says.
Cletus angrily shouts, "EEEENOUGH!"
Just then, the Cherubs then summon golden crossbows and aim them at the I.M.P.
"We are saving that shitty old man's life and getting that Imp on our side whether they want it or not!" Cletus says.
Hearing Blitz being involved made the I.M.P employees displeased.
"Well, what if he doesn't want to go with you!" Millie angrily says.
"Yeah. You can't force him to go with you!" Moxxie adds.
Randall then says, "Yeah! Besides, I.M.P already has this guy under our employment even if he doesn't kill like the rest of us. Besides, someone wants that old fucker dead, okay? So he's gotta go."
Then Keenie leans Randall, "You all are such disgusting, loathsome beasts! Your kind is nothing but dirt that shitty dead people tread on! And now, you're trying to meddle with the lives of HUMANS?!"
Millie then pushes Randall out of the way and angrily says, "So are you! So why don't you shut your trap, you judgmental ..."
She pulls her necklace and snaps it back, "cotton candy, tit-havin' BITCH?!"
This causes Keenie to snap, "...FILTHY DEMON CRAP!" And tackles Millie to the ground.
Soon, opera music begins to play as the fight between the I.M.P and C.H.E.R.U.B begins.
Cletus and Collin shoot golden arrows at Randall, and Moxxie, and the three run across the catwalk. As Randall and Moxxie bring out their weapons. As Millie and Keenie fight, they fall off the catwalk.
Seeing Millie falling, Moxxie runs down the catwalk and jumps down, swinging from a rope. Swinging on the rope, Moxxie holds a pistol in one hand and aims it at Keenie, who fights with Millie in the air. Millie slaps Keenie in the face several times. Moxxie fires at a rope which releases a bag. The bag separates Keenie and Millie, and Moxxie catches Millie. Moxxie and Millie grab each other's faces with lustful grins. They French-kiss and make out as they swing and spin rapidly above the stage and fire from their weapons. Randall's spots Moxxie's bow-tie and Millie's bra fall from above.
As Moxxie and Millie spin on the rope, arrows and bullets hit and kill the audience members in the first two rows, but they all miss Lyle and Blitz. Blitz doesn't really know what to do about this.
Blitz sighs and says, "This is getting nowhere."
Blitz turns to see Lyle and says, "I'm uh, sorry about the trouble my friends and the Charubs are causing."
"Oh, there's no need young lad. Is it alright if I go outside? There is someone I like to go to," Lyle says.
"Um sure," Blitz says.
Blitz does what Lyle asks and pushes the bed outside of the opera house and where Lyle wants to go while the battle is going on.
Meanwhile, Randall runs along the metal scaffolding and jumps to one that is being held by a rope. Randall turns to see Cletus. The two then point their weapons at each other. Randall tries to fire the gun, but he's all out of bullets. He then throws the rifle at Cletus, blinding him.
"Ah! You fuckers!" Cletus shouts in blind fires his arrow.
That causes the scaffolding to fall to the ground with Randall Moxxie and Millie on it. Soon, the three crash onto the stage. Then bedding aboard holding the piano, and narrowly missing the pianist. The pianist stops playing, puts down his stool, and uses it to step down from the bent floorboard. The piano is then sent flying through the air. Everyone stares as the piano flies in the air and begins to fall and crashes in front of the stage. At the crash site, Randall is laying on the broken scaffolding. Moxxie and Millie are basically tied together.
Cletus angrily says, "Now look at what you did!"
"What have we done?! If you fuckin' chicken wings haven't try to get away in front of work," Randall angrily says.
However, Moxxie asks, "Uh Randall, where is Blitz?"
The I.M.P and the C.H.E.R.U.B look to notice Blitz is gone, but he's not the only one.
"Blitz is gone," Millie says.
"Mr. Lyle isn't here either," Collin says.
"Where did they go?" Keenie asks.
Sometime later, and thanks for some assistance from Loona since she has Stolas' grimoire. They arrive at Lyle Loopty's Robotics, more specifically Lyles old office.
"Why do you want to come here?" Blitz asks.
"Oh, I just thought I checked out the old place before. Never know when I'm going to have the chance to see this place again," Lyle says.
"Lyle, why do you want to die? If you don't mind me asking," Blitz asks.
"Well, I guess because since I'm very old and my body is unable to do anything. I thought there isn't much point in living anymore," Lyle says.
Then turns to Blitz, "I suspect sometimes hardships can sometimes take its toll on some more than others, even you, Blitzo."
"You know me?" Blitz asks.
"Of course I do my boy. Although, my memories are not as good since the machine incident, but I heard of you all the same," Lyle says.
"Um yeah. And you're right. I remember dealing with the hardship after that incident a few years ago, including my family's death, and years later, my mother died," Blitz says, sadly.
"Yes., but it also seems that you're still able to live your life to the fullest," Lyle says.
"I did, huh. I guess it's because I know that you can only live once, and sometimes you have to live your own life to the fullest," Blitz says.
He then looks at his mother's bracelet on his wrist, "My mom told me something before she died."
Flashback:
On the day when Lucy passed, Blitz was sitting right by her side and had his hand towards his mother. Lucy then gently lifts her hands up, and removes her pearl cuff bracelet. She then reaches to Blitz's wrist and places it around his wrist.
Lucy then gives Blitz her gentle kind smile and says, "Always remember to live your life to the fullest. You can continue to live in the circus with our family and friends, but there's a time when you might want to leave and spread your wings to live your life the way you want. Maybe even find those who resemble you. I wish for you to live the life that you want. I wish for you to smile, no matter where life will take you. No matter where you go, I'll be watching over you through it all."
Flashback Ends:
"And I decided to live by her words. It was heartbreaking when my family died, especially my mother. But everytime I look at her bracelet, I remember the last thing she told me before she died. It helps me remember that not everything can last forever and that you have to live your life to the fullest. And sometimes you have to take the chance to live your life the best you can," Blitz says.
Blitz takes out his phone and looks at the photo of his friends from I.M.P. "And I like to continue to live that life with my friends."
Remembering the show of the Cherubs and Demons fight and hearing Blitz's words, Lyle says, "It's all starting to make sense now. Life is worth living because we only get one. We must cherish it. If creatures far beyond this living world are going through these lengths over my life, then certainly it's worth living. Killing myself is not the answer. Plus, I'm still rich! I can just buy all the things! I NO LONGER CRAVE DEATH!" As he gets up in excitement.
Suddenly, Lyle begins coughing and begins to lie down.
"Are you okay?" Blitz asks.
"Doing fine my boy. I may not be able to live in this world any longer, but it's nice to know that there are those who showed me that life is worth living, and have to live to the very end," Lyle says. Then turns to Blitz, "You and your friends showed me that."
"Um, you're welcome," Blitz says.
Then Blitz asks, "Mind if I use a paper, pencil, and do you have an envelope."
"Of course, it's on my desk," Lyle says.
"Thanks," Blitz says.
Blitz then looks in Lyle's desk and brings out a paper, pencil. Soon, Blitz begins writing a letter as he begins humming a tune. Lyle feels relaxed hearing Blitz humming as he writes. It's taken Blitz a little time and he writes it pretty quickly. Once he's done, he places the letter in the envelope and seals it.
"That is a nice song you're humming," Lyle says.
"Um thanks," Blitz says.
"And what is that song?" Lyle asks.
"To be honest. I'm not sure. It's kind of odd, but I keep remembering this melody ever since I can remember. Over time, I'm starting to remember the lyrics little by little. I feel that there's more, but I only remember a little bit of it," Blitz says.
Soon, Lyle coughs again and is feeling weaker.
Lyle says, "It appears that I don't have much time left, but I'm glad to know that I was able to live my life as best as I could."
Then turns to Blitz, "If you don't mind, can I listen to the lyrics you're referring too."
"Okay," Blitz says.
Blitz then calms himself and begins to sing.
Blitz:
Far away,
Long ago,
Glowing dim as an ember,
Things my heart
Used to know
Once upon a December
"And that's it," Blitz says, and turns to Lyle, "What do you think, Lyle?"
However, Lyle doesn't say a word.
"Uh, Lyle?" Blitz says, confused.
Blitz notices that Lyle is lying in the bed, and he isn't moving. Blitz then gently touches Lyle's wrist, and doesn't feel a pulse. He then places his hand over his mouth, and no air is coming out, and sees his body isn't moving. Blitz saddens as he knows that Lyle Lipton has passed on.
Suddenly, they hear a knock on the door and Keenie's voice, "Uh, can we come in?"
"Oh, sure," Blitz says, even though he recognizes the voices.
The door opens and the three Cherubs open.
"Hello, uh, we couldn't help but overhear your conversation, and well uh, we're uh, sorry about what happened back there," Collin says, sheepishly.
"Oh, it's okay," Blitz says.
Cletus asks, "So uh, Blitz, is Kyle really?"
"I'm sad to say that he has passed on, but he's still able to live his life to the fullest," Blitz says.
"That's nice to hear and we heard what you said and uh, well, just to ask, you really want to stay with the uh, demons?" Cletus asks.
"Yes. I do. I know I'm kind of a fish out of water, but they're still my friends, and they care about me and I care for them. I do love to see my family, but I gotta live the life the way I wanted. So I'm going to have to decline on your offer," Blitz says.
"That's alright, we understand. I'm just sorry for all the trouble that happened," Cletus says.
Keenie smiles and says, "And Lucy is right. You really are a nice person, uh, demon. You know what I mean."
"Thanks, just doing what my parents taught me," Blitz says.
"And speaking of which," Blitz says and presents the envelope, "I don't know if it's possible, but can you deliver this to my family. If it's not too much to ask."
"We don't mind at all. We'll deliver it right away," Keenie says and takes the letter.
"We'll have to get going. We still have work to do," Cletus says.
Then Keenie opens the portal to Heaven.
"Goodbye Blitz. Hope you have a good life. Even if it's Hell," Keeenie says.
"And stay safe," Collin says.
"Good luck," Cletus says.
Then the three angels fly up into Heaven and the portal closes soon after.
Sometime later, after Randall, Moxxie, and Millie locate Blitz, they return to the I.M.P office. Of course, they have to explain to Sarge and the others about the involvement and brawl with the Cherubs.
"I can't believe you ended up meeting Cherubs in the living world," Berry says, surprised.
"I can't believe you got into a fight with them," Razor says.
"Well, blame those little shrimps. They want to try getting Blitz into Heaven and save our target from death," Randall says.
Moxxie then turns to Blitz, "Of course, it's a surprise when Blitz told us he convinced the Cherubs that he wants to stay with us, but Lyle passed away before we got there."
"Yeah. Killing the fun out of it," Randall says.
Berry turns to Blitz, "Still, it must have been hard for you. You could have been reunited with your family and you could have been happy in Heaven.
"I know. It was hard, but this is the life I decided for myself, and I know my family would understand," Blitz says.
"Still, I can't believe that Lyle died before we could. He's probably up in Heaven by now," Randall says.
However, Blitz says, "Uh somehow I doubt he's going to get anywhere near Heaven."
"What does that mean?" Randall asks.
"Remember when I said about the rumors about Loopty and Lyle technological advances involving illegal experiments on poor people. Loopty even confessed that they did. Plus, Moxxie points out that he's a selfish, greedy, authoritarian capitalist. And he does show that he is one the way he talks about money and such," Blitz says.
"In other words, those are sins that are good enough to get him into Hell. And the moment he died, Lyle would be walking around Pentagram City somewhere," Sarge says.
"So Lyle could really be in Hell," Moxxie says, realizing it himself.
"Yeah. I wonder how Lyle's doing," Blitz says.
Just then, a metal escalator crashes through the office wall onto the floor of the meeting room. Descending from the escalator is Loopty Goopty.
He calls out, "Saaaaaarrrrge!"
"Hello Loopty, I do appreciate it that you stop wrecking the office and use the door," Sarge sternly says.
Just then, another escalator crashes through the wall and lands in the meeting room.
Coming down is a robotic appearance with a round, spherical body with his head on top and arms on his sides. He wears a light green vest with a dark outline on top and one button on the front, a dark bowler hat with a red stripe, and a pair of light green gloves on his hands. He has mint-green skin with a red triangular patch on his chin, a large bushy light gray mustache, and a pair of red pince-nez goggles with dark red spirals on the lens. With his lower half being a ball and lacking legs, he gets around simply by rolling. His teeth resemble that of piano keys.
Seeing who it is, Randall, Millie, and Moxxie say surprise, "Lyle Lipton?!"
"I guess Blitz is right. You didn't go to Heaven at all," Razor replies.
Lyle scoffs and says, "Heaven?! You don't make millions in technological advances in robotics by NOT experimenting on the poor!" and laughs.
Loopty is pleased to hear it, "Oh, you no good heartless son of a bitch!"
Then turns to Sarge and the others, "Thank you for reuniting me with my best friend!"
"Well, I guess things work out for both of you," Blitz says.
Then asks, "But what could you both do now?"
"That is a good question, Blitz," Lyle says, "What do two old genius robotic inventors do, now that we're in Hell?"
Suddenly, Wally Wackford crashes through the ceiling, making another hole.
Then announces, "Did someone say, I say, inventors?! Name's Wally Wackford, and I am lookin' for creative new people to exploit!"
Then quickly corrects himself, "I mean employ." and twirls his mustache.
Sarge places his hand on his face and groans, "Seriously."
"This is going to take a while for us to fix," Razor says, and grants with frustration.
Randall rolls his eyes and says, "Satan's balls! First we deal with Heaven's table-scraps, now this?"
"I guess, you can say, you say, you have a holey operation here, Mr. Sarge!" Wally jokes, and nudges his elbow at Razor, "Ain't that right, Razor."
He then slaps his knee and starts laughing. Then doubles down on the floor.
"Okay, that is a really bad pun," Drew says.
"Really bad," Berry adds.
Wally continues to laugh and says, "Oh hoh hoh! I said 'Oh!'"
Sarge grits his teeth and tries to remain calm, "As funny as it is, however, at the moment I'm not laughing. Now then, I appreciate it if you all..." then shouts in rage, "GET THE FUCK OUT!"
That catches everyone shocked and surprised.
Sarge takes a deep breath and calmly says, "Moxxie, Millie, Randall, and Blitz, you may have the rest of the day off after what has happened. The rest of us will have to work on this mess."
Then glare at the Wally and the two sinners, "And you three are going to pay for damages."
"Uh sure," Randall says.
Moxxie and Millie help Blitz up.
"Come on Blitz, let's get you to a doctor and then we can go home," Millie says.
"Okay," Blitz says.
Soon, everyone begins to leave the office.
"And Blitz," Moxxie says.
"Yeah?" Blitz asks.
Moxxie smiles and says, "I'm glad you decided to stay with us."
"Yeah. I'm glad too," Millie says.
Blitz smiles and says, "Me too."
Then look up to see Hell's sky.
Meanwhile, in Heaven, the three Cherubs sit and watch as someone reads Blitz leader. That someone is Blitz's adopted mother Lucy, who shows a gentle and kind smile.
Blitz letter ready, "Dear, Mom, Dad, Malcolm, and Maria,
How are you all doing in Heaven? I know it's been so long since you passed and a lot has happened. Months ago, I mean beings who look exactly like me. Turns out, I'm actually an Imp, a demon from Hell. I met new friends, Millie and Moxxie who are Imps like me. Berry and Drew who is a Succubus and an Incubus, Randall who is a Chameleon demon, Razor a Hellcat. Sarge, another Imp and is actually my boss, and his adopted Hellhound daughter, Loona. It sounds crazy, but they're actually assassins running a company dealing with killing bad humans. Don't worry, I'm not involved in all this, just being part of accounting and small work in the office. Still, demons or not, they army friends and have been living with them to learn about my kind and where I came from. I've been learning a lot about Hell and how I need to do what I take to defend myself, but I'm doing my best to live my life to the fullest. I also met Stolas, who is one of the princes of Hell, and his daughter Octavia. It's a long story on how things happen, but I ended up feeling for him. It's kind of embarrassing to get into details.
Anyway, I hope you're all doing okay in Heaven and hope to hear a reply from you. If it's possible. I love you and miss you with all my heart.
From,
Blitzo."
Lucy sadly smiles and says, "Oh my darling Blitzo. I miss you too."
Once Upon A December: Anastasia
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