Once we were all finished with our shopping and in the carriage once more, the sky had grown dark. Beth was humming Christmas carols happily.

"Like always, you've brought the most," Clo said, looking at the paper bags and boxes she carried. I was surprised because Beth had more than three bags, so she probably brought items for herself too.

"Yes, I couldn't help it," Beth said in a sing-song voice, "a department store is my favorite place ever! And today is the best day ever!" She latched on to hug my arm.

I chuckled. "Be careful of the bags on your lap!"

"Yessir!"

"Even Shuyan seems happier," Clo said, smiling a bit. "I'm glad."

"You act like a mum," Rhiannon whispered. Clo rolled her eyes.

"Fine by me. Surprisingly today I didn't get too much stares. How about you, Shuyan?"

"Huh?" I thought about it. Today, maybe because of Tobias, I wasn't really jeered at. But I couldn't possibly tell them that. "It was fine for me, too."

"I saw Augustin and Valentin everywhere," Beth said, "so we shopped together in the end. You wouldn't believe it, the twins are like opposites. Every gift they chose out for their brothers they had the exact opposite taste. Like for this cigarette case for Silas, Augustin liked a plain silver one while Valentin liked a black ornamental one."

"Hmm," Rhiannon remarked, looking uninterested.

"Did anything catch your eye for next year?" I asked Rhiannon.

"You're thinking way ahead of time. We might not even be here next year," she said, always the cynic.

"Don't say such sad things," I said. Beth and Clo nodded.

"I'm so happy right now," Beth said softly, relaxing in her seat. "I've never been this happy in my whole life. I wish we can stay like this forever."

"You're being dramatic," Clo laughed. There was silence in the carriage, and then she laughed nervously. "Um, Beth?"

Beth was sobbing.

"Beth?" I turned towards her. "What's wrong?"

She only shook her head meekly. "No, no, it's nothing. I just—for a moment I was just overwhelmed."

"I'm happy too." Rhiannon was smiling. With the street lamps outside the carriage lighting her face, she looked saintly and magical, like a fairy-queen. Her hair even looked silver. 

"Aren't we all the same?" she continued. "We've all been alone, or lonely—but now we have each other."

We rode in the carriage thinking about what she said.

That was true: why did I ever think I was alone?

Eugene and I might not ever be anything more than master and servant, but I will always have my friends. Wasn't that enough?

I smiled, and hugged Beth tightly.

***

Around another week had passed, and our front hall was decorated and looking festive when one night, after dinner, Matheus came to join Rudy and I.

"Oh, Matthew," Rudy said. "Want a cookie?"

"No thanks," Matheus said. "I'm here to talk about Master Eugene."

"Master Eugene?" we both shouted, then lowered our voice. Thankfully no one was around the dinning table, as the card playing bunch moved and had gotten themselves a small table in a different room.

"Yes." Matheus sighed, as though he had a heavy burden. "I need your help, Shuyan. Recently, Master Eugene hasn't been in a good mood, and he's hurting himself."

"What? He's hurting himself?" I almost knocked over the tea in my haste.

"Calm down," Rudy said. I gulped and sat back into my seat.

"The thing is, Eugene has been using leg braces."

"Leg braces?" I frowned. "And what of it?"

"He's been trying so hard to dance that the braces dig into his skin and flesh, and he bleeds. Yet no matter how much I persuade him to stop, he won't. He says he promised to dance with you, and he won't let you down."

I suddenly remember. Then the feelings all hit me at once.

How could I not see?

I thought he was learning how to walk so he could move on without me. I thought he was learning how to dance so he could dance with everyone. I had forgotten the promise we made, and not given any thought to what he cared about so much.

I was the one in the wrong.

"Shuyan?" Rudy suddenly asked, looking worried. "You're crying."

I touched my cheeks. I was.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why—"

"Master Eugene is there right now," Matheus said. "The room with his pets. He always is when he's lonely." His eyes looked at mine. I understood.

I stood up and wiped my eyes. "Sorry. I think I have somewhere I have to go."

"Goodnight then," Matheus said with a smile. Rudy nodded. I raced up the stairs.

I was so focused on my own suffering that I hurt Eugene too. I was the worst servant ever. I couldn't be his equal, much less protect him.

I was a hypocrite.

When I reached his door, I inhaled before knocking.

"Who is it?"

The voice that responded was weak and low, almost like it had given up. I missed his enthusiastic greeting.

"It's me, Shuyan." There was silence. "Can I enter?" There was still no response. My palms began to sweat. I looked down at my boots.

"I'm sorry, Master Eugene." There was no still reply. My heart sank. "I'm so sorry for what I said that day. I disregarded your feelings and everything, but please don't stop talking to me—"

The door flew open.

I turned my head to look at him in surprise, and only ended up gaping at him.

He was smiling, although a bit awkwardly. He was dressed in his nightwear again, a long white shirt with a shawl around his shoulders. In the crook of one arm was a familiar black and white rabbit.

Snow-White.

"Shuyan," he said. "I'm sorry I took some time getting to the door. I couldn't use my cane and hold Snow-White at the same time."

"Oh—oh." I was stammering from seeing him so suddenly. I had thought he was ignoring me, and prepared a speech. Having come face to face with him was unexpected.

"Come inside."

I looked down the hall, made sure it was empty, and then went inside and closed the door after me.

"Master Eugene, I want to apologize for what I said the other day."

His back was facing me as he spoke.

"Don't. I'm the one to apologize. I had no right to grab you and demand you to tell me what happened. You were a victim, and yet I—"

"No, I understood you cared about me!" I cut in. "And I was glad. I was really, really, grateful that you asked about it. It made me happy."

"But I scared you."

"You did not." He didn't reply. I walked to him until I reached his back. I took a moment to collect myself before speaking again. "Even if you did, I forgive you. So please face me, Master Eugene."

He turned around, swaying a bit, but he was able to stand perfectly fine. His eyes met mine, and I realized how long it had been since we last looked at each other, face to face, like this.

"The truth is, I was jealous when you said you were going to practice walking again. I was sure once you could, we could no longer talk like this." The truth slipped out without me even deciding to say it. Even I was dumbfounded at what left my lips. I peeked up at him. He looked just as surprised. "I'm sorry, that probably doesn't make sense."

"No, it doesn't," he admitted. "What do you mean we can't talk like this?" He tilted his head to one side innocently, and I was unsure how to answer.

"It's just something people told me. A friend of mine once said we can't ever really be friends. And Mister Silas—that night I went to his room he said you will be too busy for me one day. I heard you talk to all the servants, and I just realized recently, I—" I stopped. What was I going to say? "I just realized you spoke to me because you were a kind person."

Not because I was special to you.

"Aren't you the same?" he asked. I looked at him.

"Huh?"

"Sometimes I feel the same way." He scratched at Snow-White's head. "You're here because of your job, and you're only nice to me because of your job. When Tobias or Silas call for you to go to them or talk to them, you do too."

"That's different!" I exclaimed loudly, then drew back in embarrassment. "Of course it's different. Tobias and I talk about you, or about matters relating to the inheritance. As for Silas, it was only that one time. I didn't want to go to his room too, but he was so scary."

Eugene chuckled.

"He really was!" I insisted, upset at his laughing. "He was able to see through me easily and know I was working for you. He knew that Tobias didn't rely on anyone, and even asked strange questions."

I thought about the question he asked. If I liked Eugene, and if I wanted to become his wife. Just the thought of it made me feel embarrassed.

"I believe you," he assured me. "Silas was always known to have a temper, no, more like a dark side skillfully hidden." He looked at me, then away again. "Truth is, I have something to admit to too."

"What is it?"

He peeked up at me, as though making sure I was serious, then said, "It made me jealous to hear that Tobias protected you. Not to mention twice."

"Oh." I grew flustered. He watched me carefully. "I didn't mean to hurt you by saying he was more capable, Master Eugene. I'm sorry."

"No, it's not that." He was quiet. "I've never never seen Tobias so taken to someone, that it makes me feel almost silly, like competing for a friend's attention." He laughed to himself. I laughed too.

"I'm sure Tobias would do anything you command of him, though. He loves you the most, and would sacrifice anything for you."

"You think?" Eugene looked more at ease. "Anyways, why don't we sit down?"

"Oh, yes, of course!" I had almost forgotten about his legs. "Do your legs hurt?"

"Not at all," he said, beaming. "I can almost dance now. A whole evening might be hard, but I'll keep practicing until Christmas."

"About that, I have a favor to ask you."

"What is it?" he asked, still smiling, looking like a child looking forward to something. I hated myself for saying it, but I knew I had to.

"I know I promised you, but can we not dance?"

His hand stopped, and hovered over Snow-White.

"I don't understand."

"I know about how hard you've been forcing yourself to walk," I said. "About the leg braces and bleeding. I don't want to dance if it means you're hurting yourself."

"No, I'm perfectly fine, Shuyan," he insisted.

"Master Eugene. Please don't lie to me." He stiffened. "I want to equals with you. Equals don't lie to each other."

Eugene's shoulders seemed to sag, and then he looked down at the rabbit in his arms.

"Shuyan." I turned to him.

"Yes?"

"If we don't dance, can I ask you for a request?"

"What is it?"

"Can I talk to you more like this?" I frowned. He hurried to explain.

"I probably will not have breakfast in bed anymore, but I still want to talk to you. The last few weeks were lonely. So I was thinking maybe you can talk care of the animals, maybe the rabbits if you don't like lizards and fish. And maybe, if you want, sometimes after dinner and at night, like this, we can talk?"

I laughed.

"What's wrong?" I shook my head. I had never seen Eugene so flustered before. I was sure he was going to say something serious—or even bad. But what he said made me happy.

"I would love to."

His face immediately relaxed. Then he stood up, trembling a bit, and hugged me, one arm draped over me. My face was pressed to his shoulder, and I could smell his smell on his shawl.

Snow-White was between us, giving us some space, but he was still extremely close.

Then he let go.

"Then it's a promise." His smile was so innocent and happy I couldn't say anything. All I did at look at my lap and nod.

"Yes. It's a promise."