"Okay." Adam and Jacob sat across from Steven, both leaning against each other as he eyed the packet. "So the Advanced Apology Packet is based on a bad habit that I absolutely loathe with all of my being."

Steven frowned down at it. If Adam hated it so much, why did he even bother with him? Every time he flinched he felt like a lost cause, and the guilt of the sad faces he'd get were suffocating him. "I'm sorry."

Jacob burst out laughing, but quickly stopped. "I wasn't laughing at you, I promise. It was just irony."

Steven tried not to be embarrassed, failed, and started on the first page. "I-I already read the first page."

"That's more of an affirmation section," Adam told him pleasantly. "Peoples brains work differently, which is why there's so many fonts. Turn to the second page."

The second page was a fill in the blank or yes or no from top to bottom, and the third page was the same. "Okay..."

Jacob took the pencil from behind his ear and handed it to him. "Fill in the blanks, circle yes or no, and we'll help you."

"When I am sad, I should apologize. Yes/no."

It seemed obvious to Steven, so he circled yes. Being sad around other people made them sad too. It frustrated Allison, it made her angry. She hit him more when he couldn't hide it. She said it was ugly.

He felt ugly all the time.

Adam leaned forward and frowned. "Steven, being sad is a normal human emotion. You're allowed to feel your feelings, and you're..." Out of nowhere he looked uncomfortable and distant. His face dropped into a downcast expression at the drop of a hat. "You're allowed to be... sad."

Jacob took over when Adam tapped his hand. "When you feel sad, sometimes there's no reason. Sometimes..." His eyes flickered away for a second before locking with Stevens. "Sometimes you feel hopeless and you don't know why. It's still a valid emotion you should never apologize for."

"When I hurt someone's feelings, I should apologize. Yes/No."

He circled 'Yes' and Jacob gave him an encouraging smile. "Good job. Hurting people's feelings can happen, and apologizing when you do that regardless of how you feel is a good thing to do. I'm proud of you for recognizing that."

Proud. That felt like 'Thank you' which felt like nothing. But he tried to smile anyways as he read off the next question.

"You trip and don't break anything or hurt anybody. When this happens, you ____."

It felt like a trick question. Allison hated when he was stupid and being clumsy. She'd occasionally even knock him over again. Sometimes he'd hit his head and feel nauseous and tired for days. When it was really bad Allison would let him sleep it off until he could talk right again. "I-I'm sorry, I don't know how to answer this."

Jacob tipped his head. "Why would you apologize if you didn't break anything, and didn't hurt anyone?"

He opened his mouth to answer but nothing came out. Why would he apologize for that? "I don't know. It's annoying?"

"But is it detrimental?" Jacob asked casually. "Is you stubbing your toe a reason someone should be upset with you?"

"Yes?"

"No," They chorused firmly. They met eyes for a second too long and Jacob sighed.

"It's not."

Steven felt like crying, but took a deep breath and continued on. Every time they told him he was wrong he wanted to lie on the floor and cry until he died. Wasn't he an adult? Shouldn't he know these things? Why...?

Why had he let Allison train him like an animal?

Like an animal. He was bombarded with memories of him exploring as he left Beach City. All of the kind people he'd met and how he'd become more sure of himself in the outside world played behind his eyes. He used to be an everyone's man, he used to be confident but kind. What had happened to make him so vulnerable and stupid?

He started to feel nauseous, like he was going to be sick and gagged. No! He'd just eaten! Throwing up meant he wouldn't be fed again, they'd be disgusted by him! He fought against it with everything he had but his panic only made it worse.

Would they take away his food privileges until he could prove he wouldn't be sick? His mind wandered to Connie. Was... was this bulimic?

Adam shot up to grab a trash can and Jacob pressed at Steven's wrist with two firm fingers. "Focus on my voice, mate. You're alright, Steven. Do you need to be ill?"

He nodded and felt it rising again violently. He needed to throw up so badly it was making him break out in a heavy sweat. Jacob pressed harder and the feeling ebbed a bit. He was aware suddenly how hungry he was as a dizziness overtook him too. "Hungry."

As soon as the trash can was provided, Steven threw up everything violently. Jacob rubbed at his head and told Adam to grab Hazel. "We're gonna get you some more food, okay? Do what you need to do. I'm here."

He was still gagging, and then crying when Hazel rushed in and his warm hand rested on Steven's back. "I think we underestimated how starving you are. It looks like we might be shocking your system. I got paper towels and after we freshen up, I'm gonna make you a smoothie and make you take some vitamins."

*

When it came down to it, Steven refused to eat.

Hazel tried to comfort him but he shook off his hands and glared at the smoothie like it had done him a crime personally. "Please," He begged again, clasping one of Steven's hands in his own. "Please just take even one sip."

His lip trembled and he sighed. "I don't feel like I deserve to eat."

Zinnia was in the kitchen too, and she turned to stare at Steven. "You're too skinny."

"Zinnia!" Hazel exclaimed indignantly when Stevens face dropped.

He looked between the two and then down at his legs. "Allison used to tell me I was fat. She used to make fun of me."

Zinnia snorted. "Steven, I'm fat. I'm 250 pounds of woman, and you are, what, 160 pounds? I'm 5'6 and you're 6'6. I know you're not stupid. Do the math."

Hazel watched as Stevens eyes narrowed and he stared at a single point. Was... Was Steven actually doing the math?

Jacob poked his head in. "'Ello, housemates. If I may add a bit of knowledge to the equation, the average weight for a man at 6'6 is between... Uh let's see, body fat percentage versus muscle. Divided, no multiplied..." He eyed Steven. "You're a 23 year old, white male... I'd say around 190 to 230."

Hazel whipped out his phone and grinned. He was off by an amount that was completely irrelevant, five or so. "And you did the math in your head?"

Jacob nodded tensely. "Yes."

Hazel nudged Steven out of his stupor gently and smiled. "He doesn't like people to know this, but he's exceptionally smart. And Zinnia is a lion of a woman."

"I like lions," Steven mumbled as he grabbed the smoothie. He seemed to be feeling the weight in his hand. His thumb slid up and he inspected the frost that had melted away with his body heat.

He took a sip and they cheered, bringing a blush to his cheeks. Seeming to like it, he took another longer sip and stared down into it. "I'm going to go take my nap."

Hazel sighed his sadness as Steven departed without it and tried not to get frustrated. "I don't know what to do."

Jacob tipped his head as he sat in Steven's spot thoughtfully, eyes skimming the ceiling as if the answers were up there. Hazel glanced up too, hoping they might be. "Set his drink next to his bed. I think after the Advanced Apology Packet we need to give him the Self Worth Packet."

Zinnia chuffed and reached for the peanut butter on the top shelf. "I'll do it tonight if someone's grabs me the peanut butter. I'm craving it."

"Or are you trying to bury your feelings in it?" Hazel countered with a little grin. "Peanut butter won't make you feel better, Z."

She crossed her arms and climbed the counter. "Fine, have it your way." Retrieving it, she stomped off and Hazels sigh turned into a quiet drawn out groan.

Jacob patted his shoulder. "Chin up, chum. You've done incredible things and they're still happening, just slowly."

"You wanna work here, Jacob?" Hazel asked shallowly. "I don't think I'm ready for you
to—,"

"Done!" Jacob blurted, sagging in relief. "I accept."

Hazel always forgot that Jacob was a hugger until he nearly cracked every rib he had but he hugged him back and sighed, a bit of the burden on his shoulders lessening. "There's classes you have to take: you need first aid and CPR and Adam and I are taking psychotherapy courses and—,"

"I've been enrolled for two months already. I don't wanna to leave, Hazel. I just want to help people and stay here with you guys." He loosened the hug but somehow deepened it. "Don't send me back out there. I'm not ready. I won't make it without you guys."

Despite Jacob's chaos, he dripped honey from every pore. He'd give and give because he was never given to. Born was a bright eyed and cheerful child turned to an agoraphobic, deeply loving man.

"I won't," He promised. "Not yet."

Jacob let go and Hazel tried not to smile too largely. When they'd first met Jacob he had been sincerely afraid of him. Now he gave him his amazing hugs.

Adam trudged in and Jacob tackled him for a hug that sent both crashing to the ground as Hazel stood to bring Steven his drink. Adam blinked rapidly up at Jacob as if he simply could not believe his eyes. "Why... did you do that?"

"I was excited to see you!" Jacob exclaimed animatedly. "You'll have to learn to deal with my excitable chaos like a bomb squad."

Adam reached up to cautiously fix his hair, his other fist clenched with anxiety. "O-okay, so you're kind of like a puppy boy... this is... good. This is progress."

Jacob smiled at him and rubbed their noses together. "S'not so bad once you get used to it."

Hazel found Steven standing staring out the window with his head against the windowpane. He could tell by the way he was holding his stomach that he was indefinitely hungry, and stewing in his misery. "Hey."

He turned slightly, then more when he saw it was Hazel. His eyes traced to the door and he blushed furiously. "Hi."

"I... brought you your drink," He mumbled, offering it to him. Was this awkward? Sometimes Stevens feelings may as well be written in sharpie on his face, but even with the red face he couldn't tell why he was embarrassed.

He grabbed the cup but Hazel didn't let go in time and their fingers brushed. Steven froze and stared at their hands curiously. "Can I ask you something?"

Immediately Hazel started to sweat, his heart decided it was a good time to start acting like he was sprinting away from a bear. "Yeah, go ahead."

He turned back to the window and drank until the glass was empty. Hazel was tempted to tell him to slow down lest he frustrate his system further but he held it down and it stayed down. "Why don't you call me a good boy when I do things right?"

Hazels heart dropped into Hell. "Why would I?"

"Because it's what I prefer?"

Whoa. The heavy sarcasm was so unlike him. How long had he been sitting on that? Allison must call him a good boy when she bothered to praise him, and it made Hazel want to throw up himself. Four years didn't seem like long until you took into account that it was 1/6 of his life. It probably felt like eons to him. He knew that his dad used to live out of a van which he had all kinds of negative feelings about, but as far as he knew Stevens father loved him as much as he could.

Maybe he should contact his father for a visit when he settled in more.

"Steven... it's derogatory. You know that, don't you?"

Steven slammed the glass and grabbed at his hair. "But I hate hearing 'thank you'!" He cried. "It makes me feel like you hate me!"

Hazel held up his hands and carefully approached the quickly hyperventilating man. "Steven, you know that's not—,"

"Then why not give me this?!" He started sobbing and pulling on his coils, sinking to the floor in a puddle of panic. "Why not give me this one thing?! You took me away from my home! From my girlfriend who I loved more than I wanted to be free!"

Hazel felt his heart break. "I'm..." He wanted to apologize but he wasn't sorry. It was a bad example to set. Instead he lowered himself to the ground and wrapped Steven in his arms. "Let it out."

He clung to him and sobbed. "I miss Allison! I miss her so much!" He wailed and grimaced like it was causing him physical pain. Steven was crying so hard he was sure the entire house could hear it. "I wanna go home, Hazel. Please, just let me go home!"

Hazels eyes welled up too. "Please, reconsider! Steven, you're already doing so well! You didn't run off like I was afraid you would, you're eating again, you're sleeping in a bed! Why would you want to go home to someone who hits you when you have me?!"

Steven gasped the last of his pain and pulled away to wipe at his eyes before locking them with Hazels. "Why? I'm pathetic and you know it."

Hazel made an inappropriate decision, he knew it was wrong and he did it anyways.

He rose onto his knees and pulled Steven into his chest. "You'll always have me, Steven." He kissed the top of his head and Steven melted into his arms. It wasn't to take advantage of his weakness, he just... felt so strongly for him. "You don't know how much you mean to me yet, but I'm trying to show you. I want you to get better. I want you to love yourself the same way I love you."

Steven sniffled and moved over to listen to Hazels heartbeat. It must have soothed him because he nodded. "I love you too, Hazel."

Only then was he aware that he was kneeling on glass. It didn't necessarily hurt, but it was uncomfortable.

Hazel held him for a long period of silence before he cleared his throat, hating to break the moment. "Hey Steven?"

He leaned back to look up at Hazel and smiled weakly. "I'm okay now. I'm sorry."

Later in the evening after things had settled, he found Connie and Steven talking about something. It filled him with warmth, he was making connections. Zinnia joined with Sophie and they sat in a comfortable silence watching the sunset.

He pulled out his phone and started researching Stockholm Syndrome.