If you asked someone at work, they would tell you that nothing has changed in a year. Cassidy is still the same, she will always be the heartless and cold fashion queen everyone fears at the office. Nothing has changed at work since last year, everything is still the same except maybe the amount of new assistants that comes and goes. Cassidy is still having her cup of coffee in the morning, still goes to meetings, appointments and shows and still spends most of her time in her office. No one, not even the press who followed every single of her movement, could tell something was wrong. But there was and is something wrong. In fact, Cassidy's life is a mess since last year, since Samantha left. A year has passed, Cassidy's still processing the whole thing inside of her head. She doesn't regret this relationship, not in the least, what she does regret is letting the young woman taking control over her life, and now she's left all alone with no clue of what to do. Cassidy has never been that heartbroken before, Sierra was not the same, this time she doesn't know what to do to erase those old habits she had taken with Samantha. So she doesn't do anything, she keeps it all for herself, she hides the pain and is even colder to other people now. It isn't much of a life she is living now, it feels more like she went back to that boring and lonely routine she used to have when she hadn't met Samantha yet. The hours pass, scary hours, she gets older and lonelier each time. It is frightening. She is scared of loosing time and she is afraid of not enjoying her time enough and regret it when it is going to be too late.
William's cancer seems to get worse, he is still in strength of taking care of their kids, Alexandra and Andrea spends even more time with him to enjoy his presence as much as possible before it is too late. Cassidy visits him sometimes, he doesn't hold a big place in her heart but he is still the father of her two daughters.
She doesn't do much of her free time, she has lost track of time, every days seem to blend in with the others and she isn't capable of making a difference. She is less spotted outside by the press as she doesn't really go out anymore, she hates the press even more anyway now that they have leaked pictures of her and her ex girlfriend. It happened a month after their breakup, Samantha apparently went back to Shelbyville and sold her apartment in New York. Cassidy did not get the chance to talk to her again before she called her that day to tell her that the medias had found out about their past relationship and that pictures of them were all over page six.
« Do you want me to do something? » The editor had asked with a worried tone on the phone.
« No. They will forget about it when they'll notice they won't get no more pictures of us. » Samantha had answered coldly. Cassidy had tried to ask her about her life now, but Samantha had hung up before she got the chance to.
It's been one year now, she doesn't personally have news about the blond-haired woman but the medias have. Cassidy has read on vanity fair that Samantha is focusing on her career now, she is apparently living somewhere in Europe and is already posing for great designers like Sandro and Calvin Klein. Cassidy had fought the urge to Google her the first time she saw her article on Vanity fair, she wanted to know what she became after their relationship ended. But she convinced herself not to do it, she told herself it would just make her suffer even more.
She feels insanely proud of her now though, she is glad to see that the end of their relationship has at least brought something positive to her which is realizing her dream of being a model.

Cassidy stares at the door of her house, waiting for the time her daughters would open it. They have spent the weekend at their father's and Cassidy couldn't wait to have them back. She remembers when she told the girls Samantha would ultimately not be moving in with them, that was three days after their breakup. They had reacted well, they were sad of course but they didn't ask much questions when their mom told them it was over.
Two little not so little anymore blonds open the door briskly, rushing inside to hug their mom.
« Good evening mom. » Andrea says as she hugs her tightly.
A huge smile draws on Cassidy's face, they are the only thing that could make her so happy.
« Hello girls. How was the week? » She asks, letting go of them.
« It was cool, but we missed you. » Alexandra answers as she gives her bag to Emily. Andrea does the same and Emily disappears into the closet with their stuffs.
They spend the rest of the evening talking around dinner, then she is left alone as her daughters are going to bed. They go to sleep earlier now, not because they sleep earlier but because they are now teenagers, they have their life, they spend time on their phone now, they hang out with friends and boyfriends and do parties. Cassidy fears that period of life the most, she is scared of not being enough of a mother for them as this is a difficult time in life.

That is why two weeks later, she proposes them to go on a trip at their grandmother's in London.
She is not close to her mother, she hasn't talked to her in a while but she tells herself that going to see her could be only positive after everything that has happened this year. She needs some fresh air and London is a good place to disappear for some days.
The days in London pass by idly, they go from days to a full week. Cassidy stays in her hotel room near the old town. She doesn't go out and makes a concise effort not to think about Samantha. She mostly works on the magazine while her daughters visit their grandmother.
On the last day, she's programed to stay in London, her mother comes knocking at the door.
It is quite a surprising visit, they have not talked in years. Her mother has always remained the same middle class, conservative Jewish she was when Cassidy was growing up. She thought that her mother would never want to see her again after the articles of her and Samantha. Same sex partners is not within the teaching of the Torah.
It is awkward at first, Cassidy actually talks to her mother but in a very defensive way.
« I saw the article. » Katherine says as she is sitting around the kitchen table.
« Don't say anything if you're going to say something mean. » Cassidy sighs, her breakup with Samantha is already a delicate subject, the last thing she needs is her mother disapproving it.
« I wasn't. If she makes you happy then I am okay. » Cassidy looks at her mother surprised, she sees sincerity in her eyes. « Does she? Make you happy? » She asks.
Cassidy looks down at her cup of coffee, closing her eyes. It's been a year, yet she still can't seem to get over the young woman. To her, it feels like they broke up only a week ago, it's still fresh and bitter in her head and the pain she has felt the first day is still the same today.
« She did. » Cassidy states with a stuttering voice.
Katherine opens her mouth to say something, she swallows.
« Did? » She asks as she frowns.
« Yes, she did. » Cassidy nods.
« And now? »
Cassidy shakes her head and purses her lips.
« Now I am on my own. It's better this way. »
That is the answer she has told everyone, that it is better this way. She thinks it's better this way, for both of them, yet there's still a part of her that wonders what could have happened if she didn't end their relationship. Would they be happy today? Would they have found a way to make everything seem normal?
« I'm sorry. She seemed like a good woman, I'd have loved to meet her. » Her mother then says.
Cassidy is sure her mother would have adored Samantha's energy and personality.
« She is indeed a good woman. » She replies, drinking some of her coffee.
« Can I ask what happened? »
Cassidy remains silent for a while, she has been asking herself the same question over the past year. What happened, really? Did they break up because Sierra was in the way? Is it Sierra's fault, or Cassidy's?
« I guess things didn't work out for us and I ended it before it would break us. » She sighs with a chuckle to hide a sob. « Though one year later I still wonder if I made the right decision. » She admits with honesty.
She isn't the kind to open up, but right now seems like a good moment.
« Honey don't take it personally, but you've always been a lonely soul. Maybe you're just... not meant to be with someone. » Her mother says softly, half smiling.
It sounds half true half wrong to Cassidy. She has always known herself that she is better on her own, she has always been, she always felt better alone than surrounded by people. She always felt like her brain wasn't like everyone else's brain, like her moved fast and the world's moved slower and she always thought everybody was simply stupid. But also, Samantha was the only one who could make her appreciate a little talk around a coffee, that's why she had invited her for New Year's Eve in the first place. Cassidy has always felt out of place when she was with other people, she has felt different her whole life, like she didn't belonged there. Samantha had changed that. She made the older woman feel valid and understood. It's like Cassidy has always been a true lonely soul, meant to be Samantha and only her, the only one with whom everything didn't feel stupid and pointless.
« That's what I thought too. Samantha changed that. » She says quietly.
Katherine looks at the ceiling.
« Well then... Is it too late to call her back? » Her mother says in a chuckle, shrugging.
It sounds so simple coming out of her mouth that Cassidy almost considers doing so for a second.
« I am afraid it is not that simple. We just don't belong together, she has her whole life in front of her, a career to build, and a family too. I'm just an old burden she would drag with her. » She winces.
« Have you considered asking her what she thought? Maybe she is okay with not having the things you can't give her. »
Cassidy closes her eyes and shakes her head briskly.
« She is young and naive, of course she would say she is okay with it. But believe me, she would regret it for the rest of her life. It would be selfish of me to stay with her. » She almost whispers, staring at her cup of coffee now empty on the little table.
« You seem to care a lot about her. » Katherine notices.
Katherine hasn't seen her daughter for years, but she could not be fooled on this. She is still her mother, she knows what she needs, what she wants, when she is happy or sad. Her instinct never fools her on this. Katherine has always thought of herself as a bad mother to Cassidy. She used to travel a lot for work, she was always far away and later realized that she had wasted years of seeing her daughter grow up. When Cassidy got to college she stopped talking to her, Katherine had tried to keep in touch at first but then she moved to London and didn't talk to her for years. They never really had any argument or fight, time just separated them as they never were really close. She was although reading the news often, her daughter would appear a lot on page six and it was a way for her to make sure she was okay. When she saw Cassidy was pregnant with Alexandra she called her again, they talked for some time and Cassidy said she was okay for Katherine to meet her. She met both her granddaughters a few times, but that is it. Now is the closest she can call a proper conversation with her own daughter.
« Yes mother, I do care about her. Very much. »