Cassidy thought about it all night. From the very first second she had got the call of Frank saying that there had been an accident, she knew she was going to see Samantha in Milan. Only she always thought she'd be going alone, she hadn't thought about all the things that entered behind, including Sierra. She has to see Sierra again, she is her mother, she is probably spending days and nights at the hospital.
She has left the girls at their dad's, told Lucy she had an emergency to go to and sent her all the appointments by mail and told her to cancel her upcoming meetings of the week. Visiting Samantha changes everything, it delays all the work she had planned to do at Wardrobe, yet she does not care, it does not matter.
She walks into the hospital in an Hermes coat, a hot coffee in her hand and her iconic oversized sunglasses over the nose.
Blake understands Cassidy's icy calm when she shows up, she is herself unable to cry now. Not because she doesn't feel sad but because she feels numb, stunned. Frank had asked her to greet Cassidy when she would come at the entrance, he knows Cassidy deserves an explanation with details.
« Mrs.Vaughan. I'm Samantha's cousin, Blake. » She extends her hand feeling intimidated by her glances.
« Call me Cassidy. » She says as shakes her hand.
« I'm sorry you had to find out that way... » Blake states in a quiet voice, everyone is being quiet since the accident.
Sierra paces down the hospital corridors as the nurses and doctors pace down with files and folders. She's been in this hospital for four days, her daughter for almost six. She's been living of dark espresso bought at the cafeteria and pastries from a bakery somewhere near that Frank read about. She has huge eyebags and has only gone to shower at the hotel once. She has to stay here until everything is done, she's afraid that if she leaves weariness will overcome her and she will not return.
When Cassidy sees her she stays stoic, she is not in the mood to glance today. She has better to do, someone needs her in this hospital.
« Sierra. »
« Cassidy. »
They salute each other with a distant tone, neither woman looking directly at the other. Cassidy stands taller in her high Yves Saint-Laurent heels. She obviously hasn't closed her eyes for the whole night but her perfectly-done makeup would almost say otherwise. Sierra looks tired and sad, her years in suburbs are showing and she nods as she looks past Cassidy to see her niece Blake.
« How is it going? » Blake asks worryingly.
« They are printing some paperwork with the medications and other thing I don't understand. They will give that to us as soon as it is done. » She explains in a sigh.
Blake takes a deep breath and turns to Cassidy.
« Cassidy are you sure you're okay here? »
She nods.
« I'm going to get some coffee. Would you like one? » Sierra announces.
« That would be nice. » The fashion editor nods as she leans against a blue wall.
Her voice is velvet soft, a grave sadness resonates from it. As Sierra walks away, she finds herself wrapping her hands around her waist. She knows she should be here, Samantha deserves it but she feels so alone, so out of place, so reproachable. She feels the onset of tears and she can't let the tears fall here, not in front of Sierra. To her fortune Blake comes back after a few minutes have passed.
« Cassidy, this is doctor Garcia. » She announces.
The young man in a white robe smiles and nods. He is very tall and a bit chubby, he seems like a lovely man. He gives her a heartwarming smile, it is really needed indeed.
« The great Cassidy Vaughan. » He offers his hand to shake. « Not the best circumstances to meet you but it's a pleasure, my daughter is a huge fan. »
Cassidy smiles, normally she would be annoyed that someone would bring something like that up in a situation like this. She would bark something harsh back at the perpetrator for lack of decorum. The man had a kind, handsome face with high cheekbones and a full beard around them. This man is the same that had received Samantha as she was bleeding out, he had fought his hardest when her heart had stopped beating. This situation was different, Cassidy owed this man so much more than he could imagine, he was a hero to her.
« The pleasure is mine. » She answers softly as she shakes her hand in his. « It would be a pleasure to meet your daughter as well if I ever get the time to. »
She has never said anything like that before, she has always been aware that she has fans around the world and she is glad that some people look up to her, but she has never pushed forward to meet them or get to know them. But now she feels the need to be kind, she is not sure why. Maybe the accident has made her realize that life is short and can be over at any moment, it is worth doing great things before it is too late. And as she says that, she knows Samantha would be proud of her.
« She would love that. » He smiles in response. « So I don't have all the paperwork with me but we got some more details from the accident. It isn't all explained yet but apparently a Mercedes has lost control on the road and hit them. From what we have, Mrs. Gates just seem to have been at the wrong place at the wrong moment. » He explains very professionally, he says things slowly and with a supportive look as he knows an accident is never a good thing to hear for someone.
Cassidy hears him, yet she doesn't listen. Her eyes closes as they get watered when she hears "wrong place at the wrong moment." She starts blaming herself for it all, like she would always do when it came to Samantha suffering. She tells herself things would have been different if she hadn't decided to break up with her in the first place, she would not have gone to Milan and would never have gotten in that car, would never have gotten in this accident.
« And... Where is she now? Can I see her? » She whispers with a sad look on her face.
« She has been placed in a room at the second floor. Would you like to see her? » He asks.
Cassidy almost cuts him and doesn't hesitate one second before answering.
« Yes. » She nods quietly.

She doesn't know if she is ready, her heart starts beating faster than ever as she walks toward the hospital room. She sure wants to see Samantha, she wants to see her and hold her, but she is scared that the picture of Samantha she is going to find in this room is going to haunt her forever.
« She is stable for now, but she is not awake yet. Take all the time you need. » That's the doctor's last words before he walks away.
Cassidy pushes the door slowly, she knows Samantha is not awake and doesn't want to wake her up from a resting sleep. She feels glad doctor Garcia has left her some time alone with Samantha until she steps in and sees the younger woman; suddenly she doesn't know how to handle it all alone anymore. She is indeed sleeping, from a far and peaceful long sleep. Her skin is even paler than it usually is, her lips are almost blue, she has a few wounds covered with some bandage. Samantha looks so small, so young, so breakable. The silence in the room is terrifyingly freezing. There are needles and tubes coming out of her arms and hands to give her the oxygen keeping her alive.
Cassidy can't hold back a sob as she is walking closer to her sleeping beauty.
« Oh, Samantha.. » She whispers horrified, too afraid to move, to even breathe.
It feels like a bad nightmare now, every time Cassidy takes a breath, she feels like she is stealing one to Samantha, every time she stands here for another second, she feels like it is Samantha's last second to live. She feels guilty, coupable, she finds herself thinking she should have been the one laying on this hospital bed.
A few years before she would have been worried about her own heart being broken, now she doesn't care about her own anymore. It is indeed broken, seeing the woman she loves in such a bad health breaks her more every second, but she doesn't care. The only thing she cares about is Samantha to wake up and to live, to live a long life like she deserves. She would be ready to give her own life if it was to see Samantha's beautiful ocean eyes open and blink again.
She takes her hand in a shivered move, jumps at the touch of it. It is freezing, it's ghostly freezing, terrifyingly freezing. She does not remember touching something that cold ever before, it feels like a bad horror movie anyone would want to stop watching in the middle of it.
She doesn't know how she finds the strength to but she holds the woman's hand tightly and squeezes it many times, somehow hoping she would wake up and everything would be over. She brings her hand to her lips and kisses it, each parcels of it. She wants to feel that cold in herself, in her bones, she wants to feel her pain so Samantha wouldn't be alone to handle it. She wants Samantha to know that she is not alone even though she is peacefully sleeping, almost unanimated. She wants her to know that she is with her to face it all with her; she doesn't want Samantha to face those terrible hours that are coming alone.
She stays for several minutes, staring at her in a way that can only mean love.
She is interrupted by a woman entering in the room.
« Oh, sorry. »
Cassidy has a gesture of recul, she lets go of Samantha's hand to look at her. She is quite tall, she has dark eyes and red hair, she looks very charming and down to earth. She seems like she is around Samantha's age, maybe they know each other.
« You're Cassidy Vaughan. I'm Sally. » She says like she is intimidated but does not show it.
Cassidy walks toward the redhead and offers her hand, she remembers her from the airport now that she walked closer. She knows who she is to Samantha but she chooses to act out as polite and doesn't show her despising feelings towards her.
Sally shakes her hand back timidly.
« I imagine you want a moment with her? » Cassidy asks in her blank tone.
« I can come back later if you still want to stay. » Sally answers.
« No. I will wait outside. » She declines as she stars walking aside to leave.
« She'd rather you to stay than me. » Sally stops her.
Cassidy stops and turns around to face the woman.
« Why? »
« Louisiana Samoretti, she's the woman who called the ambulance after the accident. She told me Samantha asked for you while she was fighting between life and death. » Sally half smiles with watery eyes, she looks tired as well, just as everyone else.
Cassidy is the first one to be tired about all that though. She plays it defensive at first, nothing tells her that woman wants something nice from her.
« How... »
« Louisiana is there. » Sally cuts her off. « You can have a word with her, she saved Samantha. She is outside. » Sally smiles now with a supportive smile.
Cassidy takes a deep breath and half smiles as well, Sally deserves a smile if she made Samantha happy for some time while she was gone.
« Thank you very much. » She whispers before stepping out of the room, it is difficult to leave Samantha at first but she will come back soon, she promises herself.