The world stays still as if two words had the power to freeze time. Cassidy is sure that what she's feeling would be the equal of a glass vase shattering, exploding in all directions. An expensive, large crystal vase filled with flowers and water, shards flying into despair, and the noise is awful as it clatters to the ground. Suddenly those words explain everything. They explain, not why Samantha has been answering all of her calls, but why Cassidy has recently been answering all of Samantha's. It makes sense now, the urge to be friend with her and get to know her and pass by her insubordinate comments. Cassidy wants to smile but she knows there is only one way this ever ends. She wants to believe that Samantha would be different but she's no longer young and naïve.
Is it her turn to be Sierra now? Is it her turn to break Samantha's heart? Would it mean breaking her own? Is that what happened, did Sierra break her own heart? Did her world shatter too when she heard Cassidy's voice for the last time through the phone? Cassidy would like to think so, that those days meant something. What now? What does she tell Samantha?
The seconds tick away slowly like an old Dali painting, the clocks melting against an arid background. They feel like minutes, like centuries in cathedral silence. Cassidy sits down on the first chair she finds, a stool that leans against the dark wood of her hallway.
« Cassidy? Are you still on the phone? » Samantha asks. She's not sure what she is asking but she simply wants to hear the other woman speak. She hates the silence, it makes it impossible to read people's mind. She is well aware about the fact that Cassidy is a grown woman who knows what she wants, but she isn't sure if she'll be able to handle the confessions that has been made. Will their friendship survive the emerged feelings just confessed on the phone?
« Are you... I mean, are you sure? » Cassidy asks again. She wants to be sure. But she is already sure.
« I am sure and well aware of the feelings I hold for you. » Samantha repeats through the phone, laying in her bed, her heart beating faster than ever before.
« Samantha... » The older woman pauses.
« We can talk about it tomorrow around a coffee. What do you say? » Samantha asks hopelessly.
« I don't think it is a good idea. » Cassidy drops.
Samantha closes her eyes like she wants to escape the nightmare that's happening and also to keep calm and not panic. She tells herself Cassidy simply needs time to process and that she needs to be alone for a while.
« I understand. Call me if you need anything. »
That's the only thing Samantha can say before she hears the click on the phone.
Hearing that click is a torture. It could mean anything. She knows Cassidy isn't the kind of woman to open her heart so easily, so she obviously needs some time to process Samantha's confessions. But will she ever call back? That's what Samantha fears the most, why she didn't want to tell her in the first place. She is scared of losing her. After almost two years of friendship, she doesn't want to lose that woman. She could never forgive her own feelings if she does.

That click is haunting Cassidy as well. She is still frozen after she ends that call. Her mind isn't able to process; when she is not able to process things, she panics. That's what happened : she panicked and clicked too quickly to hang up to phone. The last time she confessed her feelings through a phone was in Paris, and then she never saw Sierra again. Now she is unable to think about Samantha without thinking about Sierra, and the connection between the two women. Sierra wanted lust. Isn't that what Samantha wants too, lust? Or does she want something serious? Cassidy's head is aching so badly thinking about all this. She regrets saying no to that coffee. Seeing Samantha in person to talk about all this is the best option possible. She takes her phone again.
« Come over for dinner tonight? » She texts her.
She doesn't know how she should text her now. Should see say hi? Or bye? She doesn't know anymore. She has never been put in that position before, not even with William. With William, everything was so planned, so previsible, without affection. Samantha is not William.
She jumps at the noise of her phone.
« I can't tonight. Maybe another time. »
Cassidy sighs.
« See you tomorrow at work then. »

« You look exhausted. » Lucy points out.
Samantha takes off her grey fake fur coat and puts it on her chair. She is wearing a black hoodie, a large pair of pants and sunglasses to hide her dark circles under her eyes. That is the outfit she wears when something's wrong. She has not slept of the night. Cassidy can not walk out of her mind, she always holds the biggest place and it's exhausting. She hates that she can not control Cassidy but Cassidy can control her. She rolls her eyes and takes a simp of her coffee, hoping it would make her feel better.
« Bad night. » She answers quietly.
She looks at Cassidy's coffee on her desk, waiting to be given off to the queen of Fashion. She inhales deeply, trying to stop her heart from beating that fast. She has to go see Cassidy, even if it is just for a minute. She can do it. Come on Sam, she thinks. She takes the coffee in her hand and walks in Cassidy's office. The editor is sitting on the chair of her desk quietly as usual, already working on her MacBook. She is wearing a dark purple dress that matches with her skin perfectly, and Samantha guards herself from telling her how gorgeous she looks. She steps forward, closer to Cassidy's desk and puts the coffee on the table.
« Cassidy. » This is the only thing she has the courage to say.
Cassidy looks up to see her. Samantha is surprised when she gives her a soft gaze and not a despising one.
« Samantha. » She quietly replies.
« I brought you your coffee earlier so I could see you. » She smiles slightly, trying to stop herself from blushing at the woman's beautiful gaze.
« Is a coffee necessary to come and see me? » Cassidy's comment doesn't mean to sound rude, but it does.
She always gets defensive when she is afraid of getting hurt, and that is what she feels now.
Samantha looks away, getting flushed. She panics.
« No, you're right. » She answers, suffocating in her own breath.
« Why did you want to see me? »
« I wanted to talk about yesterday, and... » She stutters, struggling to find the right words.
« We will talk about this later Samantha. I am working and so are you. » The editor states in her usual blank tone.
« Right. » Samantha nods. « But I also wanted to tell you that I am leaving. » Samantha drops.
Cassidy looks at her with wide eyes.
« What do you mean you are leaving? »
« I've been working here for almost two years and I believe it's time for me to pursue my dream now. » She explains, smiling slightly.
Cassidy doesn't know how to react. She wants to tell her to stay, to stay with her, but she is afraid to show how she really feels and end up hurt or betrayed. If this is friendship, Cassidy doesn't want it anymore. It's hurting her.
« When are you leaving? » That's the only thing the editor has the courage to ask.
« Next week. I will see you before I leave but I wanted to thank you here, in private. »
Cassidy nods, tell her to leave. She finds herself wondering if Samantha isn't leaving because of her. She is running away, just like Sierra. The women she cares about always leave her.
At the end of the day, Cassidy leaves work earlier. The only thing she sees herself doing now is go home to her girls and think about all of this another time. She sees Samantha laughing with Neil and Lucy as she walks through the corridor, but doesn't point it out. She usually would tell them to go back to work seriously, but she is too afraid to meet Samantha's eyes today.

She knew going home would make her feel better. Two little blond heads run in her arms as she walks by. Alexandra and Andrea have both grown up now, too fast. They are almost teenagers.
Alexandra looks like something's wrong.
« Mommy, I have to tell you something but... Promise you won't get mad at me. » The little one states, giving her mother an innocent gaze.
« What is it? » Cassidy asks as she wonders what her daughter could have done to make her mad. Today is not the best day to get mad.
« I got a B at a maths test. » Alexandra drops, biting her lip of apprehension.
Cassidy remains quiet, sighing. She usually would get mad, but not today. She is too tired and she doesn't want to start a fight. Cassidy leans down on her knees to face her daughter and takes her hand.
« It's okay baby. But don't get used to it, okay? » She says.
A big smile draws on Alexandra's face as she allows herself to breathe normally again.
« I promise mom. Thank you for not getting mad. »
Cassidy gives Alexandra a shower of kisses on both cheeks, and Alexandra laughs loudly.
« Mommy, stop! » She laughs as she tries to get rid of her mom's kisses all over her face.
Cassidy laughs too.
« Can I have kisses too? » Andrea asks as she stands behind them both.
Cassidy tells her to come and hugs them both as she kisses them. Their laugh is the best sound in the world. Her daughters never fail to make her feel better. And for a moment, she does not think about Samantha.
Though it isn't for too long, because the thoughts of her quickly come back after having dinner with her girls. Alexandra says she is going to call her father to announce him her results at her maths test and leave Andrea and Cassidy alone in the kitchen for a while.
« Can I ask you something? » Andrea asks as she swallows a bite of her apple.
« Yes? »
« Are you okay? »
She looks very concerned about a her mother. Cassidy looks down at the table.
« I am. Why wouldn't I be? »
« You don't look like you're okay. » She adds.
Cassidy closes her eyes for a second. Is it so obvious that she is concerned about her relationship with her assistant? She looks at her daughter with a forced smile.
« I'm okay sweetie. »
Cassidy helps Emily clean the kitchen while the girls are choosing a movie to watch. Cassidy doesn't usually watch movies, and she usually doesn't let her girls sleep late when they have school either, but tonight is a bit different. The girls insisted and Cassidy really needs time with them.
The three of them cuddle up on the couch for the whole movie, Cassidy caresses her daughters's hair the whole time until the end. She is happy she has found a stable relationship with her girls now, a way to balance her personal life with her work. Now she tries to spend less time at work and to do more thing with the blond heads.
Alexandra is the first one to fall asleep, and Andrea isn't far from doing so because she yawns multiple time as the end of the movie approach. When the movie is finally over, Cassidy carries them both to their bedroom and put them to bed. She gives them a protective kiss on the forehead and a hug before switching off their lights and walking out.
And she is alone again. Samantha rushes into her mind like a flash, she is again in total control of the editor's mind and she hates that.
Cassidy stares at the ceiling, the memories of the fireworks watched with Samantha hit her. She remembers noticing the way Samantha had been staring at her the whole time, but she never said a thing, pretending not to see. She saw the way she looked at her, with pure love and joy. Though at that time, Cassidy never noticed the feelings that reflected her eyes at the time. She understands now, everything. Samantha has been in love with her for almost a year, and she never said a thing, until now.
Why now? What has changed from before? Why is everything the same, yet seems so different?