Damien was pacing in his bedroom, mind unable to settle on a single thought—everything was jumbled, clashing with one another. In the past few days, he had been thinking about his parents—how his dad was no longer there and his mom was putting herself in isolation. On the other hand, he had friends. He hadn't seen much of Virgil or Roman, but he had Patton by his side and now maybe Remy, too.

He continued to pace around the room, unaware that someone was standing by the door. He hadn't told Patton that he'd tried to contact their mother. His attempts came up empty, of course, though he couldn't help but think that perhaps he could try to drive her out of her sorrow. He didn't want to force his presence on his mom, but he wasn't certain what else he could do. Slowing his pace, he walked over to the window, looking out into the city. It was sunny outside and the trees looked green with life—nothing like the turmoil in his head.

Sighing, he propped his head on the window. His breath fogged up the glass, making it turn a blurry white. There were too many things going on simultaneously. How did Patton do it with so much ease? And Remy... Remy had been somewhat different—he didn't have any other word to describe it. Remy had been a lot less dramatic around him and he often looked spent and exhausted. He admitted to himself that he liked the sassy and dramatic side his soulmate had—just like how he was before the devastating loss of his father. Granted they weren't familiar with each other before, but he thought it would be fun to get back into their flirty interactions.

Turning back, he finally saw Remy standing by the door. He was leaning casually on the door frame with sunglasses concealing his eyes—as usual. Damien sighed, crossing his arms and giving Remy a questioning look.

"How long have you been there?"

"Oh, I dunno," Remy said, stepping into the room. "Since you walked around the room like a madman, walk to the window with this really depressing face, and then you oh-so-dramatically turned around and saw me, so... I've been here for like a year, babe."

Damien rolled his eyes and walked closer, poking Remy in the stomach in feigned annoyance. "Do you have to be so annoying all the time?"

"Hm, milashka, I'm not annoying. I prefer calling myself interesting." Remy placed one hand on his hip, giving Damien a coy smile. "Don't you agree, moy milyy? "

"Do I?" Damien returned Remy's smile with a press of his lips, making it appear a thin line across his face. "I find you more sassy—like, really sassy—and you're kinda sarcastic."

"You forgot to include the fact that you like my hugs."

Damien went rigid, repeating what Remy said in his head. He didn't genuinely like Remy's hugs, did he? He merely sought comfort in the only way he could. He much preferred to limit any physical contact—unless it was with Patton, but that's beside the point. He tightened the cross of his arms, as if hugging himself. Why did Remy's statement even got into his head? It was just a hug, after all. He didn't have to think about it too much, yet his mind kept reflecting the thought over and over.

"No, I don't." Damien arched his brows.

"Okay, fine, whatever. Anyway, Virge told me to come in here. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. It was stupid."

Remy furrowed his brows. He had pretended as though he didn't notice Damien's distressed look when he entered the room. He didn't want to interrupt whatever thought Damien was having, so he stayed quiet. Now it was evident he was avoiding something—and it made Remy felt troubled. He lifted his sunglasses to perch on his head.

"Damien," Remy said in a stern voice, catching Damien off-guard. He walked closer, placing both hands on Damien's shoulder, effectively forcing him to pay attention. "Please, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Damien said scarcely above a whisper. Gone was the lively mood earlier.

Remy let out a gentle sigh. "Is it—is it too much? I'm sorry I care."

"Look, I'm not the only one with problems. How about you?" Damien raised his voice with an accusing tone. "You're hiding something, too. You always look so tired, and you wouldn't tell me anything. So why would I tell you anything?"

"We were talking about you, not me," Remy replied firmly, maintaining a calm composure. "What do you even want to know about me? What stuff do you even think I'm hiding?"

Damien wrenched himself away, irritation simmering in the pit of his stomach. Why couldn't the world just stop for a second and give him some time? He needed to accept the fact that he'll never see his dad ever again. He needed to know if his mom was okay or if his brother was dealing. He wanted to tell Remy everything, but something in his head told him not to—and he didn't know why. Everything seemed wrong. It was easier to pretend and lie that everything was perfectly smooth.

"You haven't been sleeping, have you, Rem?" Damien asked with a steady tone, stepping closer.

"No, but it doesn't matter." Remy kept his calm facade, but the siren in his head was screaming. This was getting extremely close. He didn't need to explain he had night terrors from his past. Damien didn't need to know about Varden.

"You've been asking me how I've been; taking care of me and my brother. Don't you think it's time for me to do the same for you?"

Remy stayed unresponsive. He had imagined what it would be like to have a positive, healthy relationship. After he got together with Varden, that ex of his had forced all his friends away. He'd seen how his parents were happy with each other, but he didn't know what it was like to be happy with a partner. Every time he tried to make Varden happy, something inevitably went awry. He felt the need to dedicate his every being for him, because it was the only friendship—or any kind of relationship, for that matter—he had. He couldn't lose Varden. It was only when the pain became unbearable did he see how wrong it was—and even then, he didn't recognize it by himself.

It felt wrong that Damien was trying to... what was Damien trying to do? Help him? It was such a foreign thing for someone to aid him in any way. He was always that one independent person in the room. He couldn't think properly with his past looming over him and clashing with the present. He stood frozen, not answering Damien's question—it was meant to be rhetorical anyway, right?

Seeing Remy stood stock-still, Damien did the unthinkable. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around Remy, making the younger sucked in a harsh breath. In the past, Patton's hugs always calmed him down and he could think clearly afterwards. It was the only thing he could think of that could help Remy. His mom had repeatedly told him when he was younger that "you're not very good with people." He pretended the awkwardness around them didn't exist and pulled Remy closer.

"Maybe I do like your hugs," Damien whispered into Remy's hair. "Just a little."

----------

"Come here, I wanna show you something." Patton pulled Logan into the balcony, pushing the sliding glass door closed once they were outside. They ignored Virgil who chose to occupy himself with his phone. They could see one corner of the campus from the balcony—the lush green of the field across the grounds. On the other side was the city park with its lake in the middle. Patton had always liked that lake even though he didn't go there frequently. The sky was perfectly blue with thin tufts of cloud decorating the expansive space.

"What is it?" Logan asked, choosing to entertain Patton. His bubbly soulmate pointed at the tree that stood next to the apartment building. Looking closer, he could see a small nest. He didn't recognize too many birds in the city, so this was interesting. "Ah, did you mean the birds nest?"

"Yep!" Patton chirped. "The mama bird would sing in the morning."

"Did you know there are numerous indigenous birds in Florida? But since we live in the city, we don't see many of them."

"Did you know that you sounded like a walking fun-fact generator sometimes?"

"Oh, Roman has been dubbing me Windows eight for years now," Logan said with a smile. "I told him that I had upgraded to Windows ten."

Patton let out his trademark giggle that never failed to bring a smile on Logan's face. He was taken by surprise when Patton suddenly flung his arms around his neck. He promptly caught Patton's weight, supporting it so they both didn't fall over. Why did Patton have to do it in the balcony of all places? Didn't he perceive the danger of falling off heights?

"Everything alright, Patton?" Logan asked with amusement. He leaned his head on Patton's which sat comfortably on Logan's shoulder. "You should warn me when you're giving me your hug attacks."

"Shush, Logan. I just want to hug you!" Patton huffed an embarrassed laugh, tightening his hold on Logan.

They stayed in each other's arms, not letting go. Logan surprisingly found it appeasing to be able to share his warmth. The only people he was ever willing to hug was his mother. Though with Patton, everything was so familiar and natural. There was nothing to worry about, and he could simply lose himself.

"Patton," Logan said hushedly. "What are we?"

"What do you want us to be?" Patton pulled himself away, still with arms slung across Logan's shoulder. He could feel a tingly feeling crawling up his neck, but Patton ignored it.

"I don't know... All I know is I'm not ready for—for whatever this is."

Patton set his head on Logan's chest, listening to the rhythm of Logan's steady heartbeat. He looked far into the sky at the speck of cloud in the distant. He was content for the time being to completely lean on Logan for relief. A lot had happened in the past month, and he knew it was time to start moving on. There were things he had yet to do. He would have to move past his grief if he ever wanted to carry on forward. He looked up at Logan and leaned up slowly, giving a small peck on his cheek before letting go completely.

"I don't want anything yet either. So, that's okay."

----------

Virgil had been bored with his phone for a while now. When he noticed Logan and Patton on the balcony, he chose to observe them through the glass door. He didn't care it was most likely creepy and weird to stalk on other people. He smirked when Patton tackled Logan with a hug. Those two were adorable. In Virgil's mind, they were practically married. It was as though they could understand each other completely. His smirk softened to a faint smile as he saw the two stayed in their embrace. To him, they looked whole and somewhat complete. Virgil couldn't help the hideous feeling of envy that was creeping up in him.

He turned away, looking down at his hands. The pang of emptiness in his chest was back, stronger than before. It wasn't fair, Virgil thought, that everyone around him could be happy and have someone to depend on while he was alone. Not that there was anything wrong with being alone, but he wished he had someone to care—and maybe love —and for them to cherish him in return. It was such a wonderful thing to think that he'd have someone to return to every day. Perhaps he was destined for an empty house—not the home that he wished he could have.

His mind flew back to Roman's hour note. Why did Roman even write a note? He clearly didn't want to be found or have anything to do with Virgil. Why left a note at all? Some remnants of anger in his chest were beginning to burn back to life. What did he ever do to Roman that he was detested? He stared at his hands, curling them into fists to stop them from shaking out of bitterness. He thought he'd had enough of the world, but he didn't want to stop living. Yet at the same time, his heart was too heavy to keep on going.

'Why am I here? I should have known I'd be left alone. Yes, I wanted to see if my—my friends were okay, but... Why does the world loathe me? Did I do something in my past life that made me feel like everything here is a punishment? Is it so wrong that I just want something to live for? It doesn't even have to be a person. Why can't I ever find anything that makes me happy and glad?'

Letting out a deep breath, he grabbed a bar of chocolate from the table. He ignored the unpleasant burn in his stomach when he saw a glimpse of Patton giving Logan a peck. His phone was no longer able to distract his mind from his thoughts. Soulmate was such a puzzling thing now that Virgil thought more on it. Clearly the universe made mistakes in the past before given the many numbers of failed relationships in the world. Did the universe make another mistake with him and Roman?

----------

"It's... it's weird, you know. I'd never see him again—my dad. The last time I saw him was a few days before the—the accident. After he—he passed, my mom just went... y'know." Damien spoke with his arms still around Remy's rigid form. He hadn't had the opportunity to talk about his father properly—especially not with his brother since Patton would get overly emotional afterwards. With his mother abandoning them alone, Damien felt like everything was crashing in front of him. Of course, he didn't forget Patton was grieving just like he was, but Patton still had Logan. It was odd and uncomfortable for him to discuss emotional subjects with Remy. "And I haven't seen my mom in weeks. I want to see her. And dad, too. I just need a break from everything, but the world won't stop.

"And then there's you."

"Me?" Remy finally said after his long while of silence. Did he upset Damien? "What did I do?"

"That's not what I meant. Let's not pretend like we're not still so—so weird around each other. I really want to make this right... if you know what I mean."

Remy twisted himself away. What was Damien trying to do? He wasn't ready for this. He didn't think he would ever be prepared. Not after the hell he was in before. He didn't need another dip into the frigid water of a cold relationship—one where no passion burns. The memories of the blows and hits and kicks came back in a flash, making him shrink away from Damien. No; he didn't need this—not now anyway.

"You don't have to make it right," Remy said, replacing his sunglasses to veil his eyes once again. "It doesn't have to be anything."

Damien had been seeing this a lot lately. Remy had become someone so serious without the sassy storm he was more acquainted with. He furrowed his brows, biting his lips in agitation. Maybe he should sort himself out first before he could support Remy with whatever it was his soulmate was hiding. He gave himself a slight nod of "yes, I can do that."

"Can you come here for a sec?" Damien said with a side smile, forgetting the tension that lingered around them.

"Geez, gurl, whaaaat?" Remy drew out his word with a roll of his eyes.

"Just—" Damien gathered Remy into another hug, this one more firm and sure.

"You said you don't like my hugs!"

"Shut up, Russian dude," Damien mumbled. "Just let me have this."

----------

He pulled out the bulky and worn brown leather album from its place in the cramped cabinet. It had been sitting inside for the last six years, not touched or seen. He placed it on the floor next to him, ignoring the childish handwriting that posed as the label on the cover—his own handwriting when he was four or five. Opening the album would mean reopening a festering wound that never really healed right. Why did he even opened the old cabinet in the first place? He had the whole afternoon and evening all to himself, might as well do something fun. Well, that's what he thought earlier, and now he discovered something he didn't ever want to see.

He looked at the label again—it was written with a red marker, which was his favorite color. He traced the letters delicately, letting the memories of his childhood came one by one in a slow motion of a timeline in his head. It was a perfect childhood if he had to say so himself. Being an only child with an overactive imagination meant that he was always entertained despite being alone. There was always a dragon-witch to slay or a princess to save or a prince to woo. Being heroic was his brand.

He read the label over and over, not digesting its meaning even though he'd read it a thousand times.

MADRE, PADRE Y ROMAN.

**********

I couldn't wait until Sunday, so here it is. Sooo... Logan and Damien finally asked their respective soulmates some interesting questions there. What do you think? Especially with Damien and Remy's tension.

Quick question: What do you think will happen with Patton and Logan? Will they get together quickly or will they take their time? Let me know what you think.

I hope you found this to be an interesting read. Let me know on anything you think I could improve on. I'm ALWAYS open to critics! That's it from me now, see ya in the next one!
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Russian stuff (let me know if you spot a mistake!):
milashka
милашка
[cutie]

мой милый
Moy milyy
[my precious; my dear]
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Spanish stuff (again, point out my mistakes):
Madre
[mother]

Padre
[father]