-CHAPTER TWENTY ONE -

Triss' POV

There it was.

Right in front of me, a tall grey building. The third floor.

Please say it held my dreams and didn't destroy them instead.

I hitched up my bag, wondering whether I'd picked out the right pictures. I had taken the one I had drawn before talking to Jake, the one of the boat at sea, a drawing of a wilted rose breaking up with Tony had inspired, an abbey on the top of a hill and a riverside. Now I was thinking about it I should have taken the one in the living room, but I couldn't take it away when mum loved it so much. Maybe it would be the only thing she would have to remember me by, all those paintings I had left behind.

I swallowed a lump in my throat. They would just sit there, gathering dust forever and there was really nothing I could do. A painting graveyard. Jake was right, it was sad, it made me feel like crying. So I did prefer my paintings to people. But then again I would destroy them all if it meant spending a perfectly ordinary life with Jake, I would give my soul for that.

But perfectly ordinary didn't work anymore.

I walked towards the building, nearly getting run over by one of the millions of taxis that swarmed this city. I wrapped my coat around myself tighter and stared up at the building in awe. As I walked across the pavement I felt people watching me again and I shuddered, wishing I was safe and half wishing Jake was next to me, he wouldn't let anyone touch me if he was here, but-

But no.

Triss you don't need him to live. You know you don't.

I just wished I didn't have to make the choice.

I pushed on the steel door and walked into the warm hallway. I took of my coat and walked straight into the first floor toilets, straightening down my clothes. A white blouse and black jeans, then nervously flattened down my hair. Did I look like a scared kid, or an up and coming artist?

You can do this.

I walked out and got into the elevator, there were two men and a woman inside dressed in suits and towering above me a bit. I stood at the edge nervously and pressed the button and I knew they were all wondering what the hell I was doing here. When it opened on my floor I was happy to walk out into a small reception. I walked up to the desk and a blond woman looked up at me.

'Yes?' she said.

'Umm, I came here to get an appointment' I said, fiddling with my nails.

'Right' she handed me a slip 'you do have the fee, don't you?'

'Uh huh' I said.

'Okay, fill this out and you have a short wait.'

'Okay' I sat down and filled it out with shaking hands, barely even reading what I was signing then I handed it back to her. She smiled coldly and I sat down again, biting my nails and fidgeting. Trying not to think about the things that my mind was desperate to dwell on, I couldn't understand why though. Maybe if I thought about them I would realize just how insane this plan was.

Don't think about it then, my mind's sultry voice whispered and I leant back in my chair, staring at the blank white ceiling. The short wait took nearly two hours in the end, by which point I was mind numbingly bored because I had somehow managed to shut off my mind.

'You can come through now' said the woman, pointing at a door. I walked towards it and into an office, two men were sat at a desk at once end and I found myself shaking as I walked in.

'Hey, I'm Derek' said one of them, in a friendly voice 'this is my business partner Harry' the guy next to him nodded.

'Hi. I'm Tri- I mean Felicity Sillver' I said, correcting myself and trying to smile. 'Umm... what do I do?'

'That's about it from you, but we want to see your stuff' he said.

'Oh right' I put my bag on the floor and took out the canvases then walked over and handed them to him. They looked at them, with a look of surprise on their faces. Harry said something to Derek who looked up at me.

'These are really good' he said.

I smiled properly then. Really good?

'We'll definitely be able to set you up with an art dealer' said Harry 'but we need a small charge for that.'

I swallowed a lump in my throat. 'Charge?'

Derek looked up 'yeah. Just a small one. Another two hundred dollars, distribution fee.'

'But I already gave you two hundred dollars' I said evenly.

'Yeah. That was an interview fee.'

'I don't have any more money' I replied.

Harry looked surprised 'we can't help you then' he said.

'What?' I demanded, angrily even though I wanted to cry.

'We need that money' he said.

'But, please I need this' I begged.

'We can't help you' he repeated, the words striking daggers in my heart.

I breathed in, fighting the urge to cry 'can I have the two hundred dollars I did pay you back then?' I asked.

'Sorry. You've spent it on the interview' said Derek, and I stared at him in disbelief. He didn't even look like he cared. I shuddered then collected up my canvases, and turned away without saying anything.

'Any luck?' asked the woman at the desk but I didn't look at her, I just walked right past and straight into the elevator, biting my lip until I tasted blood but I couldn't feel anything.

Jake's POV

'Have you seen my girlfriend?'

The receptionist looked up from filing her nails 'maybe, depends who she is.'

'She's blonde, quite small, blue eyes . Called Felicity' I said impatiently.

'Oh right' she smiled 'yeah, I did see her. About a minute ago. She went in to the office but they didn't want her stuff so she ran past and into the elevator. It's probably not at the bottom yet, if you want to catch her or whatever.'

'Are you being serious?' I said, in disbelief.

'No, I was lying because I thought it would be funny' she replied sarcastically and I legged it to the stairs, running down them as fast as I could without falling over or bashing into the office workers using them. Then as I was nearly at the bottom I saw the gleam of golden hair.

'Triss' I called as she disappeared outside without turning back. I ran across the hallway, nearly skidding into the security guard who gave me a confused look and I wrenched open the door. 'Triss' I called again, there was no reply. I saw her hair shimmering again and tried to run towards her, but the streets were packed, and people were looking at me strangely so I slowed to a quick walk about twenty meters behind her. As soon as she turned off I would find her then stop her and take her home.

Then suddenly she disappeared. I stopped, trying to work out where she'd gone. Then people pushed me forwards again and I diverted into an alley at the side, trying to think but only one thought was going across my mind. I'd lost her. Again and forever.