It's so weird to have this feeling. I want to have friends, but talking to people is so hard for me. I just want someone to want to become my friend and to talk to me, but I wouldn't even know what to say to them. It's painful. I hate being alone, but I've secluded myself and caused all of this. It sucks honestly. Being so damn socially awkward and painfully shy. I wish I could do something about that, but I have a bad feeling I never will be able to.