Death like itself is a tragedy that never ends. Stuck in a circle of repetition. She dies, he dies, they die. Never to come back to roam with the living. Until it happened outbreaks of a zombie virus. It felt like something from a movie. The first day a blur of screams and blood. A loop hole was made in the circle people were coming back.

When stuck in a zombie apocalypse, you need thick skin. I already had this before anyone or the everyday person had the slightest idea that a zombie apocalypse would rushing toward us like the running of the bulls. Now I had rhino skin. So thick even the harshest words wouldn't fas me. To watch your entire family die is on a list of unwanted things so is watching myself die and zombie apocalypses. All of these things are happening I feel myself sinking into a deeper sadness. Everyday I reach a new level. I needed anybody, somebody to come pick me up.

"Alison come on." Said my brother Josh as he pointed toward the woods. Everything was familiar. The moon was full, the air was cold, my breath suspended in front of me. A screaming hoard of zombies behind us. The woods in front of me seemed more horrific than the monsters behind.

"Come on!" He said grabbing me.

"I can't." I said putting my hand to my mouth. Tears falling out of my eyes. "I can't do this anymore." I was giving up on everything.

"Not now let's just get to the cabin and then we can talk about this." He got close to me. His grey eyes glittering. They held my heart. He was the only one I cared about and loved. Our parents were gone and it was just us.

"Okay." Drying my tears and wiping my nose. I took his hand and we ran into the woods. My heartbeat became faster with every step. We jumped over logs and ducked under tree limbs. We made to the cabin. Our family cabin, we came out here every summer. It held memories that I will now cherish forever. Inside we locked the door. We leaned against the wall. He smiled at me. He opened his mouth to say something, but then a Z crashed through the window next to him. It grabbed him. The two of them stood in front of me struggling to get each other.

"No god stop it. Alison help." I stood there stunned. He started to cry as he tried to get it off of himself. "Do something." I stood and stared. I had no weapons, what could I do. I felt like I was in a trance as I stared at them wrestling on the floor. A scream snapped me into place. I ran across the room and grabbed a lamp. And smash the Z's skull in. Josh lay on the floor blood everywhere. He was bitten.

"God no please no. First my parents now him!" I scream to the heavens hoping someone was listening. "This is all my fault. I can't do this without you. I get killed you, you have to stay alive." I held him in the arms crying. He reached up with his bloody hand and wiped the tears.

"Hush now. Think as this as a video game. The Z's your enemy you'll have small side missions and you'll have your secondary characters.I bet you can't go five days." He said with a laughing, while he coughed up blood. I tried to laugh along.

"You and your stupid video game references."

"I love you."

"I love you, Joshua."

I jerk awake. I was breathing heavily my heart beating in my chest. For the past few weeks I've had the same recurring nightmare. It was when my brother died last year. The same thing happened when my parents died, but it didn't take as long to start and end. Maybe it was because someone was there to mourn with me and comfort me. When I first told people about what happened they asked what happened after he died. And I would reply the pack of Zs finally caught up and my brother joined them. I was lucky to even make it out alive. They would ask if I gave him mercy and I would say no.

I took deep breathes to calm myself. I stared up at the ceiling of my room. It's plain dark blue walls didn't encourage a happy attitude. Especially since there was a giant blood stain on the wall next to me. Oh how modern decoration has changed. Sunlight shown threw the cracks of the wooden boards that were over the windows. The family that lives in this house before me really went to town on this house. They put boards on every window and boarded up the front door, so the back door was the only way in and out. The basement had a door, which I guess was for an emergency exit, but me being myself will never enter a basement, because I watched to many scary movies as a child. There was an attic where I find myself more than often drinking a bottle of whisky and going through family albums. My own and the other one. The other one had of course a mom and a dad a daughter a son and a dog. The son looked like he had depression issues in most of the pictures they had he wore all black. Not that I want stereotype this boy. I am sleeping in his room. The daughter looked like our everyday slut. Blonde, hair tank top that was a little small, so her boobs fell out, and eyeliner that made her eyes look like raccoon eyes. The father looked like a prick and the mother looked like a whore. She must have been one of those women that had several boyfriends on the side and of course they were way too young for her. She probably slept with her daughters boyfriend the one where they break up but get back together because they can't "live" without each other, or her sons only friend. She went for easy pickings either way.

Now I don't know if this really happened or these people are really like this, you know when you have time to spare you do whatever you can to fill the time.

"Guess I have to fucking get up." Peeling the nasty black comforter off my body. I sulk my way to the door. I yawn then stretch. I go down the hall and into the bathroom. I flip the switch the lights slowly turn on. The only good thing this other family did was install solar panels. I checked the house for amo or even an empty gun. I did find one in my room but it only had two bullets. I look into the mirror.

"Hello gorgeous." I say to myself. My hair a greasy mess it's been awhile since I used the water I save it for drinking and special occasions. "To shower or not to shower. Why not today feels like it's going to be a good one." Taking off my pjs. Yes it's so safe here that I can where my floral print shorts that when I bend over my ass falls out and a large t-shirt. Oh to be me. Turning the water on I let it warm, or be more than freezing.

"You know what will go great with a shower. Some music." I walk naked back to my room and go into my bag taking my old phone and beats pill (which is speaker the shape of a pill). "What to listen to? How about taking it back to the teenage days and letting innerfangirl flag fly." I switched on one direction the song "History" came on. I wash my thick black hair and dusted body.

"You and me got a whole lot of history!" I sing into a soap bottle. After ten minutes of screaming song lyrics I got out. "Ugh I guess I have to get dressed don't I." I take a disgusting white towel that had black mystery stain on it and wrapped around myself.

"You and me got whole lot of history." I whisper to myself. "Damn it, now I have it stuck in my head. Oh One direction you and fucking catchy songs." In my suicide room I open one of the drawers of my dresser. "What to wear?" As I stare at one outfit. "Oh I guess the usually." I roll my eyes at myself. The distant sound of "You and I" playing in the background. Zayn's high note still gets me. I braid my hair quickly so it will stay out of the way as I put on my clothes. First my underwear all stained from period blood and whatever crap. Then my bra, which I think I need a bigger size yay moving up in the world. Socks go on. I struggle to pull on my jeggings. Yes, I was cursed to wear jeggings for the rest of my entirety. Not saying there bad, but they do rip easy. Finally I put on a shirt that says how you doin' with Joey Tribbiani's outline. That's one of the things I miss about the pre apocalyptic world. I could chill on the couch eat chips and binge friends. Now I'm lucky if I hear the name Joey.

I start to busy myself, which means finding my bottle of whiskey and going up in the attic. I changed the music to Beyoncé. The song "Drunk in love" came on.

"This is my shit right here." I rummage through boxes and find one I haven't looked through yet. "We be all night!" I open the bottle and start to drink my liquid courage. I open the box it's Christmas decorations. It's filled with ornaments. One like babies first ornament and babies first time at the beach. Others were plastic ones from Walmart probably. Sip after sip slowly I became intoxicated. Until I black out.

"Hey this ladder is down wonder if someone's up there." A older voice said. The voice didn't scare me it hurt my ears. I didn't open my eyes I could feel the sunlight beaming down on me from the single window in here. I still had the bottle in my hand. I gripped it a little tighter in case I had break against someone's head.

"Go check up there, Doc. I'll behind you in case something happens." A female voice said. There is more than one shit this going to be fun. "Doc" I presume is a nickname starts to climb the ladder.

"Well, shot it's a girl up here." He crawls into the attic.

"She dead?" He walks toward me. I relax my muscles. He's on other side of the room. With the small time I have I slowly search with my hand for a knife that I remember that I put in here. I feel the handle and I just rest two fingers on it. The first thing that hits me is the smell of him. He smells like a dead carcass with a hint of weed. He bends down, putting two fingers in my neck.

"Nah, she's alive. Whoa ho, but she's drunk!" Taking the bottle from my hands. "The bottles almost empty. It might be a while until she wakes up."

"Okay. Should we move her downstairs, so she doesn't try kill us. Who knows where the weapons are in this house?" I can tell you that right now. There is a shotgun under my bed, a hand gun under the couch, in every other cabinet, a rifle is in between the wall and the refrigerator, and knives scattered around the house.

"Yeah maybe can you get 10k up here to help me."

"Okay." I hear footsteps walk away and go down the steps.

"Hey, you do you mind if I have a sip? No? Why thanks!" As quick as I can I take the knife and throw it. I miss his head by an inch. Startled he let go of the bottle it dropped, and I caught it.

"I do mind." I slowly got up. The headache had entered and nothing was going to stop it. He didn't talk, I mean what are you going to say to someone that could have killed you. Bottle in hand I examine the man in front of me. He was dirty of course. His fully white hair went down to his shoulder curling toward the ends. The middle of his frontal lobe area was bald. He had a beard to match the hair, long with grey tuffs in a sea of white. He wore a plain green shirt with a flannel that had no sleeves and jeans. I took a swig from the bottle, then grabbed the knife by his head. Slip it into my back pocket.

"Alison." I put my hand out.

"Doc." He takes it, his grip is strong. He started to laugh off the situation that just happened. "You're one hell of a knife thrower! Who taught you?"

"My uncle he worked in a circus. He was a knife thrower."

"Well you were taught well."

"Thanks." This is my first interaction with a person in a little more than six months, and I was doing fucking horrible. We stood there for a second then Beyoncé broke the silence. "Oh crap." I got down and rummaged through the box I was looking through. Later I guess I found table clothes or something, because I don't remember taking this. I go through it and my speaker was at the bottom. "Halo" started blaring, well it was blaring to me. I turned it off. My phone was on the floor where I had passed out, I shut it off.

"Sorry, I forgot to turn this off."

"It's fine I haven't heard music of any kind in a while. How do have a phone that works?"

"I have electricity from the solar panels on the roof."

"You have electricity!" He yells in excitement, which makes me whence.

"Yeah."

"Doc you okay up there." A male voice calls.

"Yeah kid the little princess woke up from her drunken slumber. We'll be down in a second."

"Okay."

"How many people do you guys have in your group?"

"Other than me six." I laugh a little

"And you haven't killed each other yet?"

"Nah, two of the group split up from us. Since you know the whole Zunami thing."

"What the hell is a Zunami?"

"A huge herd of Zs are coming from up north and heading down south." I scoff

"In the middle of fucking Kansas? There's not a Z for miles."

"Well your wrong, Princess."

"Okay, I believe you." I surrender to the thought that there is a faint hoard of zombies coming toward us. At this point anything could be possible.

"Come on let me show you to the rest of the guys."

"Lead the way." I put my arm out and allow him to go in front of me. I drop the whiskey bottle in box of cloths. He goes down the ladder first. Then I go, he stands behind me making sure I don't fall off and crack my head open. When I'm down I close the hatch the ladder folding with it.

"They're all down in the living room." He rushed down. He seemed a little too excited to show me to his friends. Oh god what if they are cannibals and I'm there next meal. Good job to me not fucking thinking things through. I hesitate at each step trying to quickly think of a plan. There is no way out front door doesn't work. You have to go through the living room to get to the kitchen where the back door is, and I'm not going through the basement. Plus I would leave all my stuff behind, which I can't do.

"Oh come on no ones going to bite." Doc stood at the end of the stair encouraging me after being on the fifth step I could look into the living room. There stood two men and two women. Most of them looked threatening or at least semi threatening. They don't seem to have the I'm doing pin you down and eat you alive kind of vibe. I step a little faster but still hesitant. Once I step onto the creaky oak floor I expect for everyone to run toward me and tackle me. Nothing. Doc puts his hands on my shoulder and somewhat pushes to his group as if I were his puppy that he brought in for show and tell.

"Guys this is Alison." They stare at me. I feel a like a horse that's being inspected, these people are thinking of buying me. Is she fast enough does, she jump well, what about hygiene? Of course maybe not all of these are going through their heads.

I fixate on the woman in front of me. She's black looks about in her thirties. She looks like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders. Like she has to do something important. She stands in the middle of them all, but more forward than the rest. Maybe the leader. My eyes then go to the other girl who stands to the right of her. First impression one word, stunning. Drop dead gorgeous. She looks columbian or from somewhere south of the border. Her look says timid, but her eyes say I will slice you in half.

"Lieutenant Roberta Warren Missouri national guard." The leader steps closer to me, her hand out. I take it.

"Alison, but you course already know that." She chuckles a little. I just smile.

"That's Cassandra." She points to the other girl, she smiles awkwardly. "That's Murphy." When I see him I was taken aback a little he closely resembles a Z, but he still was a man. I don't let my face show this emotion.

"Hi." He says waving with his arms crossed

"Hi." I squeak.

"And that's 10k." 10k was a younger boy maybe in his teens. The first thing that caught my attention were his eyes. They were filled with sorrow and grief, but his body didn't show it. He stood tall rifle in hand not talking. He just nodded at me.

"Okay then. Uh well since you guys kinda broke into my house I might as well you know treat you to food."

"You have food?" Cassandra asks.

"Yeah." I look over at the kitchen. "Do you want something to eat?"

"If it isn't a bother." Warren said interrupting Cassandra.

"No of course not I have enough food for twenty more people for the next year. Maybe an over exaggeration, but you get the point." I walk over to the kitchen. I open one of the cabinets there they stood shellshocked by the amount of stale cereal boxes I have.