It felt like I was wrapped in a heavy blanket that was too warm to endure but at the same time too comforting to get out of. But for some reason, I felt uncharacteristically cold. I snuggled closer to the source of the warmth, letting out a content sigh when I found the most comfortable position only to be jerked awake by a shrill sound.

My fight-or-flight instinct kicked in and I started flailing my hands and legs to get out of whatever was holding me down. My elbow hit something hard and something hissed in pain.

"Jesus, Evelyn. Calm down," Atlas' raspy voice came from behind me. Oh. Oh.

Memories of last night came flooding in, making me settle down. Fuck I slept like dead. So much that I forgot where I was and with whom.

I turned to face Atlas who looked adorably grumpy with his hair tousled and cheeks puffed from sleep. "Were you trying to run?" he asked.

"No." That was exactly what I was trying to do. Although unconsciously.

Atlas narrowed his eyes at me. Sighing exasperatedly, I shrugged. "I was just startled because of the noise. That's all."

He studied my face for a bit and I gave him what I hoped looked like a sheepish smile. He flopped back on the pillows, pulling me along with him. "I forgot to turn off the alarm. Go back to sleep. It's just 6."

I wanted to. After the day I'd had yesterday with the game, Davidson, and everything else that followed, I was exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to curl up beside him and sleep till noon.

But I couldn't do that. My mind wasn't running on rampant hormones anymore. With my emotions tamed and my logical brain taking the wheel again, I knew I had stayed way more than I should have. If staying was right the choice in the first place.

I needed to leave. Now.

"I should go," I said. Atlas met my gaze and the concerned look on his face urged me to explain myself further. "I'd told Veena I would be back late and not to wait for me. I should go back when she's still sleeping so she wouldn't suspect us."

He pursed his lips and his fingers flexed on my side as if debating whether to listen to reason or keep me here. But then he sighed and released his hold. "Yeah. You wouldn't want anyone to know about us," he said with a small smile.

His words pinched my heart. He was smiling and his tone was casual but something felt off. I decided to think about it later when I was alone and in the comforts of my room, and not in a hurry to save my lying ass.

I started looking for my clothes which weren't as hard to find as the last time I was making an abrupt exit. Atlas sat up on the bed, his back against the headboard and the sheets rumpled around his waist. His eyes followed my movements, making me more flustered.

Once dressed fully, I ran my fingers through my hair to tame it as best as I could and walked back to the bed. "I'll see you later," I said and leaned down to kiss Atlas on the cheek.

As I started to back off, he grabbed my hand and pulled me close again, kissing me right on the lips. He cupped my jaw, deepening the kiss and I melted under his touch. Did he have to be such a good kisser?

We parted with a gasp and he ran his thumb over my lower lip which felt swollen again. "See you later," he said, smiling. This time it was a genuine smile that eased my previous worry.

Nodding, I snuck out of his room after waving him goodbye. The hallway outside was empty with everyone fast asleep in their rooms. Maybe I could go back to sleep too and then when Veena woke up, I could pretend to have returned after midnight. That would work.

The elevator and the hallway on my floor leading to my room were in the same deserted state. I briskly walked to my door and halted. Sweat collected in my palms as I fumbled with my key. The door creaked when I pushed it open and I cringed on the inside, praying that Veena didn't hear that.

With sweaty hands and a thumping heart, I pushed the door a little wider and swiftly got inside, immediately closing it with a soft click. That was easy. A little nerve-wracking but easy. I could do it—

"Where were you?"

My shoulders stiffened at the voice. It was the feeling I got when my grandma used to catch me coming home late. Slowly—almost robotically—I turned around to see Veena standing in the middle of the room with her hands on her hips.

She was still in her baby blue pajamas, her long hair that was tied in a braid had come undone, the dark strands framing her face. For the tiny woman she was, she looked extremely intimidating when her eyes were narrowed on you like that.

When I didn't respond immediately, she continued her monologue. "Do you know how worried I was when I found your bed empty when I woke up? You didn't even leave any messages about your location. I was this close to waking Tyler and others up to start a search party."

She glared at me, making me shuffle on my feet. "I'm sorry. I was uh..." No point in hiding it anymore. Better to come clean. "I was with Atlas," I said in a rush.

"You were with Atlas! You were with— What?" Veena's eyes bulged out of their sockets, getting as big as saucers.

I offered her a small smile. "I was with him and I forgot to text you."

"What were you even doing this late with him?" she asked, her hands twisting her braid. Heat spread across my cheeks and I averted her gaze. Things seemed to click in Veena's head as she inhaled sharply. "Oh. Oh."

I shut my eyes, embarrassment flaming my entire face. "So you two are like..." she trailed off and I looked at her to see her holding the index fingers of both her hands pressed together. It was quite comical that she couldn't even say the word.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "We aren't together like that but we are... you know... together."

She tilted her head at me. "You aren't together but are still together?"

I groaned, covering my face. "You can say we are FWBs."

Saying it aloud felt more embarrassing than it should have. Especially in front of Veena. She was very open-minded but she was also brought up in a culture that was more conservative and didn't take things like these well.

"FWB?" Veena repeated, her head tilting further.

"Friends with Benefits." Spelling it out didn't help my case but I continued anyway. "Like the ones you read in your romance novels. I remember you telling me about that one book—"

"Okay. Yes! I understand," she interrupted, her face bright red. It brought a smile to my face. She was the most blunt person I'd ever met and yet she blushed at the mere mention of any sort of intimacy.

"So you and Atlas are...like that. Since when?" she asked.

I needed to sit for this talk. So I walked over to my bed and plopped down. Veena followed my lead and sat on her bed, facing me.

"About two months ago. After the project started," I said.

Then I spilled everything that I had kept to myself all this time. Beginning from the locker room incident to the party to our fight to last night, leaving the explicit details of course. I didn't want my shy friend to combust.

Veena sat in front of me completely enraptured, hanging onto every word. Her expressions changed comically every time I said something slightly scandalous. Once I was finished, she didn't say a word and just stared at me. Having her dark eyes so intensely set on me was unnerving.

"Okay," she said finally after a long beat of silence.

"Okay?" I repeated. "Just okay?"

She shrugged. "I mean, you two are consenting adults. You definitely know what you two are doing. As long as you both are on the same page about this whole...situation, I don't see a problem."

It was my turn to stare at her. I wasn't expecting her to take this so well. In fact, I wasn't expecting any acceptance at all. I had fully imagined her telling me how wrong I was for doing this after all the time I'd spent hating him.

"What?" she asked when I kept staring at her.

"You're not going to tell me that this is a mistake?"

"Who am I to decide what's right and wrong? As long as you are happy, I'm happy," she said with the softest smile, and a lump formed in my throat. "Besides, Atlas and you don't fight like children anymore which is great. I think this is good for both of you."

She laughed then, said something about how I'd tamed Atlas in a way that made me laugh too. But deep down, I wasn't sure how good this was for me anymore.

***

The studio smelled like freshly brewed coffee.

April was fawning over the newly bought coffee machine like it was her baby while Noor and Mark fed into her enthusiasm with their own praises for the metal box. Derek was giving them the stink eye from his desk while Veena, Tyler, and Samantha sat at the round table where we were supposed to have a meeting.

It was the Tuesday after the away game and we had a lot of work to get to but apparently discussing the wonders of the new coffee machine took precedence.

Sighing, I walked over to the table with my binder. "Is someone going to stop them from going gaga over the coffee? It's just a damn coffee."

"It does taste better than the instant coffee we used to have," Tyler remarked as he took a sip from his cup.

I shook my head at him and turned to the others. "Can we start the meeting? It's already 4:30!"

"Yes, boss!" Mark saluted me and marched over to the table, making a show of tipping his imaginary hat towards me. April and Noor followed suit and took their respective places at the table.

Which only left Derek. Ugh! I really didn't have the time for this.

Pursing my lips, I glanced at Derek who was still at his desk. He met my gaze but didn't make a move to get up. God, this man!

"Derek. Can we start the meeting, please?" I hoped my face didn't betray my sweet tone. I felt anything but sweet towards him.

"Fine," Derek drawled, slowly standing up. "After all, your word is final here, isn't it?"

I bit my lip to keep in the snarky remark hanging from the tip of my tongue. Going into verbal combat with Derek won't help my case. He was going to act like a stuck-up bitch and I had made my peace with it.

So, I took a deep breath and smiled once everyone was settled. "Let's begin."

We went over the weekend game, discussing what content was already posted on our various platforms and what was to be posted next. Then we reviewed our analytics to see what was working well for us.

"You do realize we cannot just focus on the hockey team and have other things to cover too, right?" Derek piped in with a raised brow.

"Of course, Derek. I was getting to it," I said, rolling my eyes before switching the slide on my laptop, showing the plan for the other sections.

Halfway through, there was a knock on the door and we all turned to look. The Dean poked her head inside with a bright smile on her face. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Of course not," Samantha said, getting up from her chair, followed by the others.

Out of all of us, Samantha was the closest to the Dean. So while she welcomed her inside, we all stood there awkwardly smiling. Except for Derek who had his poker face on.

"Oh good," the dean said as she stepped inside, her black pumps clicking against the tiles. Today she was wearing a crisp gray skirt suit set with her dark hair tied neatly in a bun. She looked like the epitome of professionalism and I got this sudden urge to smoothen the wrinkles on my faded jeans.

"I just thought to check up on you guys and how everything is going on. I heard you went to the away game with the hockey team?" She glanced in our direction, the perfect smile intact on her face.

"Evelyn and a few of us went there," Samantha said and looked over at me.

This was my opening. I needed to say something and take charge of the conversation as the new lead but all that came out of my mouth was, "Yes. We did. It was fun."

I heard a collective sigh coming from my side.

It wasn't like I had never conversed with the dean. I had. A handful of times. But it was before I was appointed as the next media team lead. Now whenever I had to speak with her or around her, I always felt conscious. As if I would be judged and graded for every syllable that came out of my mouth.

"That's good to hear," she said. I wasn't sure if she didn't notice my awkwardness or took pity on me and ignored it. Either way, I was grateful. "How's the project coming along?"

"We were just about to brainstorm what we could do next," I said, smiling when my voice didn't waver. "Would you like to join us? We would love some input."

"I would love to," the dean beamed.

Samantha threw a thumbs up in my direction as we readjusted our chairs to put one more for the dean. Once we were settled, I resumed the meeting from where we had left. Ideas were thrown in from left and right, everyone wanting to be heard while the dean watched us like a silent observer.

Even Derek had suddenly become extra passionate about the project when a little while ago he couldn't have cared less.

"I think we could make some content related to the exams. With the semester exams approaching soon, it would be fun to show how the athletes dealt with exams along with the sports," I suggested. "I feel our audience can relate to that."

"Maybe we could even make it a bit funny. Our reels and posts have more shares and saves that have a comical element," Noor added.

The rest of them agreed and then Derek opened his mouth. "That's kind of lame and repetitive. Don't you think all accounts that are somewhat related to university life and studies are going to post the same stuff?"

"That doesn't mean we can't do the same. Staying up to date with the trends is what has helped our accounts grow," I replied in an even tone.

We continued our verbal volley about my idea for a few more minutes and my patience started running low with every word Derek spat. He was doing it purposely to make me look inept in front of the dean. He had his calm and collected facade on but I didn't miss the slight twitch of his lips when my voice rose an octave.

"I have a better idea to present if you let me," he said finally getting to what he must have wanted to say from the start.

"Of course. Please. The stage is yours," I said.

Derek smirked as he opened his laptop for the first time. "I was thinking more along the lines of educating the audience about the game and the rules. Right now our audience is divided into those who are genuinely interested in the game and the ones who are just there because the guys are good-looking."

Touché. He did have a point.

Seeing there was no objection to his idea, he continued. "At this rate, we will turn into a fan page for the guys. If we want to attract genuine hockey fanatics, we need to shift the focus from the guys to the game. I made a few mockup posts that we could make if we decide to follow this route."

He turned his laptop towards us showing brilliant mockup posts using the team's brand colors. This was probably the most effort Derek had put into something. And I hated to admit that it truly was amazing.

"I think it's a great idea and you already have some foundation that you could build on," the dean spoke for the first time as she gestured towards his laptop screen.

The entire table's attention shifted towards me then, waiting for me to speak. As much as I hated that Derek had successfully shot down my idea and managed to look good in front of the dean at the same time, I couldn't refuse that his idea was great. And I had to give it to him for that.

With a deep breath, I unclenched my fists under the table and smiled. "I like it too. Why don't you work with Tyler to get some shots of the guys the way you feel would look the best? Since it's your idea I think you should take charge of this segment."

Derek's eyebrows shot up to meet his hairline but he managed to nod. Tyler looked at me concerned while Veena raised a brow in my direction. I was shocked as well but it is what it is.

Dean smiled and stood up. "I think you all are going in a good direction. I'm happy to see you all work so well," she said. "I have a meeting to attend so I'll take your leave. All the best guys."

We bid her goodbye and the team immediately got to work with Derek in the center while I watched from the sidelines. The more I watched the more my stomach sank. Maybe I was the imposter in this all along and I was just playing a part that didn't belong to me in the first place.