I read this idea somewhere but I don't remember where or when. So, if the person who mentioned this in their story reads this, then you can tell me and I will credit you :)

Imagine Thorin and Gloin talking about their wives.

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"And I thought no one could ever be worse then Gloin" Dwalin growled. He leaned against the wall of the dining room. The company ate together every night even now that Erebor was reclaimed. It just felt right to stay together like that.

They did went their separate ways during the day.

Bifur and Bofur had their toy shop. Now that wood was traded again they were able to make their crafts and sell them to the children of Dale.

Other shops were beginning to arise as well. The market had started again last week. More and more dwarves were finding their way back to their home.

And so did the wife of Gloin.

The wife that he had to tell everyone about. By now the whole company felt like they already knew here before they had even met her. They had heard his stories often so many of them were able to tell them all by themselves. And it wasn't even their wife!

It was a bit of a joke amongst the company at this point.

At least it had been before Thorin and you became a couple a well.

The king also ignored the stories of Gloin whenever he talked about his wife again. He knew that he missed her and he knew what a marriage meant to dwarves. But couldn't he stop talking about her for just a minute?

Dwalin and him used to joke about it when the dwarf wasn't nearby. Or you could say that Dwalin made the jokes and Thorin tried to maintain his majestic composure.

All had been fun and jokes until Gandalf brought a certain lass into the company.

Thorin was smitten right away. Dwalin saw it. Balin saw it.

Of course there king ignored it at first.

Until the day you had almost died. Thorin had started yelling at you as soon as you were safe.

Not because he was angry at you because it really wasn't you fault. But you could have died. His heart had stopped beating when he saw you laying on the ground, the orc raised is blade...

"Maybe they will give up in a few minutes" Kili offered.

The elders huffed in annoyance.

"Nothing will make them stop lad. Has Gloin ever stopped talking about his wife without us having to shove a potato into his mouth?" Nori said. His head was resting on his hands as he watched the show unfold.

And he was probably right. The two male, 'adult', dwarves were now standing while they were shouting at each other. Trying to make clear that their wife was the best, the most beautiful and the loveliest. How dare the other suggest that his wife was better?

The door to the dining room opened and a flustered hobbit appeared in the doorway.

Dwalin gestured for the hobbit to come closer. The small man hurriedly did so.

"What is going on?" he asked, his eyes wide in bewilderment. "Are they fighting? I only left for a few minutes and it looks like they are ready to kill the other" he added.

Dori chuckled.

Bilbo looked at him like he had lost his mind. "May I ask what is so funny?" he asked.

The dwarf shook his head, still smiling. "You have been with us for so long that I sometimes forget you don't know everthing about dwarves. That is my mistake" he explained without explaining anything.

"What is it that I don't know?" Bilbo asked confused.

Dwalin pointed at the scene in front of them. "Male dwarves tend to argue about who has the most beautiful, wisest-"

"most desirable, funniest wife" Balin finished.

Realisation dawned on Bilbo. "So, all of this" he said, making circles with his hands, "is normal for your race?"

Nori raised his eyebrows. "Hobbit don't stand up for their wives?"

The other dwarves also looked confused.

Bilbo huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "We don't feel the need to compare them to each other" he said.

"We don't compare them to each other" Dwalin said. Apparently it was offending to even suggest such a thing. Bilbo still had a lot to learn about dwarves.

Balin put a comforting hand on the hobbit's shoulder. "We value our woman because there are few. Most of us don't even think about marrying because we are not very likely to run into our One. If they are even on this same earth as us.

When we do find our One, we fall hard and fast. Like you could see when Thorin met (y/n)."

Bilbo looked at the dwarf king as his face was starting to turn red.

"And once our heart is stolen we won't ever stop loving that person. They become very important, if not the most important person that is walking on this planet." Balin showed him a smile. "Male dwarves start off with simply telling others about their wife."

"Like Gloin did regularly on the quest" Bilbo offered.

"Regularly? You mean all the time?" Nori asked without taking his eyes off of the two dwarves who were still in a shouting match.

Balin nodded. "Aye, we all remember that master Nori." He looked back at Bilbo. "It gets out of hand rather quickly from that point on, I am afraid. Because our One is our whole world, the males sometimes forget that others don't see their wife in the same light as them."

"Not that they would live for much longer if they did feel the same" Dwalin added.

"How did this argument start?" Bilbo asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"(Y/N) baked a cake for me today" Thorin announced with a bright smile.

Some members of the company groaned as he had mentioned this a few hundred times during dinner.

Gloin, however, smiled and clapped him on the back. "That is good for ya laddie. My wife baked me a pie once. It was lovely. Just like her."

Thorin brought his ale to his smiling lips. He was so lucky to run into a woman such as yourself. One that could bake cakes like no cake he had ever tasted before. Bombur was a good cook but he preferred his wives baked goods.

"My wife added some delicious nuts to it to give it some extra crunch. She knows what good food is" Gloin continued. He laid his hands on his stomache, closing his eyes, as he remembered what the cake tasted like.

Thorin's mug landed on the table a little harder then necessary. "That may be so but my wife knows how to bake for a king. Everyone would enjoy her food if she would cook for the whole kingdom. She added fresh apples to it, a delicious taste in every bite" Thorin countered.

Gloin opened his eyes, narrowing them when he understood the meaning of Thorin's words. "Are you trying to say that my wife can't bake?"

The king raised a single eyebrow. "I am simply stating that my wife is better at it. That doesn't mean your wife can't bake at all."

"Now you listen to me, king or no" Gloin started, getting up from his chair.

Thorin didn't hesitate. Resulting in the two man almost touching noses as they stared each other down.

"Now, now, is this really something to argue about?" Balin asked with a chuckle. Trying to keep a conversation light was difficult when there were two love-struck dwarves in the room.

Neither backed down.

"Your wives are both great at it. Both cakes had their charm, I wouldn't be able to pick one over the other" Dwalin spoke up. As the baked goods lover, both woman knew who to give a piece of their cake when it was fresh out of the oven.

Not that either woman cared who was 'better' at it. They just wanted to bake something for their man.

For now it calmed both Thorin and Gloin down enough to get them to sit back down.

Who ever thought that this was the end of it, was very, very wrong.

The two males ignored one another for the remainder of dinner. But it did start again when the desert was brought to the table

"I am sure my wife will love this once she gets a taste of this" Gloin says before putting a big spoonful into his mouth.

"Where is your wife anyway?" asked Fili from the other side of the table.

Gloin put down his spoon and put on a proud smirk. "She is out with Gimli, took him to the training grounds today. My woman is fierce. She knows how to raise our son."

Fili now wished he hadn't asked.

Thorin stopped eating. "My wife is helping in the kitchen, preparing the food for the miners. She knows who truly need her help in this mountain. And I am sure that when we are blessed with a child that she will still look out for others."

Gloin's smirk disappeared faster from his lips then cookies did in the presence of Dwalin.

And soon, they were standing again. This time though no one could calm them down.

"(Y/N) has the voice of a nightingale. Nothing can compare to her beautiful voice" Thorin felt the need to point out at some poin in their shouting match.

Gloin fake laughed at this, poking his king in the chest. "Have you ever heard my wife simply speak? The whole room falls silent because of the magic in her tone."

"My wife gets the whole mountain silent by just walkin into it!" Thorin growled. "Her beauty shines through every single crack in here!"

"Hah! Then you have never seen my beauty. Even the elves praised her looks when they laid their eyes upon her!"

"At least my wife knows that elves are to be ignored and not be talked to. You apparenty let her near them. I keep my wife close to me at all times. She is my most precious jewel" Thorin spat.

"Shouldn't we do something to stop them?" Ori said as he watched his king and a friend fight each other with words.

Dwalin showed the small dwarf a tired smile. "No one will be able to stop them but their wives and bedtime. I swear, they are even louder when they are in their own rooms."