And today's request came from aprilxoneil;  I couldn't help but wonder, however, if you write Bard imagines? I can imagine him being really sarcastic and sassy so I was wondering if you could write something for him like that?

Sarcastic and sassy? Muhahahahahaha... Yes, yes I can.

This is supposed to be just an annoying dad version, not a mean dad. So please don't take it that way :)

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Children were supposed to be a real joy. His father had told him that right before he got married.

Whether it was a hint to make lots or, now that he thought about it, a sarcastic saying from his old man, Bard wasn't sure. He suspected it was the latter.

"Maybe he likes you but just as a friend?" Tilda offered.

Sigrid looked at her younger sister with a fierce side-way glance. "Fili wouldn't give me a book if he didn't have an interest in courting me. That is not how dwarves work. Right da?"

For what felt like the millionth time in one hour his daughters managed to drag him into the conversation once again. "Of course not dear" he said, focusing on his own work. There were so many requests he still had to think over.

His eldest daughter sighed in frustration. "That is all you've said every time I asked you something today. Are you even paying attention?"

"Of course dear." His papers were yanked away before his eyes. He looked up to meet his daughter' glare. "What is wrong?" he asked confused. 

"You didn't listen to a word I was saying, were you?" she asked.

Bard surpressed a smile. "It's not like I was busy with work when you asked me those questions. How can it possibly be that my attention is not focused on anything but you?" He got up and opened the windows of his new home. "Maybe I should just tell the villagers that I take a day off to help you with your relationship problems. I am sure they won't mind that.

Dale won't be built for another year or two, quite possibly more than that, but that is alright. I say we can take a break from that. EVERYONE! MAY I HAVE YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTEN-"

He was silenced by two hands that were rapidly placed over his mouth. "Da! Don't do that! Everyone is going to hear you!" Sigrid pulled her father back and quickly closed the windows. "Why did you do that?"

Bard put up his hands. "You wanted me to listen to you. I can't listen to you when other people demand my attention. So I was going to inform them that your love life is more important than Dale being rebuilt. I feel like I have to repeat myself a lot these days" he said, pretending to think.

Sigrid crossed her arms, pouting. "Clearly the future of your eldest daughter isn't important to you?" she snapped.

"Of course it is, and it would be fair if you got some more attention from me."

A smile appeared on her lips.

"On the other hand, it would also be fair if the villagers didn't have to sleep in the rain."

"Da!"

Bard laughed, trying to hug his struggling daughter. "I am sorry. Please tell me what has you worrying so. You have my undivided attention for as long as you need" he said with a warm voice.

Sigrid looked up at him through her eyelashes. "Promised?"

He nodded. "Promised."

She pulled away from him, shoved a stool his way and started her story all over again. "- and that is why I asked Tilda; Why would he give me a book if he isn't interested?"

An elbow between his ribs from his youngest daughter let him know that he was supposed to give a response here. In all honesty, he hadn't heard a lot of what his daughter just told him. He dozed off when he realized this was going to be a long story.

"That is a good question indeed. Maybe he just likes books?"

Sigrid rolled her eyes. "Of course not. Isn't it obvious?"

Bard looked at Tilda for help. She didn't offer him any. "It is quite obvious that he likes books. At the very least he knows where the bookstore is located" he offered.

Sigrid' eyes narrowed. "This is not a joke."

"I am not treating it as such" Bard said earnestly.

His daughter sighed. "Da, really. What should I give him in return? It has to be something good. Otherwise he will think that I am not interested in him. Not that I am. But I don't want him to think that I am not either."

Bard missed the train that was heading towards her thought process. "Give him a book?"

"DA!" Sigrid looked at him with eyes that were more terrifying than the ones of the dragon he slayed.

"I get the feeling that a book is not a good idea" he said, watching her expression change.

Sigrid ignored him and instead went back to pacing. "It has to be something that can make him feel like I want him but doesn't tell him that I want him. Something inbetween. So that he is confused" she thought out loud.

For a moment she stopped, looking out the window with a dreamy expression on her face. "He is so handsome and honest and nice and just so - so -"

"Just so dreamy" Bard ended for her. 

She shot him a warning glare. "Sometimes I miss talking to you Da, you were always very good at listening to me." Now she was trying to get to his emotional side. Every now and then he turned annoying and just afwul for a few hours. Today was one of those episodes.

Bard nodded. "I would miss talking to me too. I am quite fabulous."

Sigrid closed her eyes, counting to ten in her head. "You know, normally you are better than other dads but -"

"You mean all."

She frowned. "Pardon me?"

"You mean better than all dads not other dads" Bard corrected her. He was currently leaning with his head on his hands. 

"I really miss the dad that would just listen to me when I am talking about a love interest!"

"I really miss the loaf of bread old Molly used to bake in her bakery but you don't see me yelling at Smaug' carcass all day long."

"Why do you have to be in this mood today? You are not helping me da! Why can't you just give me advice on Fili?" Sigrid sat down with a sigh. "Think of something that I can give him so that he doesn't know that I like him, which I don't, but makes him think that I might."

Bard watched his daughter in amusement. "Obviously you don't want the person you love to know that you love him. That would make things too easy" he said, summing it all up.

"Exactly... No! Da! Why - You are such a man!" she said, getting more and more irritated.

Bard shrugged. "No, no dear, I get what you are trying to say. Like you said last week; man are not good at picking up subtle details. So what do you do to help them out? You throw more subtle hints their way. Surely he will get it if you shower him in books. Might as well built him a library while you're at it" he offered.

Sigrid stomped her foot on the ground. "THIS COULD BE THE BEGINNING OF THE REST OF MY LIFE!"

"With a person you don't love?" Bard asked. His eyebrows were raised.

Her head was turning red from anger.

"Do you get it Tilda? In my time it was all a lot easier; when you loved someone you told them. And if you didn't than you ignored them. Now you apparently have to let the other person decide whether you love them or not."

"I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM!" Sigrid shouted.

Bard shook his head while Tilda watched, fascinated by the conversation. "We can see that you're not interested dear. It is not like you are putting a lot of thought into this."

Sigrid let out one last frustrated humph before she stormed off into her bedroom. 

"Maybe next time you can throw the door closed a little louder. The answer might just fall from the sky that way" Bard yelled. He really had to try and control his laughter.

"Da?" Tilda asked.

Bard now focused on his youngest daughter. "Yes dear? Do you want some love advice from your old man as well?"

She shook her head violently. "No da, I was just thinking; didn't Fili deliver a letter to you the other day, asking for her hand?"

Bard smiled as he got up to continue on his work. "Yes, yes he did."

"Isn't it a bit mean of you to not tell her?" Tilda asked.

Bard looked at her sideways. "Remember when I asked for your opinion? No? Me neither."