This imagine didn't come from anywhere but was inspired by the last one about the cheeky joke. So this is not really my fault. You should blame the person who came up with the idea for the last one.

Also, there were just too many good jokes on the internet and I stumbled upon a few that made me think of this... You see, this is not at all my fault!

Not my fault either that you have to wait even one more chapter before you can read another chapter of baby Thorin and his companions...

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"We are only watching this if you can behave yourself" you said sternly. You were standing with the DVD 'The littler mermaid' in your hands as you tried to glare at your boyfriend. This time you were serious.

"No sex jokes, no dirty jokes and definitely no Dwalin jokes."

He chuckled. "Lass, I will try, I honestly will try. But I can't promise anything." Dwalin put his hands up. "Dwalin can be good."

"I doubt it he will be" you muttered. Even though you were still quite sure that he wouldn't behave, you bend down to put the DVD in anyway. You had popcorn ready so if he didn't behave himself you could always throw that at him.

He patted on the empty spot on the couch next to him. "I just want one relaxing night with my lassie, watching a movie together. Why would I screw that up?" 

As soon as you sat down next to him, Dwalin pulled you closer to him. Now you were almost sitting on top of his lap. 

"You know we could also just lay down? We will end up that way anyway" you said, pointing out the obvious. You waited for him to lay on his back so that you could lay in between his legs, your head on his chest. 

"What language should we put it on?"

"Dwalin!" you groaned.

He chuckled. "Alright, alright, English it is then."

And for the first few minutes in it was alright. You could feel a light rumble in his chest whenever he was thinking of something naughty. But he didn't say it out loud. 

Dwalin being Dwalin it was only a matter of the right scene or the right quote and he wouldn't be able to control himself.

(Lyrics from 'Under the sea' from 'The little mermaid' from Disney)

"The seaweed is always greener

In somebody else's lake

You dream about going up there

But that is a big mistake

Just look at the world around you

Right here on the ocean floor

Such wonderful things around you

What more is you looking for?

Under the sea, under the sea

Darling, it's better

Down where it's wetter -"

"That is what she said" Dwalin spoke softly.

You reached for the remote before he even noticed himself that he had actually said it out loud this time. "Are you serious? This is a children's movie!" You threw the remote at him. "I can't believe you!"

He caught the remote after it hit him hard in the stomache. "Lass, I am sorry, you know I am." One hand reached up to stroke your back. 

You slapped it away. "Don't 'lassie' me. Sometimes I am just done with those childish jokes. There is a place and a time for them. You just spit them out whenever you feel like it." Feeling slightly upset, you crossed your arms and looked away from him.

He crawled a little closer to you on the couch. Laying the remote safely outside of your reach. "I am truly sorry. When they leave their goals right open I can't help but to shoot" he explained.

You scooted away from him. "No."

"Not even when I do this?" He twitched his nose so that his whiskers were moving with it. 

You often laughed about how it made him look like a grumpy rabbit. Not this time though. 

Dwalin pouted. He laid his head on your shoulder. "Are you really this mad at your bear?" He knew exactly what he needed to do to get you to talk to him again.

He earned himself a sideway glance. "My bear can shove his honey up his ar-"

"Since when does my lassie use that kind of language?" Dwalin subtly tries to lay an arm around you. 

"Not happening." Something on the coffee table caught your eye. "How many of those jokes do you need to tell me before you run out?" You finally look up at him. Hope shines in his eyes. 

But he is also confused. "I don't know. It is not like I have ever counted... Why?" 

You reach forward, grabbing the paper and pencil. "This," you shove the materials in his arms, "is what you are going to use to write all your jokes on. You will tell me all of them when you are done."

He blinks a few times. "All of them?"

"Aye, all of them."

Dwalin stands up, looking like you had asked him something impossible. "But sweety... if I would only have to tell you all my pick-up-lines it would already take a few days."

You sigh. "All I want is to do something with you without you joking. Just one time." You look up at him with pleading eyes. "Maybe if you get it out of your system you can stop and focus your attention on me."

"My attention is always on you sweety."

"Then why do you have so many pick-up-lines?"

"Because I had to come up with a lot to ask you out. I needed to have more so that I could use the perfect one on you." He was looking at you with pleading eyes. Other than the rabbit look, he also had the sad look down to a T. 

Why did he always know how to get back into your heart? 

"Just write the ones down you remember. And after that, we will see if I still want to see this movie with you." 

Dwalin left, looking down over his shoulder to see if you really didn't want him to stay with you.

You did feel bad for sending him away. But this had to be done. At least, that is what you told yourself so that you wouldn't feel too bad about it.

While your boyfriend worked on his list you were texting your friend. You had to do something in the mean time. 

A whopping three hours later he was finally done. 

He dropped a small book on the table in front of you. "This is it." He gestured towards the pages. "Do you want me to tell you all of them or do you want to read it?"

"How much time did it take you before you asked me out?" All those pages... Did he really write all of that down for you? The pages felt heavy in your hands. Dwalin wasn't a boyfriend who kept quiet about what he felt for you. But this, you didn't know.

He awkwardly put a hand behind his head, rubbing his hair. "I- Maybe a few days." His eyes went to the pages. "Or a couple of weeks."

You smiled. "You prepared weeks before you asked me out?"

"Aye. I didn't want to risk losing the most special woman I had ever laid my eyes on."

Simply unfair.

You dropped the pages, put a foot on the coffee table and jumped in his arms. Dwalin was a quick man so luckily for you he caught you and spun you around. "We are alright then?" he asked hopefully.

"Of course we are, doofus." A passionate kiss quickly removed all of his worries. "I still would like to hear some of them though" you added.

Dwalin smiled into the kiss. "That won't be a problem my dear." He carried you to a chair and softly put you down. 

"Only the top 10?" he asked once he had grabbed the list from the couch.

"All of the cute ones." You let your head rest on your hands as you waited for him to begin.

"Alright, this was the first one:

On a scale of 1 to 10; you are a 9 and I am the 1 you need." 

One of your hands dropped to your left chest. "That is so cute."

Dwalin smiled brightly. "Aye, but not good enough for my lassie. So we continued with our list." He straightened the paper a little.

"Did we have class together? I couldv'e sworn we had chemistry." Dwalin wiggled his eyebrows as he said this.

"That is less romantic but still cute. We didn't even meet in school" you said, giggling. 

He shrugged. "It was more the cute laugh I was going for with this one. Like that one."

"Do you mind if I walk you home? My mother always told me to follow my dreams.

Yeah, we all decided this one would be a little too creepy" Dwalin said thoughtfully. His eyebrows had furrowed a little. 

"Aye, but just a little bit. Go on." It was wonderful to hear how much time he had put into asking you out. This was the most romantic thing a man had ever done for you. Even though the pick up lines were incredible cheesy.

"I value my breath so it would be nice if you didn't take it away everytime you walked by.

Don't worry about that one. You always did that when you passed by and I am still here." He looked up at you to smile. "I remember that I would wait outside of my shop just to wait for you to pass me by every morning.

And then one day you didn't."

You reached for his hand. "I didn't because it was the morning where my alarm didn't go off at the right time. And then I had to walk all the way to work because my bike got stolen during the night."

Dwalin nodded. "If it wasn't for that thief I wouldn't have offered to give you a ride."

You stared at each other.

"I am happy your bike got stolen" Dwalin said.

You gently squeezed his hand. "And I still don't have a new one" you said jokingly. 

"No. I am still taking you with me on the back of my motorcycle." He kissed the back of your hand. "I have some more pick up lines for you love."

"Go on" you said sweetly.

"Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?"

He looked up at you.

"Skip."

"I thought so.

I want to be a superhero. Can you guess my name?"

You laughed. "Maybe superman? Or batman? Oh oh! Green lantern!"

"I want to be yourman.

Admit it, that one was really cute. I said something like that after our first date."

You leaned back on the table. "After our first date you walked me all the way to my door. And then you said that I was the woman you were going to marry." The thought felt you with warmth, even after all this time.

"And I did marry you."

"Aye, you did." Maybe the most special feeling of the night was that he still looked at you like he did when he first saw you. It was hard not to feel worshipped by this man.

"Your father is a thief. Because he stole all the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

That one was a little too much. I wanted to keep it classy" Dwalin explained.

"Dwalin..."

"I was wondering if you had an extra heart because mine seems to have been stolen.

That one was very close actually. Wouldn't it have been cute if I would have said that to you?"

"Dwalin" you said again.

He was still too focused on his list. "This one I actually wanted to say to you one morning. Remember? That one morning when I walked up to you and the only thing I could say was 'goodmorning'. 

Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happen once every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you because the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime."

"Dwalin?" 

He finally looked up. "Yes love?"

"There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms."

Dwalin threw his list on the ground, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you as close to his chest as possible. "No more list then?" A soft kiss was pressed against his lips. "I am afraid I must drag you to my cave, my lady."

Wrapping your legs around his hips, you let him carry you upstairs.

"You know, when I get naked, the shower gets turned on."

"Just get us to our bed you goof."