Story requested by Sternrither ; You should write about *Bilbo* visiting Sherlock.

Let's do this.

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"So, this portal just kind of... opened, after midnight?" Bilbo stared at the dark, wide hole that had just opened up in the middle of their camp. There was a strange sound coming from it. Dark, curly swirls of mist clouded the image that seemed to be moving around in the dark pit.

"That doesn't look sound at all" the hobbit said, kicking a pebble towards it.

The stone landed in the middle of the pit. It laid there for a couple of seconds before it slowly started to sink. And then it was gone.

"Yes, I think we should definitely move on and never think about this again" Bilbo concluded. His eyes traveled over the dwarves' face. "Oh bugger."

Thorin stepped forward. "We need someone to go in and find out what, or rather who, is behind this darkness. Someone stealthy. A burglar."

The rest of the dwarves nodded.

Bilbo stared at the blackness. "I have a different opinion."

"That's nice, master Baggins. In you go now" Gloin said.

He sighed, squeezed his hands and stepped slowly forward. The closer he got, the more gurgling noises he could hear erupting from the pit. The black, swirling mist circled his ankles as if it were pulling him in. 

Standing close to the edge, Bilbo leaned forward. In the middle of the darkness, he could see something moving. He wasn't entirely sure what it was. 

He didn't feel the hands on his back that pushed him in before he was already falling head first into the dark pit. For a moment he laid there, flat on his face and cursing under his breath. Very un-hobbit like. He raised his head. The mist started to gather around him.

The shadows crawled towards him, clawed at his clothes and pushed him down into the pit. 

"Wait, wait, wait!" Bilbo screamed.

Fili rushed towards the pit but was stopped by Dwalin. "Maybe he will die!" the prince shouted.

The others looked on, their faces expressionless. 

Slowly, the hobbit disappeared before their eyes. Then, he was gone.

Bilbo held his breath as he sank down into nothingness. He closed his eyes as well. The dark continued on around him. It was endless. His heart pounded in his chest. The only thing he could hear was an even, high tune that hurt his ears. 

"You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. There's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!"

Bilbo hesitantly opened one eye. Was that Thorin? He heard words. Actual words. The ringing in his ears stopped. Somewhere above him, at least he thought it was above him, he could see a light. It was moving away from him.

Right before his eyes, another light popped up. There was an image swimming inside it. It looked like a walking skeleton.

"Doors are for people with no imagination."

Again, someone talking. The light keeped moving, hiding the image that it had showed the hobbit. More lights appeared around him, almost dancing around the hobbit.

"I see that it is by no means useless to travel, if a man wants to see something new."

"If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does."

"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."

"We aim to please Miss Steele."

They danced upwards, out of Bilbo's reach. Just then Bilbo realized that he had been breathing the entire time. He tried moving around, but the substance around him was thick. The lights and images moved through it with ease but he was having trouble.

No matter how much he moved his legs or arms, he stayed in the same place. 

A pressure started to push down on his chest.

"Dear God, what is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring!"

Someone was shouting. Bilbo moved his head a little to look down. Another light was floating upwards.

"Yes, thank you for your input."

The light was getting closer, giving Bilbo a look at the moving images it held. 

"All lives end; all hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage, Sherlock."

Bilbo squinted his eyes. That was not very good advice at all. The light was almost in front of his face now. He saw two man, one with curly, short hair and the other with short, straight hair. 

"A nice murder. That'll cheer you up."

An older looking woman said that to the curly haired man. Bilbo scrunched his nose. The light was moving further up. His hand reached forward, trying to hold unto the light so that he could see more of the images. There was something familiair about that man.

His hand touched the light. The shadows crawled around his arm, pulling the hobbit forward. Bilbo started screaming and only stopped when cool air enveloped him and knocked him down to the ground. He landed on something soft yet still hard. 

He pushed himself up on his hands, looking at the ground below him. There was red beneath him, and green and yellow, curling around. It was a pattern. Hurriedly, Bilbo got back up to his feet. He had landed on a carpet. 

"Curious."

Bilbo jumped a little. There was a very tall man standing right to the left of him. 

The man leaned forward, almost hovering above the hobbit. Bilbo quickly stepped back. He stared up at the man with wide eyes. "Euhm, hello?" He tried smiling. It didn't soften the look on the man's face. 

"Very curious indeed." The man started walking around the hobbit. He was looking him up and down. Subconciously, Bilbo wrapped his coat around him a little more firmly. 

"Excuse me, but this is very rude behaviour. Very rude indeed!" he exclaimed.

The man stopped. Finally, something like a smile appeared on his face. "And what would you call you falling into my living room without any warning?"

Bilbo gasped for air. "Well, that's hardly... I mean, I didn't intend to-"

"So I thought." The man turned sharp on his heels and stalked into another room. Bilbo was left feeling baffled. 

He just stood there, in the middle of the man's living room for about a minute. The growling sound had disappeared. There was no sight of dark, swirling mist. The pit he had gone through seemingly had closed behind him. 

Bilbo walked after the man. "Excuse me. I really have to get back to camp. Can you tell me if we're anywhere close to Bag End?" He found the man opening a sort of cabinet and pulling out some cheese. But before he closed the door he saw- Bilbo blinked. There was a skull in the cabinet.

The man stared at him with a cocked eyebrow. "Bag End?"

Bilbo nodded. He straightened his back. "I'd like to get back to the rest of my company as fast as I can. There are twelve dwarves waiting for me there. And I'll have you know that they are severly armed, so if you try anything funny, they will..." Bilbo stopped to think. "They will seriously threaten you with them" Bilbo concluded with a final nod.

The man laughed, and rushed past Bilbo. He started going through his bookshelves, moving books around here and there. "Where is it?" the man muttered to himself. 

Bilbo slowly walked back into the living room, keeping a distance from the man. "What are you looking for?" he asked. He didn't get an answer. Instead, books started to be thrown his way. He dodged a couple, then took one right on the foot. He breathed in sharply, putting a hand on his back and walking over to the couch. 

"Ah, here it is!" The man jumped excitedly, and started flipping the pages in a rapid fashion. His bathrobe swung around him as he moved through the room. 

He stopped, smiling brightly. He dropped the book down on the coffee table in front of Bilbo.

The hobbit looked down at the book. There was a drawing of a map of Middle-Earth there. On the left side he could see his home: Bag End. Bilbo frowned. "This looks nothing like any map I've ever seen before" he said slowly. The paper was shiny, and smooth. It felt strange beneath his fingers.

"This is fantastic. Interesting. So he finally figured out, didn't he?" The man unrobed himself, dashed into another room.

Bilbo was still looking down at the book. He heard the excited noises coming from the other man in the other room. His own heart sank. With trembling hands, he closed the book 'The hobbit', he read, by J.R.R. Tolkien.

He read the first pages, his eyes widened. This story was about him. And his dwarves. And Gandalf. And Bag End. The book fell down on the ground. "Oh my" Bilbo whispered.

"This is good. This is splendid. This is just what I needed!" The man emerged from the other room. He was dressed in a brown coat that also danced around him, just as his bathrobe had done before. "Master Baggins, are you ready to embark on this adventure?"

Bilbo looked up at the man. He was waiting for the door by him. As if he was waiting for him. "What are you on about?"

The man was silent for a couple seconds. "An adventure of course. And don't say that you don't like them. I know that you have an adventurous streak to you. You say you like to stay at home and be a respectable hobbit, but at the same time you rush after an horde of dwarves without any preparation or means to traveling along with them."

"The truth is, master Baggins, that you have always been someone that longed for adventure, for excitement. And now that it is finally here you are burdened by the opinions of your neighbours. Even though deep down you know that this is a chance you only get, apparently, twice in a life time."

"I promise you that I'm the best detective around. If I can't deduce why you're here, how you came here and how we can get you back, then no one can. So, let me ask you one more time: Are you ready to embark on this adventure?"

Bilbo looked down at the book near his feet. A drawing of something that resembled a hobbit, smiled at him. He met the man's eyes. "I'm ready."

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Quotes used from: 

Charles Dickens - A Christmas Carol

Derek Landy - Skulduggery Pleasant

Jules Verne - Around the World in 80 Days

Lewis Caroll - Alice in Wonderland

A.A. Milne - Winnie the Pooh

E.L. James - Fifty Shades of Grey

Sherlock (BBC)