Just to take a little break from the story that is going on, here is an imagine from imaginexhobbit instead; Imagine Balin telling you a cheeky joke.

It kind of just changed into bad jokes instead of cheeky ones.

This is a small one because of all the longer update-story chapters. A little chapter that can hopefully amuse you until the next story chapter is published. Not because I am an evil author (muhahahahahaha). Oh no.

What made you think that?

There is also a warning for this chapter because of a sexual joke. Only because Dwalin demanded to be in this imagine too... So, warning for adult content.

And then something else happened as well...

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"Are you doing alright?" 

You looked up from behind your hands. You were still traumatized from the conversation with Dwalin so you weren't sure if you wanted to talk to his brother. On the other hand... "I would be doing great if it wasn't for your brother."

Finally, you let your hands fall on your lap. You leaned back against the tree with a loud groan. "Why does he always have to make those kind of jokes? He knows that it makes me blush" you complained.

Balin chuckled, putting his hands in his sides. "Aye, and that is probably the reason why he keeps telling them."

"Not helpful Balin" you said. Why did you even bother talking to this about a dwarf?

He sat down beside you, clapping your shoulder. It almost send you tumbling down to the ground but you were sure he hadn't meant it that way. 

Undisturbed by your almost injury he kept talking like nothing had happened. "I reckon it was one of his bed jokes again that made your cheeks heat up" he said with a wink.

Were the sons of Fundin out to get you today?

"Y-yes! He always does that!" you said. And for f- sake, you were blushing again.

Last time you were talking to them. Ever.

"Which one was it this time?" Balin appeared to be genuinely interested to find out which joke his younger brother had told you. You, however, were still debating if you should tell him at all. They did came from the same line...

"I am not sure I should tell you" you said. Your eyes narrowed suspiciously. It would really help if Balin's face wasn't so unreadable to you at times.

Balin showed you one of his sweetest smiles. So innocent, and yet so dangerous when he wanted it to be. "(Y/N), I give you my word. My jokes are not my brother'. It is not something I came up and I will most likely not even chuckle."

You eyed him up and down. Really, what was the harm? "Alright" you gave in with a deep sigh.

"It wasn't that bad just.... you know? The joke came from Dwalin. Personally I think that no one would get it but him" you said thoughtfully. Because now that you thought about it, it was more a cringy joke than a disturbing one.

Surprisingly enough.

The grey dwarf nodded, telling you to go on.

"Alright, it went like this:

A bride tells her husband: "Honey, you know I am a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"Alright sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison'. And we will call my private place 'the prisoner'. So what we do is put the prisoner in the prison".

And they made love for the first time that night. The husband was smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bridge giggled; "Honey, the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiled and said: "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time, the bride says: "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The husband rises to the occasion and they made love again. The bridge again, says: "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

To which the husband yelled: "IT WAS NOT A LIFE SENTENCE!" "

You await Balin's reaction to this. When Dwalin told you, you really couldn't see how he thought this was funny. If anything it left you feeling confused. 

Dwalin, on the other hand, could hardly keep himself standing. He had to hold on to a tree for support. Maybe you had just missed the clue. Thankfully his brother didn't seem to find it all that funny either.

"That is hardly an accurate description of how it works" Balin said, frowning.

Your hands came back up to hide your face. "That was not the point of the joke, Balin" you said. These dwarves knew how to make you tired. 

"I have tought him so many good jokes and then he uses those instead. Sometimes I am left to wonder if him and Thorin came up with it together."

The hands slowly disappeared again. "Thorin would never say such things." Would he?

Balin chuckled to himself. "You have never been around the king when he is just around his closest friends." He shrugged. "Maybe alcohol played a part in it too."

You shook your head as to forget everything from Dwalin's joke to that - Ah, see, you already forgot. How wonderful. "Can't you just tell me a joke instead? A good one?" you asked.

His whole face lit up. This was the moment he had been waiting on. He would never force someone to listen to his outstanding jokes but if that someone asked to hear them... Who was he to say no? 

"I know a few good ones" he said, his eyes getting a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. 

That should have warned you for the bad, cheeky jokes that were to come.

Balin smiled to himself before he began. "What is the difference between a violin, a tuna and a pot of glue?" He looked at you from the side.

You thought about it for a second. Guessing jokes never ended good for you. "They are all made out of different substances?"

He raised an eyebrow. "No, that is incorrect."

"I am pretty sure that the violin is made of wood, fish is made out of bones, meat and blood and a pot of glue out of glass and, well, glue" you teased him. 

"I am afraid it is still incorrect." He puffed out his chest. "For you see, you can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna." He was looking at you with expectant eyes.

"Alright... what about the glue?"

"I knew you'd get stuck there." The side's of Balin's mouth turned up as he elbowed you in the ribs. He raised his eyebrows, indicating that he was waiting for you to burst out in laughter. 

You could only hear the crickets from across the field. "Euhm, yeah, that was... I don't know what that was" you added silently.

Balin raised a finger in the air. "Don't worry. I know an even better one that will have you rolling on the ground!" he almost shouted. It was now his new life's mission to make you laugh. The crack-master' touch was still there!

"This one I think you will like because you strike me as a smart person."

You folded your arms, not expecting a whole lot. 'Just smile and roll with it' you thought.

"What did the unicorn say to the other unicorn?"

Was this another trick? "How is your pole holding up?" you tried, knowing that it most likely the wrong answer.

Balin shook his head, his eyes closed and crying from laughter already. "Nothing. They don't exist." With that he fell on the ground and laughed himself silly. 

You stood up, feeling a bit awkward as you looked at your friend on the ground. "Well, thank you for that lovely... insight." You watched as he started rolling over the grass like a mad man. "I am going now."

First, you took a few subtle steps back before just walking away. He probably wouldn't be too hurt when he saw you had left. 

You had no intention to walk back to camp and be surrounded by more 'funny' dwarves. Instead you decided to bring out your pipe. Take a few moments to find some peace. And hopefully some quietness. 

"Long night?"

You didn't mean to roll your eyes but it happened anyway. "Yeah." If dwarves only ever took a hint.

"Maybe I can keep you company? I won't talk if you don't want me to."

The blonde prince looked symphatic as he watched you. He was always so considerate, unlike his brother. Kili had the tendency to run into things uninvited. Fili was a little older in that way. 

"Aye, I would like that."

Fili stood beside you and offered you some of his own blend. You shared a comfortable silence, one that you had been waiting for all day. Finally the sex jokes from Dwalin and the bad ones from Balin had disappeared into the back of your mind. 

Finally someone to share in some silence and not having to listen to cringy jokes.

"Did they share their jokes with you?" the prince asked.

You nodded.

"That is why you are so quiet tonight." He puffed out some smoke. "Can you handle one more?" Fili emptied his own pipe as he waited for your reply.

All you wanted to do was hit him on the back of his head. Even the thoughtful dwarves were not getting it into their thick skulls that they weren't funny. "Do you have to?" you whined. 

"Not if you don't want me to."

You sighed. "Fine, but make it a quick one."

Fili moved a little closer to you, his hand brushing against yours. "Your hand looks really heavy. Can I hold it for you?"

You turned your head to him, smiling when you saw the small blush on his cheeks. "Aye, you can."