"So, what's the deal with you two?"

Yoongi was walking alongside Hoseok and Namjoon, joining them on an outing to a shopping plaza. They'd been ambling around for a couple of hours now, perusing clothing stores as well as random boutiques. All the while, Yoongi watched the pair with intrigued eyes.

They were an interesting combination. Hoseok was cheery and energetic while Namjoon was more even keeled and calm. Even still, jokes ran freely between the two as well as mutual respect. It was obvious they were friends, but Yoongi wanted to know if there was something more budding between them.

In all honesty, their relationship reminded him a lot of him and Jungkook.

"Why do you have to be so blunt?" Hoseok responded, playfully pushing his shoulder. "I could ask you why Jungkook sleeps over almost every night, but you don't see me doing that now, do you?"

Yoongi whacked Hoseok's hands away as they came up to push him again. "He does not sleep over every night."

Namjoon laughed and threw a knowing look his way. "Yeah, he does. We've kept a tally."

Despite Yoongi's rebuttal, it was true. Jungkook really did sleep over every night. It was completely chaste, with no additional acts of intimacy occurring between them, but each found comfort in the other's arms.

It was something Yoongi never even did with Jimin.

"Are you trying to spin the conversation on me so you don't have to answer?" Yoongi said at last, well aware he was also deflecting.

Hoseok rolled his eyes. "We're doing whatever you and Kook are doing."

At that, they all let the topic drop.

They roamed around outside for a while longer, exploring a few confectioners and purchasing small bags of candy. Yoongi put together a bag for Jungkook, filling it with the younger's favorite sweets. He wore a smile on his face when imaging tossing it at the boy's face later this evening.

Once outside again, they decided to grab a light dinner before heading back to Yoongi's and Hoseok's apartment. However, they didn't make it three steps before they ran into familiar faces.

Jimin and Jin.

"Hey, guys!" Namjoon greeted them with a wave, stopping to chat with the two.

Yoongi's eyes locked with Jimin's instantly and his chest suddenly felt weighed down.

An awkward silence ensued as Yoongi and Jimin continued staring at each other, with the three other boys staring at them in return.

"Can we talk?" Jimin whispered, his brows knitted low over his eyes.

Yoongi nodded, walking away from the group without turning to see if Jimin followed. He settled down on a bench, wringing his hands together as he was joined by the younger. A sense of apprehension filled his veins; he didn't know what Jimin wanted to talk about.

"You look happy," Jimin said at last, turning his body to better face the elder.

Yoongi recalled the last time Jimin said that to him - it was the night of Taehyung's party when he first met Jungkook. At that point, he was anything but happy. He was still mourning the loss of his relationship and couldn't envision ever being whole again.

But now . . .

"I am happy," Yoongi told the boy, speaking truthfully as he thought of Jungkook. "How have you been?"

Jimin's eyes started watering. "I'm not happy, Yoongi. I'm miserable."

Even though they were broken up, Yoongi's heart still lurched at those words. Maybe in the past he wanted to see his ex hung up on him, but he felt differently now. He had healed and moved on; he wanted the same for Jimin.

"I miss you so much, Yoongi," Jimin continued, tears trickling down his cheeks. "I've done a terrible job of letting you know that, but I really do. I made a stupid mistake and I regret it so much. I wish I never broke up with you."

Yoongi rubbed soothing circles over his knee. He didn't owe the younger any comfort, yet he wanted to give it to him anyway. "Tell me why you broke up with me, Jimin. And tell me the real reason. Was it because of Jin?"

Jimin shook his head vigorously in denial. "No! Jin is just a friend. He's been helping me during our break up and to feel normal again."

"So why, then? Was it really because we didn't try new things together?" Yoongi asked, needing to know the answer so he could confidently put this behind him. "I truly want to understand."

"I think I just felt too safe. Too comfortable. And I thought that meant we weren't evolving and growing as a couple anymore. I was scared that I'd become complacent and would never challenge myself to go outside of my comfort zone."

Yoongi studied the younger's face, seeing the remorse and sadness in every single one of his features. His eyes watered, his lips quivered, his nose ran.

"I wish you told me these things before breaking up with me," Yoongi explained, his hand stilling on top of the boy's knee. "We might have been able to work through them."

More tears streamed from Jimin's eyes. "I know. I was stupid and prideful, thinking I didn't need you in my life. I spent months trying to convince myself I was okay. But I'm not. I miss you and I love you and I am so sorry."

This was what Yoongi always wanted to hear. For months, he wanted to know Jimin regretted his decision and needed the elder back in his life. This end goal was the whole reason Yoongi started the hoax with Jungkook in the first place: to know Jimin still cared.

But that was before Yoongi got to know Jungkook, before he developed feelings for the boy.

Though that didn't mean he wasn't confused now.

"Jimin . . ."

"And I know you're with that new guy," Jimin added quickly, wiping his nose on his forearm, "but I knew I'd regret it forever if I didn't tell you what was going on in my head."

Yoongi rolled his shoulders back. "So what are you saying? What are you hoping for?"

Jimin sniffed loudly before facing Yoongi full on. "I want you to take me back."

"What?" The elder breathed.

"Be my boyfriend again, Yoongi. Be in love with me again."

Yoongi ran his hands over his face and to his hair, smoothing back the strands. "I don't know what to say," he admitted honestly. "I . . . I don't know, Jimin."

"We have so many memories and good times together. I want to go back to where and who we were," Jimin pleaded, nodding his heads at his own words. "We can be the same Yoongi and Jimin we were back then."

"But I've changed. We both have because of this experience," Yoongi explained gently, not wanting to upset the boy. Truthfully, he was just trying to stall and give himself more time to think.

He was just so damn confused.

"I'll love this version of you just as much. Please. Please at least consider it," Jimin begged through his tears.

"I . . .," Yoongi hesitated, unsure of how to respond. There was no denying he cared for Jungkook, no refusing that the boy had become incredibly special to him.

But this was Jimin. This was what he had wanted.

"I'll give you as much time as you need. But please . . . please just think about it." Jimin got up and ran off, leaving Yoongi alone on the bench.

Alone except for the turmoil that had become his heart and mind.

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》 V A L E N W R I T I N G 《

I've experienced something similar (ish) to this. Where an ex kept trying to rekindle what we had in the past. I always had such a difficult time deciding what to do, even if I was happier without him.

Feelings aren't always straightforward and can be so tough to navigate. I'm still trying to figure out what the hell I'm feeling on a daily basis haha. But it's a learning process, and I find comfort in seeing how far I've come over the years!

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk 🤣