The Ghost of Yassir
Aunty wake up! His ghostly voice haunts me again. No, please no. Am so tired. I had a very rough day at the hospital.
I drag myself from the bed and follow his glowing figure to the balcony.
Aunty, do you see the stars? I look up. The dark grey clouds. There is no stars. Just a dark cloud hanging there. I don't wanna look at his burnt body. It makes me feel nauseated. And why the hell are they still fresh. The incident happened months ago.
"There are no stars, Yassir." I say plainly as I sit next to him.
You are wrong. See that one. He points at the dark clouds. That's my ummi. Isn't she beautiful?
Ya Rabb No! I wanna cry. I wanna pull my hair. I wanna die. Yes. I'd rather die than go through this session again.
Look, she is smiling. She says she misses me. Ooh and their is my brother. His head is still severed from his body. I thought he was slaughtered by someone but I understand it was the shrapnel. The scene was horrific. I was watching from our balcony. The fire was huge. I was burning yet I couldn't feel the pain. It's funny. I have been afraid of fire all my life and I was burning up yet I couldn't feel the pain.
Now I just wanna scream. Why am I still listening to this?
"And their is my Abu. His beard is still bloody. They had no Idea I was still inside the building. " I say along with him. I have listened to his tale so many times. I know his story. He has told me so many times yet he still tortures me with it almost twice a week.
Aunty, you are so nice. May Allah bless you. Now he stares at me with tears in his eyes. I wanna wipe the tears away but am afraid. His burns are so fresh. It would hurt him. Ooh Allah! What am I saying. Why am I being so crazy. This is not real. Yassir is not real. He is dead! I was the one who attended to him at the Hospital. I couldn't save him. He died while I was watching him. It's been months since he died. His whole family died. Why am I seeing him? My colleagues are right. I am crazy. All those deaths have got into my head. I am too weak. I should go back to my country. Syria is not the place for me. Am done volunteering. Am done watching small kids dying. Am done listening to the Ghost of Yassir.
Aunty! Aunty! Please don't cry. You are so nice. I am grateful to you. See, even Ummi is smiling at you.
Ya Rabb! Am I really crazy or are ghost real? Ya Rabb! Protect me from insanity. Ya Rabb..
"Wake up!" Someone is tapping my shoulder. "Wake up! We have an emergency." The voice shakes me.
"Why is she crying in her sleep?" Another voice asks. I open my eyes.
Am at the hospital. I was sleeping. It was just a dream. My colleague hands me my coat. I wipe the tears away. Working at a hospital in Syria means no sleep. With all those casualties how can I sleep. No wonder I keep dreaming about Yassir and his family. They died months ago. May Allah grant them Jaanah.
"There was another bombing in the city. There are so many casualties. I will attend to the grown ups you and your team should attend to the kids."
"No! I want to attend to the grown ups." I said and ran to the ER before he changed his mind. I don't wanna meet another Yassir who will steal my heart and break it in to pieces. No way! It's enough he haunts my sleep.
As-salaam Alaykum. I decided to write this small story to show you guys how hard things are at Syria. Am sure this story doesn't even express half of what is happening there. The Syrian war is no Joke. May Allah grant them what they deserve. Ameeen!
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