Dedication to Rainaforever7

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(From Rajveer's Point Of View)

I can't tolerate this hatred in Naina's eyes. I know I deserve this, Afterall...I was the one to snatch her brother from her. Naveen's life was taken away due to the bullet fired from my gun. From these damn hands I had shot him. I am a bloody murderer. But, inside this murderer beats an heart. This heart who only yearns for Naina despite knowing the fact I can never get her. This society will always raise questions on my selfless innocent love.

And with the arrival of my rival this guilt, this yearning and this restlessness has only increased. The prince of Barmer, Capt. Abhimanyu Rai Chauhan who once was my friend now has thirst for my blood. This was proved in that sword fight. Everyone blames me for killing Naveen but no one can see, that day, one bullet was fired but two souls were killed. I had freed my friend from that torturous life. Eventually he would have died due to the slow poison given to him but, giving some one a peaceful death takes hundred times more courage than saving.

Although Abhimanyu was always jealous of me. My friendship with Naveen, being the apple of faculty's eyes or being the second best cadet pass out everything about me pricked him. Why...? Because I had never taken any favor from Lala Sahab despite of his powerful position in the defence and still I have my own identity as CAPT. Rajveer Singh Shekhawat while Abhimanyu has to use his title "prince of Barmer" to be what he is. How much care and concern he shows, I know deep inside he hates me. Naveen always warned me of Chauhan sahab but in this dimly lit hope of finding a friend in Abhimayu I always trusted him. And what I got in return were taunts, accusations and hatred from him.

***

 Its my habbit to go jogging after dinner. I was getting ready for it that's when the prince of barmer came and sat beside me.

Abhimanyu: Ready for jogging...very good very good....so....aap sirf yeh btaiye ke aap left pe soyenge ya right pe..(I looked at him)...quickly

So, again he is here to claim his rights over my stuff. Unfortunately, I know you too well by now Abhimanyu.

Rajveer: Kyu prince of barmer zameen prr nhi sote

He looked at me with an annoyed expression. Hahahahaha.....as I said I now you too well. Chauhan sahab.....you just pretend to be annoyed when someone refers you as prince....but on the inside you are what you are just because of this title. If someone removes this title from your name.....only Maj. Nair will regard you....after all...."chor-chor bhai-bhai"

Abhimayu: Tumhe yaad hai na....yeh baat pehle bhi kehna banned thha

Rajveer: To janaab....prince ke kitab se aapko ab bhi preshani hai

Abhimayu: Come on....koi aisi buri baat hai jo aap nhi bhoole hai

Fortunately chauhan sahab....mai kuch nhi bhoola

Rajveer: Jaante ho mai aaj tak kya nhi bhoola hu

Abhimanyu: Kya nhi bhole ho Rajveer kya nhi bhoole ho

Rajveer: Tumne ek baar apne Rajgharaane me ek sandesha bheja tha kii tumhe yahaan KMA kaa khana bilkul psnd nhi hai

Abhimanyu: And his highness of Barmer ne apne special khaansame bhijwa diye thhe....KMA mei

Rajveer: Bss.....unn khansamo ke haath ka khana hai jo mai aaj tak nhi bhoola hu....bda mazaa aaya tha

Although we have a few differences but the fact that we had fun as cadets can't be ignored too.

Abhimanyu: Bda mza aaya tha jab tak ke BC nhi aaye thhe

Rajveer: I 

Abhimanyu: Like

Rajveer: Chinese 

Abhimayu: Food

Saying this we both hi-fived and then hugged each other....remembering those old good days when my soul brother was with me in person.

***

Somewhere in the corner of my heart lits a candle of hope that one day Naina will understand me. Today the "Dove and Hawk" drill has succeeded in almost obfuscating that candle.

When BC announced Abhimanyu leading the team of doves, the smile that Naina gave to Abhimanyu tore my already damaged heart into pieces.

***

Wasn't all this less that the recorder misery came up.

"Sir mai abhi recorder wahaan rkh krr aata hu"
"Aisa kya hai uss recorder mai"

How do I tell him, that recorder has Naveen's last words. The words which were for Naina, his gudiya who meant his whole world before I brutally killed him. I don't have that courage to see the same as of Naina in Alekh's eyes as well. Everyone knows how possessive Alekh is for Naina. Whatever the truth may be but the reality is "I shot Naveen".

How much and whatever I portray from outside but only I know how broken I am from inside. Naina being close to Abhimanyu sets my heart on fire. A fire which unfortunately fails to claim my life. It leaves me begging for death which is never granted to me.

Every tear of Naina works as an acid for me. In addition, that scene of Naina hugging Abhimanyu and sharing her thoughts with him provides the oxygen for that always igniting fire. Even Naveen wanted that recorder to get damaged. He had left us a code in that. Either she shows it or not, I know she blaims me for his demise and for that damaged recorder. I not only love her, I live her 24×7. Earlier she used to barge into my room with her numerous questions calling out "Rajveer sir" but now she has stopped calling me sir! Hahahaha! My Cadet Naina ah Singh changes her way on sighting me.

I think I deserve this.....I have made my mind understand this....but how do I make my miserably crying heart understand this damn fact. It might be a very small thing for the world....but for me it is the end of my world. I just hope of a day to come when Naina would understand me and she'll return barging in my room with those numerous questions calling out "Rajveer Sir". Apparently it's just a dream for now.

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I had posted this on my blog page and I got a commendable response so decided to repost it here.

Rainaforever7 didu....you wanted to read about Rajveer's POV when he saw Abhimanyu close to Naina....I've tried to put my best in.....really waiting for your responses and also points where I can improve ☺

Signing off
Kikaberry

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