*** CHAPTER 16 ***

A light timid knock at the door breaks Vidhaan’s concentration and he lifts his head up to tear his gaze away from the file he has been reviewing… or let’s say has been trying to do so. This whole deal and business ordeals have never been his things. He loves his profession. Being a teacher rendered him peace… a sense of self-satisfaction that he hasn’t been able to find anywhere else. He wants those innocent gazes and carefree giggles back in his life. Oh, how he misses his old life! Because that’s what makes him… him!

Another hesitant but urgent knock makes him wonder who it can be. Is that Swara? But why would she knock at the door of her own room especially when it’s unlocked and she has gone downstairs just a few minutes ago. Then, maybe Ragini or Laksh! Sighing and shrugging his shoulders, Vidhaan gets up from his bed and after few quick strides holds the knob of the door to pull it open.

And the moment he opens the door, he regrets it. His heart wrenches and a shudder flows down his body for the person standing in front of him is the person he is supposed to love the most, but lamentably is the person he has come to hate the most. Wait… Does he even hate her? A humorless laugh tugs at his throat as he realizes how unfortunate he is. Which child in this world hates his own mother?! He hated her when he didn’t know who she was and when she’s in front of him maybe he detests her even more. 

Vidhaan: I guess I made it clear that I don’t want to talk about anything!

Annapurna: I’m… I’m not here to ask for forgiveness. I know it’s too much to ask for…

Vidhaan: Please leave! I don’t want Swara to hear anything you’re going to say.

Annapurna: Please! Just listen to me once.

Vidhaan: (slowly yet sternly) And what am I supposed to listen? That how you guys found me unwanted at first and then when my brother is no more, you have come to realize that you have one more son! What if I wasn’t your son? What if I was just the simple stranger Vidhaan? Would you have still preferred standing here?

Annapurna: I know I have done a grave mistake and I…

Vidhaan closes his eyes as tears threaten to well up but he can’t let that happen. Not in front of her. He has to stand strong and this time not for anyone else but for himself. He has always yearned for a father’s protective shadow and a mother’s loving embrace but now that they are in front of him, he realizes that he is not strong enough to ask them for that. He wants to. He really does. Deep within he is still that small child who just wants to run into his mother’s embrace and let her love him with all her heart. But something strong… very… very strong has been restraining him from doing so and he needs help to fight that. No matter how hard it’s for him to accept that but he needs help.

Vidhaan: Please, don’t make it harder for me than it already is. I’m here just for Swara. The moment she’ll remember everything I’ll be gone.

And a spasm of panic hits Annapurna as his words register themselves in her brain slowly. He will leave. She will lose her son? Again!

Annapurna: N-No! You can’t… can’t leave.

Vidhaan: I don’t belong here! This life is not for me.

Annapurna: But this… everything is yours. Please, you’re not unwanted.

Vidhaan chuckles but humor is not even the last thing Annapurna finds in there. He’s hurt. He really is and the only reason for his misery is that she hasn’t been strong enough… strong enough to protect her own son and no amount of forgiveness will relieve her from the guilt.

Annapurna: I’m sorry!

Vidhaan: Sorry?! I guess you said you are not here for forgiveness.

Annapurna: I’m not talking about that Sans… V-Vidhaan! I’m sorry for not protecting you… then!

Vidhaan: (narrows his eyes) What?

Annapurna sucks in a deep breath before taking out a polybag from behind of her and forwarding it towards him. Vidhaan scrunches his brow in confusion. Now what is she up to? Slowly yet cautiously he brings his fingers to the bag fumbling with its opening but in an instant Annapurna holds his hand.

Annapurna: Not here, please! I don’t want anyone else to see this. If you don’t mind, can I come inside?

Without a single word, Vidhaan moves to his left side providing enough room for her to enter and Annapurna understanding his silence walks inside with a slight nod. Sighing, Vidhaan shuts the door beside him and offers her a seat on the bed as he sits on the chair next to the bed.

Vidhaan: What is it?

He asks as he starts working on the folded poly bag once again. Taking a deep breath he finally peers inside the bag and Annapurna keeps looking at him with an indescribable expression… relief, resentment, anticipation and maybe… fear?!

And the next moment Vidhaan throws the polybag with a jolt of fear. His entire being trembles and his eyes go wide almost ready to bulge out of the sockets. Is this lady crazy?

Vidhaan: W-What is… that?

Annapurna looks at him but he keeps staring at the bag in disbelief. It’s as if his eyes have been glued to the polybag he has thrown down onto the floor with the only thing inside of it sprawling out now. Vidhaan cringes at the sight of the piece of cloth… A white cloth covered in blood!! Dried blood patches, precisely.

Is this woman trying to give him heart attack now?! Was everything she did a week ago not enough?

His eyes widen even more as she gets up from the bed, picks up the cloth, folds it with utmost care and places it back inside the bag. When finally done, she lifts up her head and her gaze meets with his baffled questioning eyes. Slowly, she runs her fingers over the bag as if reliving some memories. The smile on her lips tells him that this is something dear but her eyes hold an unbearable amount of pain. Pain that he could feel too. He feels a connection and though he is still denial but she is his mother.

Annapurna: This is the cloth ‘you’ were wrapped in when I saw you last time.

“What?!!”, Vidhaan chokes on his own breath and it comes out louder than expected. This is ‘his’?! That ragged piece of cloth belongs to ‘him’!

Annapurna tries to chuckle at his expression but all comes out is a croaked voice. She has been holding this inside of her for last twenty seven years and now finally it’s time to let everything out. She looks at him as a couple of tears also break off their boundaries and roll down the corner of her eyes.

Vidhaan: H-How come is it mine?

Annapurna: When I was pregnant, I had no idea that I was going to have twins. You know during the starting months, your father and I always had this tussle for deciding the names of our kids. We decided that if daughter we’ll name her Avni but when it came to our son, your father wanted to name him Shlok but I loved the name Sanskaar. We had this argument for almost a month and then we came to an agreement that our elder son will be named Shlok and if I’ll have a son again then we’ll name him Sanskaar.

Vidhaan: So… that means I was younger of the two?

Annapurna: (nods her head) Yes! By a couple of minutes. Shlok was born normal just like any other healthy baby but you were weak… really weak. The doctors said that you were having trouble in breathing and thus, they had to keep you under observation for 48 hours. You were taken to the incubator. I… I… wasn’t even allowed to hold you! They said it could be dangerous for you and I knew it was for the best. If I had to hold you for all my life then I had to let you go then. There were these two pendants that your father had made for both our sons after your birth. After twenty four hours, I was finally allowed to hold you. The moment you were given in my arms… you held my finger and with your delicate fragile fingers wrapped around mine, I instantly fell in love with you. You felt so much like Shlok yet you were so different. Your breathings were turning normal but you were still weak. Your father placed one chain around Shlok’s neck and I had put the other around yours. And then you were taken back again for a few tests. But who knew that it would be the first time I would touch you and the last time I would see you.

Vidhaan: W-What happened?

Annapurna: You were gone!

Vidhaan: What do you mean I was gone?

Annapurna: When they went to check you after a few hours you were missing from the incubator. The word that a child was lost spread all around the hospital. Your father searched for you everywhere and Sujata and Ram had been taking care of me meanwhile. Your father didn’t come home for next three days. He did everything within his might... searched for you night and day. But he could never find out where you were. It was like you were a dream and when we opened our eyes, you vanished. I couldn’t stop crying and then the last thing I remember was I fainted. When I woke up after a complete whole day, your father was by my side with a box in his hand.

Vidhaan could feel the soreness in his throat as he finally listens to what had happened. If he wasn’t at fault, then they weren’t either! He could feel his chest tightening as Annapurna let’s out a shaky cry and it breaks his heart. They have been hurting much the same way he has been all this while.

Vidhaan: What was there in the box?

Annapurna: This cloth! Covered with blood and a small note saying: ‘forget your precious son, he will never come back to you’ and that was the end. I had lost you. I failed as a mother. I couldn’t protect my own child. I could never hold you and tell you how much I loved you. I lost everything. Each and everything… and now because of my reckless behavior I have ruined every damn thing again. After all these years, when I touched you was to slap you?! Not only my son, but no one’s son deserves to be treated like that. I know I have failed… failed as a mother again and I’m… I’m so sorry!

She let’s out another shaky cry and Vidhaan tries to reach out to wipe those tears away but he fails to bring himself to lift his hand closer to her. He knows she would want him to but he couldn’t.

They weren’t at fault! Should he forgive her? Should he forgive them? An inner conflict tugs at his heart and he finds it hard to come to a decision to which both his heart and mind could agree. He opens his mouth several times but couldn’t form something coherent to roll down his tongue. And that makes him realize he needs time… time to gather himself together and accept everything.

Vidhaan: Who had sent the box?

Annapurna: (shakes her head vehemently) I… I don’t know. We tried finding out but someone had left it at the main gate when no one was in view. All I knew was we had lost you but we couldn’t get you out of our hearts, could we? We have always loved you as much as we have loved Shlok and just to keep you alive in our hearts… in our lives… we nicknamed Shlok after you!

Oh God!

Vidhaan: (inhales deeply) Sanky? It’s for… Sanskaar?!

Annapurna: (nods her head) Yes. We couldn’t have named him Sanskaar for it would have looked like you never existed. So, we named him Sanky. How unfortunate I am that you have been in front of my eyes but I couldn’t recognize you. I failed as a mother once again. I’m sorry. I’m… so sorry for treating you like that. First I lost you, then I lost Shlok. I didn’t want to lose Swara as well. I was so scared and I don’t know what came over me that I behave like that. I know I can’t take that back but… I can assure you that it will never happen again. No only to you but to no one else. I promise. I do.

Vidhaan: I believe you!

And the three words feel like music to her ears. An unknown burden lifts off her heart and she feels at ease. She feels relieved. He believes her! Annapurna hasn’t been this happy in quite a while and she smiles one of those smiles that makes him wonder… is it even possible for her to smile like that! And he couldn’t help the small tug of the corner of his lips.

Annapurna: You… You do?

Vidhaan nods his head with the slightest smile and her smile widens.

Annapurna: Thank you! That’s a lot more than I expected. That’s all I wanted you to know. I’ll take your leave now.

Giving him one last smile she gets up from the bed and following her Vidhaan too gets up from the chair and walks ahead of her to open the door for her but is soon stopped with her voice once again.

Annapurna: Sanskaar!

“Yes?”, he replies without even realizing that this is the first time he is responding to his real name and Annapurna’s heart escalates. At that moment she realizes, no matter how long it takes, he will come back to her. He just needs sometime.

Annapurna: Um…

Vidhaan: What is it?

Annapurna: If… Um… if you don’t mind… can I hold you for once? Please! I’ll never ask for that again.

And that childish request his own mother leaves Vidhaan tongue tied. Only God knows how much he has wanted this! Damn it, he has always dreamt of this one moment! His eyes go wide and for a moment Annapurna’s heart sinks down… Has she ruined the slightest hope again? And that’s when she noticed his head move merely by an inch. Though it’s hardly noticeable but he has nodded. He has given her his approval and she can finally touch her son. In barely a moment, her hands wrap around his torso and she starts murmuring several thanks to him.

Annapurna: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much! I promise I won’t hurt you again.

She stiffens as she feels his hesitant touch at the back of her head. Lifting up her head from his chest she lets her eyes take one good look of her son for she’s not sure whether there will be another time. Nervously, she lifts her trembling hands to cup both his cheeks and presses her lips softly at his forehead and Vidhaan sighs in contentment. A tear drop roll down the corner of his eyes and he could feel the hard walls around his heart breaking. This is the love he has been longing for all his life! This is the warmth he has been seeking for as long as he remembers!

He whimpers and Annapurna pulls back hastily. Has she hurt him again? But the small smile on his lips tells her otherwise. She’s determined to get everything right this time. With her thumb still on his cheeks she wipes off that lonely tear drop before pulling away.

Annapurna: I’ll go and get the snacks ready. Just come down in sometime.

He nods his head and with one last smile Annapurna walks out of the room leaving him alone to ponder over where his life is taking him!

---------------------.

SEN GUPTA MANSION

Kavita barges into her brother’s room and finds him sprawled lazily over his bed. Sahil lifts up his head on the unannounced intrusion and finds his sister almost throwing daggers his way.

Sahil: What’s wrong Kavita?

Kavita: What’s wrong? Seriously, bhai. You’re asking me what’s wrong when the question should be what’s right! Didn’t I tell you to attend Mr. Khanna’s party last week as I had some urgent matter to tend to?

Sahil: (shrugs) Yeah! So?

Kavita sighs desperately. She so wants to punch him right now! Rolling her fist to her side she grits her teeth trying hard not to let her frustration out.

Kavita: Why weren’t you there?

Sahil: Why should I be there knowing that Swara will attend the party with that impersonator? It’s not like she was dying to meet me!

Kavita: Bhai!! I will kill you. At least you should have been there to stop everything that could possibly ruin our whole plan.

Sahil: (alarmed) What’s wrong?

Kavita: (sighs) You know Mr. Khanna’s daughter?

Sahil: Your friend, Priya Khanna! What about her?

Kavita: Well, I have been seeing the few of the pictures that were clicked that day and I found something… Ugh! Why the hell were you not there?

Sahil: What did you find Kavita? Is it about Swara?

Kavita: Isn’t that obvious?

She glares at him before shoving her mobile phone in his hands and zooming in on a particular photograph. And with one view Sahil loses all his cool. His grip on the mobile phone tightens as he looks at the pic again. And again. And again.

Sahil: (shouts) What the bloody hell?!!

Kavita: Exactly!

Sahil: They kissed?! The impersonator kissed her. How dare he? She is mine! How… I will kill him!

Kavita: No!

Sahil: (narrows his eyes) What do you mean by ‘no’?

Kavita: If things have escalated to this level then do you know what will hurt him the most!

Sahil: What?

Kavita: He’ll be hurt the most if the one to hurt him is… Swara! And when will she hurt him?

Sahil: When?

Kavita: Why are you so dumb? She will… when she’ll find that he’s not Shlok. And that’s where we come in.

Sahil: But she doesn’t remember anything. We tried reminding her last time but the plan backfired, remember?

Kavita: Yes! So, this time we won’t try to remind her instead we’ll… try to find out who this new guy is!

Sahil: And how are we going to do this?

Kavita: When was the first time you saw him?

Sahil: Papa and I went to their house one day and I found out that he was already there.

Kavita: Did anything happen before that? Like maybe someone did something.

Sahil: Um… not exactly… No! Wait! Hemant!

Kavita: The manager?

Sahil: That bloody manager! We were there only when he came back from Mumbai and he demanded a private talk with Durga Prasad Maheshwari! And few moments later, Durga Prasad told us that they had some important matter to attend to at Mumbai.

Kavita: Are you sure that they went to Mumbai only? Maybe they told you Mumbai but went somewhere else.

Sahil: Maybe I’m not very sure!

Kavita: Then there’s only one way to be sure!

Sahil: What?

Kavita: (smirks) My dear brother! It’s finally time to pay a little visit to our dear Hemant uncle!

And Sahil smirks too! His sister does have a sinister brain!

-----------------------.