*** CHAPTER 14 ***

No!

No! This can’t be happening.

She thought she had lost him. Long back.

How come she hasn’t realized it yet?! Her breathing come out in uneven pants as Annapurna looks at both the pendants again and again and again. What has she done? How could she let her anger overpower her senses? She has ruined everything. But how can she let this go? She has waited for this moment for years, even without a single ray of hope she has waited and now that he is in front of her she can’t let him go. She will take everything he will give. Love. Hatred. Anger. No matter what it is she won’t lose him. Not again.

With all her might she grabs both the pendants and sprints back to the central hall. She needs to get a hold of the last handful of things dear to her before everything falls apart. She has to.

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Vidhaan winces as Laksh dabs the sterilized cotton swab at the wound on the side of his neck whereas Ragini sits beside her husband on the couch in the central hall as he attends to Vidhaan’s wound.

So, this is how it feels. The only thing that has been dear to him is no longer in his possession. Fisting his palm to his sides Vidhaan takes a deep breath to stop himself from doing anything rash. He could have fought back but he didn’t. He couldn’t and he himself doesn’t know why. Shouting and fighting have never been his things but he is not a person to sit back either when he is being wronged. He can totally understand her point of view as well. She’s scared… scared of losing her daughter after losing her son. But that’s not an excuse to take away his dearest thing.

Applying the ointment, Laksh walks away to wash his hands and Ragini gets up to place the first-aid kit back in the drawer.

Vidhaan closes his eyes reminiscing the few happy moments of his life back there in Mumbai. Oh, how he wishes to be back there again! Life has been so simple there. So sorted without any worries and hurt. A small smile tugs at his lips as he feels warm fingers run hesitantly through his hair.

Wait! He has never felt this warmth before.

He opens his eyes with a jolt just to turn around and look at the person standing right behind him but Durga Prasad’s booming voice answers his questions even without turning as he storms towards his wife yanking her away from Vidhaan and he instantly misses the warmth.

Durga Prasad: What the hell are you doing here?

Annapurna: (stutters) I… I came to see.

Durga Prasad: What do you want to see? Haven’t you hurt him enough already?

Annapurna: I-I’m sorry!

Durga Prasad: Sorry? That’s all you’ve to say Annapurna?

Annapurna: I know I have done a mistake. I just…

Durga Prasad: You just, what? He’s the only person who has been helping us selflessly… without asking for anything and this is what you have given him in return.

Annapurna: I… I can explain.

Durga Prasad: I don’t think so. What you did back there has no valid explanation. How come my Annapurna became so cold? So heartless!

Annapurna: I just saw him with Swara and…

Durga Prasad: And you behaved like that. What were you thinking? Were you even thinking? What’s wrong if he was with Swara? Shlok… Our son is not coming back. Swara needs someone by her side and Vidhaan makes her happy. Can’t you see that?

Annapurna: (shouts) I can see. (whispers) I can see. But…

Durga Prasad: No if and buts. From now on, you’ll stay away from Vidhaan. No matter what I don’t want you anywhere near him.

Annapurna: NO!

The words strike Annapurna like lightning. Her eyes glimmers with tears as she tries to look around for help but everyone seems to agree with the head of the family. It’s better if she stays away from him. But being the hard-headed lady, like she is, she begs to differ.

Durga Prasad: I don’t want to hear anything Annapurna. You’re going back to room. Now!

He grabs her wrist pulling her back to the room but she yanks her hand away from his grip.

Annapurna: I’m not going before I see him.

Durga Prasad: What the hell do you want, Annapurna?

Annapurna: I-I just want to talk to him.

Durga Prasad: No. After what you have done… No.

Annapurna: Please. I just want to talk to him.

Durga Prasad opens his mouth to say something but Vidhaan cuts in between making his way slowly towards them.

Vidhaan: I think we should listen what she wants to talk about.

Durga Prasad: No, Vidhaan. I know how soft-hearted you are but this time there is no forgiveness. And she is staying away from you.

Annapurna: No. Please.

Durga Prasad: (shouts) Enough. I don’t want you to hurt him anymore.

Annapurna: (shouts back) I won’t hurt him.

Durga Prasad: And how am I supposed to trust you?

“BECAUSE HE IS MY SON”, Annapurna’s choked scream freezes everyone, their eyes wide and mouths ajar. No one dares to move an inch. Durga Prasad stumbles back a few steps as his eyes shift continuously between Annapurna and Vidhaan. Those five words have apparently rampaged Vidhaan’s entire being. Something unknown flicker in his eyes, his lips parted and his eyes stretch as wide as they can.

Durga Prasad: He… He is not Shlok, Annapurna.

Annapurna: He’s not. He… He is…

Not able to take it anymore, Annapurna falls down on her husband’s feet crying hysterically. Durga Prasad looks down at his wife as a tear drop silently roll down his cheek. So, his first feeling seeing this young man wasn’t wrong!

With slow steps Vidhaan trudges towards Annapurna and sits in front of her on his knees as he notices something shine from the corner of her fist. She looks up at him with hopeful eyes but his eyes remain glued to her fist and he slowly pulls his pendant away from her grip. His lips curl up a little on feeling the cool metal against his finger tips. Finally!

Annapurna: That’s not yours!

Her voice makes Vidhaan tear his gaze away from the pendant in his hand and he lifts up his head to come eye to eye with her. Annapurna lifts up her trembling hand and opens her fist only to reveal the exact same pendant resting on her palm.

Shocked! Terrified! Weak! Scared!

Vidhaan could feel all the emotions rushing back to him and he tumbles back sprawling on the velvety carpet the next moment. This can’t be happening. His mouth go dry and he opens his mouth to say something but words fail him and he finds himself suffocating more and more with every passing moment. Annapurna forwards her palm towards him urging him to take his pendant back but his senses seem to betray him. He drags himself backwards as far away as possible from everyone. The heaviness in his heart, that he has confined in for so long, couldn’t be helped anymore and his first tear breaks free. He quickly wipes it away. He can’t cry. He won’t cry. Do they even deserve his tears?

Each and every person witnessing the heart wrenching scene in front of them could feel tears stinging their eyes. Durga Prasad fails to muster up the courage to make a single move. Sujata’s muffled sobs start turning into audible cries and Ram wraps his arms around her with unshed tears in his eyes. Laksh and Ragini not knowing what to do, not understanding even a single bit stand there numb with Ragini tugging at Laksh’s arm.

Taking a deep breath, Vidhaan gets up from the floor, just to turn around and leave. He has had enough for one night. But stops dead in his tracks on feeling the same warmth before on his shoulder.

Annapurna: (slowly) San… Sanskaar!

“Vidhaan! My name is Vidhaan”, he says without turning around.

Annapurna: Please. No. You’re… you’re my son.

“I’M NOT YOUR SON”, he shouts pushing her hand away from his shoulder. “I’m no one’s son. I’m an orphan”, his yet again calm voice holds an avalanche of emotions buried underneath.

Annapurna: Please. I’m your m… mother!

MOTHER! That one word breaks off all the hold he has on himself. Each and every pent up emotion flows down his cheek in an unbroken stream. He keeps wiping them away furiously but he loses all his control over his tears. He feels like screaming. Screaming his heart out and that’s exactly what he does.

Vidhaan: Mother! Seriously, mother? You call yourself my mother. Where was your love when you threw away your two days old son on the doorstep of the orphanage covered in all blood? Where were you when to those big boys bullied me in the orphanage every single day? Where were you when I cried myself to bed for the first time? Where the hell were you both when I needed you the most?!! You were not there. None of you were. You were not there when I stumbled on my first step. I wanted someone to come and hold me, feel happy for me when I took my first step. I seriously wonder how come the first thing I ever said was ‘Maa’ because you were never there. You were not there when I yearned for a mother’s embrace seeing all those happy kids back there at school. You were not there when I wanted a father to pat my back and tell me that he’s proud of me when I was the topper of the university. And now all of a sudden now you want me to consider you parents? I have been dying every single day thinking what I might have possibly done in mere two days of my life that I became so unwanted for my parents that they threw me away!

Annapurna: Sanskaar!

“Vidhaan, Mrs. Maheshwari. Vidhaan. I’m not any Sanskaar, nor I’ll ever be”, his raging voice tears down everyone’s heart.

Durga Prasad: Son, please let us explain.

Vidhaan: I don’t want any explanation! Will your explanation bring back all the time I lost longing for my parents. For their love.

Durga Prasad: (moving towards him) Son!

“I hate you. I hate you. I hate you”, fresh tears pour down his orbs as the most heart withering words roll down his lips. Turning around, without giving any glance back, he runs. Not knowing where he is going or where his feet are taking him, he just opens the main door and runs.

“Sanskaar…”, Annapurna shouts running after him but Durga Prasad grabs her arm.

Annapurna: Please!

Durga Prasad: He already hates us Annapurna. I don’t want him to hate us anymore.

Annapurna: Please, stop him. Please. I don’t want to lose him again. He is my son.

Her tears refuse to stop. She has lost her son again. She failed as a mother again. She falls down to her knees. What unlucky of a mother she is that she couldn’t even recognize her own son. Her own flesh and blood.

Laksh: What was that Badi Maa? How come I never know that I have a brother?

Annapurna: I… I had… twins! Shlok and… Sanskaar! We… lost him.

She immediately grabs the sides of Laksh’s blazer pleading him repeatedly.

Annapurna: I’ll… I’ll tell you everything Laksh. Everything. Please stop your brother. I can’t lose him again.

Laksh: (wipes off her tears) Okay. Okay. I’ll go get him but please don’t cry.

Annapurna nods her head and Laksh runs out of the house followed by Ragini right after him.

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Laksh storms out of the main door and finds Vidhaan running aimlessly at the driveway but towards the main gate. Increasing his pace he tries to catch up with him and grabs his arm just before he could reach for the gate.

Vidhaan: Please! Please, let me go. Please Laksh.

Laksh: San… Vidhaan. Just listen to me.

Vidhaan: There is nothing left to listen. It was a mistake. Coming here was a mistake. I have accepted myself the way I am but being here has questioned my own existence. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what I am. I don’t even know whether I should be in this world or not. I am unwanted.

Laksh: (holds his shoulders) Stop it! Just stop it. You’re not unwanted. Let’s just go inside. You need to rest. Everything will be fine.

Vidhaan: No. I just want to leave.

Laksh: You’re not going anywhere. Are you listening? You’re my brother and I am not letting you go anywhere.

Vidhaan slumps down on the driveway and Laksh holds him as he falls down on his knees.

Vidhaan: I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Laksh: What are you apologizing for? You have nothing to apologize for.

Vidhaan: I don’t know. It feels as if everything is my fault.

Laksh: Please, stop blaming yourself for everything. You’re not at fault neither are Bade Papa and Badi Maa. They are not like that. There must be some reason. Just… Just give them some time.

Vidhaan: Nothing will change, Laksh. Nothing. It’s better if I leave.

Laksh: And what about Swara?

Swara! Vidhaan goes numb for a while. Laksh has hit on the right nerve. He is right. What about Swara?

Vidhaan: (slowly) Swara.

Laksh: She needs you more than anyone else. She’ll die if you are not by her side.

The torrent of emotions he feels for Swara start pouring down and he closes his eyes tightly to calm down himself but nothing seems to be working right now. And then he feels two arms wrap around him. Tears make their way out of Laksh’s eyes as he engulfs his brother in his arms. He doesn’t know whether he should be happy or sad. He feels as if Shlok is back to him. Ragini strokes Vidhaan’s back slowly trying to sooth her friend assuring him that she’s still with him.

Vidhaan wraps his arm tightly around Laksh seeking refuge. He has never felt so vulnerable in his entire life. His brother here is giving him a shoulder to cry on and he knows he is not going to judge him.

Vidhaan: I swear Laksh… I swear I never wanted to feel anything for Swara. I tried keeping my distance from her.

Laksh caresses the back of his head murmuring soothing words as he feels fresh tears soaking his shirt near shoulder.

Laksh: I know. I know.

Vidhaan: But my stupid heart is not listening Laksh. It’s not listening. It hurts. It really does. I want this pain to stop but I feel so helpless. I don’t… I don’t know… what to do. Every time… every…

The burning sensation in his throat muffles his voice and he finds himself croaking after every next word. His existence is being questioned. The only person for whom he ever has developed feelings is not supposed to be his. He is forbidden to have feeling for her.

Laksh: Shh… it’s okay. We all know you are not like that. Everything just needs some time.

Laksh keeps holding Vidhaan for what feels like hours and Ragini keeps stroking his back as both of them keep chanting soothing words to him. After an hour and a half, Laksh looks at Vidhaan when he realizes he is not speaking anymore and finds him asleep on his shoulder.

He looks at Ragini and she whispers to take Vidhaan inside the house. Laksh and Ragini both hold either arms of asleep Vidhaan as they take him back inside the house.

And for the first time in twenty seven years, Vidhaan finally had someone to hold him as he cried himself to sleep.

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A/N

Sorry, for all the grammatical and typing mistakes as I had no time to proofread this chapter. Please feel free to let me know of my mistakes in here.

Honestly, I feel awful for making him cry so much. I hope I have done justice with the feelings and emotions. I just have one problem and I need your help as I’m not able to decide.

Whether we should call him Sanskaar from here on or should we keep calling him Vidhaan? I’m not able to decide, so, I want you all to help me out in this.

See you soon. Till then, stay blessed and happy reading!

With love,
Stella ❤️