Asher sat in the tub while Carter scrubbed him clean, he was covered in innocent blood. Asher stared at his bloody hands, he hadn't hardly touched the dead, yet the blood stuck to him like he had played in it. Asher looked to Carter with sad eyes. "Why did you kill them?"

"You looked scared baby, they had you trapped against a tree."

"Not them."

Carter set the wet towel on the side of the tub. "Who?"

"My parents. Why did you kill them."

"Asher I-"

"Why did you kill them and not me."

Carter stopped dead in his tracks, "Asher I would never kill you."

"Why! Why wont you! Do it please..kill me I cannot keep being the reason people I love die, and even people who I dont know who are just around me die! You should have killed me, you should have.."

Carter got on his knees beside the tub, his brow furrowed confused. "Baby people arent dying becaus of you."

"Yes they are! Alex, the hunters, my friends are all dead and somehow I lived, my therapist and his wife, my parents, my...my..my sister."

"Baby you did not get your sister killed, your uncle did that, it isn't your fault. You were a child."

"It is my damn fault! I cried and I screamed and I put up a fight and so he locked me in the closet and..and thats when he..when he used her and he was angry and I caused that! I should have died, he should have killed me! I should have died as a child! You..you. I got her killed! It was my fault!" His body was shaking, his eyes were sad, tears were dripping into the tub. "My parents are dead because of me..."

"No I did that." Carter said caressing his cheek. "I killed them."

"Because of me!" Asher yelled in his face. "Why though.why!"

"Asher I..I was angry, I blamed you I thought you had taken Valery and my baby and I was angry."

"So you should have killed me!"

"No, I could never..even then I couldn't. I thought about it for a long time, but even then I couldn't. I did kill them in hopes of making you hate me, making it easier for me to not want you..but then when I saw how broken it made you..how sad you were...it drew me closer to you. I needed to protect you..I...I needed to..it made me want you more when I was trying to make you hate me..I..I could never kill you."

Asher stared at him. "You were trying to make me hate you?"

"Yes, I was." Carter stated. "You are not the reason they are dead, I have never meant to hurt you. I know I messed up, I know I should have..shouldn't have killed them. It was rage, okay. I was angry with you, and myself. I was angry that I had let you get away, that I had..that I had feelings for you I couldn't understand. I thought it would make it easier to be with Valery and not worry about you. I thought it would make me not need to keep my eyes on you, but I was wrong okay. Fuck, I love you..and you..you cant think about yourself like this. You are not a killer Ash, you have a good heart, you love and you are all the good in this world."

"I have blood on my hands," Asher replied. "They are dead because of me."

"No. It was my choice to kill them, Max's too."

"I...I have killed people though. We are serial killers."

"What kind of people are they."

"Rapists, child predators."

"Exactly, and who decided that our targets were going to fit that bill? If it were up to me we would just kill anyone I thought looked funny, but instead, you gave us a purpose baby."

"You still should have killed me, I deserve it. Everyone around me dies, or abandons me..its just a matter of time you do it too, I cant..I cant give you what you want..what you really want. I can be your husband, and we can raise kids, but I cant do what you really want...I am not worth your time. Im an accident waiting to happen, I..I dont deserve to occupy your space..I dont deserve to be the one whos alive when..when they are all dead.."

Carter cupped his cheeks in his hand. "I will never ever leave you, or hurt you again. You do too deserve to live, Asher you deserve so much more then death. I will never leave you and never hurt you. Asher..where is this all coming from, have you felt like this for a long time?"

"Yes."

"Asher god damn it why didn't you say anything?"

"I honestly thought I would be dead by now," he whispered, "I still think you should kill me."

"I will put you on suicide watch Asher."

"I will just ask Max to do it, he would do it."

"Asher!"

"What? I dont deserve to live when they are all dead! I dont deserve you! You..you are sitting here washing me clean of innocent peoples blood.. yes youve..youve done bad things to me but you have also saved my life, multiple times. Im weak, I cant defend myself. I am clearly a target for crazy..I..you need to kill me..or I will do it myself."

"Asher. No! Please baby please..I need you. I cant live without you. We will stop okay, we can stop if you feel that guilty about killing, but you are not the reason any of those people are dead. Most of them I killed. Honestly you are such a good person, you choose bad people to kill, you nearly drowned saving a child Asher, you wont let me kill Valery no matter how much I want to because you worry about those kids. You are a good person."

Asher only shook his head. "I am the reason they are all dead."

"No you arent. Can you not understand that? You did not get them killed, you did not do that! I did it, I killed them, and your uncle killed your sister..this isn't this isnt your fault please Asher please stop it. You cant think like this, it isn't your fault."

Asher realized Carter was crying. He hadn't ever really seen him cry before. "Carter..."

"Stop thinking this way about yourself! Please Asher, I need you in my life, or I am going to loose myself..I need you or I will die too..I need to have you..I cant live without you..I know I told you if you didnt want me to leave, that you could leave anytime. You still can, as long as you are living, but Asher..I really cannot go on without you. Your death would make all the other ones meaningless, you need to keep living for the people you loved, the people you love."

Asher nodded, he got the point but didnt feel any different. He did feel bad, about making Carter cry. "Im sorry..."

Carter couldnt be mad at him, he wasn't he just didn't know what to do. "It isn't your fault, none of this is...I..I kept something for you when I thought youd be ready, not that I think you really are but. I have something for you." Carter got up and walked towards his room, he pulled a newspaper our of a box. Asher got out of the tub and waited wrapped in a towel. Carter handed him the paper. "Its their obituary, you are mentioned in it a lot, it mentions your sister too. I..I thought maybe we could go visit their graveside, give you some closer if you need it. I know what I did was terrible, and if you want I would...let you kill mine."

Asher shot his head up quickly. "You are a fucking psychopath."

"Its only fair, I took their lives."

"Psychopath." Asher restated, he couldnt help but feel some satisfaction just at the thought. He had already helped kill his sister so they both had that going for them. "I couldn't."

"I didnt really expect you too, but the offer still stands."

"You would just let me kill them. You really are crazy, no wonder I cant decide where I stand with you."

"What does that mean?"

"You killed Alex because you didn't like she had me, and now you are just offering their lives in my hands. Where does that leave me? I am not related to you in anyway, you keep talking about killing the mother of your children, and yet you hold me so tight. Why? What makes me so different? I get worried you are going to kill me one of these days, because I hurt your feelings or break your heart or...why dont you kill me..why haven't you?"

"Because I love you, really really love you, I dont know what it is about you Asher, but even when I am so angry with you I could easily kill a man, I cant touch you."

Asher stood the towel dropping, his body covered in bruises and scars. "Yet you have."

He turned around and walked to the bed, he didn't care to get dressed, his emotions were high, he didn't realize why until he looked outside and saw the leaves were changing colors. It meant it was between September and October. The anniversary of his sisters death was coming.

He curled up under the covers, he was destroyed, and he knew he had hurt Carter, but at the moment he didn't know if he cared.

Carter paced, Asher was right, he had hurt him, and still did even if it was on accident. Asher deserved better but he also deserved to live, he would have to keep careful watch on him. He looked at the paper he had handed Asher, and noticed the date of his sisters death. It was in a few days, he wondered if that was part of why he was being so frustrating. He carefully walked back to the bed, sitting at the end of it and carefully rubbing Ashers back.

"Im sorry." Carter whispered to his sleeping frame. "I am so sorry."