"My eyes tell me what is wrong. Was I unwise to leave them open for so long?"

- Jackson Browne

                                                                                        ***

Not thinking, Sirius scratched at his arm, trying to abate the anxiety-provoked feeling that his fur was itching at the underside of his skin. He accidentally raked his claws down his forearm, blood splashing down to the creamy white and light green carpet, staining it black.

Alex looked at him when he swore, cradling his now bleeding arm to his chest. He closed his eyes, trying to will his claws away, but they remained stubbornly unsheathed. They had always been the hardest part of his other form to hide and control, but lately it had been all but impossible to keep them tucked away. 

He jumped and flipped sideways out of the chair when something cool touched his arm, just above the painful scratches. His pupils were blown out painfully, making him squint against the weak sunlight coming in through the windows. She'd startled him.

With a small laugh, Alex said, "I'm not going to hurt you."

He stared up at her from where he was still on the floor. A scoff escaped him before he could stop it. "You can't hurt me."

"Wanna bet," she said dryly, offering a hand to him. Sirius stared at it a moment too long, and she waved it in front of his face. "Come on, dude. Stand up and let me take a look at that."

He hesitated for another second, but his arm was now throbbing, and he took her hand. An unpleasant searing sensation hit him as soon as he touched her, and he pulled away from her when he was on his feet. Tilting his head, he stared hard at her chest, right above where her heart was.

He had chose to avoid seeing the Hunters' Souls when he had first met them. He didn't want to know any more about them than he absolutely had to.

Alex scowled at him, crossing her arms over her chest. But that didn't matter.

Slowly, the color of her Soul revealed itself, like it was reluctant to show him what she truly was. His lips parted in shock when he found silver and white swirling just under the skin.

No wonder she burned him.

He'd never seen such a pure Soul before. Not even Galloway, with her symphony of colors, was this pure. 

Among the blue and gold, the green and silver, the red and purple, she'd had small strands of dark black. Not enough to corrupt her, but enough to bring her a little closer to him. Enough to make her touchable, attainable. Enough darkness to give him hope that maybe he wasn't as far gone as he'd once thought.

But here, in the presence of Alex's Soul, that thought was almost ludicrous. Next to her, he was the darkness itself.

His eyes watering, he turned his head, waiting for the light to sink back toward her core. He startled when she snapped her fingers at him. Briskly, she said, "Come on. Let me see."

"You can't do anything to help," he said, voice painfully hoarse. Still, he let her lead him to a small breakfast nook next to a large window with more lacy white curtains. She snatched the green tablecloth away so he wouldn't bleed on it, and he rested his arm on top of the dark wood of the table.

Blood spurted in little pulses onto the wood. He hadn't realized he'd cut himself so deeply, and wondered if it was maybe a subconscious need to hurt himself. If that's why his claws stayed out, waiting for him to make a misstep like he just had. To punish himself for her death.

Shaking his head, he scoffed quietly at himself, watching as Alex came back from where the beds were with her arms full of first-aid materials. She dragged a chair closer to the one he was sitting in, and started to gently wipe away the blood. He gritted his teeth, ignoring how her hands burned him as she cleaned, then began to bind the wound.

Slowly winding strips of gauze around his forearm to secure the pads of absorbent cloth she'd placed on the claw marks, she said, "One thing I don't understand here is... well..."

"Why I'm here?" he supplied. When she gave him nothing more than a shrug, he said, "You know, you Hunters aren't the only ones willing to go to Hell for each other."

Her face darkened at his reminder, and she hastily tucked the tail of the bandages into the spiral, securing the length of cloth. He could feel as it continued to bleed under the bandaging. She sat back in her chair, arms crossed over her chest. He couldn't meet her gaze for very long.

"You're a Hellhound. You don't care about anything." She laughed. "At least, that's what the lore says. A mindless, savage beast."

He bared his teeth at her in a humorless smile. "Well, if you're such a damn expert, why don't you tell me how it happened. 'Cause I sure as fuck haven't got a clue."

"Who was she?" Alex asked curiously, her green eyes narrowed thoughtfully.

Sirius' chest caved in slightly, his head lowering as a million thoughts provoked by that question spun through his mind, leaving nothing but blood and agony in their wake.

At his silence, she furrowed her brow and said, "She must be someone pretty special if she can get a Hellhound and a Hunter to work together. So spill it. Why should I let my brother and my best friend risk their necks for some chick we don't even know?"

He didn't really have an answer for her. Caleb had been right. These people didn't owe him a single damn thing. And he didn't have the words to convince her. He didn't even have the words to convince himself.

Staring down at his hands, he realized that all he had was the fierce need to hold her again, and an oath to the darkest of entities that he would see the one who had taken her dead. He looked at the bands around his wrists, shackling him to a promise he meant to keep with every single, rotten thing inside of him.

With a small snort, she started to get up. His hand shot out, snatching around her wrist. Ignoring the way it burned him to hold onto her, he waited until she sat back down. Unable to bear it anymore, he released her with a small gasp, then said, "I could sit here and explain to you about how she saved his life when he was a kid. I could say that she sacrificed herself so that he didn't have to go to Hell. I could tell you that she's the lynch pin to one of the largest supernatural catastrophes that has ever happened to this world."

He trailed off into silence, wondering where in the hell he was going with this.

"So why don't you?" she prompted when the silence stretched a little too long.

Sirius flicked his eyes up to hers. "Because I know people. I can read them. I know that, while that might inspire some action from you, your brother's not going to give a damn about any of it. And I know you aren't going to do anything that he isn't willing to go along with."

She opened her mouth as if to protest, but he shook his head sharply, stopping her. Giving her a weak smirk, he said, "I've been around humans for too long. I've spent too long seeing them in their very last moments. Understanding how...cowardly and weak they are in the face of death. I've spent too long with my eyes open to the grander scheme of things."

Stiffly, her demeanor turning cold, she said, "Okay. Then what have you seen?"

"That she matters more than the, oh, six billion or so other humans on this stupid little rock. Not just to me. Her entire existence has been manipulated by things so far beyond your understanding that I wouldn't have enough time to explain it all." His tone grew harsher as he continued to speak. "If she stays down there too long, they'll get her to do what they want. She's strong, God she's strong, but no one can hold out forever. And that's what it feels like down there."

"You're not doing yourself many favors talking to me like that," she said, her voice nearly as harsh as his.

He lunged at her, his claws digging into the wooden back of her chair as he got in her face, keeping her trapped where she was. She smelled like lilies, freshly fallen snow and silver. Snarling, he said, "All you need to understand is that if we don't do every single fucking thing within our power to get her out of Hell, then the entire world dies." His grin sharpened, exposing his lengthening teeth. "But not before Caleb does."

Her eyes went wide and her face paled. She whispered, "What?"

He held his hands up in front of her face, and her eyes zeroed in on the bands of black around his wrists. Nastily, he said, "Caleb has a matching set. Do you know what these are?"

Swallowing hard, she shook her head slowly.

He grasped her chin, making sure not cut her, and forced her to look at him. His eyes and fingers immediately started to burn. Quietly, he said, "These are the result of an ancient blood-debt ritual. He's bound by it, just like I am. Would you like to guess what that means for Caleb?"

Alex glared at him, and tried to bring her foot up to kick him away, but he just placed his palm on top of her knee, shoving her leg back down. Whispering now, he said, "What it means, is that Caleb is bound to darkness. As in the entity. And if he doesn't hold up his end, the darkness will suck him dry and destroy his Soul. Got it?"

He let out a small, shocked breath when something bit into him, just under his ribs. Standing up, he looked down stupidly at the knife she had shoved into his stomach. With a sigh, he yanked it out and tossed it onto the table. Just a stainless-steel pocketknife. Nothing that would really hurt him.

But the distraction had given her enough time to bolt across the room and out the door. He could hear her sprinting down the hall. He made to follow her, sure she would lead him to Caleb and her brother, but was stopped dead.

Galloway's voice said, Well that was just stupid. You want these people to help you, Sirius. Not murder you. You can't do anything if you're just a Soul in Purgatory.

Sirius blew out a breath. "You've been in Hell for five days. Probably what feels like five years to you. I don't have the time to waste while they fucking figure out that this isn't just some stupid hunt. That you aren't just some stupid human who needs rescuing from the things that hide in the dark. Why don't they understand that?"

She snorted. He still couldn't see her. Her voice dry, she said, Your opinion of humanity is just sparkling. I can't hardly stand being around you when you're like this. I don't like nice people, remember?

"No," he muttered. "I'm the one who doesn't like nice people."

Yes, well, she said flippantly. I'm just a voice inside your head, remember?

"And I'm doing everything I possibly can to change that!" he cried. "I just... I can't do this by myself." He collapsed into the armchair, his face in his hands, claws pricking at his temples and jaw. Whispering, he said, "I can't... do all of this by myself. I can get into Hell and I could find you, but then what? You're not going to be in any shape to fight our way past the things that will need fighting against. I need them—"

To die for you? she asked, her voice neutral. To what, Sirius? Sacrifice themselves so that you can pull whatever is left of me out of that stinking hole? She was silent for a moment, then said, Theron might be right, you know. He might be able to twist everything around backwards and make me hate you. Make me want to kill you.

"No," he said sternly. "No, I'll get to you long before that."

Then find a way to work with them, she said with a sigh. Pick what matters more. The fact that you hate them, or the fact that you love me. Open your eyes to the fact that none of us can do this by ourselves. Not even you.

"I don't know if I can," he said quietly. When there was no response, he sighed, slumping farther into the seat.

He startled when the door burst open. Caleb looked around the room, then eyed him warily when he found Sirius alone, and said, "So we're talking back to her voice in your head now?"

Sirius just shrugged. Listlessly, he said, "So I guess Alex found you?"

Caleb's eyebrows pulled together sharply. "No," he said slowly, drawing out the word. "Is there a reason she should have?"

Sirius blew out a breath, the mint smell tickling his nose. "I scared her."

"What did you do?" Caleb asked, voice suddenly very cold.

"I told her what would happen to you if you didn't help me. Told her how the darkness would kill you. I scared her on purpose, because no isn't an answer I can accept from you people." Sirius' tone was flat, but there was a hurricane inside of his chest made of anger and anxiety and terrible sadness that kept trying to break his ribs apart.

Caleb's hands tightened into fists, and he shook with fury. Keeping his voice remarkably level, he asked, "Did you touch her?"

Sirius didn't really see the point in lying. The very idea of putting on a face of any kind—contrite, apologetic, false—was exhausting beyond anything he had ever done.

So he nodded. "A little."

Teeth clenched, Caleb demanded, "Did you hurt her?"

"No."

It wasn't a lie. He'd been very careful not to scratch or even bruise that delicate skin. If he was being honest, he was a little afraid of how badly her blood would burn him if he dared to spill it. Plus he realized that Galloway, or at least the insane little voice in his head, was right. He couldn't strong-arm these people into helping him.

He needed to find another angle.

Eyeing Caleb speculatively, he asked, "Are you still helping me?"

"I'm helping her," Caleb spat out viciously. Then he sighed and sat on the end of one of the beds, scrubbing a hand through his hair. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he said, "Look, mutt. Rick is already difficult enough to work with here. Touching his sister is a surefire way to land your ass in Hell the hard way."

Sirius choked on a laugh, and Caleb gave him a harsh stare. "What's so funny, Fido?"

"The fact that you people seem to think you can kill me without a fucking demon blade." Sirius leaned forward, leaving a small streak of black on the forest-green velvet of the chair he was sitting in. "Fun fact," he said, smiling at the Hunter. "You can only kill things from Hell with a blade from Hell."

Caleb frowned at him. "And you want to give one to us."

His smile dropped slightly, becoming a little more wry. "Yeah. I don't need a knife to kill a demon once we get to Hell. We just need one up here." His claws extended, razor edges glinting in the light from the lamp next to him. "Down there, these will work on just about everything, except certain gods."

"You're a cocky son of a bitch, you know that?" Caleb hissed under his breath, warily eyeing Sirius' claws.

Sirius stood up sharply and lifted the hem of his shirt, showing the tapestry of scars covering his chest and abdomen. Caleb stared blankly at the marred skin, and Sirius said, "I'm cocky because I've earned it. I've shed more blood than you and your two friends put together ever could. And I'll bleed again before this is over. But not because of you. Not if you want her out."

"Why don't you ever say her name?" Caleb asked suddenly.

Sirius closed his eyes. Choking a little, he said, "Galloway."

"That's not what I meant."

"Then ask what you want to know," Sirius snapped, his chest aching again.

"You really care about her that much? So much that it hurts to even say her name? Because I'm having a hard time believing it, after everything you did to her. After everything you put her through." Caleb's tone was cruel. Sirius was pretty sure it was on purpose.

He should know. He'd perfected the art of purposeful cruelty a long time ago.

Meeting the Hunter's gaze, he said, "I didn't hurt her any more than she ever hurt me." At Caleb's dry stare, he hissed, "Yes I fucking care about her that much. What part of 'I would go to Hell for her' don't you understand? What is it you need to hear or see or what the fuck ever before you can just get your ass on board?"

"Honestly I don't think there's a single thing you could say that would make me believe you."

Sirius' heart, or what was left of it, turned to ice. He stood up and started to the door, just to growl when the Hunter got in his way. He looked up at him, slightly irritated by how tall he was. In his opinion, it was a bit excessive.

Trying to keep his temper in check, he said, "Then why am I still here? If you and your friends aren't going to help, why'd you drag my ass all the way out here? Just let me go so I can do what I need to do." He went to move around Caleb, but he stepped in his way again. Sirius snarled, "Get out of my way, Caleb."

"No."

Sirius whirled on his heel and stalked to the window. It gave him a grim bit of pleasure to think that the Hunters would have to pay for the broken glass. But before he could do that, Caleb said, "Stop being such a bitch. Fuck you're dramatic. You already know that I have to help you, so what's the deal with the little show?"

He closed his eyes for a second, then turned slowly to find the Hunter leaning back against the door, arms crossed. A flash of amusement crossed his features, and Sirius' hackles rose.

Was this just some sort of fucking joke to him?

Caleb walked across the room. "I just want to make sure you're for real about this. I'm not going to drag them into this just to have you bail on us when we're in Hell."

Sirius blinked slowly, his foul mood spiking as his words sunk in. He didn't enjoy getting played with like this.

The Hunter narrowed his eyes, and said, "Rick doesn't seem to have a problem with what it'll take to get that demon blade." He smirked. "Unlucky for you, Rick's not the one calling the shots."

Sirius started to snarl a response, but Caleb stopped him. Giving him a grave look, the Hunter said, "Don't do things that will make you what you actually are. Act like that thing she thinks you are."

This stopped him cold.

Then, he said, "You've got... three days to make this work. We don't have four gallons by then, we're doing it my way."

Caleb started to argue, but he snapped, "She's already been down there five days. Now, I would rather explain to her how I killed four people, than explain why I left her down there for forty or fifty years."

The Hunter blanched, and Sirius turned back toward the window, eyes stinging. Softly, he said, "She knew what kind of monster I am, Caleb."

When the Hunter didn't say anything in response, Sirius shook his head, cradling his injured arm to his chest. With a sigh, he said, "You seem to have the wrong impression. I don't want to go around killing people, I just don't care if I have to. If you can get four gallons out of twelve demons in three days, more power to you."

"You don't think we can?" Caleb asked.

Sirius looked over his shoulder, his face blank, tone neutral. "I think you forget that demons don't care either."