"Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it."

- Elizabeth Wurtzel

                                                                                                ***

It took more time than Sirius felt they had to convince the others that this was the only way.

"Splitting up is a terrible idea," Alex argued. "It was terrible the first time you suggested it and it didn't work. Why in the hell would it work this time?"

Sirius sighed through his nose, ignoring how the rocky ground dug into his back. Uncomfortable as it was, it still felt amazing to simply rest. He stared up at the dead, grey sky, mulling over how he wanted to respond. She was right, which annoyed him more than anything else, but it couldn't be helped. Finally, he turned his head to find her sitting cross-legged beside Logan, cleaning and bandaging what looked like teethmarks on his forearm.

The witch needed to save his strength.

"Unless you've mastered the art of being in two places at once, that's what needs to happen," Sirius replied. Groaning slightly, he propped himself up onto his elbows, meeting Rhys' stony glare. "Personally, I've never managed it but by all means, if you can do it, be my guest."

Alex scowled at him before turning her attention back to Logan, making him wince when she knotted the bandage a little too aggressively. Sirius took that as a no and lay back down. The walls of the canyon rising up around him made the sky seem somehow closer.

"I know it's not particularly original and not particularly smart. That's not the part of the plan that has to be all that clever anyway." Which, of course, implied that some of his plan was supposed to be clever. The more he thought about it, the less he liked it, but he was perilously thin on options.

And the others seemed to sense it, like blood in the water.

"Is there any part that's actually supposed to be clever?" Rhys asked from where he was sitting on Logan's other side. His voice was flat, devoid of any of its usual mockery or amusement.

Sirius draped his arm over his eyes, blocking out any trace of the pale light. He would have ground his teeth in agitation if his jaw wasn't already so sore. As it was, he just let out another long sigh. Rhys already knew the answer to that, seeing as he actually played a key role in what was supposed to be the clever bit.

"I just don't see why we can't pool our resources," Alex said, the scrape of sand on rock making Sirius' ears twitch as she shifted position. "After what you said about how that place is, it doesn't seem like we'll really need a distraction. We just need to more or less hide in plain sight."

"Did they keep you in the pits the whole time?" Logan asked, his voice tentative. Sirius moved his arm, looking over at Rhys. He knew Logan wasn't talking to him.

Rhys' hands floated unconsciously up to his stomach, like he could still feel the knife carving into him. His eyes turned hollow and his skin—which was already pale—turned waxen. He swallowed hard, like he was trying not to be sick. He kept his gaze firmly on the rocky ground when he began to speak. "Not the whole time. Apparently, even demons get tired of the same show."

Well that was interesting. Sirius forced himself to sit up, his battered body grumbling at the movement. It was more than ready to return to Hell so it could heal properly. "Where did they keep you?"

Rhys blinked at him, looking perplexed. "You don't remember?"

"Why would I remember where you were?" Sirius asked, anger beginning to pluck a steady refrain along his nerves. Again. "I was having a hard enough time remembering where I was."

That wasn't exactly true—he'd always known where he was. It was just the finer details that had slipped past him. They hadn't mattered.

"You were never awake," Rhys conceded. "They'd bring you back, covered in blood and then you wouldn't so much as move until they'd come and get you again. It pissed Rick off."

Something uncomfortable jolted through him at that. He had a foggy memory of hearing a familiar voice calling his name during his time under Hades' enchantment, but he'd simply chalked that up to wishful thinking and mind games. 

"To be fair," Alex said dryly, "most things piss my brother off."

That didn't make Sirius feel any better. He didn't like the idea of Rick's anger being on his behalf rather than simply aimed at him. It made his insides churn with something hot and unpleasant. Something kind of like guilt, but not the dreadful sort he'd felt because of Galloway's death. He didn't know why there had to be more than one flavor of the wretched emotion.

"So they kept you down in the cages?" he said, trying to drive toward some sort of point, and away from the things he could no longer deny. "The ones beneath the arena?"

"I guess?" Rhys shrugged. "If we weren't unconscious, we were blindfolded."

"Why?" Logan asked, picking at the bandage Alex had put on him. "Why bother if you weren't going to be able to get out by yourself?"

"Theatricality." Sirius snorted. "Fear of the unknown. To make you feel like you have no idea what the fuck is going on while he knows everything. Really the possibilities are endless."

"He?" Alex stood, wincing as she pressed a hand to her injured ribs.

"Hades," Sirius growled. His breath shortened as his body remembered what it felt like to be rendered immobile against its owner's wishes. 

He was completely helpless before Hades. He had never been able to wrestle control back—he didn't even know if he could, even if he'd broken away from Hades in that vision or dream or whatever it was that Logan's magic had plunged him into. And while some of his dreams lately had stretched toward the realm of reality, that was a fantasy so impossible even he couldn't delude himself into believing it.

Because of that, he was the weakest link in the chain.

Looking up, he found Rhys giving him a narrow-eyed stare. By the slightly glazed look the witch was giving him, Sirius knew he was broadcasting again, but he was almost too tired to care. He wandered along the wall surrounding his mind, shoring up a few of the bigger cracks, but he could practically feel as things slipped through. Rhys' expression turned grim, his gaze contemplative.

"We can't just rush in, Sirius," he said quietly. "That'll get everyone dead."

"We don't—"

"Have time," Rhys finished for him. The witch stood, wincing as he pushed himself upright. "I know what Hades showed you. But it might not be real. He might just be pushing you into a panic so you'll do something stupid and bring him exactly what he wants." He gave Alex a pointed glance at that, making the Hunter bristle.

Sirius was fairly certain that he was way past panic at this point. Hades couldn't make him any more frightened than he already was, but just because he was scared didn't mean he wasn't thinking clearly. Fear had always sharpened his senses—it was usually a foreign concept to his cells, so when it came, everything in him came to sudden, abrupt attention. He forced himself to his feet, his knees wanting to buckle with the effort.

He had been pushing too hard for too long. Even Hellhounds were susceptible to exhaustion and he had been testing the limits for months now. He simply couldn't bear to stop, though. Stopping might lead to quitting and if he quit, he'd die—it was just a matter of whether he'd do it fast or slow.

"Look," he finally said with a sigh, sounding thoroughly defeated even to his own ears, "I know it's not great. I know there are about a million ways this can fail. But I don't see any other way. None of you have offered up another option, which tells me you know there isn't anything else we can do, you just don't like it. Fine. You don't have to like it. Hell, I don't like it. But, as I'm sure we all know damn well, we don't always get to do what we want."

He stopped and looked around at them. A shrug made pain tingle down his spine. After this was over, he was staying in bed for a month. Preferably with Galloway. But, he also supposed being dead would be just as restful, if not quite as pleasant.

"I'm going with or without you." He looked at Alex as he spoke. "But I'm not the only one missing something here. This is the only way we have a chance of getting them out." By the way she blanched, he knew that was a low blow. He could only hope it would sway her.

"A snowball's chance," Logan muttered unhappily. He tugged once more at the bandage around his forearm and stood with a grimace.

Sirius offered a grim smile. "As per usual. Hasn't ever stopped any of us before."

"Because we're stupid," Rhys said. "Or crazy."

"Crazy's slightly more useful." Sirius glanced around at all of them again. "Does that mean we can go now?"

Rhys sighed, his gaze drifting toward Logan. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

The other witch just rolled down the sleeve of his shirt, covering the bandages. He lifted one shoulder in a despondent shrug. "I don't even know if I can get back into Hell. I said I'd never go back."

Sirius grimaced. The only hiccup—aside from himself and his own shortcomings—in his plan was the witch. He met Logan's dark eyes. "Did you just say it, or did you swear it?"

"I just said it."

"How exactly?"

Thankfully, the witches knew exactly how important the precision of words was in their world. Logan shifted uncomfortably. "I said I would never come back. Since Rh—" He stopped and took a steadying breath. "Since Rhys' blood wasn't any good to open the gate anyway, they didn't do much to stop me from taking him. But they made it clear that if I came back to Hell, or  if I poked my nose in Hell's business again, I'd pay for it."

"You don't have to take this risk," Alex said softly. "You don't have to—"

"I'm already paying for what I did," Logan cut her off, voice hoarse. He let his gaze flick to his brother, then to Sirius. "We're all paying for it."

Sirius looked down. Sure they were all paying, but of the three of them, Logan was certainly the least guilty. And he was loathe to drag Logan any farther into danger than he already had. 

She would be pissed once she found out what he'd done. And if he could have managed it, the only one Sirius would have dragged back into Hell with him would have been Rhys and maybe Caydryn. 

Which reminded him...

"We've spent enough time here," he said. He glanced at Rhys. "Our Fair friend is probably getting antsy out there if he hasn't already left." He looked at Logan. "You're going to have to drop the shield you put up." 

The witches stared blankly at him for a moment, then glanced at each other. They seemed to come to the same consensus. Rhys lifted an eyebrow, mouth twisting into a concerned line. "You were with Caydryn?"

Sirius' brow furrowed. "Couldn't you tell he was with me?"

"You were the only one to hit the barrier," Logan said slowly. He gave an apologetic shrug. "I wasn't fast enough to get it down. I didn't... I couldn't tell if there was anyone else with you."

Sirius turned to Rhys. "You didn't hear him?"

"I can't read him unless he lets me. I can't tell if he's nearby or not," Rhys said. Then he turned to Logan. "How long will it take to dismantle?"

"Not long," Logan said with a shrug. "I just needed something to warn and incapacitate long enough for Alex to deal with. Are we ready to go? Because things will come running as soon as I take it down. They've been after Alex since we got here."

Alex wrinkled her nose in annoyance, but didn't contradict him. Sirius wasn't terribly surprised. She was a bright little light in a pitch-black world. Of course every hungry thing in here had been after her. And that explained why she was looking a little rougher around the edges than Logan.

"We're ready," Alex finally said when everyone looked at her. She rolled her eyes, picking up a double-bladed axe that had been leaning against the wall of the canyon. The head appeared to be made from chipped obsidian, but Sirius knew it was something far more useful. She caught his eye and gave him a small grin. "At least I got something nice out of all this."

Sirius couldn't help the small snort that provoked. Sometimes he forgot that he did actually like Hunters—they really were his kind of people. When they weren't trying to kill him at any rate. 

They turned as Logan took a few steps toward the mouth of the canyon. A short, silver-bladed knife appeared in his hand and he shoved his sleeve up, tracing a careful cut across his forearm. Alex scowled, then blinked in surprise when Logan mumbled a few words in Latin. The blood disappeared, leaving nothing in its wake but a raw scar. Logan cut himself again, another incantation whispering through the air, fueled by his blood.

This went on for a few more moments with no noticeable effect. Then, the air in front of Sirius seemed to shimmer and twist in on itself. His ears popped as the spell dispersed.

Logan shut his eyes, flexing his fingers with a grimace. "I hate using blood," he muttered, returning the knife to its place at his belt. He gingerly tugged his sleeve back down, then peered down the long corridor of stone. "Your friend's not here."

Tilting his head back, Sirius scented the air, but the witch was right. Caydryn was long gone.

"Would he have continued looking for you?" Alex asked, idly swinging the axe back and forth, making the blades whistle through the still air. "Would he be able to sense Logan's magic?"

All Sirius could offer was a shrug. He didn't really know what the prince would do. As soon as he'd seen Sirius collapse and disappear, he certainly wouldn't have continued to venture down the canyon. He didn't know if the prince's magic would have been able to untangle Logan's, or if the prince would have even cared to try.

A sudden chill trickled down his spine and he looked at Rhys. "He knew I needed Alex's blood. I never told him I needed her blood."

Both Logan and Alex seemed to pale slightly at that, though Sirius couldn't tell if that was because of what he was insinuating or the mention of Alex's blood.

Rhys pursed his lips. "The Seelie Court doesn't like the dark gods. They side too often with the Unseelie."

"That didn't seem to bother him when he was there watching you get torn apart," Sirius retorted.

The idea that Caydryn might be working with Hades had crossed his mind a few times since he'd found the prince standing bloodied in that field full of dead werewolves. But it had never seemed to quite add up when he really considered it. Hades didn't need the help of some Fae princeling to make sure Sirius did what he was supposed to do. And he could never work out what exactly Caydryn would get out of working for the dark god either.

The Fae Folk liked demons even less than they liked humans, and they didn't care at all for any of the gods, not just the Underworld deities. 

Rhys ran a hand through his hair, the silver strands turned a steel-grey by the dim light. A weary look passed over his face. "I don't know. As a general rule I tend not to trust things I meet in Hell. All we really know is he was here and now he's not and I doubt any of us want to waste the time looking for him."

"He can get out by himself," Sirius said, not sure he'd meant to sound so relieved.

Rhys beckoned to the others as he began walking. "Then let's go find the portal back into Hell." As he trudged past Sirius, he muttered, "Three strikes and you're out, Fido. If this doesn't work, someone else needs to start calling the shots."

"Or what?" Sirius asked dryly. "You'll mutiny?"

Rhys shrugged. "It wouldn't be the first time."

                                                                                      ~~~

The trek to find the portal to Hell seemed to stretch weirdly, time crawling by in sluggish dollops that never seemed to bring with it any actual momentum. To Sirius, it felt a bit like they were stumbling around in circles, but he supposed that was the point. Hell might be easy to access, but that didn't mean Purgatory was easy to leave.

Eventually, the stink of brimstone overwhelmed the pungent scent of decay. They were here. Sirius stared morosely at the portal, watching as licks of darkness danced through the grey air. Alex was eyeing it uneasily, cringing away like it repulsed her. Sirius supposed the evil and death locked away behind it were easier to sense here than they had been at the portal in Wyoming.

Rhys was staring morosely at the entrance to Hell. "I hate this part." Then before Sirius could stop him, the witch flung himself through the portal. 

Swearing under his breath, Sirius followed him, diving through the portal just as a scream rang out behind him. He tried to turn, to go back, but the world had gone slippery around him. Hell's magic crashed over him like a wave of water, blurring his vision and sloshing against his skin.

He stumbled forward, his legs meeting something solid at about knee-height that sent him tumbling forward. Sirius curled into a ball and rolled harmlessly across the ground, sprawling out when he stopped moving. He blinked hard, scrubbing at his eyes to clear them and craned his head backwards to peer at the portal.

Instantly, he realized that Rhys was the thing he'd fallen over. The witch was curled up in a little ball, his breath heaving in and out in jagged shards. Sirius lay watching him for a moment, knowing he should say something—do something—to pull the witch out of whatever the portal's magic had done to him. But he had bigger worries.

He sat up, his skin itching as the myriad abrasions, bruises and cuts he'd sustained in Purgatory finally began to heal. All he could do was watch the portal, Alex's scream ringing in his head. Something had snuck up on them, its scent masked by the stench of Hell. It had jumped her just as he'd gone through the doorway.

Rhys' breath began to calm and the witch pushed himself up into a sitting position, his eyes so wide Sirius was afraid they might fall out of his head. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. His hands trembling, he raked his fingers through his hair, the silver strands sparking in the firelight that danced along the walls.

They were back in another tunnel. Sirius' gaze flickered around, but he couldn't tell where they were. The portal had always deposited him in one of Hell's lower rings, so he guessed they were closer to the pits than was strictly comfortable, but were more or less where they needed to be, either way.

"This place is going to kill me," Rhys suddenly croaked. His head was buried in his hands, his fingers clutching at his silver-streaked hair. 

Sirius blinked, then squinted at him. Finally, he shook his head. "Don't be so dramatic. It didn't kill you before, it won't this time. It just feels that way."

The witch looked up and glared at him. "There are more of them."

"More...what?" Sirius said blankly, but he had a creeping feeling that he knew what Rhys was talking about. He could only wonder how the witch had noticed.

Rhys grabbed a chunk of his hair, making the silver threads glimmer. "I wasn't born like this, Sirius. Nearly dying sapped the color, and more are cropping up. This place is killing me. I can feel it."

No response came readily to Sirius' mind. All he could do was look at the damning evidence of the bleached strands of hair. He was saved when the pressure in the tunnel dropped, sucking the air from his lungs and Alex came flying through the portal, quickly followed by Logan.

Rhys scrambled to his brother, while Alex tumbled to a stop at Sirius' feet. He crouched down to make sure she was okay. Blood trickled from a slash on her cheek and her hair had been torn free of its ponytail and hung in limp, dirty waves around her face. She sucked in a single breath as she stared up at him, looking slightly bewildered. It came out as a sob.

Before he could stop her, she'd thrown herself into his arms, crying into his shoulder. Startled, Sirius' body reacted before his mind could and he pulled her closer, holding her like he'd once held Galloway, the few times she had let herself shed tears in his presence.

Her fingers knotted into his shirt. Shuddering, she whispered, "They always leave. They always leave and eventually they're not going to come back." A fresh wave of tears wracked her, making Sirius instinctively hold her tighter, his fingers stroking her filthy hair. "I won't even be able to find their bodies," she moaned. "I won't even know how they die. I'll just be left alone."

It burned where her skin touched his, but he couldn't force himself to pull away from her.

"No one's dying," he murmured. "We know where they are. It'll be your turn to save them."

Those were the magic words. Alex pressed her face into his shoulder for a moment longer, then loosened her hold on him. He pulled her to her feet, looking away while she scrubbed the tears from her face. She gently clasped his wrist in what he assumed was thanks before she just began walking, leading the way down the tunnel.

Like brother, like sister.

Sirius blew out an annoyed sigh and snagged her elbow, stopping her. He glanced once at the brothers to find them at least both on their feet if not exactly ready. Rhys was still tugging distractedly at his hair, like he could tell the difference between the silver and black strands by touch alone. Logan was watching him, his mouth in a thin, worried line, but turned his head when he felt Sirius' eyes on him.

He nodded once, sharply and prodded at Rhys' side, getting him moving.

Sirius stepped in front of Alex, ignoring how she kept her head down and her face hidden. It was her grief to deal with, he couldn't make it any better. No one had ever been able to for him.

He squeezed his eyes shut for a brief moment, resigning himself to one last trek through the dark.

I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update. The story kind of went slippery on me, but I think I've got it back in my hands. I've come to realize I just have a problem writing transition chapters, it's usually where I tend to stall. But, I think I've got the ending firmly in mind, so I'm going to spend most of my writing energy on this project (sorry to those of you who read any of my other works!) trying to finish this story!

Thank you all so much for your patience and support. It means the world to me that you put up with all the insane things I do with this story.