It had been weeks since Laureen read the messages from Aston's phone, but it was still inside her head. Now, she was wondering what were the latest words about her. Hindi naman siya ganito noon. Ang motto niyang pasok sa tainga, labas sa kabila ay hindi niya na-a-apply ngayon.

Sanay naman siyang nakaririnig ng mga ganoon, pero hindi niya maalis sa isip niya kung ano pa ang sinasabi ng iba. A part of her wanted their approval, too... but it was next to impossible since the cousins already had a bad impressions of her. Paulit-ulit din niyang iniisip kung ano ba ang nagawa niya sa mga ito.

"LJ?" pagkuha ni Hannah sa atensyon niya. "Kanina pa kita tinatawag, eh. Okay ka lang ba?"

Tumango si Laureen at hinaplos ang gilid ng noo niya. "Oo. Medyo masakit lang ang ulo ko," pagsisinungaling niya.

"Magpahinga ka muna kaya? Ilang araw ka na rin overworked. Kaya naman namin dito sa office. Umuwi ka muna para makapgpahinga ka. Sabi ni Nanay, hindi ka raw kumain ng breakfast kaya nagpabili na lang ako sa café," ani Hannah na nakatingin sa kaniya. "Kaya namin dito, J."

Umiling siya at ngumiti. "I can work. Uminom ako ng gamot kanina."

Hindi na muling nagsalita si Hannah dahil alam naman niton hindi rin magpapatinag si Laureen. Matigas kasi ang ulo at minsang hindi nakikinig pagdating sa pagpapahinga. Everyone knew that Laureen would still work even with the storm or even when sick. Naging pruweba nila ang pagkakahulog nito sa kabayo at hindi man lang nagpatinag dahil kung hindi pa dumating si Aston, malamang na nagtatrabaho pa rin.

Laureen and Hannah had to meet a client in the nearby café. To Hannah's surprise, Laureen ordered a triple shot of Espresso without anything. She knew that whenever Laureen needed that much caffeine, she was either stressed or not in the mood to do anything and needed a boost.

Hannah didn't say a word or react. The client arrived, and Hannah was busy taking notes of the conversation between Laureen and a possible business partner for one of Laureen's business ventures. The woman never gets tired of businesses, Hannah thought. Hindi na siya nagugulat at hindi na bago sa kaniya sa tuwing mayroon silang kikitaing tao dahil posibleng mayroon na namang nakikitang investment si Laureen.

Nang makaalis ang kausap ni Laureen, umiling si Hannah at natawa. Tumingin sa kaniya si Laureen.

"Hindi ka talaga napapagod, 'no?" sabi ni Hannah na nakaharap sa laptop. "Alam mo, mag-asawa ka na kaya para mawala na sa isip mo ang mga business? Ang dami mong businesses and investments, LJ!"

Tipid na ngumiti si Laureen at nilingon ang glass wall na kita ang kalsadang wala namang masyadong dumaraan dahil medyo tago ang café, pero marami pa ring tao sa loob. Isa-isa niyang pinanood ang mga taong naglalakad at hindi sinagot ang sinabi ni Hannah.

"Puwede bang mag-stay muna tayo rito sa café?" tanong ni Hannah. "Ang ganda ng ambiance rito. Ang sarap ng amoy. Please? Kahit another hour?"

"Oo naman," sabi ni Laureen. "Mag-work ka ba? Relax ka muna. Makikinig na rin muna ako sa music or manonood muna ako ng movie. I like it here, too."

But the movie didn't happen. She started listening to music while browsing her photos. Bigla niyang na-miss ang Baler at naisip na baka uuwi siya roon sa susunod na linggo. Tiningnan niya ang calendar at nakitang wala siyang masyadong task sa mga susunod na araw. Walang meeting, walang harvest, at chill lang naman ang buong hacienda. Her investments will just work its wonders and her presence wasn't needed.

Laureen had a social media account but rarely used it. Ginagamit lang niya iyon para tingnan ang bagong post ni Julien para kay Lucien o kaya ni Koa para sa Baler at sa inaanak niyang si Gali. Wala ring laman ang profile niya at last year pa ang huling post niya, picture pa nga ni Lucien.

"Lucien's getting bigger," she chuckled. "Grabe."

"Sumunod ka na raw kasi." Hannah smiled at her. "Wala ka pa rin bang balak magkaanak? Kahit anak lang? Hindi naman sa pine-pressure kita, but you're on your 30's."

Umiling si Laureen. "You'll know naman 'pag ready na 'kong magkaanak. Tatanggalin ko na ang birth control ko and you'll know kasi ikaw ang magse-set ng appointment sa OB-GYNE ko."

"Grabe. For some reason, looking forward ako riyan. Sa ilang taon nating magkaibigan at magkatrabaho, may parteng gusto kong makita na hindi ka na busy sa trabaho. You've been working so hard lately, Laureen Juliana. What if pilitin na kitang mag-asawa."

Mahinang natawa si Laureen at umiling. "I'm not sure about that part. I'm even planning on breaking up with As—"

Tumigil siya sa pagsasalita nang ma-realize ang sinabi niya. Hindi niya balak sabihin iyon kay Hannah, pero bigla na lang lumabas sa bibig niya dahil iyon ang pinag-iisipan niya buong maghapon, kahit na kagabi pa.

"B-Bakit?" Gulat na nakatingin si Hannah sa kaniya. "May nangyari ba?"

Laureen was quiet for a moment, observing people inside the café before facing Hannah, who closed her laptop.

"LJ, ano'ng nangyayari?" muling tanong ni Hannah. "Alam kong hindi ka magsasabi, pero gusto kong malaman kung bakit mo biglang naisip 'yan? Biglaan ba o matagal mo nang pinag-iisipan?"

"This week," pag-aamin ni Laureen. "I don't know. I feel like we're not working anymore? Hindi ko alam... parang ayoko nang patagalin pa kung ganito naman ang nararamdaman ko. I don't wanna be a burden. Parang hindi ako sure sa sarili ko sa mga susunod pa at ayoko siyang idamay dahil ako mismo, hindi ko alam kung ano ang gusto ko."

Naningkit ang mga mata ni Hannah habang nakatingin sa kaniya. "What triggered?"

Wala siyang balak sabihin ang tungkol sa group chat, pero parte iyon kung bakit.

"Mom asked me about my five or ten-year plan—I don't remember... and it got me thinking that I don't even know the answer. Natatakot akong maulit ang sa 'min ni Travis. Aston's still young and... ayokong magsayang pa siya ng ilang taon sa 'kin... 'tapos ako walang plano," pagpapatuloy ni Laureen. "I don't wanna make the same mistake again. Being in a relationship with him is already a mis—"

"Hindi mistake ang relationship n'yo, LJ," diin ni Hannah. "Mahal mo si Aston, alam ko. Nakikita ko naman, e. Pero why not try talking to him about it? Mas okay na maaga pa, mapag-usapan n'yo na kesa iniisip mong mag-give up na lang sa relationship n'yo."

As always, Laureen wouldn't respond to something without an answer. Instead of saying a word, she looked at every face inside the café, trying to study every emotion, reaction, and movement. Hindi rin niya alam, but it was interesting for her to read facial expressions whenever she had the chance... dahil siya mismo, alam niyang tago ang emotions at expressions niya na hindi madaling makita ng iba.

Ipinagpasalamat niya na kahit sa loob ng sasakyan pabalik sa Baesa, hindi na muling nagtanong si Hannah. Pareho silang bumalik sa trabaho bago umuwi. Gusto niyang malibang. Gusto niyang mawala sa isip niya si Aston... gusto niyang mawala sa isip niya ang pakikipaghiwalay kay Aston. Kahit na nasa bahay na, nagtatrabaho pa rin siya. Nang maburyo, nagbasa siya ng libro.

Sandali silang nagkausap ni Aston dahil kasama nito ang mga pinsan kaya hindi na rin siya nag-message, pero maraming tumatakbo sa isip niya. Hindi niya maintindihan, pero walang katahimikan ang utak niya nitong mga nakaraan.

It was almost eleven in the evening and she was still awake. Her mind was in total chaos. She decided to cook steak. Mabuti na lang din at mayroong stock. Nakita rin niya ang cake na bigay ng isang client sa kaniya kaya inilabas din niya iyon.

Habang kumakain siya, pumasok si Manang Tess sa loob ng dining. Mukhang nagising lang at hawak ang lalagyan ng tubig.

"Oh, nagluto ka pala. Nagutom ka ba?" tanong nito.

"Opo. Bakit po nagising ka, Manang?"

"Alam mo na. Tumatanda na," ngumiti si Manang Tess. "Ikaw talaga. Bakit steak ang kinain mo? Mamayang matutulog ka, mahihirapan kang matunawan niyan. Matutulog ka na ba mamaya? Manood ka muna nang movie at masama ang natutulog kapag sobrang busog."

Umiling siya at natawa. "Hindi pa rin po ako inaantok. Working pa rin po ako, pero ikaw, Manang... matul—"

Sabay nilang nilingon ni Manang Tess ang bukas na glass door ng dining room dahil sa malakas na liparan ng mga dahon ng puno at halaman malapit sa bahay. Nanlaki ang mga mata niya nang ma-realize kung ano ang nangyayari.

"Napapadalas ang punta ni Aston dito ng naka-helicopter ha," natawa si Manang Tess. "Iiwanan na kita. Ikaw na ba ang bahala sa kaniya?"

"O-Opo..." nauutal na sagot niya. "Good night po, Manang."

Nang makalabas si Manang Tess ng dining room, kaagad niyang tiningnan ang phone niya. Wala namang message sa kaniya si Aston na pupunta ito sa kaniya. Nakita niyang nag-scene ito sa huling message niya, pero hindi nag-reply.

Iniwan niya ang kinakain at lumabas ng bahay. Kaagad niyang nakita ang chopper na nakalapag na sa gitna ng hacienda at sakto namang kabababa lang ni Aston. Suot nito ang puting longsleeve na nakatupi ang manggas hanggang sa may siko at slacks na itim.

Laureen stayed at the front door, waiting for Aston. She saw him walking calmly, but his eyes were glued to her. Before she could say anything, her boyfriend's jaw tightened.

"That's the third break-up text in the past two weeks, Laureen," Aston uttered while walking towards her. "And you're not giving me an explanation. Ano ang problema natin, Love?"

"What are you doing here?" Laureen crossed her arms and calmly asked. "It's almost midnight."

Aston frowned and squinted. "What do you mean? You're breaking up with me... again."

Imbes na sumagot, tinalikuran niya si Aston at saka pumasok sa loob ng bahay. Narinig niya ang yabag nito na nakasunod sa kaniya, pero hindi nagsasalita. Dumiretso siya sa dining room kung saan naiwan ang phone. Exactly two hours after sending that message, Aston arrived.

"Nagsayang ka na naman ng gas ng chopper." Hinarap niya si Aston. "I am serious about that message, Aston. I really am breaking up with you."

Aston breathed and relaxed his shoulders. Laureen saw that. There were no facial reactions, emotions, or words—nothing. She didn't know if she should explain or what. Aston was staring at her as if waiting for more.

Laureen sighed and shook her head. She looked down and thought about all the words she planned to say to Aston. Marami siyang dahilan, marami siyang gustong maging dahilan, pero ngayong magkaharap na sila, hindi niya alam kung paano sisimulan.

She wanted to say something.

Aston was right. It was a third break-up message. The first two were immediately brushed off. Naging busy siya, naging busy si Aston para pag-usapan iyon. Nadaan nila sa conversation over the phone, it was fixed right away.

Sinalubong niya ang tingin ni Aston na nakatingin pa rin sa kaniya. Malamlam ang mga mata nito, mukhang inaantok na rin, hindi niya alam. It was almost midnight or maybe it was already midnight, she just didn't realize.

Nilingon ni Aston ang pagkaing nakahain sa dining table bago ibinalik ang tingin sa kaniya.

"I don't think we won't work anymore, Aston. With all the responsibilities and people around us, tayo mismo... ako mismo. My mind is... hindi ko alam if we're still going to w—"

Laureen stopped talking when Aston walked towards her. Again, no words... but Aston carefully pulled her for a hug. Her face was into Aston's chest, and she could smell his perfume mixed with his manly scent.

...and for a moment, she felt at ease. It was as if all the high walls immediately started to crash; the glass walls between them shattered, the ice melted, and the storm cleared. The gushing wind felt calm, the rain stopped pouring, and the cold became warm and gentle. She didn't know how to describe it, but it felt different.

She didn't know she needed that warmth until Aston embraced her. Hindi niya inaasahan na iyon ang kailangan niya. Hindi naman bago sa kaniya ang yakap, pero hindi niya maintindihan kung bakit kumalma ang isip niya. Hirap na hirap na siya dahil ang gulo-gulo na.

For days... no, for weeks... she wanted to be like a hermit crab because life had been overwhelming recently. She wanted to be alone, to bury herself where no one could see her, to be just by herself. She didn't want to receive calls or anything. She just wanted to lie down and sleep.

Being alone felt soothing... not until she was inside these two manly arms wrapped around her small frame.

She could feel the warmth, and all the thoughts inside her head vanished. For a moment, it became quiet. It was so peaceful that she felt sleepy. She didn't move at all. She wasn't even hugging Aston back... she was just inside his arms, pressing against his.

"Gusto mo pa rin bang makipaghiwalay?" Aston asked while stroking her hair using his fingertips.

She nodded in response.

A loud sigh escaped Aston's lips and she felt the heaviness on his chest. "Itulog mo muna. Kapag paggising mo mamayang umaga at gusto mo pa rin, saka natin pag-usapan." 

—
T H E X W H Y S
www.thexwhys.com

Note: I know some of you are pissed na kay Laureen. Don't worry, same. Hahaha! Sa patreon and hideout, nasa Chapter 24 na kami. You'll get there, too... pero baka last update ko na muna yung chapter 15 bukas if ever and baka sa 3rd week na 'ko babalik here sa Wattpad. 

Thank you for reading this story!