IN THE PLANE.

There are times where all you want to do is merge with the thing closest to you and look as invisible as you can be, that is how Amirah felt sitting on the plane beside Imad. No questions, she didn't know how they ended up sitting close to one another but it just happened which reminds her a lot of what has happened to them three years ago. They were young adults sitting close to one another excited to start their honeymoon in a foreign country.

Only for it to yaw into an obsidian disaster!

Right in front of them is a woman in her late twenties talking animatedly with Imad. Since it is business class, the chairs are facing one another so they can easily interact with each other. She had no idea where Lateefa and Kamilah ran off to after they boarded the plane so she was forced to sit beside Imad. That is close to a nightmare since he only acknowledged her with a nod of his head. No Ms. Adam.

She heard Imad's deep chortle and immediately clench her thigh together. Oh God, she has missed that sound that makes her heart hijack. Seriously, how did she live so long without him and his bad sense of humour? She has no idea but one thing she is now sure of is, she never stopped loving her ex husband. It was just the distance doing the trick for her and now that he is close, she cannot help it.

The other woman she grasped her name as Averil snorted out a laugh too, totally keeping any ladylike etiquette and useless protocols. She is really beautiful too, makes Amirah wonder why she got into Imad at first sight. Granted, Imad had always managed to raise the flag whenever he is around a woman, that is just how he is. Or maybe because of the royal blood flowing through his body? It makes him confident and stand out all the time, it extracts attention from all the species there to him. It comes naturally with him.

Averil stood tall around five ft eight, her long blonde hair that looks to be made of bottle is tied in a cute ponytail, allowing tendrils to roll down the sides of her oval shaped sexy face. Her eyes are light brown, remind you of caramel and they are also warm. It perfected her tan skin though it does not look natural too. She looks naturally pale and the tanned skin is from sunbathing and other bottle stuff rubbed all over to darken it.

All over, Averil is gorgeous and pretty that could pass up as a model. From the bits of their conversation, she heard that she was a model before she quitted. She stopped listening when she got jealous of how close she seems to be talking with Imad and how comfortable she looks. Why is everyone just close to her boss and just not her? What do they have that she doesn't?

'A vermin heart filled with onyx peril, sweetheart' Amirah shut down her inner voice, not willing to backtrack into the past when she just gave hers

"You know, heartbreak is a bitch." Amirah heard Averil started so she meandered her whole attention to her, keeping her enviness and jealousy aside. Looking at her again leaning against the window in the plane, she looks like the kind of women Imad would go after. It makes her feel plain all over again, dammit!

She has tried stopping her mind from reeling such things in her head because she does not want to be insecure in her own skin. How they just ruin that all the damn time because of Imad? Is it because he was the one who carved her out from those damned thoughts and made her feel beautiful?

'More reasons to depose yourself'

Amirah concentrated, wanting to hear what Imad's reply will be to heartbreak being a bitch. Would he admit to the love he once had for her or brush her off again?

Instead, he gave a small smile to Averil, watching her slumped expression and said. "Been through one?"

Amirah held back an exasperated breath! He always manage to do this thing time and time again. He is blocking their past without even struggling to do so, it is effortless and sometimes she thinks he is not the Imad she was with. All the seams illuminating through their past is blocked by him. He is recalcitrant, she's always known that but didn't know to what extent. She does now!

She didn't get too deep into her self loathe when Averil stood straighter, ready to narrate all the mundane details of her broken heart. Amirah wanted to ask her to keep quiet or inject tranquilizer to her fine looking slender arm so she can just sleep off the whole ride. She heard the woman is stopping where their transit will be, in Ethiopia. She cannot wait for the transit.

Averil folded her legs on the couch in the plane, clasped her hands together in front of her. "I was with this guy, Jason. I told you about my modeling career right?" She stopped and when Imad nodded, she move on, "I met him there and he was a photographer and we had couple of shoots with him before he asked me out. I was excited since I got asked out mostly by fellow models or those rich tycoons but I wanted a change and Jason was it.

"We went to countless dates before making it official and all that shits they do for relationship. I gave it my all despite my busy schedule. Just when I thought I have finally found my missing part," She stopped to roll her eyes at her stupidness and the absurdness of it now. "I caught him with another model in the studio doing the bad and all. The guy had to nerve to say she blackmailed him with me. That she wants to ruin my career." She laughed, it was soulless and empty.

"I am way above her in all ways. My daddy is rich, my mother too and she just started working for few months then, she knows no one and her connection is weak. So imagine my reaction when he told me that." She kept quite as if waiting for Imad to imagine it in his head then went on, "I removed his belt and beat the crap out of him because man, I was in love only to have my heart broken."

Imad looks speechless for a minute, not knowing the exact word to say to the ranting woman. It is certain she does not talk to just everyone about this and he might even be the first person she told everything because he is a 'stranger' she will part ways with like he did yesterday with the said Amira. He is not a connoisseur when it comes to placating, he would welcome one too if he gets it.

At long last, he gave a sheepish smile to Averil. "That is tragic."

Averil rolled her eyes, tucking her hands under her thighs in a child-like manner. "It was more than tragic to be honest. I'm telling you this in an humorous way because I don't want you to feel too sorry for me. I couldn't beat his ass, I had no power to do anything but just left. I never want to fall in love again, ever ever."

Imad smiled, remembering what stranger Amira told him yesterday. She does not want to fall in love ever and will stop all the seams that could help the emotion to sprout out in her organ. Same goes to Averil, he could hear the same determination he heard from the stranger yesterday. He would say the same though, he does not wish to fall in love ever again. One experience is enough to last him a lifetime.

Have you moved on though?

The question nagged his brain, he shook it off as soon as it arrived and made his cranium to block his brain from functioning for the time being.

"I concur, one experience is enough." He whispered out his thoughts to Averil but Amirah caught it.

Her heart shrink back to her ribcage, ashamed of even thinking about wanting him back. She's caused him so much pain, he deserves someone good and far better than her. Maybe Usayma is the person he deserves, she will make him happy like she couldn't. Besides, Usayma already looks devoted to dot over Imad like all loving wives around the globe.

Averil's ears perked up and she beamed at him. "What is your story? You sound like you've been through one ruthless heartbreak yourself. Care to share?" She is like an excited little kid anticipating gifts of their birthday.

Imad chuckled and when listened careful, it is eerie and lack any humour that should be entailed in those happy onomatopoeia. What could he do? He didn't know when his laugh had turn eerie and cold, when his smiles yawed glacial and standoffish. "I've walled out my past. I've forgotten most of it to help keep my life sane."

*~*

Amirah lie down on the mattress, eyes distant and eerie. They landed in Nigeria few hours ago and now it is late into the night and she is supposed to be asleep after being jet lagged and restless the whole trip back after Imad's words to Averil. She couldn't squash out those thoughts and make them dematerialize, it was close to impossible. Not even close, it is infeasible 'cause she is has tried doing so, it didn't work.

He has blocked everything that has to do with her?

Maybe that was why he never acknowledged their past, he has forgotten who she was and what they had. Leaving her alone in that deep pit of ominous darkness, swimming to the surface only to be pushed back by intense guilt proliferating as soon as she tried moving. Same goes to the pits she is in, heightening to reach her neck and choke her back to suffocate like she deserves. She deserved everything coming her way!

She once thought that all the things she's been going through is because of Imad. Karma is biting her ass in the most brutal way known to mankind. She keeps decomposing like a worthless corpse by the sidewalk naked and surrounded by flies and maggots. This is all because of what she did to him, how cruel she has been and it is now hurting no one but her. He clearly stated moving on, she could see it too with his new wife and their innuendoes.

Restless is what she is. She keeps moving on the bed, she is sure Najla would've awoken had she not been a heavy sleeper like her father. Amirah chuckled, her brother in-law keeps on teasing her, she missed them. She decided to sleep with Najla since she's missed her the whole time she was there in Italy. Najla is a part of her, she makes living less monochromatic and lively with teetering colours.

Tired of summoning sleep, she opened her eyes and found her sister studying again, her legs deep inside cold water and a cup of what seems like coffee beside her on another plastic chair. Her eyes are droopy but she kept going, memorizing, reading and understanding with shake of her head. Amirah's chest flattened again, she does not want to disturb her sister with her own troubles when the woman is studying.

But the exams is not until two more weeks to come so she can talk to her right? There are fourteen days left for her to read all she wants while what Amirah is feeling can't be pushed till then. She'd definitely go crazy with those thoughts cocooned in a cacophony inside her head. It throbbed along with her heart, it is so intense that she is feeling the taste of it in her mouth. Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth too.

In a gentle mild voice that won't startle her sister, she called. "Afi."

Afaf's head rose in question, eyes squinting to see who just called her, she knew it had to be Amirah but just so she won't be hearing things out of sleepiness. The small amount of light from Amirah's old torchlight phone shined her eyes, away from the book then she eased the bulky book to the floor and stood. Maybe it is time for her to stop reading for the night and just permit her slothful muscles to relax. She needed the distraction.

"Ami, what is it?"

Amirah took a deep breath. What was it she wanted to talk about again with her sister? It has slipped her head so she rambled all she's been feeling since they made it to Italy.

"I think I'm in love with Imad, again." Her voice is so low, frightened that saying it out with her mouth will make it more real and it did but still felt something dropped off her shoulder.

Afaf blinked, keeping her mug on the floor then sat on the mattress opposite Amirah, mulling over what she's just said. She keeps quiet though, because knowing Amirah, she wants to say more and if she interrupts, she won't keep talking again. She listened tentatively like taking lectures during her favorite time of the day, mid evening.

Amirah swallowed hard. "I couldn't stop thinking about him the whole time. I had a date with Nazir Jalo and when I saw Imad coming into the restaurant, I thought he would be jealous and leave but he didn't. He sat there joking around with Lateefa and she told me that she's talked to him about me. Asked whether he loves me or not and he downright denied. It hurts, Afaf! I don't know what to do now. My chest..." She stopped to take a deep breath, touching her chest, "...my chest feels heavy, tired and asphyxiated.

Afaf blinked, taking it all in. Her sister had a date with Nazir Jalo, the man she always looks up to when it comes to her career. And she is now in love with her ex husband who now hates her or maybe just erased her from his life? Just what in world is happening to her baby sister? Is she going to keep suffering and paying for the bad deeds of people her whole life? Won't she have the chance to happiness too?

She embraced her, tightly. "I don't know what to say, Ami." Afaf breathe too, "Imad might hate you now which means your feelings won't be reciprocated. You were the one that think you have moved on, you've always loved him, Ami. And if the love he had for you was real, then trust me when I say he still feels something for you. Maybe he won't acknowledge it which is where the explanation part comes. You need to confront him and confess everything and I mean, everything from the beginning."

Amirah pulled away, shaking her head in a no way I'm telling him why and how everything changed in our lives three years ago, way. "You know I cannot do that! It is not even possible for me to do it. I will just keep carrying my feelings in me till my heart cedes, that is it. Telling him is infeasible, anything but that."

Afaf sighed, the girl is headstrong and thinks because life isn't twisting her head now, it won't in future. She needs to tell him and more than anything, Afaf is hundred percent sure everything will be normal after that happens.

"You will have to because if you think you can keep working with him, seeing him with his new wife and take in all the burden..." Afaf went back to her mattress, taking the thin duvet to close her body then finished, "...then you are sickly mistaken!"