"I keep thinking of how much I love watching you from afar or close, how good you look when you smile. How much I love your laugh.

I day-dream about you off and on, replaying pieces of our conversation, or argument, laughing at funny things that you said or did. I've memorized your face and the way that you look at me. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine. I wonder what will happen the next time we are together and even though nothing will come out of this, I know one thing for sure... I don't care, I cherish every moment I have with you." - Unknown

(Unedited)

Lauren's POV

Zandros!..

His eyes was locked on mine and I felt like the world just stopped. The people on my peripheral vision dissipated and there's only us.

The love I've been trying to bury, rushed through me like a lighting and it's burning inside of me intensely. My chest was pumping so hard that I thought my heart would leapt out of my chest any moment. It was overwhelming feelings. I just realized how much I have missed him. I wanted to launched myself onto him and just hold him and feel him.

He still looks devastatingly gorgeous. His god-like jawline, heart melting smirk that I missed so much. His buttery smooth skin, his bone structure of his face, that was undeniably perfect. The heavenly composition of his nose, eyes, mouth, and chin are just too hard to ignore. He is beyond irresistible.

I could feel, my legs are turning jelly with how he stared at me. His presence really affects me that no other man does. I felt that burning sensation runs through my body with the intensity of his gaze. Undressing me with his eyes.

I like how he made me feel. That look that make me feel like, I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. And it's only him who can ignite that passion within me.

We are staring at each other with the same intensity. Just our eyes talks. I could feel my eyes starting to welled up with the mixed emotions, that was too much to bear.

Yes, It's always been him and he will always be.

God I missed him so badly. Did he ever miss me too?

His eyes was showing no emotions. It hurts to see him that he wasn't even happy to see me. He was just staring at me blankly. Does he even remember me? The thought made me cringed inwardly.

Damn him, he was the one who left without talking to me, not even a single word if when he's coming back or where on earth did he go??

"Are you ok?" Mario whispered close to my ears, and I realized he was holding my waist and was almost carrying me. He followed my eyes and now he was looking at him.

"Ye..yeah.!" I stammered, with my voice faltered.

"You're shaking! Let's seat. Explain it to me later why are you staring at Zandros Mailov.." He continued watching me closely, with his curious eyes gazing at me. He assisted me until I got settled to our respective chairs. I'm just glad that we are not sharing the same tables with Zandros. Although, theirs was next to ours and I have a good view of him. I looked at Mario when his last words sunk in my head. I was lost in my thoughts that I didn't realized he was referring to Zandros.

Oh no!! I have no plans of sharing it yet, not now.

I could feel Zandros eyes boring into me. I was trying so hard to composed myself, and not be affected with his presence. But my resolve is getting weaker each seconds. I hate it when he made me feel weak. My whole system is in a riot. My head was a blur. Clouded with just the thought of him. The memories of our kiss that night, flashed in my head. I could still feel his soft yet firm lips on mine. That kiss that I dreamed of every night. It just felt like yesterday.

Gather your thoughts Lauren! You are his history. Nothing more, nothing less.

I mentally chided myself.

Mario was very attentive. And I could see the worries in his eyes.

"I'm fine Mario." I smiled at him sweetly. I was too lucky I had a friend like him. Our age difference didn't matter. He had treated me like his sister which I'm so grateful about. People thought we are dating secretly but we never gave them any exact answers, to keep his sexual identity hidden.

"I hope! You look pale while ago. I think you need to sleep more Honey!" he murmured into my ears, his breath fanning in my earlobe, with a tinge of sarcasm in his voice. I knew his words was implying more, but I just shrugged it off. He doesn't need to know.

"I know. I'll be fine.." I reassured as I smiled in agreement, not giving him any more reasons to throw me a lot of questions if I deny it. And I know him for being tenacious.

Then I found my eyes again to Zandros direction as I can't take away my eyes off him and he was still looking at us with a grim face. Just then I notice the beautiful girl beside him. She looks undeniably gorgeous in her red breathtaking sleeveless jersey dress with sheer panels and a keyhole opening.
She was animatedly talking to him. Smiling at each other sweetly. I think too sweetly. I felt that jealousy creeping in as I saw how he look at her. With adoration and he even smiles often at her sweetly, whom I never remember he shared that smile to me, ever.

It's obvious the two has a thing going on. The realization settles in my heart and it hurts. I felt my heart crushed into pieces. It hurts to see him with someone, so cozy and sweet.

I tore my eyes off them because I can't handle it anymore. The bitterness I felt at that moment was growing and its eating me slowly.

Damn you Zandros!! And damn this heart for choosing him!!

---
Zandros' POV

Ashley and I was sitting comfortably at our designated tables. We arrive just on time. The party starts at 7 and half of the tables were already filled up when we walked into the hall. I looked around to see if she's anywhere the tables but no glimpse of her. I was relieved but at the same time disappointed. About half an hour, guest are pouring in and filled the chairs. Ashley was too busy talking to the other guest sitting beside us, as I tried to enjoy my wine. The boredom is kicking in.

The place was beautifully decorated, with pink theme representing the anti-cancer color, albeit rather too feminine for my taste.

I was looking at the entrance door and watch as the other guest was being ushered to their tables. Ashley was still too engrossed with the lady beside her. I remember she mentioned she was the owner of Suzanne Clothings, which they designed maternity clothing, if I'm not mistaken. One of the renowned maternity fashion stores in New York.

Once in a while I glanced at them. I was running my finger on the rim of the glass as I listen to their talk absentmindedly.

I glanced at the entrance door again and I sat there frozen. I thought I was just imagining. She looks so breath taking in her pink dress. Simple yet elegant. I felt my heart beats rapidly. My breath hitched as I was staring at her so intently. I'm just glad that Ashley was too entertained with the lady named Suzanne beside her.

I watched as she smiled at the usherettes and how she glide ever so elegantly with that guy I had killed in my head countless times. I was clenching my hands and gritting my teeth, looking at them both with dark eyes. When they reach their table which was before ours, she saw me.

I thought my heartbeat stopped. She was staring at me too. She looks surprised and our eyes locked. Everything seems to stop. The longing in my heart was growing tremendously.

The kiss we shared that night flashed in my head and the tingling sensation rushed throughout my body making me shiver with the sudden pleasure it sends. I wanted to pull her in my arms and hold her tight. I wanted to kiss her again, feel her soft lips, her hands around me. Her soft body that was perfectly molded for my arms.

I love her. So much that it hurts. It hurts to see that someone was holding her possessively, it should be me. I wanted to rip that Mario's heart and break his hands so he couldn't hold her anymore.

Yes, I am so jealous right now. I wanted to look away, but for some reason, I can't take my eyes off her. I'm scared when I look away, she might be gone. That, she's only a figment of my imagination.

Then the guy whispered something to her. They look so intimate that it really broke my heart. I felt like, my heart was stabbed over and over again. The pain was fresh, worst than the time I found out she left. Painful than dying.

My heart is aching and screaming for her. I love her. Yes.. so much! I knew when I see her again, it's going to be hard. Because, my love for her is incessant, immeasurable. All I know is, she's the pieces that fitted the hole in my heart.

They are both seated now, but I still have a good view of her. I saw the waiter. I raise my hand to get his attention. I needed a stronger drink.

I was still watching them as they talk and how she beamed at him sweetly. They both look so happy together. I know I was torturing myself if I don't look away. But she was so damn beautiful.

"Do you know her?" Ashley whispered dragging me back to reality. I drank down half of the martini before responding to her. She was staring at them both.

"Yeah." I replied briefly, not wanting to tell more.

"Really??" her eyes twinkle in curiosity. Before she could talk I stop her.

"I'm not in the mood to talk about her!" I said clenching my jaws. She just smiled as she shrug her shoulders.

"The guy she was with was the guy I was talking about. Isn't he gorgeous?" She gushed. I looked at her incredulously. Yes, he was handsome. But I knew there's more handsome in her workplace, those models she work with.

"You don't agree with me?" she raised her eyebrows exasperatedly.

"I didn't said that!" I chuckled. She's ready to have a war with me if I object her.

"Your eyes says differently." She pouted. I didn't mean to offend her really. She was my friend and as a good friend I should support her.

"Ok, he is handsome. But he doesn't seem to be interested to anyone. He was too fixed to her." The thought again made me wanted to break Mario's face. I grab my glass and swigged the content of my martini.

"They are not dating. I know it!" Ashley commented with reassurance. I snorted.

Soon, the food was served. I didn't feel like eating, but I tried to eat some of my steak anyways. The food was great but I don't have appetite. All I want to do tonight and get myself drunk, and numb this feelings.

After like a decade, the dirty plates was collected and they served the dessert. The host made her speech regarding the cause of this fund raising, giving a brief introduction on how it started and how it had affected many lives of those battling with it and had overcome the trials successfully and with the help of the FIO.

Not long after the speech, the dance floor was opened. I was looking for the bar since I'm needing a stronger drink that could help me get through this night. It was located at the far end of the hall. The bar counter was filled with other man who wanted to drunk themselves as well.

"Shall we dance?" Ashley nudge my elbow as she looked at the dance floor, to the pair dancing so intimately with the soft music. Ashley stood up without waiting for my response she grab my hand and dragged me to the dance floor. Groaning inwardly, I followed her without any word. She curled her hands around my neck and I hold her waist. She was looking at my shoulder and I knew the two was behind us.

When my back touch hers, I stiffened with the sudden electrifying sensation that coarse throughout my body, stirring my excitement to no end. When she move forward, I felt disappointed.

--
Lauren's POV

Finally the music was over. That simple touch of our back had made me shivered with great excitement. A great pleasure erupted within me like a wildfire. I wanted to hold him.

I need an air. I felt so suffocated and the jealousy I felt, was growing incessantly. I decided to leave the hall and maybe take a walk to empty my head and my heart.

"I'll just go to the washroom." I said to Mario as soon as we reach our table.

"Would you like me to accompany you?" he offered. I chuckled with the thought. I know he's a gay but he doesn't have to come with me to the washroom?

"Of course not! I can find my way there." I chuckled softly. When he knew I was fine, he realized the meaning of his words, he soon laughed.

"I'll be right back!" I smiled and turned on my heel not to the washroom direction but outside the hall.

I smiled to the two securities who was standing on the wide double door, opening the door for me and I made my way to the lobby of the luxurious hotel. I didn't notice while ago that the hall is at the second floor. Instead of taking the elevator, I decided to take the grand staircase.

The lobby was a perfect blend of 18th century style and 21st century comfort. The Grandt Pallis-Petropoulis hotel is famous for its classic charm and southern hospitality which greet guests upon entering the grand hotel's lobby. A magnificent twelve foot, thousands of pieces hand blown Venetian chandelier, weighing in probably two to three tons, in the centerpiece of the lobby, with two Georgian open-arm staircases surrounding it. A strategically designed domed ceiling, means that the lobby's acoustics allow guests to carry on a conversation in a faint whisper, even from opposite staircases. The lavish place screams of luxury and astounding interior.

There are few people who are dressed up and chatting and I believe some guest of the said event who probably wanted some air as well, or quietness.

I had only four flute of champagne, but I felt a bit tipsy. I walked down the grand staircase and I saw a mini settings along the glass window walls facing the busy street of Manhattan. Two leathered armchairs across each other with a small round coffee in between. I decided to take a seat and try to relax my chaotic nerves.

I was halfway when I heard my name being called. And even that tone is being mixed with others, I will by heart recognized it.

"Lauren.." His rich and velvety voice touch my heart and send shivers down my spine. I stop halfway, but I didn't look around. I could feel him getting closer and my foot was rooted to the ground. I was trying so hard not to turn around and run in his arms. I was trying to ignore the overwhelming feelings that's rocking me at this moment. His closeness was unsettling. His intoxicating smell, a mixture of something woodsy with citrus, that's uniquely his. A familiar scent that's tickling my nose, making my whole senses in turmoil.

The strange but pleasant feelings of our close proximity was driving me insanely good. And I hate that feelings. I just hope, I wouldn't give away the only pride that was left in me.

"How have you been, Lauren?" His voice that carries so much pain, with a glint of longings struck my heart. And in a seconds his feelings connected to mine. I breath harshly with the intense emotions we both shared.

Why does he sounded hurt? I should be!

I turned around and gasped as I breath sharply, when I realized we were too close. So close that the things I wanted to say just evaporates into thin air. My head became a blur. Our eyes was locked reading each other's emotions.

"I missed you!" He murmured audibly, with so much emotions in it, pulling me into his arms. I wanted to say something but it seems that my voice was stuck in my throat. His strong arms encircling me, the longings I have felt for the 6 months just swept over instantly and then I felt alive again.

"Why did you leave?" I finally, found the words I've been forming in my head before, if ever we meet again. I pulled myself away from him, as I step back. He look hurt, rejected for a second but it was gone in a blink of an eye, turning back into his signature stoic face.

I had to get myself out of his hold or the walls I had built will just crumbled down for nothing. I love to be in his arms, because I felt secured, content and it feels home, but I won't let it happen again. I would never let him crushed my heart just the way he did when he left me.

I lost my parents and I was happy when he admitted he likes me. It gave me hope, so much hope that I fully entrusted my heart to him. But what he did? He left me the next day on someone's hands, empty, lost and feeling abandoned!!

"I'm sorry, I was confused. I don't know what to say. I want you but I'm scared you will outgrown that feelings. You are so young and naive and several years younger than me! It's was hard for me when I left you but I had to." He explained bitterly.

I snorted inwardly. What's the purpose of this. He had that stunning girl. There's no point of talking about the past. But the thought of him with that girl was so painful. I hold back the tears.

"She's beautiful!" I murmured referring to his girlfriend.

"Yes, and she's very nice and sweet!" He smiled. Every description of the girl he uttered is like a needle poking into my heart incessantly.

"How is your Mom, Dad.. And Chrissy?" I asked melancholy, changing the topic, not wanting to torture my heart more. I missed them.

"They misses you! Come, let's sit!" He uttered casually and led me to the armchairs. I just realized we are at the middle of the lobby.

"You should go back! Your girlfriend must be looking for you!" I stated dryly.

"Her name is Ashley Averill." He corrected. I wanted to scream to his face that I don't care but I just shut my mouth.

I sat on the armchair, placing my clutch on the table and looked outside the window wall. I saw him in my peripheral vision as he took the chair across mine. He leaned back and stared at me, so intently that made me squirmed inwardly.

"Did you mean what you have said that night Lauren?" He abruptly inquired. I don't know what to say.

Will I deny it or not?

"I do." I murmured barely audible as I look at him. "But every love I have felt that night was gone the minute you left!" I uttered acidly with contempt, staring at his forest green eyes. The feeling of that day I found out that he left and with the arms of another girl made me feel sick and disgusted at him.

"I didn't left because I don't like you Lauren. I left because I was confused and scared that one day you will realized I'm not really the guy you wanted. You see, that day had come! You look so happy with him." He remarked stoically. No emotions. Nothing.

My anger was slowly rising within me. I wanted to punch him real hard and let him realized how heartless bastard he is!

"Yeah! Mario is a nice guy. I guess we both found our destiny." I said bitterly and I looked away. I don't want him to see the pain in my eyes. I had to at least save my pride and dignity.

"Then I wish you the best and true happiness!" He said coldly as he stood up and walk away. I was alarmed this will be the last time I will see him. I just found myself abruptly rose on my feet and hastily called his name.

"Zandros!" I called out before I could stop myself.

He turned around to look at me, with his hands resting in his pockets.

"I..er.. please send my regards to Tata Beatriz, Uncle Vladimir and Chrissy. Tell them, I'm sorry.." I stuttered. I wanted to smack myself for being so desperate and looking like a stupid.

I almost said it again.

Let it go Lauren. If he's meant for you, he will end up in your hands.

"I will. Good Bye Lauren!" He said. The last words is like an arrow, struck into my heart, leaving a hole with the piece with him.

I close my eyes.. And mumbled. "Good bye Zandros!"

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