5. win a heart, lose a heart

Thanks to xxxneenahxxx for the cover shown above! 💕

   When her physics lecturer started droning on about projectile motion, Willa unfolded the paper under her notebook, revealing it only far enough to read each rule one by one. It was pretty straight forward, a structure limiting loopholes. 

   She'd have to spend a minimum of one hour each day with Ashton, and they'd both have to attend Kelsey's Halloween party over the weekend. No foul play. Proper investment into their relationship. All things Willa had expected. Then, after seven days of being a couple, it was a free for all. They were able to break up.

   Immediately, she started concocting ways of breaking Ashton, and not just breaking up with him, but finding a reason to do so at all. If she could have it mapped out and ready for next Wednesday morning then she could beat him to the chase and cut ties.

   Only, she knew he'd have the same intentions, despite the nonchalant air about him. She'd have to be very careful.

   At lunch time, she was quick to find him, pacing down the halls like a madwoman with her books in hand and Mary Janes clicking loudly on the tiled floors. She was sure she'd see him lingering on the sidelines somewhere, watching from afar as if he were too good to mingle with the commoner students. Only, it wasn't him she found first.

   It was Declan. And he was looping an arm in hers and pulling her behind the staircase and out of view.

   "Willa," he breathed when they were separated from the crowd that was moving towards the cafeteria. His pale eyes searched hers, as if trying to assess any changes since the last time he'd held her so intimately.

   She pulled her arm from his and scowled at him, ignoring the pressure building upon her chest. "What are you doing?"

   Declan looked a little hesitant. Their proximity in the cramped space had her heart racing, and it made it hard to keep her face distorted into a look of hatred. Her face fell from its scowl and instead she crossed her arms over her chest in an effort to translate pissed-off body language.

   His full lips parted briefly before closing, like he'd thought better of whatever he was going to say. Then, after averting his gaze and giving a rattled sigh, he spoke. "I just wanted to see you. I've missed you."

   She was seething.

   "You have no right to say that," she hissed through gritted teeth. He'd been the one to cheat, the one to deny it, the one who didn't call last night.

   "I know," he said hoarsely. God, he was so close. She couldn't handle it. She missed how easily they connected, the way he knew where his hand fitted at her waist, and the way she could so easily lean up to kiss him, as if her body were designed for his. The golden couple, they'd called them.

   "I need to find Ashton," she muttered, pulling away, hoping the words would stab him. But, as if it were just natural to touch her, he stepped forward, this time taking her hand in his and intertwining their fingers.

   "Please don't."

   Her heart faltered, his palm was so warm, and the fingers that were locked with hers had once held so much reassurance. They'd made her feel safe. Now they just left her heart broken.

   "Willa, please, just talk to me."

   She had no choice but to look at him, to meet his gaze.

   "I miss you. We miss each other. You know we're not supposed to be like this," he said, his tone tight, as if it were thick with emotion. His dirty blonde hair looked as if he'd run his hand through it too many times today, and beneath his eyes were bags that she knew only appeared after a difficult night's sleep.

   "You weren't supposed to cheat on me, either," she snapped. She felt moisture pulling in her eyes, and she blinked it back with fury.

    She knew her words would silence him. But he surprised her when he opened his mouth again to retaliate, his green eyes hard.

   "Of course I never meant for it to happen," he said, his voice strained. "I didn't mean to drink that much. I didn't mean to listen to the guys, to let her-"

   "I don't want to hear about it," she interrupted, already feeling bile pool at her throat. The fact that the boy she'd loved with all her heart for so many years had touched someone else made her sick.

   "Willa," he said, his voice softer now, his breath on her neck, her face turned away. "We need to talk about this."

   "No, we don't." She swallowed, then sharpened the knives that were her words, ready for her next attack. "I've moved on, can't you tell?"

   If she could hurt him even a fraction of how much he'd hurt her, then maybe she'd find some closure.

   "You're not with him," he whispered. If it weren't for the small space she wouldn't have been able to hear him over the faraway voices of students and footsteps over the staircase above them.

   "It doesn't matter. It doesn't mean he isn't my boyfriend," she said firmly. Then, for good measure, she added, "Or that he's been a better one than you ever were."

   That was a lie, a hundred times over, even he knew that. How could anyone compare to Declan? To all he'd gifted her, all he'd given her, his heart included. How could that perfect image be shattered? It was as if her mind and heart were at war, the picture Miles had sent her the final weapon. 

   "You're trying to find a way to hurt me," he murmured. His scent was so familiar it made her want to relax, to curl into his arms and kiss his lips. "You'll say anything."

   She pushed his hard chest firmly, his back hitting the wooden panel behind him much more gently than she'd wished. "You should be hurt, Dec. God knows you've hurt me enough."

   A warring expression crossed over his eyes, but she didn't wait for him to mutter another apology. In fact, he'd never said sorry to begin with. Only reasons she should forgive him.

   She turned away and left him behind the stairs, the curiosity of what he'd wanted to talk about digging deeply, gnawing at her from under her skin. Speaking to him on the phone had been so much easier, the physical attraction that had been strengthened over the years not there to distract her. She couldn't be around him. She wasn't strong enough.

   Willa didn't hesitate to shove past students to try and scout the halls, for anyone to take her mind off of him. Before she could find Ashton though, she bumped into Aubrey and Liam, making out against Aubrey's locker in a way that was not appropriate for PG movies, let alone a high school.

   "You guys are disgusting," Willa muttered, not realizing how tear cloaked her voice was until it spilled from her lips.

   Startled, the pair before her broke, and Aubrey's expression remained smug until she caught site of Willa's. "Oh no, what's wrong?"

   Willa waved her off, her gaze shifting to a sheepish looking Liam, who was incredibly shy in comparison to the outgoing and extroverted Aubrey.

   "Sorry, I'll go," he said quickly, shooting Aubrey a love-filled gaze and waving goodbye. It almost made Willa want to puke, even if this time the week before she'd been the one brandishing PDA in the hallways.

   "Just Declan." Willa sighed into the air. 

   Aubrey's face softened, and she put an arm over her best friend. "Oh, honey, want to go grab some lunch?"

   Willa nodded. Aubrey's expression was knowing, and rendered some kind of familiarity. One thing hadn't changed, and that was Aubrey comforting her whenever Declan had left her angry or upset. That had happened all too often, particularly in the last year.

   As expected, Ashton was nowhere to be seen in the cafeteria. Another thing that hadn't changed. She'd secretly hoped that their hour-a-day rule would be easily made up during their lunch break, but he was probably wherever he usually was. Wherever that was to begin with.

   With brief hesitation, she decided to text him beneath the table, after one too many rounds of: but at least you dumped him - he's out of your life now! Move on! You go girl!

   It took Ashton ten minutes to respond, and when he did he simply said they would hang out after school again. Though she had nothing planned for after school anyway, she wasn't exactly ecstatic at the idea of spending another afternoon at the ice-cream shop. At least it wasn't pouring with rain this time.

   "So parents," Ashton said, folding his hands over the surface of the table between them. They were at the same booth as the day before, and this time she had a small tub of strawberry ice-cream in front of her while he had a chocolate milkshake he was sipping through a straw.

   "Parents?" she questioned. She'd been busily patting the ice-cream down with the back of her spoon, her mind elsewhere. Ben had just delivered their order and had retreated back to behind the counter, his eyebrows waggling when he caught either of their eyes.

   "Last time we discussed siblings, now parents. That way we're making an effort, right?"

   She narrowed her eyes, pondering his incentives. "Okay. Parents. What are yours like?"

   "Parent," he corrected. "My mom's great. Nosy, sometimes overbearing, but great."

   She couldn't help but be nosy. "And your Dad?"

   He crinkled his nose a little, spinning the plastic milkshake cup in his hand. His hands weren't like Declan's, long and skinny. They were wide, a little more calloused. "Never knew him. How about you?"

   Willa nodded, taking another bite of ice-cream. "Parents plural. They're hard working people. Good parents, I guess."

   "You guess?" 

   "Well, they are," she said, licking her spoon and looking out the window to the bustling street. "I mean, they sacrifice so much for me."

   He nodded, as she had. And then his dark eyes found hers, the hint of curiosity tugging at the corner of his lips. "How about the boyfriend? Sorry - ex-boyfriend."

    Willa's motions stilled, and she let the spoon fall back into the tub and sighed. She'd been doing so well at erasing their encounter earlier that day, but his touch was still imprinted on her skin. 

   "I don't want to talk about him," she said flatly.

   "Something tells me you're not ready for a new relationship." He chuckled. "You're just using me."

   "Excuse me?" she said, but the way he was taking their relationship so seriously made a smile ignite on her face. It felt so absurd.

   "I'm your rebound," he said, a glint in his eyes. She hadn't noticed how warm his smile was. For someone so intimidating and cold, he didn't smile often. When he did, it was the kind of smile that implanted a seed of warmth in your chest, spreading all over until the smile was upon your lips too.

   "You kind of are," she admitted. "And if it helps, I'll dump you in a week. You'll be a great rebound. Short and sweet."

   "Ouch," he laughed. "Who says you're going to be the one to dump me?"

   For the first time since breaking up with Declan, The Breakup Game felt like a bit of harmless fun. If she ignored the politics and attention she could enjoy the competition.

   "We'll see, Hartford," she said, scraping the last of the ice-cream from the tub. "Anyway, how about your last girlfriend. Mary was it?"

   He nodded in confirmation. "Mary was incredibly boring."

   "That was it?" she asked. "You found her boring?"

   He nodded again, and this time accompanied the action with a shrug.

   "That reason alone is boring." She snorted. 

   "Well at least she didn't cheat on me," he said, and then a flicker of worry flashed over his features, as if he were expecting Willa to burst into tears.

   But, instead, she kicked him from beneath the table, a girlish grin on her face, a contrast to the sensitive Willa from that morning. She was tired of the emotion, completely drained, and the laughter combined with the heat in her cheeks made her feel giddy. "You ass."

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