Dedicated to affiee for being such an amazing reader and friend, you already know why I chose to dedicate this chapter to you, so yes, be excited but hey don't ruin it for others. Lol. Love you.

Enjoy reading people. :)

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Ever since my life started taking mysterious turns, I found myself stuck in different kinds of situations but majority of them ended up me either getting embarrassed or the circumstances totally turning awkward.

Which one was better? I didn't really know and most of all, I couldn't figure out whether I should've been embarrassed about Rayhan finding out that I eavesdropped or think of how to get out this awkward moment where he knew that I knew about his feelings and I had nothing in return to say to him.

Well, life really sucked sometimes.

"So?" Rayhan slowly untangled our fingers as he held my chin to make me look him in the eye.

Whenever it came to Rayhan, I'd felt nothing but a feeling of comfort with his kindness but right now all I felt was a whole bunch of nerves crying out to run away from him.

"I don't really know what you're talking about." I said to him, clearing my throat in the process.

He had that annoying smirk plastered on his face where he knew exactly what he was doing, and it was all a win-win situation for him. I really wanted to smack that smirk down but then I thought better not to, we just resolved a fight, didn't we?

"So, you want me to believe that you don't know anything about this?" He raised an eyebrow with an amused smile on his face and my eyes flickered to his lips.

Tell me again, why was he sitting so close to me? It was hard to breath with such a close proximity.

"Yes, I want you to believe it because that's the truth." I rolled my eyes, dramatically.

He left my hand completely and made some distance between us. Well,thank god for that but is it wrong that I missed his comfort? Something was definitely up with me. Get a grip on your nerves Tanvi Kapoor.

"Alright, I believe you." He gave out a small and I gaped at him.

"Really, that easy?" I gave out a nervous laugh and he nodded.

Before I could comprehend what was going on in that evil mind of his, he caught me by surprise when he closed any distance that was there between us and held my waist, making me sit uptight as my breath was caught in my throat.

"Yes, that easy. Except, if you didn't know it then let me clear out things for you. I like you Tanvi Kapoor, and I'm well aware of the fact that you already knew it. If you didn't, I wouldn't have admitted this to you right now because you already have some crap going on in your life and this new drama is the least of your wants but I know you well enough to figure it out that you'll spend days, even weeks thinking whether you were hallucinating about what I told your friends or was it true rather than just confronting me about it. So,yes, I'm helping you out of that misery by confessing that I do like you, also with no hidden intentions."

Each word that left his mouth was said as he looked down into my eyes, not even blinking once as he completely poured out the truth to me.

Sometimes I wondered what made Rayhan so mature while he was just a teenager but then I realized that losing his father might've made him what he was. I wanted to ask him about how he handled it or if he still missed him, but something told me he would talk when he would want to.

He was aware that I knew and I would go on endless nights to figure out what he wanted from me, but he made everything clear to me in a heartbeat. I was afraid to trust him, to put that faith in him that I'd put in other people before and got nothing but betrayal in return but I couldn't confess that to him.

While I was lost in my thoughts, I didn't even realize when Rayhan leaned forward, his eyes flickering to my lips. My eyes went wide open when I felt the taste of his lips against mine but a nanosecond later I melted down in his arms, trying to savour the moment. But before I could even respond to it, he pulled back and looked me in the eyes as he sighed.

"I'm not sorry for what I just did, I wanted to so I took that step. I'm not sure that if you walk out of that door today, it might as well be the last time we see each other because you may want nothing to do with me, so that was just a last memory I stole from you." He gave a small smile and I tried to make a sense out of his words but I was still stuck with what happened moments ago.

Most of all, why the fuck did I feel hollow inside when Rayhan made it seem like a goodbye? Well, maybe it was. I couldn't lead him onto something I couldn't fulfil later, he deserved better than a girl who couldn't make a sense out of her emotions.

As I closed my eyes, I took a deep breath before opening my mouth to speak the words that already made guilt stir inside me, "Okay Rayhan, I understand you have feelings for me but I want you to understand that I do not feel that way about you. I respect that you've always been so kind to me but I can never imagine to have a thing with you." I told him, slipping away from his grip, pretending that he never placed the most sweetest kiss on my lips.

He gave out a small smile to me as he observed my features for a little while before opening his mouth to speak.

"I never mentioned that I need a thing with you, I've feelings for you and it's okay with me if you do not reciprocate them for me, for now at least, rest I'll leave it to the future." He winked at me and I relaxed until I realized his last few words.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "I meant that for whole life Rayhan, I don't want to lead you on, let's just leave this conversation. If you want, you can stop talking to me but yes, I'm assuring you, there wouldn't be a day when I develop feelings for you." My words were harsh, but I tried to sugercoat them with my soft tone but when Rayhan flinched at them, I knew that it hurt him.

Why are you lying to this guy along with yourself? Till when are you going to run away from your feelings?

My subconscious took the worst opportunity to pop up in my head, what feelings were we talking about here anyway? There were none.

"I take that as a challenge though, but I'll let it slip. We shouldn't be discussing this anymore." He relaxed back on the couch and I nodded.

"Okay."

"Oh, by the way, if you don't have feelings for me then it would be okay right if I don't give you a comforting hug when you need it, no more getting touchy and stuff and we can totally forget about what happened minutes ago?" He cocked an eyebrow with a smirk and I picked up a cushion to hit him with it.

This asshole knew that he provided me comfort and of course he had to use it against me, I took back my words when I said he's kind, he's actually annoying. And what exactly happened? He gave me a nanosecond kiss that I actually liked, couldn't we just pretend that it never really took place?

"Sure, no more getting touchy thingy." I huffed, clearing out my thoughts and he laughed, amused with the whole situation. The only reason I felt a tad bit relaxed was because this wasn't a goodbye, this wasn't the end of our friendship. I wasn't losing another person from my life.

Maybe because I wasn't losing another person I considered so special in my life.

"Tanvi, you took an year to accept those feelings of heartbreak, when are you going to accept your feelings for me?" He asked, his tone suddenly serious.

My feelings for him? There were none. Didn't I say that already?

"Who said I've feelings for you? You're like the younger version of Vaibhav for me." I cringed at the thought but said it nonetheless.

He gave a 'duh' look as he created further distance betwen us, "So, Vaibhav kisses you and you just pretend that it never happened?"

He was totally enjoying teasing the hell out of me. Maybe coming here in the first place was the worst decision ever. This torture was way too much to bear.

"I didn't mean that literally." I shrieked as I picked another cushion and covered my face with it.

He chuckled as he removed the only thing blocking him from seeing my flushed face. I needed to get away for him and really think about what I really felt for this guy.

"You do know that I'm just one year younger to you, it isn't really that big of a deal, right?" His voice was full of hope and I mentally killed myself for giving him that.

"Listen, Rayhan, I'm going to leave now, okay?" I got up but he held my hand.

"Fine, I'm sorry, let's talk about something else. I was trying to take a last chance to make you see that just because one guy broke you apart, not all are like that." He pouted at the end and I gave out a small smile.

"Alright, no need to be all grumpy. I do understand what you mean, and I agree with that last part. You're nothing like Karan, but I need you to understand that I'm just not ready to develop feelings for someone else, I want to move on from my past so that I can be happy in my present and future." I traced my fingers along his knuckles and he nodded from the couch as I watched him trying to grasp the meaning of my words.

"Okay, I get it. But I'm not really leaving you so easily, okay? I'll be right by your side anytime you need someone and I'll make sure that you realize that your past is already where it belongs, in the past. It's just you who is holding onto it like it still exists, trust me, it doesn't. But it's okay, I agree on baby steps." He grinned at me like an idiot at the end and I smiled back at him before taking a seat beside him again.

When even after everything he decided not to leave my side, who was I to leave first? Rayhan knew a lot about me but I didn't know him at all and there was this sudden urge inside of me that wanted to discover each aspect of his life.

"Can we spend the rest of the time not discussing my life anymore?" I literally whined and he nodded.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" He looked at me curiously and I thought about it for a second before opening my mouth to speak.

"You, about your life, your dad, maybe?" I sounded unsure of myself but he stared at me for a second before giving me a small smile.

It was as if he was reading my mind, there was something about this guy that made me open up to him like no one else. I had my best friends, and god knows they were the best people god ever gifted me with but when I was with Rayhan, I was not afraid to be judged, I felt as if no matter what I said, he would go beyond his limits to understand me. It was weird considering I always wanted someone like that in my life, and no that he was, I wasn't sure about my feelings for him.

Mixed emotions are a bitch.

"What do you want to know?" He questioned, making himself comfortable and so did I.

"Um, how about I ask random questions and you just answer and if you ain't comfortable responding to any of them we'll just skip it?" I spoke before giving it a thought, it was going to be fun.

"Sure." He smiled and I laid back a little on his couch.

"When is your birthday?"

He gave me a look like that was the least expected question, but hey, we agreed on baby steps, right?

"October 14, yours?"

"March 7. Whom do you love the most?"

"My mum and of course, my little monster, Arush." He gave out a small smile and I beamed at him.

We spent another half an hour talking and getting to know each other, asking random and silly questions as we tried to grasp as much as we could from one another's life. When we were done with those stupid ones, I decided to dig in a little deeper in his life, unsure if he would appreciate it or not.

"How did you lose your Dad?" I asked after a while, looking in his dark eyes. He wasn't surprised with my question, it was as if he was expecting it.

"Car Accident, he was driving back from a party along with my Uncle, well, he made it through but my father didn't." He looked lost in a memory as he had a painful expression on his face.

I'd never seen him like that before and it ached me to see the guy who always made me smile like that. I moved closer to him as I wrapped my arms around his torso and I knew he was taken aback when he went stiff but relaxed minutes later when he realized it was just me.

"How old were you?" I looked up at him, his eyes were teary and I gulped at the sight.

"Ten. My mom was eight months pregnant with Arush, he never got to see Dad. He just knows that he's in a better place, somewhere he belongs." His voice was calm and soft but behind his eyes, I could see the emotional turmoil he must've suffered as a child.

He was holding back his tears as he spoke and something told me that he needed to let it out so I tightened my grip on him as he went on to explain how broken he felt back then and how that was the first heartbreak he ever experienced. A drop was about to leave his eyes and roll down but I moved up as I placed a kiss on his closed eyelids.

"How much do you miss him?" I asked him as he snaked his arms around me, seeking the comfort I tried to provide him.

As he nuzzled his nose in the crook of my neck, I felt my heartbeat picking up, a feeling taking over me as I looked at his features, maybe he was just as much broken as I was. I just lost a guy who didn't love me back, he lost a parent who was the reason for his sole existence.

"I miss him each second Tanvi but two years back I learned to let go of the past. I'm sure he wouldn't want his son to cry through his life, he would want me to be the man of the family and make everyone proud. So I realized that the more I held onto his death, to those days of misery, the more I was hurting myself and in someway I was causing harm to my family. When Dad died, my mother went into this situation where she cried whole day and spent nights just bawling her eyes out. I was just ten, I couldn't even grasp the whole meaning of what happened while she suffered through depression. But when Arush was born a month later, it gave my mother a new reason to start over. So, Arush became our reason for existence and we promised to give him every happiness of life." He smiled at the thought and I shifted as I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

When this guy could move on from such a drastic experience, was I really too dumb to hold onto people who didn't give two shits about me? As I looked up in his eyes, I felt so proud of Rayhan to make through it all, to bear all the pain alone and to manage to find happiness when there was really none in his life.

I sighed deeply as I felt a small smile taking over my face, he gave me just another reason to grow even more fond of him as we held each other like our lives depended on that. I might not be sure of my feelings for him, but one thing I knew, whoever he falls in love with would be one of the luckiest girl.

"You try to give Arush the love of a father, don't you?" I questioned out my thoughts and he gave out a nervous chuckle.

"I do, but I know that I fail miserably." He gave me a smile and I parted myself from him, just enough to look in his eyes.

I cupped his face as I caressed his cheeks with my thumb, "Trust me, you succeed. He's truly a lucky person to have you in his life." I said before leaning forward and pressing a kiss on his cheeks.

"Getting cozy, aren't we?" He winked and I whined.

Welcome back Rayhan Annoying Roy.

"I really like when you aren't so cocky." I told him with an amused smile and he smirked.

"I really love to annoy the shit out of you." He grinned and I mirrored his expressions.

As I took my time studying Rayhan's features, I realized that this guy provided me something I yearned for, he gave comfort in the worst situations, he made me want to love myself despite everything that went on in my life.

As he pulled out his phone and started texting someone, I looked down at his free hand which was casually wrapped around mine. My mind took time to register this whole situation and I swear I heard myself gasp as I realized that I actually felt something for Rayhan. I don't know what it was or how strong it was, but this feeling was just there everytime I had him around me.

Usually, I told myself that it was because he was incredibly good looking but right now? Which girl was okay with a guy younger than herself hug her, give her forehead and cheek kisses, and oh well, he even kissed me, like really kissed me even though it barely lasted? No girl would ever be okay with that unless she had feelings for him, well, I really was dumb and slow at processing things. And on top of that, all I felt was happy around him, no awkwardness and nothing like nervous, just happy and comfortable.

I screwed up so bad this time.

No no no! I shouldn't be having these feelings for any guy, let alone Rayhan in whom I'd found such an amazing friend. These emotions were not only going to ruin our friendship but they were also going to end up hurting me, again. I couldn't bear all of it twice, not this time.

As if his touch was burning me all along, I pulled my hand back to myself and stood up immediately. It caught his attention as he looked at me with confusion.

"Tanvi, are you okay?" He asked, concern lacing his voice and I closed my eyes to take deep breaths and to not freak out.

"Yeah, I just need to leave right now. I have something to do, Vaibhav just reminded me of that." I gave out a small smile as I took a step back to leave.

"I don't recall him calling you?" He sounded baffled and I looked at his frown.

Why the hell was I lying to him?

"He texted me, I really need to leave, okay? I'm sorry, bye." I frantically waved my hand at him as I fastened my speed and got out of his house as quickly as possible.

As soon as I was away from him, I sighed deeply as I cursed myself out the whole way to my car. This was all my mistake, I should've been away from all boys as all they bring is trouble in my life. All was good, and damn, it felt amazing to be in Rayhan's company and to forget about my problems once in a while.

Why did the feelings always have to come in the way?

When I was about to get in my car, I felt someone's presence behind me and I was about to start my rambling, assuming it to be Rayhan but my words were cut short when I saw Varnika.

"What?" I snapped at her as she observed my features.

"I need to talk to you." She said, her eyes watery and her voice shaky.

Wow.

"I don't." I told her before opening up my car's door.

"Tanvi, I'm sor-"

Before she could finish her sentence, I cut her off. As if all the emotions I was feeling before were now switched to rage as I confronted the betrayer.

"Save it Varnika, really. I don't need your apology, you may as well shove it up your ass and not cross paths with me again."

I saw as her lips were parted at my choice of words, well, she was free to judge me for it but she better judge herself first for her choice of actions.

I continued, not giving her a chance to respond, "Oh, and tell your boyfriend thanks for getting the hell out of my life, at least now I don't get to kiss his filthy mouth anymore." I gave her a sweet yet  bitchy smile before hopping into my car and slamming the door shut on her face before driving away.

I had a victory smile on my face, Rayhan said that I'd to let go of my past someway, maybe this was it, slapping Karan and showing Varnika her new place in my life might as well was a step in present and away from my past.

Rayhan.

As I parked my car, my thoughts were again surrounded by him as I tried to figure out a way to restrict my feelings in order to not lose him from my life. Rayhan deserved happiness and so did I but I knew he deserved better than just a few feelings from me.

"Why are you always so lost in thoughts?" Nishant spoke from beside me and I was startled at his presence.

"Where the hell did you come from?" I frowned and he smiled as he motioned towards the stuff in his hand, he went to the grocery store.

"I need to talk Nish, I'm in this dilemma and I need some best friend advice." I told him, whining and he scowled at me.

"Rayhan is still mad at you?" He questioned and I shook my head.

I wish that was the situation, it was easy to make Rayhan's anger vanish away than this situation.

"No, this is worse."

We were walking towards our houses and when we came in front of Nishant's, he told me to wait outside so that he could keep the bags inside and come over at my place.

Vaibhav was still out and for once, I was thankful of that, I didn't need his taunts as well. I needed some peaceful conversation to get my mind in the right place.

"So, what is it?" Nishant asked, curiousity dripping his tone as he looked me in the eye.

We were currently in my bedroom where I was laying down on my bed, staring at the ceiling as Nishant stared at me from the chair where he was seated.

"Will it make me a horrible person if I admit that I have some unresolved feelings for a guy who's younger than me and if I still slightly, just slightly have things troubling me from my past?" I asked as I covered my face with my hands and I heard him chuckle which made me sit upright on my bed.

"Typical Tanvi." He shook his head with an amused smile and I pouted.

"This isn't funny Nishant Khurana, your best friend is in trouble, help her out." I scowled at him and he got up from the chair before coming to sit beside me.

"This is about Rayhan, isn't it?" The way he looked at me, I knew he was expecting an honest answer.

"Ughh, yes, it is." I admitted as I kept my head at his shoulder with a pout on my face.

"Okay, you seem really upset. Tell me exactly what's going on?"

I wish I knew the answer to that question, even I didn't know what was going on. I needed to figure it out. But, despite everything I took my time to explain Nishant what exactly happened at Rayhan's place, including that small kiss.

From his expressions, I could tell that he was shocked and amused at the same time, probably already plotting teasing plans in his mind.

"Can I tell you something?" He looked at me patiently after I was done speaking, and from his tone I knew this conversation was going to take a serious turn but I nodded anyway.

"Go on."

"When Zara told me that she liked me, I was impressed that she was gutsy enough to confess first, because mostly girls don't do that. But, I wasn't ready to give her a chance. I wanted to wait for you longer, I know it sounds cheesy Tanvi but I loved you, okay? I tried to tell myself that there's no chance for you to like me back but last one year I tried to make you see that I'm worthy enough but you didn't.

"I don't blame you though, I can never blame you. I always understood where you came from, a jerk broke your heart and you needed time, and I understood that Tanvi, not everyone get the best relationship or a relationship at all with their first love but very few lucky ones are the given the second shot at it. I found Zara, and I've fallen in love with her more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life. She makes me incredibly happy, and she loves me with all her will as well. Zara was my second shot at love and though I pushed her away at first, she sticked by my side since she's stubborn but just like that, by pushing away people often lose their second chance as well. I don't want that for you, Rayhan is younger than you and I know it bothers you Tannu about what will people say but just remember those who love you never judge you for your choices. He likes you, he cares for you and he even understands you better than Shanaya and I do. Just don't let him slip away because of your past, keep him by your side and if you guys end up on a bad note, at least you wouldn't regret not giving it a chance. So, just accept your feelings and let your heart take over your life once again, it might be your best decision."

I soaked each word that Nishant said right inside my heart, my eyes getting watery with happy tears as I held a small smile across my face and I looked at my best friend, someone whom I found by my side to show me the right path when nothing else worked.

"I'm still slightly scared Nish, I have trust issues, I am annoying as hell, I've the worst mood swings and the flashbacks from the past still exists. What if all of that is too much to push him away if I don't on my own? And what if he just ends up breaking my heart again, how will I recover from that?" I pouted and he gave me a small smile.

"Tannu, life is all about risks, if you don't take one, you'll never know the adventure of life. So, please, just don't let your past ruin your present and your future. I know you're scared to trust him, I know everything, but trust me, if he's the right one, he'll stick around anyway." He explained and I nodded, taking in his words.

"I love you, you know that, right? You said Rayhan understands me better than Shanaya and you, but that's a lie. You all saved me together Nish, and I don't know how I'll ever repay for that. Thank you so much for opening up my mind and my heart as well, thank you so much for everything." I grinned at him as a single tear dropped from my eye and I gave Nishant a tight hug.

Nishant Khurana, what would I do without you my best friend? Absolutely nothing.

As I was still embracing Nishant, my phone buzzed in my pocket, indicating a message. I parted away to take it out and check who decided to disturb my best friend moment with Nishant.

Rayhan Roy, who else?

*I really didn't like the fact that you ran from my house like I was a dog and you were the last bone I wanted to have and all you wanted was to save your life, but how you confronted Varnika and your choice of words totally made up for it. I swear I laughed for five minutes straight.

You better shove that attitude up your ass and meet me tomorrow, I miss you already.

Lots of love, hugs and kisses.

Jk. ;)*

I laughed at his message and a blush took over my face at his last few words and Nishant just gazed at me while I just typed back a simple *see you tomorrow* text.

"Rayhan, was it? Show me what he texted." Nishant snatched away my phone and I glared at him. "Ahan, hugs and kisses. Your guy likes to play along, really." He teased and I smacked his head.

"Stop it." I laughed.

He listened to me for once but then excitedly cupped my face as I was hit hard by his words.

"Tanvi Kapoor, why do I have a feeling that you're already falling hard for Rayhan Roy."

X.x

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