I felt someone's hands gripping my shoulder and shaking me up as I felt a hot breath tickling my ear.

"Wakie wakie, sleeping beauty." He whispered and I groaned as I rolled over to the different side and buried my face deeper into the pillow.

I heard a chuckle and two arms were wrapped around my waist to make me roll over again and in my grumpy state, I sat up straight, which is when I realized that it wasn't Nishant who was trying to wake me up but it was the annoying Rayhan Roy.

"Go away Ray, just let me sleep." I said as I motioned to lay on my bed again but before I could even complete my actions, my senses came to life and I gaped at Rayhan as I almost yelled, "What the fuck are you doing here Rayhan Roy? You had an exam." My mouth was hung open and my sleepy state was long gone by now.

He chuckled at my reaction before speaking up, "Don't curse so loudly, your mother is just across the hallway and in the living room." He warned and I nodded.

"But what the fuck are you doing here? You had an exam." I whisper-yelled at him as I repeated the same words which seemed to amuse him further.

"You're really adorable sometimes." He whispered back as he ruffled my already messed up hair and I grunted at him.

"Rayhan, you're annoying me now." And he was.

Did he miss his exam? If he did, I was literally going to slap him and never talk to him again.

"I thought I annoy you all the time?" He puckered an eyebrow with a smirk across his face and I scowled.

"Fuck off, will you?" I glared at him.

"Gladly, I'm only waiting for your persmission though and yes, some privacy is required as well. It isn't a good idea while your mom is in the living room." He had this smug look on his face while I knew I was as red as a tomato at his words.

What was even wrong with him?

"I didn't mean that literally." I rolled my eyes, trying to hide away the flush.

"I know and to answer your question, it's after two in the afternoon, school got over and when I had no messages from you after you decided to switch off your phone last night, I was worried to death so I went home, changed my clothes and came here to check up on you but you were sleeping so I thought of waiting but got bored after half an hour. So, here we are." He explained and I nodded my head as I processed all the information.

"I didn't know I slept in so late." I rubbed my eyes as I took the support of headboard behind me. I felt exhausted for some reason unknown to me but I chose to ignore it as I looked at Rayhan, "How was your exam?"

"It was okay." He gave out a small smile as he held my hand but I slowly slipped out of his grip.

"Okay, now that you know I'm fine, you can leave." I stated as I tried not to meet his eyes.

It was too early for me to process my thoughts and I needed sometime alone to gather them before I could face someone else.

"I know you're not okay Tanvi, this is the first time I've looked at you without any kohl or eyeliner and I can clearly tell how much tears you spilled last night,which is why I'm not leaving." His voice was calm and soft, and I could tell he was trying to be patient with me.

This is why I didn't let anyone near me until I was presentable enough. Right now, I was in my pjs and a loose tshirt with my hair all ruffled and messy and my eyes, I knew were definitely swelled.

"Okay." I sighed and he leaned forward but before he could accompalish his actions, I moved out of my bed.

"What?" He pouted and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"No kisses until I brush my teeth,bro." I winked as I gave him a mischievous smile before grabbing some clothes from my almirah and made my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth and take a shower.

All of it was done within half an hour and during that time, I tried to gather my thoughts as I recollected the episodes of yesterday and all the explanation I was provided with by Karan.

When I was drowning myself in my own tears last night, I realized that he had gone from my life long ago and it was just me holding onto him so tight that I liked to believe all of our memories together were created just yesterday. The thing that helped me cut off the strings that attached me to him was the fact that now I was aware of him being in love with someone else, and that he was happy.

I wanted to be mad at him and hold a grudge against him as well but I knew it would do me no good, because holding on to things that aren't meant to last only causes harm. I held onto my love for him from so long which only led to me being heartbroken multiple times but now I chose happiness for myself so I finally did the right thing I should've done long ago, I let go of Karan Malhotra and I refused to look back at my past.

As I dressed myself and looked at my reflection in the mirror, I realized what Rayhan meant when he talked about my eyes. The thing about Rayhan was, he observed small details of me, making me feel even more special than necessary. I was open to him about my thoughts and feelings but when I was not, he knew how to get things out of me.

I took in a deep breath before stepping into the room where I found Rayhan reading a book, I was taken aback and I took my time reading him with a smile on my face.

He never told me he was a reader but as I looked at him, sprawled over my bed with a book in his hands, he almost looked lost in the story. I squinted my eyes to see what he was reading and my heart warmed as I realized he chose one of my favourites, The Fault In Our Stars.

"I didn't know you were a reader." I spoke up which made him jump in surprise at my presence.

"I was not until I chose to read the book you rambled about so much last week." He rolled his eyes before he sat up on the bed and tossed the book to the side table.

"Or you were jealous so you wanted to know what was so special about Augustus Waters that made me fall in love with him." I winked, knowingly and he shot me a look.

"I'm not jealous and anyway, I'm not talking to you." He made a grumpy face and I frowned as I made my way to bed and took a seat beside him.

"Why?"

"You literally 'bro-zoned' me." His eyes were wide and he tried to look offended.

I laughed at his expressions as I shifted and sat in front of him. He tried to look at anywhere but my eyes so I cupped his cheek with my one hand and tangled my other arm around his neck before making him lean in. I could see the trace of smile on his lips when he finally looked into my eyes but he closed them as soon as I placed my lips on his. My hand which was cupping his cheek earlier was now around his neck as well as he snaked his arms around my waist and shifted me on his lap.

Our kisses weren't rushed, rather they were slow and sensual as we tried to savour the taste of each other. He let out a soft moan when I traced my tongue on his bottom lip, eager to deepen the kiss. When our tongues met, I felt clouds forming up in my mind and I knew I couldn't think straight anymore. Rayhan had some strange effect of me, the feelings that I tried to make sense out of but failed everytime.

Each time he moaned my name in between the kiss, I felt each and every cell inside my body coming to life at the sound of his voice. He did things to me that I didn't know were right or wrong but I didn't care, I yearned for happiness from so long and when this guy was beside me and the way he held me in his arms like this and kissed me like it was the most special moment of his life, that is when I felt the happiest. He didn't give me happiness anymore, rather he became my happiness now.

"College!" I heard myself speak, my subconscious mind taking over my mouth.

"What?" Rayhan parted and gave me a bewildered look.

"I fucking missed my college." I spoke slowly, trying to come to my senses.

Before I could even muster up my thoughts and process what just happened and from where did 'college' come from, Rayhan started laughing like the crazy person he was.

"Did you seriously ruin such a good moment with that?" He asked between his laughs and I shot him a look before trying to get off his lap but he didn't let me as he kept his arms around my waist.

"I don't even know where that came from, I wasn't even thinking about it, I swear! My subconscious always ruins things for me." I whined and he chuckled.

"It's okay baby." He kissed my forehead with an amused smile on his face and I swatted his shoulder.

"Don't make fun of me." I said as I hid my flushed face by burying it in his shoulder and he laughed.

"Okay, I won't. But, how did you forget about college, seriously? It's just been a week since you started." He asked, sounding serious and I wanted to slap myself for being an idiot.

"I don't know, last night was mentally exhausting and it must have slipped from my mind after that." I explained to him as I moved from his lap and laid down beside him.

"I'll go get lunch for you and after that you're telling me everything." He spoke in a stern voice and I nodded.

I was glad he wasn't dragging me till the living room to have lunch and was rather bringing it here so I didn't argue when he wanted to know everything.

Sometimes I really hated myself for treating Rayhan the way I did, he liked me more than he let on and I refused to even call him my boyfriend or be in a proper relationship with him. I wasn't ashamed of him, heck, he was hot and the most ridiculously good looking guy I've ever come across but I wanted to mentally prepare myself before it. He deserved more than this thing we had going on but I was afraid that while running away from the idea of love, I might be falling for him.

"Here you go!" Rayhan said before placing food in front of me. I sat up straight and passed him a small smile which made him frown, "Is something wrong?"

"No." I shook my head before taking the first bite of roti (Indian Bread).

He was scowling at me but when I offered him a bite from my hand, that made him smile a little. As he closed his mouth to take the bite, he bit on my finger in the process.

"Asshole." I cursed and he chuckled.

"You do realize that girls don't abuse like that, right? Especially not when it's directed at the guy they happen to like."

Okay, so he had a point but Rayhan and I were annoying buddies before we came to this stage and I didn't really care about the curse words.

"You do realize that it isn't appropriate to bite others, right?"

"Touché." He smirked and after that looked into my eyes. "I want you to start talking this minute, I want to know everything that happened yesterday Tanvi. I am not too happy about the fact that you didn't let me pick you up after you guys were done and then shut me out like that." He scowled at me and I felt guilty.

"I know but I'm not sorry about it Rayhan, you had an exam today. I couldn't let you deal with my bullshit in that situation, I wanted you to study." I told him.

He nodded as he caressed my cheek, "And I did study baby, now finish the lunch and tell me everything."

After that we sat and finished the lunch in silence and as soon as it was over, I started telling him everything from the beginning. He knew how I met Karan and each and every memory we shared because of the night I caught Varnika and Karan making out, after which I shared everything with him.

I cannot even imagine the pain he must go through each time I talk about my past. It isn't easy to listen to someone's love life when you have feelings for them and this selfless guy literally forced me each time to talk so that I could feel better. It took me about more than half an hour telling him everything.

The thing that surprised me after I was done talking was that I didn't even once end up crying while telling everything to Rayhan or recalling any memory.

"Are you sure you've let go of him?" He looked at me with concern, afraid that I might break down.

I gave him out a small smile, "Yes, Rayhan. I'm over him, it wasn't doing me any good anyway. I cannot cry over him my whole life and plus, I need to be happy.. I sort of got bored of being sad all the time." I tried to joke and he smiled at me.

"You know you're the strongest person I know Tannu, it's a bold step you took baby." He kissed my forehead and I beamed at him.

We sat in silence for few minutes after which I got up from the bed to keep the dirty dishes in the kitchen. My mother was nowhere in sight. I made my way towards her room and after talking to me for ten minutes she left for the evening walk and I got back in my room.

Of course, I was scolded for sleeping in late and missing college but she also asked about how Rayhan and I were doing. She assumed we were dating and maybe we were but without any tags and labels so I didn't bother correcting her.

"Your phone was ringing, I didn't bother to pick up since I thought that might piss you off." Rayhan informed as soon as I stepped in and I nodded as I went to check it.

There was a missed call from Samarth and I immediately smiled as I read his name.

"Who was it?" He asked as he looked up from his own phone.

"Samarth." I answered before dialing him back. I waited patiently as Samarth took time to pick up the call and when he did I spoke up first, "Hey, Samarth!"

In the last week, four of us had become really good friends and we almost daily hung out together after attending lectures. None of us had skipped any of them yet but we decided to do that soon because none of us were the college nerds to attend all of them.

"Tanvi, I'm really mad at you." I heard him speak from the other side and I frowned.

"Why? What did I even do?"

"We were supposed to skip the lectures together and you betrayed me." He said, sounding genuinely hurt and I felt guilty for not going to college.

"Sam, I'm so sorry, I didn't to skip them on purpose I just slept in too late and basically forgot about college." I tried to explain myself.

"Did you just say you forgot about the college?" He sounded amused and I gave out a nervous laugh.

"Yeah, I did."

"Only you, Tanvi Kapoor, only you! Anyway, are you free this evening? Ayesha, Krishiv and I are planning to go to this club and since we missed you today, I suggest you should come." He offered and I mentally debated before answering him.

"Don't we have college tomorrow?"

"We'll be home maximum by ten, I promise you that." He said and I found myself agreeing.

"Okay, message me the details, I'll be there."

All this while I could feel Rayhan's eyes on me and I tried not to think it through. He didn't like it when I hung out with Samarth even when Ayesha and Krishiv were there because according to him they were a couple and it didn't matter if they were there or not. For a fact, I knew if Rayhan and I were ever going to be in a relationship, he was going to be a possessive boyfriend.

But, right now he has every right to be possessive. You don't commit to him even though you guys kiss all the time, he needs the protection of the label to know that you're his and you hanging out with other guys like that will definitely make him feel threatened about his place when he isn't even your 'boyfriend'.

Okay, so my subconscious decided to lecture me and I hate to say it but it really did make sense. I sighed and my thoughts were cut off when I heard Samarth speak.

"Tanvi, you there?" He asked and I literally slammed my head against my palm for getting lost in my thoughts.

"Yes, sorry. What were you saying?"

"Do you want me to pick you up?"

"No, I'll drive by myself. Thank you." I replied and did the mistake of meeting Rayhan's eyes which immediately made me gulp in nervousness.

"Okay, see you there." With that we hung up.

Before I could even think of what I should speak, Rayhan cut me through it.

"Enjoy your date tonight, Tanvi." He got up from the bed and was ready to leave.

"Rayhan, c'mon. Don't be like this." I tried to call him out but by that time he was already out of the room.

Was it just me or was he overreacting? I guess he was.

"Rayhan Roy! At least listen to me." I ran after him before he could leave the house. I went and blocked him from walking further and he narrowed his eyes at me, anger evident in them.

"What the fuck do you want me to do, Tanvi? I thought leaving your past behind was a step forward for us. But honestly? I don't see any 'us' happening anytime soon. I've tried to be patient with you and understand you always, and I still do because I'm not asking you to rush into anything Tanvi, I'm not! I just want a bit of assurance and you cannot even give me that and then you go on date with other people. Samarth literally asked you out in the name of 'hanging out with Ayesha, Krishiv and him' I can literally see through it and you cannot." He yelled each and every word,taking me aback as I looked at him with wide eyes. For once I was glad that my mother wasn't here to witness this.

I always knew Rayhan had a really bad temper but I was glad because I never witnessed it and now as I did, I could feel tears forming in my eyes. He had every right to be mad, but the fact that his tone cut my heart into slits just hurt way too much.

"Rayhan, I'm sorry." I said, trying to form words to explain him anything I could but I was at loss of them.

"Save it Tanvi! I don't need your apology, all I wanted was to show you that I'm worthy enough of you or maybe I am not but at least I'm trying here. But you do not see that! We just kiss and that's my price and that is all!" His tone wasn't accusing but the way he used those words made me feel bitter about myself.

I was the wrong one here and maybe I deserved that kind of tone he used with me. The tears were now pricking at the corner of my eyes but I couldn't let them fall, not in front of him. I didn't want him to see that he had this effect on me.

Heck, I didn't want him to effect me like this in the first place because then he would hold the power to hurt me but I was too late, he already had it and so did I because I could see how much hurt I'd caused him.

"I'm done here, Tanvi. Bye." He said before leaving and slamming the front door behind him.

X.x
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